THEME
"It's Like Adam Building His First House"

Here we are - the final episode...

We're on Ellis Beach on the North coast of Australia. David & Jeff (known to us as Team Who?) are the first to depart at 1:47am. "Teams must now drive themselves 20 miles to the Tjapukai Aboriginal Cultural Park. Here, they will join in a traditional ceremony in which fire will signal tribesmen to bring them their next clue." Oh oh... Jeff narrates that he thinks that "they've made the least amount of mistakes of the three teams that remains at this point." Then they show that Team Who? doesn't really know how to close the rear doors of their Toyota SUV. All I can say is "oh, oh...". The Chipsters depart at 2:14am. There is only $1 given for this leg of the race. They narrate that people think all gay people are "queenie". Oh, boy. Team Who gets to the park to find out that Hours of Operation are 6am-6pm. Great - time for another "TAR Bunch-up". Jon & Kelly depart at 2:38am. Kelly: "Hours of Operation 6am to 6pm. We can still catch up." Jon: "Awwww... doesn't that stink for the boys.... let's go...".They are just way too nice to each other this morning. The sun comes up, all three teams are at the gate, and as it opens all break into al all-out run to the ceremony site. The watch intently as aborigines try to make a fire. In what has to be the most coolest visual thing of this season, a tribesman puts a long spear into a blazing fire, withdrawing what seems to by a bright sparkler at it's tip. He uses the spear to hurl the sparkling thing off the tip and across about at least 100 feet of water toward a very small wooded island. When the burning thing reaches the island, the whole frickin' island goes up in flames (must have had a huge open gas main out there). Way cool. More tribesmen show up with a container full of "message sticks" which hold their next clue. Teams must now drive themselves 15 miles to the airport in the city of Cairns and search for the General Aviation Terminal, where they'll find their next clue. Oh, oh... "General Aviation Terminal" is not good. It's drizzling/raining as the sun is coming up. There's a white-knuckle SUV race to the airport and Chip sends his SUV hydroplaning off the road after he passed Jon & Kelly. He's lucky the vehicle didn't roll. Kelly tells Jon to keep on going because they're OK (referring to The Chipsters). Team Who is first to the Route Marker, followed right behind by Jon & Kelly and The Chipsters. The clue is a Detour - "Wing It" or "Wander it". In "Wing It" teams must get into a plane, climb to a height of 10,000 feet, and skydive in tandem with an instructor to their next clue. The task is potentially frightening, but teams can finish it fast. In "Wander It", teams drive to a mangrove forest and find a boat, use it to navigate out of the forest and then to the skydiving landing zone to get their next clue. There's nothing frightening about the task, but completing it could take a very long time. Everyone choses "Wing It". (Reichen decides that this is better than being in a car with Chip!)

Everyone makes the jump, (though some (Kelly) were quite more frightened than others) and everybody had a great time. Team Who? is first on the ground and get to the Route Marker. Teams must now travel 4,700 miles to the island of Hawaii, also known as The Big Island. When they land, they'll have to chose a car (Another SUV - looks like a Ford) and drive themselves to Kaulana Bay - the southern-most part of the United States. It's now another trip back to Cairns Airport, but now to the International Terminal. Except for The Chipsters who want the Domestic Terminal. Team Who? (mostly Jeff) discusses that they should go to Sydney since Qantas was hubbed out of there so they'll get a better chance of getting to Hawaii.Turns out the Chipsters knew that even though they're at the domestic terminal Qantas is so good with customer service that they'll help them out. Kelly checks out a flight out of Sydney, but they'll miss the connecting flight. Team Who? books a flight to Sydney, with a flight to Honolulu the next day. They take off to Sydney, hoping to make better connections through there. The Chipsters book a flight from Cairns to Tokyo on Qantas and then a United flight that gets them into Honolulu at 6:55am (which sounds like they'll be in Hawaii before Team Who? leaves Australia). Kelly & Jon wind-up booking the same flights as The Chipsters from the other terminal. Team Who? gets to Sydney and works the phones for better connections. They think JAL can help them through japan, but all flights have left. They worked 3 hours trying to work any route and can't get out of Australia. In Tokyo the two teams try to make the transfer from Qantas to United - which is in a different terminal - within 45 minutes. The Chipsters got the bus and booked. Kelly & Jon get to a different terminal, get a United employee to help, get their own bus, and get to the gate - only to need boarding passes which they don't have. The Chipsters board the plane, the rest of the gate crew won't let them on and Kelly & Jon miss the United flight - as The Chipsters get upgraded to Business Class and drink champagne on the way to Hawaii.

