But... he's been slowly warming up to me. And, just recently, like within the past few months, we've actually started playing together.
Today was a MAJOR day for me... I'm sure it wasn't for him, it was just another trip to see "gamma".
But... you know what happened today? You know what is going to go into my (recently faulty) memory today?
HE CALLED ME BY MY NAME.
Now... he can't say "uncle" yet, but to hear him call me "Mike" was a BIG THING for me.
We had bought Jack a Bob The Builder toy yesterday when we were at Fry's Electronics (wow, I love that place!)... it was a Packer Delivery truck... that came with (allegedly) scented crates of apples... so... he can say "apples" pretty well (OK, it comes out more like "appooo") but the "tr" in "truck"... well... not so much.
..and so.. Jack and Mike played with his "apple guck".
]]>I haven't written to you in a while, but today I feel compelled to do do.
I haven't seen you for a few weeks. During that time, you were pretty sick with some kind of bug, and you have no idea how much trouble you put your mommies through. But, eventually.. it looks like you've made it through.
I was watching you today. You're crawling really fast now... you can almost stand unassisted. You've got at least two teeth that I can see, and you look pretty damn cute...
Actually, that's the thing I really noticed today.
Since the last time I saw you, you've changed. All of a sudden, I'm seeing the little boy Jackson and not Infant Jackson.. yeah, I know you're not even a year old yet... but now I can see your brain ticking.. thinking.. absorbing things.. reacting...
You're not the same Jackson that I knew.
Your face is filling out.. your hair longer and finally laying down and not sticking up...
I'm seeing these fleeting emotions on your face as you figure things out...
You seem quieter, more focused...
You're not the same Jackson... you are starting to grow up.. and turning the corner toward One Year Old...
I can't wait to see you in just a few weeks!
Love,
Uncle Michael
Actually, about my nephew Jackson and my sister Diane.
Diane has made the leap into blogging - blogging all about Jackson, her son.
Even though she'll probably never link to me, please go over and visit her blog and check out the great pictures of Jackson!
I've already added her site to my Blogroll...
So, go to a little ditty.....
]]>I know you may think it's just another Sunday going to that Grandma's house, but it was a big day for me. At least, it felt like it to me.
You know why? Well, there's two reasons, one of which you just don't know anything about yet. Tonight is the Season Opener for Major League Baseball. This is a big deal for me, because baseball is my most favorite sport. What made it more special was that tonight there was only one game being played in all of baseball. Baseball decided that the Chicago White Sox, my favorite baseball team, will start-off the whole baseball season. What makes it even more special. is that the White Sox won the World Series last year for the first time in 88 years, and they were going to raise their Championship banners before the game. Thats a real special thing if you're a baseball fan. Now, normally, Auntie Carol and Uncle Michael would both be at that game, but this year we're here with you. We're watching the game on TV, but we're here with you.
Tonight, I was on the floor with you for a while, and even though you never smiled when we were together, at least you let me stick around and we hung out. I consider that a big deal.
The really big deal for me came after dinner. Because I'm always standing up and walking around because of my leg twitches, your mommies came up with an idea. You had eaten as much as you were going to eat of dinner, and you didn't have a nap, so the next thing I knew, you were being handed off to me, so I could walk around and hold you, and hopefully you'd fall asleep.
Well, guess what? Yep, you fell asleep, and you slept for almost an hour! I didn't mind holding you at all. It was kind of cool. I mean, you weren't awake so you couldn't exactly reject me, so you just slept quietly and soundly the whole time.
Now, I have to admit that, when you finally woke up, you really had to look around to figure out where you were and were your mommies were. And then, you had to figure out what the heck was holding you - me. Well, you started to fuss and I had to give you up - which was probably a good thing because between the two of us, somebody was generating an awful lot of heat. I mean, we were both sweating. Your hair was all wet, my shirt was all wrinkled.
Still, I really enjoyed holding you and you really aren't rejecting me like I thought you were, and that makes me feel good.
Yesterday when Auntie Carol and Uncle Michael were out shopping, we got you your first official baseball cap. It fit you really well, and I was so surprised and happy to watch you wear your hat without a problem! in fact, it almost looked like you liked wearing it! You never once tried to take it off.
And you looked pretty damn cute wearing it, too.
Maybe someday we'll get a chance to watch a baseball game on TV, too. It's just so hard watching TV at grandma's house - there's always just too many things going on.
