Big Brother 6 ended with Maggie winning. I got really turned-off by the casting this year. I'm tired of people that are just a bit too young in this game. I'm tired at how "divisive" they're tried to cast (and were pretty damn successful about it). The damn house got split in two, and I know a lot of people out there hated the "Friendship Alliance", but the "Sovereign Six" had people (Howie and Jenelle specifically) that had horrendous personalities - evidenced on how everyone reacted to the Kaysar eviction. The hateful vile that poured out of those two sealed it for me. The game isn't about that crap and once that happened, I lost interest in the show.

The show that I got interested in (and didn't expect to) was Rock Star: INXS. American Idol? Piece of crap next to this. Forget the crappy weeks of watching those goddamned auditions. These people that competed auditioned off camera and came there to rock. It was only Rock-and-Roll songs for each night's performances.Between producer Mark Burnett, based on his name alone, and the band itself, who worked tirelessly on this, they team was able to procure rights to rock songs never before performed on commercial TV. Quality songs performed by quality singers with a quality house band in front of a live quality audience. And not only that, but the winner doesn't get some record deal that may have them fading into oblivion. The winner becomes lead singer in a band that's been together for over 20 years and is well known. The performance were even made available for download through MSN music at the show's website. Just an all-around quality show. Live. Energetic. Rocked.

Unfortunately, hometown boy Marty Casey didn't make it and JD Fortune did. (Though the band wants to talk to Marty about possibly being the opening act on their tour. Cool runner-up privileges.)

I'd love to see this show again, but that doesn't make any sense - you can't do it with the same band because the whole idea was to find a replacement for Michael Hutchence and go forward as a band. They'd have to use a different band, but I can't imagine who that would be.

Then we have one straggler that won't go quietly into that dark night - "Dancing with the Stars: Dance-off". Yes that great little series that caught a lot of people by surprise and pissed-off a lot of them at the end came back tonight with a dance-off to prove who the winner will be (champion Kelly Monaco and her professional dance partner, Alec Mazo, went up against runner-up John O'Hurley and his professional partner Charlotte Jorgensen.) We won't know until Thursday who "won", though...

It's Rockstar: INXS - a show where 15 people with rock backgrounds basically audition to become the lead singer of INXS, tour with them for a year and cut an album with them (it's still nebulous to me if the gig is a one-time/one-year thing, or could it be permanent depending on the chemistry)

It has all the good stuff about American Idol without the sugar coating and without the godawful weeks of showing the crappy auditions.

There ain't no crappy auditions. These 15 people come in experienced and capable. There's also one focus: Rock. You don't variation here as you do in American Idol. That's not the purpose of the show. It's all rock and roll, baby. And I like it.

Each week there are 3 shows.

The first show is the "Reality" show part, as all 15 people are living together in a huge house in the Hollywood Hills. It shows them living together, rehearsing songs, and interacting. To me, insightful bu ho-hum.

The second show is the "Performance" show. Previously, the contestants were given a classic rock song to sing (depending where they are in the process, they get to pick the song out of the bunch). They rehearse wit ha house band (called... wait for it... The House Band). On Performance Night, they perform with the house band at the Mayan Theater with a live audience and, more importantly, in front of INXS. At the end of their performance, INXS (oh, an host Dave Navarro) critique their work. At the end of the night, the viewing audience votes (via Verizon cell phone or via website on who they liked the best.

The third show is the "Elimination" show. Based on viewer voting, the bottom three people (i.e. the 3 people with the least number of votes), now have to sing an assigned INXS song. This allows INXS to see how the performer handles the band's work. The performer is critiqued again by the band and Dave. At the end of the night, INXS decides who will leave. Their elimination slogan: "You're just night right for our band, INXS". (Not as good a "the tribe has spoken" or "You're fired", but still till the point and re-emphasizes that it may be a public competition, but INXS still says who stays and who goes.)

So, tomorrow the contestants are whittled down to three. Our favorite is home-town boy Marty Casey. Our other favorite is MiG, and we like Suzie as well (even though I can't imagine an established rock band that's had a male singer all its life would be comfortable changing to a female lead singer). Our least favorite is J.D., who's been kissing ass ever since day one, because he really wants to be in the band... and may be doing a few things just for the band... but I always question if they're sincere or not or just a way to get closer to them.

The finale - one week from tonight.

Update: So long, Sweet Suzie McNeil. Next week's finale is between Marty (who was NOT in the final three this week), MiG (who was in the final three for the very first time), and ... J.D.

CBS UNVEILS THE IDENTITIES OF THE 10 FAMILIES COMPETING IN "THE AMAZING RACE: FAMILY EDITION"

Eighth Installment of the Emmy Award-Winning Series Begins With A Special Two-Hour Premiere on Tuesday, September 27, 9:00-11:00 PM, ET/PT

The Amazing Race: Family Edition Moves To Its Regular Tuesday, 9:00-10:00 PM Time Period Beginning October 4

CBS today announced the identities of the 10 families set to compete in THE AMAZING RACE: FAMILY EDITION. For the first time ever, the Emmy Award-winning reality adventure series will feature teams of four instead of two, comprised of family members. The 10 teams of families will compete against one another in a race around the world for a $1 million prize. THE AMAZING RACE: FAMILY EDITION will begin with a special two-hour premiere on Tuesday, Sept. 27 (9:00-11:00 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network.

THE AMAZING RACE: FAMILY EDITION will be broadcast regularly on Tuesdays (9:00-10:00 PM, ET/PT) beginning Oct. 4.

THE AMAZING RACE has won two consecutive Emmy Awards for Best Reality Program is currently nominated for a third time.

Following are the 10 families, listed in no particular order:

TEAM: GODLEWSKI SISTERS

Michelle (42)
Sharon (39)
Christine (37)
Tricia (26)

Hometown: Des Plaines, Ill.

TEAM: WEAVER FAMILY (WIDOW AND KIDS)

Linda (46)
Rebecca (19)
Rachel (16)
Rolly (14) - Male

Hometown: Ormond Beach, Fla.

TEAM: GAGHAN FAMILY

Bill (40)
Tammy (42)
Billy (12)
Carissa (9)

Hometown: Glastonbury, Conn.

TEAM: BLACK FAMILY

Reggie (42)
Kim (40)
Kenneth (11)
Austin (8)

Hometown: Woodbridge, Va.

TEAM: LINZ FAMILY (SIBLINGS)

Nick (24) – Currently resides in Buffalo, N.Y.
Alex (22)
Megan (21)
Tommy (19)

Hometown: Cincinnati

TEAM: ROGERS FAMILY

Denny (46)
Renee (42)
Brittney (22)
Brock (19)

Hometown: Shreveport, La.

TEAM: SCHROEDER FAMILY (DAD, STEPMOM AND KIDS)

Mark (40)
Char (39)
Stassi (16)
Hunter (14)

Hometown: New Orleans

TEAM: BRANSEN FAMILY (DAD AND DAUGHTERS)

Walter (51)
Elizabeth (25)
Lauren (22)
Lindsay (20)

Hometown: Park Ridge, Ill.