Kelly is devastated that they missed the flight. They find a flight that gets in at 8:05am instead of 6:55am, so they take it. We see The Chipsters arrive at Kona Airport on the big island - but we have no idea how they got there (since they were going to Honolulu). They drive to Kaulana Bay. Team Who? is still in Sydney and is now worried since they didn't see any of the teams come through there. The get on their flight to Honolulu. Kelly & Jon arrive in Kona. Chip is steak behind a slow driver and you know that's just pissing him off. The Chipsters hit the bay and find the Route Marker. The clue is a Roadblock: "Who is a strong swimmer and good with a hammer?" In this Roadblock, the team member has to swim out to a floating tiki head, dive beneath the waves to the rock below and get the rock back to the beach. Once on shore, they'll have to smash the rock open to retrieve the clue from inside. Chip is chosen for the task, and gets the rock back to the beach. It takes a long time with a hammer and chisel to get the rock open. Jon & Kelly are on the road to Kaulana Bay. Chip finally gets te rock open. The clue is in a tube at the core. Teams must drive themselves 60 miles to Hawaii Volcanoes National Park and find a lookout point.Then, they must follow a marked path across a field of hardened lava to a Route Marker. The Chipsters drive to the Park, Jon & Kelly get to Route Marker and Jon decides to do the task. But, he doesn't want to get his underwear wet, so he decides to do the task naked. Oh. Good. God. Who the hell would crouch over a rock with a hammer, chisel, and safety glasses, with pieces of sharp rock flying everywhere totally naked? Looks like Jon gets through the rock with little effort (or a lot of editing). Jon puts on his pants and drive to the volcanoes. The Chipsters arrive, walk the path, and get to the Route Marker. Teams must now travel 2,900 miles to their final destination city - Phoenix Arizona. Once there, they must search for a monument - the anchor from the U.S.S. Arizona, one of the ships sunk during the attack on Pearl Harbor. It's here they will get their next clue. The Chipsters decide to go to Hilo instead of back to Kona for the flight. Kelly & Jon reach the Route Marker and they take off. Kelly has flight info for flights back to Honolulu. They decide that Kona has more flights so they head back there. The Chipsters book a flight from Hilo to Honolulu that gets in at 8:17pm and then a flight leaves at 11:15pm for Phoenix that arrives at 8:15am. They fly to Honolulu. Jon & Kelly get to Kona and fly to Honolulu. The Chipsters, in Honolulu, try to get the best seat assignments at the front of the plane. Jon & Kelly, in Honolulu, book a flight to Phoenix - the same one as The Chipsters, and 4 rows behind them. The Chipsters start asking people in the terminal waiting areas on the exact location of the anchor. Kelly & Jon start doing the same. They enter Gate 33 and fly back to the mainland.

The flight to Phoenix looks stressful to the racers. They land in Phoenix and race through the airport. The Chipsters are first to get a cab. Chip looks like he's bribing the driver as soon as they pull away. Kelly & Jon get a cab right behind them. The Chipsters now say they'll give the guy $50 to get there as fast as they can. Jon gives his driver the "first hundred bucks" as their bribe. The teams talk about emergencies, the race, other cabs trying to overtake you. The Chipsters get to the anchor, while Jon & Kelly may have the right park but their cab driver doesn't know where the anchor is. The Chipsters read their clue: "You've come a long way from Dodger Stadium and you're almost there. So, make your way to the southeast entrance of Sun Devil Stadium." They get back into their waiting cab. Kelly & Jon's driver finds the anchor. They bolt for the Route Marker, read the clue, and head back for the cab. Did I mention that it's been raining in Phoenix? Well, Jon runs toward a low wall to jump over it when his feet slide out from underneath him as he slams into the wall. They get in the cab and take off. Reichen gives the cab driver another $50 "just to keep you motivated". Just then we see Jon tell their cab driver "I've got another $100 bucks if you drive like a madman." The Chipsters hit Sun Devil Stadium and run to the Route Marker. They have the cab driver turn his cab around so it's pointed put ward just to make sure they get a fast getaway. They read the clue: "To find your next clue, solve the following puzzle. Happy Valentine's Day + White + White." To solve the riddle, teams must first translate the date - February 14th - into the number 214. They must then figure out that "White + White" refers to the two players who's name's White are written on the stadium's wall. One White is number 33 (this refers to Wilford White) and the other is 11 (this refers to Danny White). Using all these numbers, teams must figure out that they need to get to Section 214 Row 33 Seat 11 to get their next clue. Chip is on the right track, checking out Section 2 Row 14. Kelly and Jon are still going to the stadium. Chip realizes that he 200's are upstairs, so they climb up the ramps. They get to 214 and Chip slowly walks up the stairs. He looks up, sees the players numbers and names on the facade and heads to row 33. Chip grabs the clues and start their way back down as we see Kelly & Jon's cab pull into the facility. Kelly gets out and bolts to the Route Marker. (Hmmm... I don't see The Chipsters' cab... bad editing... and you know what's weird? There's four clues, not three... a ruse so that the people don't really know who's in the lead?) Still on the ramps down, Reichen reads the clue: "Make your way to the west parking lot of Papago Park. Chose a pair of mountain bikes and ride the marked path until you reach the end of the bike course - the Finish Line." Jon & Kelly figure out the clue as The Chipsters pull away. John & Kelly get the final clue and get back to their cab and leave. Tension is building. It's 8 o'clock at night and the editing makes it into a mad scramble with the taxis. We see a cab pull up. The Chipsters get out and walk to the rack of marked mountain bikes. They take off down the path. We see Phil on the huge final mat, looking out toward the distance. All of the eliminated teams are shown cheering. Kelly and Jon pull up in their cab, get their bikes and take off. Reichen and Chip hit the end of the trail, drop the bikes, and start running up a trail and onto the stage/mat.