See you soon, Jackson!
Love,
Uncle Michael
When I saw you today, I saw something that I had never seen before in my life. Mind you, I haven't hung around people your age. At all. Ever. So, every time I see see you, I see something new, somebody new.
You are getting older, and you're still changing - something that's going to happen for years.
But I saw something that I just don't know how long it will last. And your mom's have better start videotaping you. In close-up.
While you are playing.
Because I have never seen the emotion of pure happiness when you're being played with. You scream and howl with such delight. But the kickers are your expressions in between each outburst, as you wait for the next silly face or tummy raspberry or whatever. You almost know what's coming and you just can't wait for it to happen. And you don't know it, but you do something with your mouth that makes you look like E.T. (maybe someday you'll get to know what a movie is and who E.T. is).
But the screams, the noises, there's just an untouched purity about them. There's no worldly knowingness that, oh, here comes mommy again, oh yeah, that was fun, what else do you have to make me happy.
I don't know how long this will last. I know it won't last forever. But we have to capture this. Wouldn't that be great? Bottle it - to open in the future when your giggle is needed to cheer someone up.
I'm doing my part, using my iRiver to grab some MP3's of your sounds.
It brightens up anybody's day if they can hear it. It's wonderful.
Try not to lose what you already have that we all want.
With love,
Uncle Michael
What an interesting day! Do you remember that big building we were all in today? It was all bright and nice and the ceiling and lights were way up in the air? That was a really special place - it's called a church. The church has a name - it's called Old Saint Patrick's Church, and it's a very cool place. It was built a long, long time ago (dedicated on Christmas Day, 1856), and it's one of the few buildings to survive the Great Chicago Fire of 1871, which you'll learn about some day (believe it or not, a moo-cow was involved!) and in 1977, Old St. Patrick's was listed on the National Register of Historic Places, which means that it really is a special place.
Now, almost all of those people there were there not only to see you but support you as well. You see, you did something today that I know you don't understand. Do you remember seeing a man in a white robe? He was a really nice guy, but he poured water all over your head. You didn't seem to mind at all, and neither did that other baby Reese that was there. But see, that water was special and by having that man pour that water over your head made you special, too.
The whole thing was called a Baptism, or even a Christening. Someday you'll learn more about it.
In the meantime, just know that you're loved by many people. And you kind of joined a club today, though it really is much more than a club. A REALLY BIG club...
And me? You know, I got a new title today. I'm not just your uncle, I am now your Godfather, too.
Someday - and that day may never come - I'll call upon you to do a service for me. But until that day... whoops... umm, sorry about that... maybe someday when you're older we'll talk about that, too, and about this guy named "Don"...
So, bud, I'm sorry but if you thought you were stuck with me before, you're really stuck with me now.
We've just got to get through this anti-guy thing, even though you were REALLY a good boy today. Everybody really loved you today - you won them over. It's just that us guys are having a hard time being with you because you seem to be getting upset with us. We all love you and just want to be with you.
I really liked the outfit you had on at the restaurant after the baptism, the one with the Scottie on it.
Anyway, you are a special little boy. And I promise that I will do whatever I can to help you get through your life.
See you real soon.
Your uncle,
Michael
Want to know how special of a day this was?
It was a day when Melinda and Diane had their son baptized at historic Old St. Patrick's Catholic Church.
That's how special it was.
]]>OK, I'm starting to feel a slight twinge of rejection. I was holding you again today, but to keep you happy and smiling, I was holding you outward, so you can see everybody, and it was easy to fly you over to Auntie Carol.
But when I talk to you or try to get you to "lock on" to me so that we can play a bit, you don't seem very happy. You're starting to look at me with a confused look - as if you were trying to figure out if I'm a good guy or a bad guy. I see fleeting expressions on your face that just run the gambit of happiness to... wait... you probably wouldn't know what "gambit" is... 20 weeks and I think you understand English when I can't even speak it well...
I know you're not even 5 months old yet, but, you know... I was just hoping.
But, I also realize that you don't see me a lot. It's only once a week, if we're lucky. And when it comes to human interaction, I don't know how much you remember. Do you know who I am?
I'm starting to believe, though, that this is going to be a real long term problem that we're going to have to work out. I mean, let's face it. I'm different. I'm different than everyone else that you interact with at home or even at my mommy's house. I look different and I sound different. I wonder if that's bothering you? Should I be trying to speak in a softer voice? A higher voice? Heaven forbid - do I need to lose the beard?