TEAM: AIELLO FAMILY (FATHER AND SONS-IN-LAW)

Tony (57)
Kevin (31)
Matt ( 31)
David (26) – Currently resides in North Providence, R.I.

Hometown: Mansfield, Mass.

TEAM: PAOLO FAMILY

Tony (52)
Marion (52)
DJ (24) - Male
Brian (16)

Hometown: Carmel, N.Y.

THE AMAZING RACE: FAMILY EDITION features 10 teams -- each comprised of four family members -- on a trek around the world for approximately 30 days. At every destination, each team will have to compete in a series of challenges -- some mental and some physical -- and only when the tasks have been completed will they learn their next destination. Teams who are farthest behind will gradually be eliminated as the contest progresses, with the first team to arrive at the final destination winning $1 million.

Jerry Bruckheimer, Bertram van Munster, Jonathan Littman and Hayma Screech Washington are the executive producers for Bruckheimer Television and Earthview Inc. in association with Touchstone Television and Amazing Race Productions. Amy Chacon and Evan Weinstein are co-executive producers. THE AMAZING RACE was created by Bertram van Munster and Elise Doganieri.

For more information on THE AMAZING RACE: FAMILY EDITION and the new 10 teams of families log on to www.cbs.com.

CBS ANNOUNCES 16 NEW CASTAWAYS FOR "SURVIVOR: GUATEMALA -- The Maya Empire"

Former NFL Quarterback Gary Hogeboom Among The New Castaways Set To Compete When The Eleventh Installment Of The Hit Television Series Premieres on Thursday, September 15

CBS today announced 16 new castaways to compete in SURVIVOR: GUATEMALA -- The Maya Empire. The castaways will begin their adventure with a grueling 11 mile hike through the jungle when the eleventh installment of the Emmy Award-winning hit series premieres Thursday, Sept. 15 (8:00-9:00 PM, ET/PT), on the CBS Television Network.

SURVIVOR: GUATEMALA -- The Maya Empire takes place amid the ancient Mayan ruins and ceremonial sites (some as many as 2,000 years old) located in the northern area of Guatemala. Amid the excruciating triple-digit heat, crocodile infested waters, relentless mosquitoes and terrifying sounds of the howler monkeys, these new castaways will attempt to "Outwit, Outplay and Outlast" in hopes of winning the $1 million prize and title of "Ultimate Survivor." In addition to the grueling overnight hike, the castaways will be faced with two additional surprises in the first episode that will dramatically impact how they play the game.

Castaways that will be competing in SURVIVOR: GUATEMALA -- The Maya Empire (in alphabetical order) are:

BRANDON BELLINGER
22
Manhattan, Kan.
Farmer/Rancher

DANNI BOATWRIGHT
30
Tonganoxie, Kan.
Sports Radio Talk Show Host

MARGARET BOBONICH
43
Chardon, Ohio
Family Nurse Practitioner

BRIAN CORRIDAN
22
New York City (originally from New Milford, Conn.)
Ivy League Student

CINDY HALL
31
Naples, Fla.
Zoo Keeper

GARY HOGEBOOM
46 (turns 47 on August 21)
Grand Haven, Mich.
Ex-NFL Quarterback/Real Estate Developer

RAFE JUDKINS
22
Providence, R.I. (originally from Pittsburgh)
Ivy League Student

JIM LYNCH
63
Northglenn, Colo.
Retired Fire Captain

MORGAN McDEVITT
21
Decatur, Ill.
Magician's Assistant/Waitress

LYDIA MORALES
42
Lakewood, Wash. (originally from Okinawa)
Fishmonger

JAMIE NEWTON
24
N. Hollywood, Calif. (originally from Douglas, Ga.)
Water Ski Instructor

AMY O'HARA
39
Revere, Mass.
Police Sergeant

JUDD SERGEANT
34 (turns 35 on September 13)
Ridgefield, N.J.
Hotel Doorman

BROOKE STRUCK
26
Santa Monica, Calif. (originally from Hood River, Ore.)
Law Student

BLAKE TOWSLEY
24
Dallas, Texas
Commercial Real Estate Broker/Model

BRIANNA VARELA
21 (turns 22 on Oct. 29)
Edmonds, Wash.
Retail Sales/Make-Up Artist

SURVIVOR: GUATEMALA -- The Maya Empire is produced by SEG, Inc. Mark Burnett and Tom Shelly are the executive producers.

For more detailed information on SURVIVOR: GUATEMALA -- The Maya Empire and the castaways, log on to www.cbs.com/survivor.

CBS.COM: THE ULTIMATE DESTINATION FOR "BIG BROTHER 6"

CBS's Official Website to Offer "Big Brother" Viewers a Wide Array of Bonus Features to Supplement and Enhance CBS's Three Weekly Broadcasts

For the First Time, A Head of Household Blog Will Provide Insight Into Life in the "Big Brother" House

Also New, The Head of Household Will Be Rewarded With a Digital Camera With Pictures Posted On CBS.com

CBS and RealNetworks Bring "Big Brother 6" to the Internet With 24/7 Live Video Channel For the Fifth Consecutive Year

"House Calls: The Big Brother Talk Show" Returns For Its Second Season

Interactive "Big Brother Fantasy League" Offers Fans A Chance to Compete for Prizes

CBS.com, CBS's official website, will offer BIG BROTHER viewers a wide array of programming and bonus features this summer to supplement and enhance the Network's three weekly broadcasts, including for the first time a Head of Household Blog, in which a BIG BROTHER houseguest communicates directly to BIG BROTHER fans through CBS.com. BIG BROTHER 6 premieres on the CBS Television Network on Thursday, July 7 (8:00-9:00PM, ET/PT).

"This summer, CBS.com is going all out to provide BIG BROTHER fans the broadest and most exciting companion experience we've ever offered," said Larry Kramer, President, CBS Digital Media. "From the 24/7 live Internet feed to the new blog to the daily talk show, BIG BROTHER viewers will have unparalleled access to activities in the BIG BROTHER house and a new level of involvement with the show."

New to the BIG BROTHER Internet experience is the Head of Household Blog, where fans will be able to read first hand accounts from each week's Head of Household on life in the BIG BROTHER house and what it's like to be under the constant gaze of dozens of cameras and viewed live on the Internet.

CBS.com will also provide a digital camera to the Head of Household with the pictures to posted on CBS.com along with their Blog.

CBS.com also announced the return of two other popular features: HOUSE CALLS: THE BIG BROTHER TALK SHOW and the interactive BIG BROTHER Fantasy League.

Returning for its second season, HOUSE CALLS: THE BIG BROTHER TALK SHOW is a no-charge, half-hour, streaming video daily talk show about the summer reality series seen every Monday through Friday (1:00 PM/ET, 10:00 AM/PT) on CBS.com.

