This collection of entries is from January 07, 2007.
I recorded all of the events of my party last night, dinner, cake, gifts.
I transfered the files off my iRiver this morning, and listened to it...
I listened to dead air... hours and hours of dead air... I had cabled the in and out of the mic preamp backward, and it didn't record a single thing.
Even though I wanted to use pieces on my podcast, I really just wanted it for myself... a record of people coming out and being with me, celebrating my birhday...
...and GOD did his hit me hard. Suddenly, the new year felt a thousand times worse... I wanted a copy of a part of my life, and I lost it... and then - I lost it. I actually started to cry... well, bawl actually. It was just another log on the fire... and the sense of loss was just so real to me... a recording of a one-time-only event, never to be reproduced. Gone. Only to be locked away in my brain, as a memory that lately seems to fade all too quickly. Maybe that's why I wanted the recording... a a backup to my failing memory.
It hurts.
It hurts really bad.