"4 continents. 24 cities. 44,000 miles. Reichen & Chip, you are the official winners of The Amazing Race!"

Chip has a tearful speech. Jon & Kelly run up to the stage. "Kelly and Jon, you're the second team to arrive. Congratulations." Kelly breaks down sobbing. They narrate a few things.

And then we see fresh, hot lava pouring over what appears to be an asphalt road in the dark at 5:30am. David & Jeff walk out of their SUV in the rain and darkness to the Route Marker. You hear David say "Are we first? Are we the first team?" dripping in not rain but sarcasm. David reads the final clue: "Route Info. Reichen and Chip have crossed the Finish Line. The Race is over. Kelly and Jon came in second."

And thus ends what might be the last episode ever of the best Reality show on television. As of right now, CBS has not committed to a fifth year. Damn

Hey, you want to look at an overview of The Race? Look at this from Television Without Pity as viewed by Reichen and Chip:

On their journey, we have seen them riding 10 cars, 19 planes, 9 trains, 2 charter vans, 38 taxis, 2 ski-lifts, 1 zipline, 1 snow-raft, 2 buses, 1 gondola, 1 fiacre, 3 boats, 2 bikes, 1 bicycle wagon, 2 subways and 1 horse.

(Each taxi trip is counted separately, spoon-fed cars are counted as separate on different legs.)

SATURDAY 18 JANUARY - Day One
Dodger Stadium, Los Angeles, California, USA
Car to Los Angeles Airport, Los Angeles
Plane to Schiphol Airport, Amsterdam, Netherlands

SUNDAY 19 JANUARY - Day Two
Schiphol Airport, Amsterdam, Netherlands
Plane to Malpensa Airport, Milan, Lombardy, Italy
Subway to Galleria Vittorio Emanuele II, Milan
Walk to Hotel Nuovo, Milan

MONDAY 20 JANUARY - Day Three
Hotel Nuovo, Milan, Lombardy, Italy
Walk to Piazza Fontana, Milan
Charter Van to Piazza Roma, Cortina D'Ampezzo, Veneto, Italy
Taxi to Cinque Torri, Cortina D'Ampezzo
Ski-lift, Zipline and Ski-lift again at Cinque Torri
Taxi to Hotel Lajadira, Cinque Torri

TUESDAY 21 JANUARY - Day Four
Hotel Lajadira, Cortina D'Ampezzo, Veneto, Italy
Taxi to Trampolino Olimpico, Cortina D'Ampezzo
Snow-raft at Trampolino Olimpico
Taxi to Train Station, Calalzo, Veneto
Bus to Train Station, Alpi, Veneto
Train to Stazione Santa Lucia, Venice, Venito
Walk to Ponte Della Guglia, Venice
Gondola to Calle Querini, Venice
Walk to Palazzo da Mosto, Venice
Walk to Citta di Padova, Venice

WEDNESDAY 22 JANUARY - Day Five
Citta di Padova, Venice, Veneto, Italy
Walk to Stazione Santa Lucia, Venice
Train to Verona, Veneto, Italy
Train to Innsbruck, Austria
Train to Westbahnhof Train Station, Vienna, Austria
Walk to Friedrichstrasse/Operngasse, Vienna
Walk to Kaiserhof Hotel, Vienna