HOUSE CALLS is hosted by Marcellas Reynolds, a houseguest from "Big Brother 3," and Gretchen Massey, an on-air host of "The Gretchen Massey Show," which is broadcast Sunday nights on Infinity Radio's KLSX-FM Los Angeles. The two hosts interact with viewers through phone calls and e-mails, discuss events that transpire in the BIG BROTHER house, offer prognostications, analyze strategies and interview former BIG BROTHER houseguests as well as current houseguests following their eviction.

Also returning is the "BIG BROTHER Fantasy League" game where fans compete for prizes based on the events that transpire in the house.

The official BIG BROTHER website at CBS.com will also include detailed summaries of all the events that happen during each televised broadcast, a live 24/7 chat room, popularity and opinion polls, a virtual tour of the BIG BROTHER house, descriptions of the week's challenges, voting history pages, photo galleries and a houseguest section with complete profiles.

For the fifth consecutive season, CBS and RealNetworks®, Inc. (Nasdaq: RNWK), a global leader in network-delivered digital media, have joined forces to provide exclusive 24/7 live video channel from inside the BIG BROTHER 6 house. The webcast coverage debuts immediately following the premiere of BIG BROTHER 6 on July 7 (8:00-9:00PM, ET/PT), and will be accessible through the official BIG BROTHER 6 website at CBS.com and through the RealNetworks' Superpass™ subscription service website at www.real.com/bigbrother.

Subscribers to the 24/7 video stream can watch any one of four live camera feeds from inside the BIG BROTHER 6 house or catch all of the action at once with the special quad-cam view which allows fans to see four different video feeds simultaneously. Subscribers will also have access to an exclusive, subscribers-only web chat that will allow fans from across the country to converse about what they are seeing live on the feeds.

The entire three-month live 24/7 internet feed of BIG BROTHER 6 is available through RealNetworks' SuperPass subscription service, or fans may subscribe to receive the three-month broadcast for $29.99 or pay $12.99 per month with a free trial for everyone who signs up.

CBS/Endemol Entertainment will provide the content from the house, while RealNetworks' content delivery division, Real Broadcast Network, will deliver the 24/7 live streaming webcast feed.

To preserve the drama for BIG BROTHER 6 television viewers, CBS may block or delay the webcast for a limited number of real-time events that transpire in the house.

BIG BROTHER 6 will be broadcast three times a week on Tuesday (9:00-10:00 PM, ET/PT), Thursday (8:00-9:00 PM, ET/PT) and Saturday (8:00-9:00 PM, ET/PT).

Arnold Shapiro and Allison Grodner are the executive producers of BIG BROTHER 6 for Shapiro/Grodner Productions, in association with Endemol Entertainment.

About CBS.com
CBS.com, the official website of the CBS Television Network, has become the top web destination among all Network television websites. CBS.com has been the most trafficked website among its Entertainment competitors with more unique visitors every month for the past two years. With its proven success of intersecting traditional television with new media, CBS.com attracted a record high of more than 12 million unique visitors in May 2004 as a result of the "Survivor: All Stars" finale and online voting for America's Tribal Council. Home to the official websites for all CBS television series, CBS.com's notable sites include "Survivor," "CSI" and "CSI: Miami," "Big Brother," "The Amazing Race" and "Late Show with David Letterman."

About RealNetworks
RealNetworks, Inc. is a leading creator of digital media services and software including the award-winning Rhapsody® Internet jukebox service and RealPlayer® 10, the first product to integrate finding, organizing, buying, playing and managing digital audio and video in a single product. Consumers can access and experience audio/video programming and download RealNetworks' consumer software at http://www.real.com. Broadcasters, network operators, media companies and enterprises use RealNetworks' products and services to create and deliver digital media to PCs, mobile phones and consumer electronics devices. RealNetworks' systems and corporate information is located at http://www.realnetworks.com.

CBS AND REALNETWORKS TO OFFER EXCLUSIVE 24/7 LIVE VIDEO CHANNEL OF “BIG BROTHER 6”

LOS ANGELES and SEATTLE, July 6, 2005 – CBS and RealNetworks®, Inc. (NASDAQ: RNWK), the leading creator of digital media services and software, today announced that they will offer an exclusive live video channel from the “Big Brother 6” house 24 hours a day that allows fans to watch houseguest activity in real time, much of which never appears on TV. The webcast, which premieres Thursday, July 7, immediately follows the East Coast broadcast of the show at 8:00-9:00PM, ET/PT and will be accessible through the official “Big Brother 6” website at www.CBS.com and through RealNetworks’ SuperPass™ subscription service website at www.real.com/bigbrother.

Fans can choose either a discounted three month subscription of $29.99 or a monthly subscription of $12.99 per month with a free trial for everyone who signs up. Subscribers to the 24/7 video stream can watch any one of four live camera feeds from inside the “Big Brother 6” house or catch all of the action at once with the special quad-cam view which allows fans to see four different video feeds simultaneously.

“‘The Big Brother 6’ live webcast with RealNetworks has become immensely popular as fans can check-in on the houseguests at anytime and see the action unfold,” said Brinley Turner, Vice President and General Manager, CBS.com. “Whether used as a companion to the prime time series or as live theatre in its own right, it’s a unique Internet experience that further connects the fan to the show.”

“Big Brother 6’ online demonstrates how the Internet and TV industries can work together to create a richer experience for consumers,” said Dan Sheeran, Senior Vice President, Premium Consumer Services, RealNetworks. “Online subscribers will enjoy ‘Big Brother 6’ on TV that much more by following the 24/7 action and connecting online with their fellow fans.”

“Big Brother 6” follows a group of people living together in a new house specially built for this edition and outfitted with 47 cameras and 78 microphones, the most in “Big Brother” history, recording their every move, 24 hours a day. One by one, the houseguests will vote each other out of the house. At the end of three months, the last remaining houseguest will receive the grand prize. In a new twist this year, each houseguest is paired with a secret partner from the outside world and the final houseguest will win $1,000,000, the biggest cash prize in “Big Brother” history, if they complete the game with their teammate. If the twosome does not make it to the final two, the winner will win $500,000.

“Big Brother” 24/7 is a member benefit of SuperPass which also includes news and entertainment video, free music downloads, free game downloads premium online radio with over 70 ad-free music stations, Real® PhotoVideo for sharing personal photos and video clips, and more.

To preserve the drama for “Big Brother 6” television viewers, CBS may block or delay the webcast for a limited number of real-time events that transpire in the house. Other components of the official “Big Brother 6” website will include detailed summaries of all the events that happen during each televised broadcast, a live 24/7 chat room, an interactive “Big Brother Fantasy League” game, popularity polls, opinion polls, a virtual tour of the “Big Brother” house, descriptions of the week’s challenges, voting history pages, photo galleries and a houseguest section with complete profiles.

ABOUT CBS.COM
CBS.com, the official website of the CBS Television Network, has become the top web destination among all Network television websites. CBS.com has been the most trafficked website among its Entertainment competitors with more unique visitors every month for the past two years. With its proven success of intersecting traditional television with new media, CBS.com attracted a record high of more than 12 million unique visitors in May 2004 as a result of the "Survivor: All Stars" finale and online voting for America's Tribal Council. Home to the official websites for all CBS television series, CBS.com's notable sites include "Survivor," "CSI" and "CSI: Miami," "Big Brother," "The Amazing Race" and "Late Show with David Letterman."