I need to connect with you somehow, Jackson. Your uncle really does love you but he just doesn't get what's happening. It's not like he's had any experience before either, so, let's face it - he's lost.
Maybe when you get a little older everything will make more sense. For the both of us.
We'll work it out - it's just a bit rough right now.
Love,
Uncle Michael
Uncle Michael wants to let you know that, no matter how hard it is for me to believe this, I'm not taking it personally that you started bawling when I held you today.
I was told that sometimes, you just get scared for no reason at all and when that happens you just start to scream and cry. There was nothing I did to scare you, but sometimes you just get scared.
It's fun holding on to you and talking to you now. You're starting to become aware of tings around you. You're getting bigger and stronger. I still think it's a kick that you seem to enjoy watching football on TV... though I can't figure out why, except for the colors and motion...
You have a great smile and you've started to develop this giggle and laugh when your mommy plays with you that's to die for.
Just understand that when we're at my mommy's house, there's always people that want to hold you and be with you and play with you. I never want to ask to hold you because I know there are other people that want to do that and I want to make sure that they have time with you. I figure that you don't have very many uncles, so, somewhere down the line, I figure I'll have time with you... doing... something.
Anyway, I just wanted you to know. No hard feelings.
Your uncle,
Uncle Michael
Because we're busy tomorrow, we all went to mom's house today for dinner. I had purchased something for Jack that - unfortunately - arrived the day after Thanksgiving, so I couldn't give it to him when he was at our house for the first time.
It was an infant knit hat that had two knots in the corners. Oh, and White Sox logos all over. Yes, have to get to him early. Have to get him to formulate an opinion about the team early. A positive one. So, this is the beginning of the subtle subterfuge. Wardrobe. Get him familiar with the shapes and colors.
]]>Boy, do they look tired!!!
Jack is 9 weeks old today and - I thought - he was in good spirits. I know, it's really hard to tell when he's only 9 weeks old. He's still not sleeping long at all and just wants to eat on his schedule, and it's all based off a 2-hour loop. How the moms are coping, I don't know. Maybe it's just the knowledge that he's going to grow out of this. Some day. Don't know when. Maybe. At least, he's supposed to...
Somehow, they manged to put together a beef roast/pot roast dinner with potatoes and carrots. Carol whipped-up a birthday cake this morning.
I had my chance to hold Jack again today, since he was ripped out of my hands at the party last week. He fussed a bit, but he was pretty awake. He's in that watching "bright shiny objects" phase, so he's constantly looking at lights (he has a fascination with the dining room chandelier for some reason). It's cool seeing the changes over the weeks. I've never had this experience before, where I can see the little changes week-to-week. He's getting tall. He's also got pretty big feet, and he's constantly loosing his socks. I've got to learn to hold him better because I keep pushing up his pants legs and he looks goofy. He's getting stronger and he's lifting his head pretty well... though he's kind of throwing it around and you have to watch that he doesn't knock your teeth out. I just can't wait until he gets a little more "interactive". I just wish he'd start to sleep more just so the moms could start recovering.
]]>(You can hear a little bit of Jack fussing in my arms in this MP3)
]]>After all, he's 6 weeks old today and we haven't seen him since he was 3, so we've missed-out on half his life already! He's changed a bit, too. He finally starting to look like a little guy. Last time we saw him he was still a little bundle. Now, as my mom said, he seams to be "un-winding". His legs and arms aren't being held close to the body anymore, so it's like he's finally stretching out. He's getting bigger, too, which you would expect by now.
I had what I consider a cool thing happen. he was laying on the floor with Melinda and went over to see if I could stimulate him and "play" with him (as much as you could "play" with a 6-week-old). I leaned-in close to him. His eyes are just starting to work, so you have to get close to him for him to see you. Then it happened - his eyes after looking all over locked on to mine and for that brief few seconds, I really knew he was looking at me for the first time. He reacted, but he's reacted to every sound and light show he sees, but it was still pretty damn cute (and touching actually) to know that he saw you.
I brought some gifts over for him that he won't have clue about for years to come, but I got him a World Series pennant and an official World Series Game Ball , and a program. He's not going to appreciate the gifts. I hope some day he would. Chicago had a World Series Winner for the first time in 88 years and he was around for it. He's just not going to remember it at all whatsoever, so I got him some things to commemorate it.