THURSDAY 23 JANUARY - Day Six
Kaiserhof Hotel, Vienna, Austria
Walk to Friedrichstrasse/Operngasse, Vienna
Walk to Stadtpark, Vienna
Fiacre to Schonbrunn Palace, Vienna
Walk to Figarohaus, Vienna
Taxi to Donautrum, Vienna
Taxi to Westbahnhof Train Station, Vienna
Train to Attnang Train Station, Gmunden, Austria
Taxi to Seeschloss Orth, Gmunden

FRIDAY 24 JANUARY - Day Seven
Extended Pitstop at Seeschloss Orth, Gmunden, Austria

SATURDAY 25 JANUARY - Day Eight
Seeschloss Orth, Gmunden, Austria
Taxi to Salzburg Airport. Salzburg, Austria
Plane to Frankfurt Airport, Frankfurt, Germany
Plane to CDG Airport, Paris, France
Taxi to Montparnesse Station, Paris
Train to Le Mans Station, Le Mans, Sarthe
Taxi to Circuit Bugatti, Le Mans
Car to Porte 4 Cap Janet, Marseille, Provence, France

SUNDAY 26 JANUARY - Day Nine
Porte 4 Cap Janet, Marseille, Provence, France
Same car to Sainte Marie Lighthouse, Marseille
Same car to Gorges du Blavet, Provence
Same car to Chateau des Alpilles, St-Rémy de Provence, Provence

MONDAY 27 JANUARY - Day Ten
Chateau des Alpilles, St-Rémy de Provence, Provence, France
Car to Marseille Airport, Marseille, Provence
Plane to Schiphol Airport, Amsterdam, Netherlands
Train to Magere Brug, Amsterdam
Boat to Scheepvaart Museum, Amsterdam
Car to Alkmaar, Netherlands
Same car to Smoker Statue, Monnickendam, Netherlands
Same car to Kasteel Muiderslot, Muiden, Netherlands

TUESDAY 28 JANUARY - Day Eleven
Extended Pitstop at Kasteel Muiderslot, Muiden, Netherlands

WEDNESDAY 29 JANUARY - Day Twelve
Kasteel Muiderslot, Muiden, Netherlands
Taxi to Schiphol Airport, Amsterdam, Netherlands
Plane to Malpensa Airport, Milan, Italy
Plane to CST Airport, Mumbai, Maharashtra, India

THURSDAY 30 JANUARY - Day Thirteen
CST Airport, Mumbai, Maharashtra, India
Taxi to Film City, Mumbai
Bicycle to Studio 10, Film City
Bus to Goregaon Train Station, Mumbai
Train to Mahalaxmi Train Station, Mumbai
Walk to Dhobi Ghat, Mumbai
Taxi to Sassoon Docks, Mumbai
Taxi to Gateway of India, Mumbai

FRIDAY 31 JANUARY - Day Fourteen
Gateway of India, Mumbai, Maharashtra, India
Walk to Taj Mahal Hotel, Mumbai
Taxi to Panvel Train Station, Panvel, Maharashtra
Train to Ernakulam Train Station, Ernakulam, Kerala

SATURDAY 1 FEBRUARY - Day Fifteen
Ernakulam Train Station, Ernakulam, Kerala, India
Taxi to Highway 47, Kerala
Taxi to Sports Field, Pallathuuthi, Kerala
Taxi to Beach Road, Alappuzha, Kerala
Bicycle Wagons to Geogi's Chicken Farm, Alappuzha
Taxi to Finishing Point, Alappuzha

SUNDAY 2 FEBRUARY - Day Sixteen
Extended Pitstop at Finishing Point, Alappuzha, Kerala, India

MONDAY 3 FEBRUARY - Day Seventeen
Finishing Point, Alappuzha, Kerala, India
Taxi to Kochi Airport, Kochi, Kerala
Taxi to PL Worldways Limited, Kochi, Kerala
Taxi to Kochi Airport, Kochi, Kerala
Plane to Kuala Lumpur Airport, Kuala Lumpur Federal Territory, Malaysia

TUESDAY 4 FEBRUARY - Day Eighteen
Kuala Lumpur Airport, Kuala Lumpur Federal Territory, Malaysia
Plane to Kota Kinabalu Airport, Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, Malaysia
Taxi to Monosopiad Cultural Village, Kota Kinabalu
Taxi to Kota Kinabalu Jetty, Kota Kinabalu
Boat to fishing boat on South China Sea, Kota Kinabalu
Same boat to fishery on South China Sea, Kota Kinabalu
Same boat to lobster boat on South China Sea, Kota Kinabalu
Same boat to Manukan Jetty, Manuakan Island, Kota Kinabalu
Walk to Manukan Beach, Manukan Island