ABOUT REALNETWORKS
RealNetworks, Inc. is the leading creator of digital media services and software including the award-winning Rhapsody® Internet jukebox service and RealPlayer®10, the first product to integrate finding, organizing, buying, playing and managing digital audio and video in a single product. Consumers can access and experience audio/video programming and download RealNetworks' consumer software at http://www.real.com. Broadcasters, network operators, media companies and enterprises use RealNetworks' products and services to create and deliver digital media to PCs, mobile phones and consumer electronics devices. RealNetworks' systems and corporate information is located at http://www.realnetworks.com.

CBS REVEALS THE IDENTITIES OF THE 14 NEW HOUSEGUESTS COMPETING IN "BIG BROTHER 6"

Sixth Installment of Series Premieres on Thursday, July 7th on the CBS Television Network

All New "Big Brother 6" Twist Revealed

Houseguests Will Move into a Brand-New Home and Location

Julie Chen Returns as Host

CBS announced today the identities of the 14 houseguests who will compete in BIG BROTHER 6, as well as the new creative twist that will play out during the summer broadcasts.

This is the BIG BROTHER 6 Summer of Secrets. There are secrets in the house, secrets in the game, and this summer -- every houseguest has a secret.

For the first time, every houseguest will be entering the house and playing the game with a secret partner -- someone they know from the outside world. Friends, co-workers and significant others will play the Big Brother game as secret duos. The twist is that each secret team believes that they are the only pair in the house (pairings will be revealed to TV viewers during the first live broadcast on July 14). Each twosome knows that if they can keep their secret and end up being the last two people in the house, the winner will win $1,000,000, the biggest cash prize in Big Brother history, with the second place finisher winning $250,000. If a twosome does not make it to the final two, the winner will win $500,000.

"Big Brother" follows a group of people living together in a house outfitted with dozens of cameras and microphones recording their every move 24 hours a day. One by one, the houseguests will vote each other out of the house. At the end of three months, the last remaining houseguest will receive the grand prize.

This season, houseguests will move into a brand-new two-story home, including a built-in pool and Jacuzzi in the backyard. Like the contestants that will inhabit it, the new house is also full of secrets and surprises that will be unveiled throughout the summer.

BIG BROTHER 6 debuts on Thursday, July 7 (8:00-9:00 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network. Following the premiere, BIG BROTHER 6 will be broadcast each week on Tuesdays (9:00-10:00 PM, ET/PT), Thursdays (8:00-9:00 PM, live ET/delayed PT) and Saturdays (8:00-9:00 PM, ET/PT). The Thursday broadcast, hosted by Julie Chen, will feature the live eviction of one of the houseguests.

Following are the 14 houseguests, listed across in alphabetical order, who will compete in BIG BROTHER 6:

Maggie Ausburn, 26
Las Vegas, NV
Single
Emergency Room Nurse

Beau Beasley, 25
Pembroke Pines, FL
Single
Personal Shopper

Ivette Corredero, 25
Miami Beach, FL
Single
Waitress

Michael Donnellan, 28
Orange County, CA
Single
Artist

Ashlea Evans, 22
Plantation, FL
Single
Fashion Design Student

Howie Gordon, 34
Chicago, IL
Single
Meteorology Student

Sarah Hrejsa, 22
Chicago, IL
Single
Retail Manager

April Lewis, 30
Dallas, TX
Newlywed
Pharmaceutical Sales Rep.

Eric Littmann, 36
Boston, MA
Married Dad
Firefighter

Janelle Pierzina, 25
Miami Beach, FL
Single
VIP Cocktail Waitress

Rachel Plencner, 33
Parker, CO
Single
Horse Breeder

James Rhine, 29
Atlanta, GA
Single
Loss Prevention Manager

Kaysar Ridha, 24
Irvine, CA
Single
Graphic Designer

Jennifer Vasquez, 27
Plano, TX
Single
Arena Football League Dancer

BIG BROTHER 6 is produced by Arnold Shapiro & Allison Grodner Productions, in association with Endemol U.S.A.

• Adam Malis, 27, personal trainer, Los Angeles; Rebecca Cardon, 29, personal trainer, Los Angeles (formerly dating)
• Avi Schneier, 32, high school teacher, New York City; Joe Rashbaum, 32, advertising-agency owner, Ventura, California (high school friends)
• Don St. Clare, 69, physician, Portola Valley, California; Mary Jean St. Clare, 66, interior designer, Portola Valley, California (married 20 years)
• Freddy Holliday, 34, pilot-model, Miami; Kendra Bentley, 25, model, Miami (engaged)
• Gus McLeod, 50, former CIA agent, Gaithersburg, Maryland; Hera McLeod, 24, special-education teacher, Los Angeles (father/daughter)
• Hayden Kristianson, 25, model-actor, Los Angeles; Aaron Crumbaugh, 25, model-actor, Los Angeles (dating)
• Jonathan Baker, 42, entrepreneur, Los Angeles; Victoria Fuller, 32, model-artist, Los Angeles (married)
• Kris Perkins, 30, student-waitress, Long Beach, California; Jon Buehler, 29, restaurant partner, Scottsdale, Arizona (long-distance dating)
• Lena Jensen, 23, student, Pleasant Grove, Utah; Kristy Jensen, 26, model, Pleasant Grove, Utah (sisters)
• Lori Harvey, 33, professional wrestler, Molino, Florida; Bolo Dar'Tainian, 38, professional wrestler, Molino, Florida (married)
• Meredith Tufaro, 26, licensing manager, New York; Maria Sampogna, 26, registered sales assistant, New York (best friends)

Big Brother has been our Guilty Pleasure Of Summer since it started in 2000. What we enjoy so much more than the packaged shows that CBS airs is the live Internet feeds. It allows anyone with a Real Networks player to watch up to 4 different feeds live from the house 24/7... or thereabouts. The voyeur aspect of the feeds is unbelievable. Depending on who is up and what is going on, Carol and I could watch the house for hours. This year's crop of people weren't too bad, though they weren't the best we've seen over the years. We so addicted, we have a computer connected to our Sony 27" TV so we can watch with ease - the audio going out through the stereo system.

Anyway, it's over for the year. The winner this year - Drew Daniel of Urbana, Ohio gets over Michael "Cowboy" Ellis of Durant, Oklahoma.

Then, my favorite multiple-award-winning reality show - The Amazing Race - ended tonight as well. Tonight's show seemed like it was the most physical legs at the end of a race since the show started. Anyway, due to fog and luck, Chip & Kim McAllister wound up as the winners on The Amazing Bathmat in Dallas.

Fortunately, Amazing Race 6 will be starting in just a few weeks!