The family had long discussions about Christmas. Every year, Christmas never works out the way you want it. This year is going to be one of those years, I'm afraid. It'd be nice for everyone to get together, but with restrictive schedules, it just can't happen.
On the way home tonight I had to stop and take pictures of the house on Nagle that's all decorated. I forgot to get it at REaster, but I did get it at Christmas.
]]>Tonight's different. Diane and Melinda are bringing Jack over. His first night out with the family.
Melinda brought Jack into the house in his car seat/carrier thing. Every time I see him now, he looks the same and looks different. Is it possible that he changes so quickly? He's only 2 weeks old. He's in such demand - trying to get everyone's attention. Actually, he's just trying to remember how much he's learned about life in just 2 weeks. We're just getting suckered into providing for him and holding him and comforting him. At this age, that seems to be pretty simple - especially since we're not with him 24 hours a day. Melinda is doing a bang-up job, as well as Diane. They're dragging, though. His feeding cycles are a little tight, making for only very very short naps. Yes, they're dragging.
That picture above is of Jack as I took my turn holding him tonight. You know how hard it is to try to hold a camera with one hand and try to take a picture with a macro focus in low-light while trying to hold onto the subject with your other hand? It took a couple of tries - either I was too close and couldn't get the camera to focus or I moved too much and blurred the shot. I was fortunate, however. Jack had just been fed and was in one of his "Milk Coma's". Apparently after he feeds, he's just light's out. In fact, it was kinda scary because you couldn't even tell he was breathing. He would just lay there, so comfortable and peaceful. Every couple of minutes he would kind of sigh, this cute little high pitched, but quite whisper sigh and move around just a hair and then he would continue on dreaming of whatever he was dreaming about.
I sat on the couch in the living room. Mom finished putting away dinner, so she had to have her time with Jack, so I didn't have much time with him tonight. I felt so much different this week compared to last week. I didn't panic, I just held him and basically just kind of stared at him the whole time.. I couldn't really talk to him - there were others in the room. And he really wasn't listening - he was out cold.
It's that weird thing that takes over though, where you just look at him. You trace the arch of the cartilage on his tiny little ear. You check out his nose, his eyebrows. You absent mindedly stroke his back. Des it feel good? Does he care? He doesn't seem to react - he sees to be enjoying that deep sleep of his.
So Mom wrestled Jack away from me. That's the way it's going to be, I guess - Jack's going to be passed around and fought over for quite some time.
I guess the key is to treasure what time you have.
]]>I NEVER leave a game early. NEVER. The exception is the opportunity to see Jack.
We went over to his house. It took us only 10 minutes after we got out of Comiskey to get to their house. It was shocking.
Walking in the front door, I see my mom holding him. Diane met us at the door, holding back the crazy dog pack. I looked in and saw Melinda - she looks exhausted. She's almost looks angry, but it's got to be that she's trying to just hold it together after being extremely sleep deprived. Diane and Melinda are still trying to figure out the whole feed-change-sleep schedule thing. It's only been a week. Wow. We got to their house hours before Jack turned One Week Old.
Jack, like many infants, had Jaundice. He's been in a UV fiber optic light bundle for a couple of days, but today is his first day without the light treatment - his count is back down. I'll bet that's added to the fatigue scheduling problem they're having.
Found out something interesting. It turns out Jack lost 10 ounces this week. The Moms thought that if he was hungry, he'd be crying more. Made sense to me. Turns out we're wrong - when they're really young, they haven't figured out that they're hungry and they don't cry. You feed them on a schedule. Period. So they had to supplement with formula.
Apparently, Jack just loves the whole bottle thing. Less work than breastfeeding. So, the Moms asked their nurse about that. The nurse then tells them that, yes, boy babies are lazy and love bottles! Lazy! Don't want to work for their food!
Well, even though I should feel upset and stand up for men... I can't. I firmly believe that you shouldn't have to work for your food (probably why I love lobster and crab, but hate having to get the meat out of the legs, claws, body...) I think I sympathize...
We ordered-out for pizza - there was no way we would have them prepare a meal for us... not that they physically could do it.