WEDNESDAY 5 FEBRUARY - Day Nineteen
Manukan Beach, Manukan Island, Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, Malaysia
Walk to Manukan Jetty, Manuakan Island, Kota Kinabalu
Boat to Kota Kinabalu Jetty, Kota Kinabalu
Taxi to Poring Hot Springs, Poring, Sabah
Car to Sepilok Orangutan Sanctuary, Sepilok, Sabah
Same car to Sepilok Nature Resort, Sepilok
Taxi to Puu Jih Shih Temple, Sandakan, Sabah
Charter Van to Kota Kinabalu Airport, Kota Kinabalu, Sabah

THRUSDAY 6 FEBRUARY - Day Twenty
Kota Kinabalu Airport, Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, Malaysia
Plane to Changi Airport, Singapore
Plane to Incheon Airport, Seoul, South Korea

FRIDAY 7 FEBRUARY - Day Twenty-One
Incheon Airport, Seoul, South Korea
Taxi to Seoul Tower, Seoul
Taxi to Sheraton Hotel, Seoul
Taxi to Sundam Valley, Chirwon, Gangwon-Do, South Korea
Taxi to a subway station, Seoul
Subway to Seoul University Station, Seoul
Walk to octopus restaurant, Seoul
Taxi to Gyeongbokgung Palace, Seoul

SATURDAY 8 FEBRUARY - Day Twenty-Two (Thank you Miri!)
Extended Pitstop at Gyeongbokgung Palace, Seoul, South Korea

SUNDAY 9 FEBRUARY - Day Twenty-Three
Gyeongbokgung Palace, Seoul, South Korea
Taxi to Yeoido Island, Seoul
Taxi to Incheon Airport, Seoul
Plane to Brisbane Airport, Brisbane, Queensland, Australia

MONDAY 10 FEBRUARY - Day Twenty-Four
Brisbane Airport, Brisbane, Queensland, Australia
Taxi to Holiday Inn Hotel, Brisbane
Car to UnderWater World, Mooloolaba, Queensland
Same car to Mooloolaba Yacht Club, Mooloolaba

TUESDAY 11 FEBRUARY - Day Twenty-Five
Mooloolaba Yacht Club, Mooloolaba, Queensland, Australia
Car to Australian Woolshed, Ferny Hills, Queensland

WEDNESDAY 12 FEBRUARY - Day Twenty-Six
Australian Woolshed, Ferny Hills, Queensland, Australia
Same car to Brisbane Airport, Brisbane, Queensland
Plane to Cairns Airport, Cairns, Queensland
Car to Wild World Tropical Zoo, Queensland
Same car to Wangetti Beach, Queensland
Horse at Wangetti Beach
Same car to Off Road Rush, Julatten, Queensland
Car to Ellis Beach, Queensland

THRUSDAY 13 FEBRUARY - Day Twenty-Seven (Thank you EmeraldFire!)
Ellis Beach, Queensland, Australia
Car to Tjapukai Aboriginal Cultural Park, Queensland
Same car to General Aviation Centre, Cairns Airport, Cairns, Queensland
Plane to field, Cairns
Taxi to Cairns Airport, Cairns
Plane to Tokyo-Narita Airport, Tokyo, Japan
Plane to Honolulu Airport, Honolulu, Hawaii, USA

THRUSDAY 13 FEBRUARY - Day Twenty-Eight (Thank you TheSchnauzers!)
Honolulu Airport, Honolulu, Hawaii, USA
Plane to Kona Airport, Kona, Hawaii
Car to Kaulana Bay, Hawaii
Same car to Chain of Craters Rd, Hawaii Volcanoes Ntl Park, Hawaii
Same car to Hilo Airport, Hilo, Hawaii
Plane to Honolulu Airport, Honolulu, Hawaii
Plane to Sky Harbor Airport, Phoenix, Arizona, USA

FRIDAY 14 FEBRUARY - Day Twenty-Nine
Sky Harbor Airport, Phoenix, Arizona, USA
Taxi to USS Arizona Anchor, W Washington Street, Phoenix
Taxi to Sun Devils Stadium, Phoenix
Taxi to Papago Park, Phoenix
Bicycle at Papago Park, Phoenix, Arizona, USA