A team that was likely part of The Amazing Race 6, which is taping this month, was spotted in Chicago on Friday. As the show typically concludes in the US, and since it's late in the month, that suggests Chicago is either the final destination or a stopover in on the way to the final city in the US. Mike in Chicago writes:

Looks like TAR 6 may end in Chicago. On Friday Aug 13, I saw them running down Adams St, towards the Sears tower. ... I saw a team of 2 females, with a camera crew of two (one camera, one mic guy). The girls had on their fanny packs with the yellow/red marker/flag on them. It was about a second after they passed me by that I realized they were Amazing Race people.

Based on when TAR 6 airs, this is likely the end of the race, not the start. Unless Chicago is the first stop back in the USA, before they go to the final US city. Either way, looks like Chicago is part of the final TAR 6 episode!

• Julie Berry, 23, a youth mentor from Gorham, Maine
  
• Chad Crittenden, 35, a teacher from Oakland, Calif. (Chad is an amputee, losing part of his leg to cancer)
  
• Ami Cusack, 31, a barista (coffee server) and model from Lakewood, Colo.
  
• Chris Daugherty, 33, who works in highway construction, from South Vienna, Ohio
  
• Brady Finta, 33, an FBI agent who was formerly in the military service, from Huntington Beach, Calif.
  
• Rory Freeman, 35, a housing case manager from Des Moines, Iowa
  
• Mia Galeotalanza, 30, a finance manager from Tom’s River, N.J.
  
• Brook Geraghty, 27, a project manager from Boston
  
• Lisa Keiffer, 44, a real estate agent from New Orleans
  
• John Kenney, 22, a mechanical bull operator and model from Los Angeles
  
• Scout Cloud Lee, 59, a rancher and entrepreneur from Stillwater, Okla.
  
• Lea "Sarge" Masters, 40, a drill sergeant who lives in Columbia, S.C.
  
• Dolly Neely, 25, a sheep farmer from Mercer, Pa.
  
• Eliza Orlins, 21, a pre-law student from Syracuse, N.Y.
  
• John Palyok, 31, of Los Angeles is a sales manager at a Home Depot.
  
• Travis "Bubba" Sampson, 33, of Johnson City, Tenn., works in loss prevention.
  
• Leann Slaby, 35, a research assistant from Kansasville, Wis.
  
• Twila Tanner, 41, of Marshall, Mo., who works in highway repair
  

After a very stupid "Dumb and Dumber" POV meeting earlier in the week, where Jase won POV and took himself off, the nominees are now Marvin and Scott. In the strategically correct move, Scott is voted out 4-3.

The main event of the show, however, was the Twin Twist. (Wanna see the segment? I have a copy of it here as a DIVX AVI - be warned it's 36Mb)

With all of the houseguests in the living room, Julie Chen asked Diane a question: How many houseguests have played the game this year? Diane answers 13 and Julie tells here that the answer is incorrect - there have been 14. Everybody looks confused and Julie continues to remind the houseguests that the them this year is "Do Not Assume" and that one of the housemates has been playing the game with their identical twin. Drew and Diane, who both have twins, seem to be saying it's not them. Cowboy blurts out "It's Holly." (WTF? As a side note, the houseguests for the next couple of days, continue to talk about Holly and her "twin" and about the numerous times when she changed the way she acted while in the house. I have no freaking idea where this came from...) Even after Julie says that the twins have actually changed places 10 times, Cowboy is still convinced it's Holly. Throughout this, Adria is looking as confused as everyone else. Julie tells the group that the twins' goal was not to be discovered or evicted for 5 weeks. Tonight, they have reached their goal. Now the houseguests are thinking through this. Jase thinks that Scott has a twin (but, of course, that wouldn't fit with what Julie just said).

Natalie walks into the house through the Diary Room door and place goes nuts (It turns out Adria never talked about being an identical twin). What is most priceless is the look on Jase's face - he had just lost Scott, so his alliance was short one key person, and now another person enters the game - and they're not on Jase's side. You could just see how screwed he knew he was.

Anyway, HOH competition nets Jennifer as the winner, just about sealing Jase's fate in the house.

The winner of the reality show's annual you-get-to-leave-the-house-for-a-while challenge will step out of the "Big Brother" set and onto the set of "The Young and The Restless," CBS' long-running daytime serial. The contestant will share a scene in the Genoa City Athletic Club with "Y&R" stars Michelle Stafford and Christian LeBlanc.

Clip show - nothing earth shattering if you watch the live feeds. They are so screwed this week for food. Imagine one whole week of just: Milk, yogurt, sausage, bacon, and seafood. That's it. You're probably better off on PB&J.

Marvin nominated Lori & Holly for eviction. That may change with the POV.

In a unanimous vote, Mike is the first person evicted from the Big Brother 5 house. After playing a Majority Rules game, Marvin becomes the new HOH.

Well, we now know the new twist: Yes, Adria has a twin Natalie. Since Day Two, they have been trading places inside the house, playing as one person - Adria. Their 4th trade was shown live during tonight's show. The twin outside the house is also sequestered from the outside world, but does not see what's happening in the house. The Twist? If no one finds out by Week 5, both twins can play the game as individuals at the same time, thus earning the twin the right to go after the money.

Nothing really new in the house. Mike and Jennifer are still nominated for eviction. Scott wins Power of Veto (POV) and leaves the nominations as they are.

I've been watching the live feeds on and off lately. I have to say that I'm loving this group of people. They actually talk about things, want to stay active instead of taking afternoon naps.

It sound like there was some twin swapping over the weekend - Adria accidentally referred to herself as Natalie, her sister's name. Then, a diligent live feed capturer over at TV Clubhouse actually got a screen grab of the two of them together in the Diary Room. So I guess it's safe to say that at least one set of twins have been playing in the house... Take a look at the pictures of them at their website, The Fitness Twins!

Normally a Thursday live show, but it's all clips today since the houseguests have actually been in the house since the 30th of June. The houseguests won a Margarita building challenge to get their hottub unlocked. Yea. Project DNA unravels a little bit as Michael figures-out that Jennifer (aka Nokomis) is his half-sister, and proceeds to tell his posse before her tells her. It all goes down in a meeting that they call for the whole house in the living room, after which Big Brother calls the newly-found half siblings to the diary room to receive letters from their biological father, which they read to the house. It's interesting that there are people in the house that, even after the letters, don't believe the event at all.

In the first Nomination Ceremony of the season, HOH Jase nominates Mike and Jennifer.

A new crop of hamsters are back in the house! I can't talk much about the show, because I haven't formed any opinions yet. Well, that's not true. Lori made a stupid move by taking $10,000 cash and forcing the house to eat peanut butter & jelly in the very first challenge. Bad move. Oh, and Holly? Ditzy! She should go soon so we don't have to listen to her...

The house was also shown on Entertainment Tonight. The house layout is identical to all of the years prior, just re-vamped. The three bedrooms have themes: The Wood Room has 3 single beds (it's the open area near the Diary Room), The Cloud Room has 2 double beds and windows that open-up into the Wood Room., but the windows are actually liquid crystal and can be "glazed" just by flipping a switch. The last bedroom is the Cement Bedroom. Yes, everything is made of concrete, including the beds which have only a thin camping mattress pad on them! (It sleeps 4). This is the bedroom next to the bathroom, which looks the same.