I had a really odd thing happen to me tonight. Other than the few minutes holding Jack at the hospital last week, I've never really held a baby for an extended period of time. And I can't count last week because it was the first time to hold him and just look at him and feel those weird feelings that you're holding a relative. And you're just staring, and looking at his nose, his eyes, his chin, his ears...
So tonight, I had my first time with him, freshly fed. Those that know me know that I don't sit for long periods of time at all, so I stood and walked around with Jack. He really wasn't asleep. He was there sometimes, but then he was sort-of my awake without being awake. Sometime he would do this real quiet whimper. I would quietly whimper back at him in the same pitch and length. He would do it again and I would answer. It was like we were conversing... though nothing more than "I'm here" and "hi, I'm here too" like birds would do. We walked around for a while. I could see his eyes moving behind his eyelids, trying to figure out what his dreams may be like, since he's had such a limited life experience so far in tis one week.
And then it started.
I started getting anxious. Scared. It's that - oh my God, what am I doing... what if he wriggles out of my arms - how do I support his head - how do I make him more comfortable - watch where you're going - don't bump him into anything - what if he falls - am I doing this right - he looks smushed, am I carrying him right - my arm is just starting to burn, the kid's heavier than I thought - what if I don't have a good hold of him - should he be more flat or more upright - am I hurting him - can he breathe OK - I can't change positions, I'm deathly afraid of losing my hold of him - how can I turn him around. All of the things I want to just look at on his face and head and I'm losing the ability to record all of that information in heart and head because I'm just getting real uptight and worry and anxiety take over. Weird. It's never come over me like that before, but then again, it's not like I hold kids very often at all.
I know I'll get better at this. I'm his uncle, I just need a little work.
We left early after pizza. There's no way we're staying long today - these girls need their rest.
I wonder when I'll see Jack again?
]]>Maybe it's a little early to think about baseball right now.
I started thinking about the first gift that I actually bought for him. It was a few months ago when I was at Comiskey (OK, U.S. Cellular Field for you fuddy-duddies). They had these cute pastel baby blue baseballs. I knew that that had to be my first gift (Of course, it's got a nice pastel baby blue logo of the White Sox on it). I started to think that he's not going to throwing it for a while. I mean, he can't really hold it right now, either. It's a little big, and probably a little heavy for his 7-pound-12-ounce frame. He can't throw a knuckle ball yet, he really doesn't have good fingernails. And he's got no chance of throwing a 4-seam fastball when his hand is barely larger than the width of the stitching itself. Then there's that whole stand-up thing so he can throw better (But maybe I can work on it before he can stand... he'd be great stretching and diving for a catch in the infield and being on the ground to unload a throw to first for a third out to save a run scoring...) Then there's the running around the bases thing... and he's not standing yet. Not even walking. Not even crawling. Not even mobile. He can't even lift his head yet... yeah, it's a little early. A uniform could look pretty cool, though... gotta find a cap...
Fielding... yeah, that's it. That's the first thing we'll work on... he doesn't have to get the whole throwing thing down, yet. I've seen pros that still don't have the whole throwing thing down yet. But, if he can catch, he can be a player. A clinch hero. And maybe when he can finally sit up by himself for the first time, we can practice some grounders with a plastic ball - more his size.
I'm going to have to come up with reasons why players spit, if he asks. I'm sure he's going to pick-up the whole drool thing pretty soon. Spitting requires much more effort. I just gotta make sure that even though players do it, doesn't mean it's something that anybody and everybody should do, especially little guys just learning the ropes. It's not right. It's not polite. Like that other thing they do - the scratching.
Man, that opens-up that whole other area - the whole thing about "politeness".
Man, I'm all about that. There's that whole "please" and "thank you" thing that seems to be so underrated. I mean, if a little kid actually used those words, wouldn't you take notice? Hell, I take notice if adults say them... pretty damn rare out there... wow, and that's not even sports related...
I've got to make sure that it's not only a sports focus either. I mean, his moms are such financial & number wizards, I may have to combat the whole accounting and finance focus thing. NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT. Maybe that's something he could fall back on when his sports career is over, therefore solidifying a prosperous life.
Who am I kidding. His sports enthusiasm will probably be focused on golf with clients. Maybe pickup football games on the weekends. Or maybe just spectating while schmoozing clients for skyboxes. As long as there's no polyester involved and he knows an Earned Run Average from a Goals Against Average, I'm OK.
So much to think about... and he's not home from the hospital yet...
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