I leave the house at about 12:30pm to drive to my parents to drive them to Loyola Medical Center in Maywood. Dad had to see Dr. Emami, who's the chairman of the Radiation Oncology department at Loyola. Out in Hoffman Estates, it's been snowing big time - big flakes, too. On the way to my parents and on the way to Loyola, the snow was lighter and wetter. But the closer we get to the hospital, the bigger the flakes are becoming. Get there at 2:30 for a 3:00. Turns out that the big deal is not the lymph node that Dr. Bastian was concerned about. There's a mass behind the stoma that is probably cancerous. The MRI shows the mass and everyone believes it's cancer.

If dad would have gotten radiation treatment after his laryngectomy back in May, that mass would not be there. At that time, Dad didn't want to do radiation. Mom agreed. They both knew what could happen if he didn't get radiation. He was feeling good after the surgery. He didn't want to feel worse.

Now he's in trouble.

Dr. Emami wants to make sure it's cancer. He wants dad to get a needle biopsy to make sure. Dad was also supposed to get a chest x-ray, but now he'll get a chest CT instead, just to make sure the cancer didn't spread further down.

A resident (Dr. Paul Crossan) checked out dad, made sure he was OK.

The course of treatment will probably by 33-34 treatments, once a day, 5 days a week, so that'll be almost 7 weeks.

But there's a major problem: behind the mass is dad's spinal column. The spinal column can only handle about 25 treatments. It's going to be difficult to monitor - radiation treatments take weeks to actually work - (there's actually a delayed reaction to the radiation), so it's going to be tricky. Really tricky. And this won't be a cure. It's too late for that. It'll give him a bit over 2 years. If he doesn't get it, the mass will continue to grow, eventually cutting off his windpipe.

DAMN.

Wow, really started to snow... I gotta get going to pick up my parents... there're salt trucks going through the neighborhood. Damn! It's Wednesday and the crows have found our garbage AGAIN, like they do every week when we put it out for pickup...

Second good night's sleep. Carol said that I'm not snoring as much as I used to. Coincidence?

We're supposed to get 3" of snow this afternoon. I'm driving my parents to see dad's radiologist this afternoon. I'm not looking forward to the drive. I'm not looking forward to going to Loyola's Cancer center. There's a lot of dread here. I just don't know what to say or put into words. It's a bit scary. It's a bit of reality coming up from the darkness and slapping you in the face. I'm not looking forward to this...