The dining room looks the same. Between the dining room and living room, where there used to be bar stools and a ledge is now a fish tank. Actually, it's a shark tank as there's a few baby sharks in there. The living room couches are of course different, much squarer, with two green pieces for the nominees to sit in.

The Kitchen is larger, now with an island with chairs, a full size side-by-side refrigerator with ice & water dispenser, and it looks like multiple ovens.

The door to the backyard has been replaced with a sliding patio door. and it's further down as the kitchen is actually a bit bigger due to the new appliances).

The backyard still has the pool but has lost the basketball court. In it's place is a putting green. There's also two hammocks instead of one and a kick boxing station.

Now, the cast:

• Name: Adria Okins
  
  Age: 30
  
  Occupation: Web Designer
  
  Hometown: Birmingham, Ala.
• Name: Lori Valenti
  
  Age: 26
  
  Occupation: Yoga Instructor
  
  Hometown: Boston
• Name: Karen O'Neil Ganci
  
  Age: 30
  
  Occupation: Portrait Artist
  
  Hometown: Saddle Brook, N.J.
• Name: Jennifer Dedmon
  
  Age: 21
  
  Occupation: Restaurant Hostess
  
  Hometown: San Antonio
• Name: Diane Henry
  
  Age: 22
  
  Occupation: Cocktail Waitress
  
  Hometown: Burlington, Ky.
• Name: Holly King
  
  Age: Get a load of this - CBS is releasing her age as "in her 20s"
  
  Occupation: Model
  
  Hometown: Los Angeles
• Name: Scott Long
  
  Age: 26
  
  Occupation: Sales Representative
  
  Hometown: Pittsburgh, Pa.
• Name: Drew Daniel
  
  Age: 22
  
  Occupation: Recent College Graduate
  
  Hometown: Urbana, Ohio
• Name: Michael Ellis
  
  Age: 23
  
  Occupation: Security Officer
  
  Hometown: Durant, Okla.
• Name: Marvin Latimer
  
  Age: 36
  
  Occupation: Mortician
  
  Hometown: Conway, S.C.
• Name: Mike Lubinski
  
  Age: 41
  
  Occupation: Commercial Painter
  
  Hometown: Eastpointe, Mich.
• Name: Will Wikle
  
  Age: 26
  
  Occupation: Registered Nurse
  
  Hometown: Tupelo, Miss.
• Name: Jase Wirey
  
  Age: 28
  
  Occupation: Volunteer Firefighter
  
  Hometown: Decatur, Ill.

HOUSE CALLS: THE BIG BROTHER TALK SHOW, a half-hour, streaming video daily talk show, will debut Wednesday, July 7 on CBS.com, one day after the fifth installment of BIG BROTHER premieres on CBS.

HOUSE CALLS, hosted by Marcellas Reynolds, a houseguest on "Big Brother 3," and Gretchen Massey, an on-air host on Infinity Radio's KLSX Los Angeles, will interact with viewers though phone calls and e-mails, discuss events that transpire in the Big Brother house, offer prognostications, analyze strategies, interview former "Big Brother" houseguests as well as current houseguests following their eviction.

HOUSE CALLS is believed to be the first live Internet talk show produced exclusively for a television network.

HOUSE CALLS will be broadcast live Monday through Friday (1:00 PM/ET, 10:00 AM/PT). The call in phone number is 323-CBS-1000.

"BIG BROTHER has been the model for convergence between the Internet and television and this innovative programming takes it one step further," said David Katz, Senior Vice President, Strategic Planning and Interactive Ventures, CBS Television. "HOUSE CALLS will be another avenue for 'Big Brother's' loyal fans to offer opinions and dialog. This really puts the chat back into chat rooms."

HOUSE CALLS: THE BIG BROTHER TALK SHOW will be produced by Eye Net Works, a division of CBS.com.

I'm not watching the live feeds - they're not available outside the UK. Instead, I've been watching the broadcast shows. It's so popular there that there are shows every day of the week, the eviction show is live with a huge live audience (actually, it's just outside the house), one of the digital channels over there (E4) actually broadcasts the live feeds. To top this off, there's also a second show (Big Brother's Little Brother) that's aired almost daily. It's ridiculous.

Anyway, speaking of ridiculous, something historic (soft of) happened. It all started when 2 houseguests were removed from the house in what was thought to be an eviction. Instead, they just went into another room inside the house, where they lived for about 4 days, watching live feeds of their housemates. They were put back into the house (it's a long story on how... you could always go to the website and read about it), but a food fight erupted. That escalated into an honest to God fight, where the houseguests trashed the house. The staff had to call security into the house to restore the peace, and viewers called the police to help out. It was tense and intriguing to watch... too bad it was so hard to understand the diverse amount of heavy accents...

• Alison & Donny - Dating - Yes, it's that Alison & Donny. Alison is 23, unemployed, and lives in Meadville, PA. Donny is 21, a student, and lives in Shenandoah, PA
• Bob Barron & Joyce Nicolo - Internet Dating Couple - Both live in Mount Laurel, N.J. He's 61 and retired, she's 53 and a Medical Practice Admin
• Brandon Davidson & Nicole O'Brian - Dating - Nicole, 21, lives in L.A., was Miss Texas USA 2003 and second runner up at Miss USA 2003, is also an actor. Brandon, 25, is a model and lives in Houston (they met at Bridal Extravaganza)
• Charla Faddoul & Mirna Hindoyan - Cousins - Both 27 and born at the same hospital in Syria one month apart. Charla is s store manager and has a form of dwarfism, lives in Phoenix, MD (I didn't know there was a Phoenix in Maryland). Mirna is a Lawyer and lives in Towson, MD.
• Chip & Kim McAllister - Married Parents - Chip is 46 and is the owner of a web technology company. Kim is 44 and is the owner of an information technology recruiting company. They've been married over 25 years and live in Coto De Caza, CA.
• Colin Guinn & Christie Woods - Dating - Colin is 24 and is the owner of a cell phone store, while Christie, 26, is the managing partner of a "Longevity and Wellness Center". Oh, an she was 1996 Miss Teen USA. They both live in Corpus Christi, TX.
• Dennis Frentsos & Erika Shay - Once Engaged - Oh, boy... that's a good moniker... this should be interesting to watch. Why did they break up? From the CBS website: Dennis broke off the engagement after Erika went skydiving naked. As Dennis describes it, "I thought I was dreaming, but no, here comes my future wife floating through the air with nothing on but socks and sneakers and a naked instructor strapped to her back." He's 27, a mortgage broker and lives in West Nyack, NY. She's 25, a wedding planner, and lives in Piermont, NY.
• Jim & Marsha McCoy - Father/Daughter - She's 26 and a law student at the University of Florida College of Law while living in Gainesville, FL. He's 53, a helicopter pilot, and lives in Jacksonville, FL. Oh, I guess Marsha was a Jacksonville Jaguars cheerleader.
• Kami & Karli French - Identical Twins - 26 and living in Eugene, OR, Kami is the general manager of a restaurant and Karli is a full-time student at the University of Oregon.
• Linda Ruiz & Karen Heins - Best Friends - Living in Palmdale, CA, are bowling doubles partners and mothers. Karen, 41, is a stay at home mom and Linda, 45, teaches tennis
• Marshall & Lance Hudes - Brothers - Marshall, 31, and Lance, 26, are from New York but live in Dallas, TX where they own and operate a pizza shop.

