This collection of entries is from December 15, 2002.
Carol & I go over to my parents' house just about every weekend. It's a nice way to keep in touch - Diane is almost always over as well. We don't feel too guilty for having our own lives and having to skip a weekend because of other commitments. This week, though, is different. We're getting into the Christmas season with heavy hearts and skirting a real big issue. This will be Dad's last Christmas. I really felt it this week. This was the first dinner we've had where Dad wasn't at the dinner table with us - he took his dinner in the back room, in front of the TV. He's having this really odd problem that I've talked about before - he can't keep some of the food he eats "down". It seems to come up (and for you squeamish people out there - jump to the next sentence) out his nose. The hospice nurse (and I think doctor as well) believe that the massive infection/abscess that he had in his neck a few months ago may have formed a "pouch" that's collecting some of the food he's swallowing, so this thing he's experiencing isn't acid reflux. The major downside to this is that, though he's hungry and wants to eat, this condition is making eating extremely difficult. He's losing weight. Fast. I really noticed it this week. He's so much thinner. It's putting a strain on my Mom and I can't imagine what Christmas is going to be like. It's scary and disturbing and we just don't really talk about it. In our family, if you don't talk about it then you don't have to face it. At least you don't face it in "public". But you sure do face it when you are alone...