The location is back at the last location - Panama's Pearl Islands, and the tribes are names after the islands where they camp. There are 18 people instead of the usual 16, and there are 3 tribes instead of the usual 2.

In the Chapera Tribe:

• Alicia Calaway from Survivor: The Australian Outback
• Amber Brkich from Survivor: The Australian Outback
• Rob Cesternino from Survivor: The Amazon
• Robert Mariano from Survivor: Marquesas
• Susan Hawk from Survivor: Pulau Tiga (that's what they call the First Season, back when it was just "Survivor")
• Tom Buchanan from Survivor: Africa

In the Saboga Tribe:

• Ethan Zohn, winner of Survivor: Africa
• Jenna Lewis from Survivor: Pulau Tiga
• Jerri Manthey from Survivor: The Australian Outback
• Rudy Boesch from Survivor: Pulau Tiga
• Rupert Boneham from Survivor: Pearl Islands
• Tina Wesson, winner of Survivor: The Australian Outback

In the Moga Moga Tribe:

• Colby Donaldson from Survivor: The Australian Outback
• Jenna Morasca, winner of Survivor: The Amazon
• Lex van den Berghe from Survivor: Africa
• Kathy Vavrick-O'Brien from Survivor: Marquesas
• Richard Hatch, the man that started it all by winning Survivor: Pulau Tiga
• Shii Ann Huang from Suvivor: Thailand

Oh my God, they brought back the "celebrity" version of this wonderful game. I'm not happy about this. This was a wonderful game that got cheapened with a) the replacement of Anderson Copper with Ahmad Rashad, and b) the use of "celebrities" (and please notice the use of the quotes around the word) instead of average Joes (except that's another show). The "celebrities" this year seem a step down from last year. Sure they have the absolute lunacy of having back again this year Stephen Baldwin and Corbin Bernsen, and I really don't think I mind Mark Curry and maybe Angie Everhart, but Tracey Gold, Ananda Lewis, and Keshia Knight Pulliam? And then, the one person you'd never want to see on a show like this - Dennis Rodman. I don't like it.

The show starts with Corbin having to pickup the other contestants in The Celebrity Mole Taxi. The game ("El Taxi Loco") is to decipher a clue (in Spanish and English) and find each "celebrity" and bring them back to Ahmad within 75 minutes. Every celebrity picked-up is worth $5,000. If he shows up after the allotted time, he looses the money. Well, it's a pretty lame game, but the piece was, well, "cute". I mean, between Bernsen & Baldwin, there's no trust between anybody. The taxi itself is "cute" with all of it's stickers all over it, not to mention the chihuahua bobblehead do on the dash and two chickens (Carlos & Pepe) on the front seat (they were in a cage). Well, they come up two short as they decide to get $25,000 in the pot than to risk getting back late.

The players get their numbered journals (probably after lunch) and everybody starts writing. Corbin starts going nuts again as he realizes that there's one gold fish of the patio wall, so he thinks that the Mole must be Tracey Gold (after he goes up to the wall and smells the paint). Stephen, at the table, says "I'm not saying he ain't the Mole, I'm just sayin' he's insane". The second game is "Artifact Or Fiction". Two players are chosen as "salesmen" (Mark and Corbin). The each get a Mayan artifact that they have to "sell" as real to the rest of the players, though only one of the artifacts is indeed authentic. If players "buy" the true story, $10,000 will be added to the pot. If they believe the false story, not only will no money be added to the pot, but the liar will receive an Exemption. Corbin talks about his gourd that's used to make tequila, and Mark talks about his rock that's a fertility piece. Mark doesn't do a good job selling, but everyone believes him, especially after Angie says she saw the same thing in a store yesterday and the shopkeeper said it was a fertility piece. Ananda knows that Corbin's gourd is exactly how the Mayans made liquor. The group decides Corbin is the liar. Turns out. Mark is the liar, the group doesn't get any money, and Mark gets an Exemption. (Mark's rock was found in South Central!)

Back at the hotel, Stephen leaves his hotel room to go to Tracey's room to form a "coalition". In the middle of the discussion, Stephen hears Mark coming and has to abandon the discussion and fake out Mark that he was just messing around with the camera crew. Ahmad finds Keshia in the Makeup Room (first time we have ever seen an actual "makeup room" for this show. Looks like they commandeered a suite and Keshia is sitting under a chandelier.) Because she pulled Journal #2 earlier today, she is being offered a special secret game called "Moon Over Yucatan". She has to convince the other players to join her for a night-time swim after dinner, but she can't tell them it's a game. For each player in the water, $2,000 is added to the pot. If anyone goes skinny-dipping, she gets an Exemption. It was a typical Mole dinner. Keshia feigns an illness and sets Angie to take a walk with her. They each go down to the beach and get their feet wet (two feet in water = $2,000). They called Mark over and he did the same. Keshia tries to convince mark to skinny-dip, but Angie volunteers if Keshia will do it. They use a towel to go out into the water and strip, earning Keshia an Exemption and the pot gets another $6,000.

The group then has their Exemption Dinner, and Keshia tells her story to the group about the game. The pot is now at $31,000, and the group takes the Execution Quiz. The person Executed? Ananda. Hotel accommodations provided by Occidental Grand Flamenco Xcaret.

I'm not happy about the show, but I'll watch again. Hey, wait a minute... Ananda was in the opening credits playing a game that wasn't in tonight's show, throwing balls at other players...

So, the new Balboa tribe wakes-up after their first Tribal Council. Rupert tells Lil that she's a Drake, not a Morgan and he actually talks her up and pumps her up a bit - something she has sorely needed. Burton and Ryan O. also talk. A lot of strategizing, which you would expect out of a new tribe. Burton goes fishing and spears a ray. It turns out that this stingray shocks Burton. Rupert comes over and, sure enough, it shocks Rupert! It's an electric ray of some sort! Cool! They eat it anyway. (As Rupert says, it's "a high voltage meal".) Rupert talks about enjoying being able to feed the former Morgan tribemembers. Balboa goes to their first individual Reward Challenge. It's a typical slingshot challenge (hitting plates with marbles), and they're playing for a complete breakfast meal. Rupert wins the challenge, but in typical Rupert style, since Burton gave him his immunity at Tribal Council last night, he gives the reward to Burton. Burton gets to take a partner to the meal. You can hear Rupert under his breath say "Take Lill" and he does. Well, I guess she's a fellow Outcast, so it sort of makes sense.

The next morning, Burton says he's not thinking about is Drake tribe any longer - he wants to win this for the Outcast tribe, and he has no loyalty to Christa, Sandra and Rupert. Burton and Jon talk about getting rid of Rupert. (What? Ye bastards! Not the Spirit of The Pearl Islands!) The boat picks-up Burton and Lill for breakfast. Over the huge breakfast spread, Burton pumps Lill to get rid of Rupert and Lill, basically, pledges her undying allegiance to Burton. Back at camp, Christa and Sandra and talking about the same thing - getting rid of Rupert. Sandra then gets Tijuana and Darrah and they go for a walk. Back at breakfast Burton is still working Lill that Burton, Lill and Jon will be the top 3. (ed: gag)

There's a discussion about how lazy the Morgan tribe is. Christa says they just lay around. Tijuana thinks the Balboa tribe works a "great deal more than is necessary." It's time for the Immunity Challenge. It's a local pirate lore test. Correct answers earn the players coconuts, which they then place in a bin in front of another player. When a player gets 5 coconuts in their bin, they're eliminated from the challenge. Though everyone seems to have talked voting out Rupert, they concentrate on other players in the game and Rupert wins Immunity.

Ryan O. gets the feeling he's the one that is going at Tribal Council tonight. He tries to swing a 5-on-4 vote with Darrah and Tijuana and maybe work Jon & Burton. Christa talks to Jon about voting Burton off (obviously without knowing about Jon and Burton's alliance). Jon says it should be Ryan. Burton joins them and concurs. Jon in an interview says he will stab anyone in the back if it benefits him. (I totally believe him. Such a prick.)

At Tribal Council, Balboa votes-off Ryan Opray, the 31-year-old electrician from Los Gatos, California by a 8-1 vote.

I'm not sure how this week will top last week... all we seem to have to look forward to is dissent from the tribes when The Outcasts come back... but who will they be?

In another Survivor first, the Outcast tribe goes to Tribal Council to vote two people back into the game. Everybody makes their case to re-enter the game. The tribe votes. Burton Roberts, the 31-year-old marketing executive from San Francisco, California was voted-in first, and Lillian Morris, the 51-year-old scout troop leader from Cincinnati, Ohio, was second. Burton and Lill grab their torches and relight them. Jeff sends each of the other four off, one at a time. Lill then choses the Buff of her new tribe from a container... and it's Morgan. Each of the Outcasts goes back to their original tribe.

The storm has rolled in and Drake is talking in the dark about who could be coming back. Burton walks back into the shelter. Even though he was booted out, he came back to camp with an upbeat attitude and the tribe seems revitalized. At Morgan, Lill returns and it's just an OK reception. Lill seems a bit peaved (can you blame her?). Back at Drake, Rupert pulls Burton to the side and lays it out for him why he voted him out. Rupert viewed Burton as all the punks that teased him growing up. Burton felt bad and apologized and strategized, promising to vote out Jon at the the next council. Lill is back at Morgan, doing the work she's always done there, while everyone else has no energy left. Andrew seems bitter about the entire situation, having Lill back.

Burton, Rupert, and Christa go off looking for their lemon tree and talk about how decptive Jon has been and how much he's lied. It sounds like Jon is the target of the next Tribal Council. Back at Morgan, the tribe cooks the last of their rice - they are now officially out of food.

The tribes meet for the next challenge. Jeff asks Sandra about the food situation and she talks about the fact that there isn't a food situation - they have rice and corn and yesterday they had about 15 pounds of fish and refried beans at night and everyone went to sleep full. Andrew hangs his head in dispair. Andrew says they are surviving only on mussels and coconut.

Jeff asks if anybody came here today expecting a merge and counting on it to save them. Andrew says he disn't expect a merge or a big buffet under some table (huh? did he mean on a table? or under a tree?) Jeff says: "Once again the game changes when you least expect it. Drop your Buffs. You're merging." There's a lot of excitement, mostly from Morgan as Drake doesn't seem all that happy. Jeff passes out new black Buffs (fitting, don't you think?) Andrew takes his a burries his face in it as if he's hiding the fact that he's crying. The have to come up with a new name, paint a new flag (we never see that anymore on the show...) and they're going to live on Drake's beach. This almost means that they now compete for individual immunity, and that's what they're competeing for now. It's a variation on Keel Hauling, but they're swimming laps underneath piers in diffrent heats. Jon in his heat hits a cross at the end of the pier (like he's out of control) and falls in (he!). The final heat is between Rupert, Jon, Burton and Ryan O. The each have to do 5 laps, this time transferring gold medalions from a cross at the back of the pier to the front. In almost a photo finish, Burton wins over Rupert and wins immunity. Jeff tells everyone how this all works (like we all know already, I mean this is the seventh season of the show, but Burton already has immunity because he re-entered the game, so he can re-assign the immunity if he choses), and then Jeff says: "Oh, and one more thing, guys. Savage - that buffet you referred to? It's waiting for you back at camp." Everyone celebrates and paddles off.

The feast was ribs, lamb, bread, cheese, nuts, oranges, on a table with silver goblets (very Pirate Booty-looking), The new tribe is named Balboa (same as Rupert's dead snake). Then the game play begins... there's additional discussions about getting rid of Jon (by the Morgan tribe!) and Drake finds Lill is interested in "coming over" to Drake and vote off a Morgan. Andrew wants Lill to vote-off a Drake and she takes offense to this saying that that Morgan still wants her out.

At the Tribal Council, Burton re-assigns his immunity to Rupert since he's already immune. Andrew Savage, the 40-year-old attorney from Chicago, Illinois, is voted-out 6-4 over Jon.

Damn, I'm upset for two reasons... first, I think Andrew played the game so well, he "deserved" to at least be on the jury (now, he's not - he didn't survive long enough) and second, I really want that grinnin' Jon off that friggin' island and out of the game!

It's dark at the Drake tribe and out of the darkness you hear a booming "Who the hell voted for me? Who the hell voted for me? JON??? Who the hell voted for me?" It's Rupert and he's going after pissant Jon for voting for him at Tribal Council. Rupert is pissed, but he gets over it. How the hell is Jon still around??? The next day it's raining and Morgan looks like they're in bad shape. They haven't been getting any fish since rupert left. They're eating beans. Osten looks like he's checking out again. The damn bastard looks like he's tired and depressed... and like he wants to quit. Drake finds Tree Mail (or Sea Mail as they say) and they realize that there's a challenge coming up. The tribe decides they want coconut popcorn before the challenge (if you fry-up coconut meat it's supposed to taste like popcorn). Everybody except Shawn, that is. More verbal sparring ensues between Jon & Shawn about the damn coconut popcorn.

It's time for the challenge. When the tribes arrive, Jeff starts to talk:

Nineteen days, you've been out here in the Pearl Islands. You have survived the bugs, the lack of food, miserable living conditions and the ever shifting tribal dynamics. Together, you've voted six people out of this game - three from Morgan, three from Drake. The reasons you voted these people out vary. The only real common trait among the six people you voted out is that they're no longer in this game.

But that may soon change.

Morgan, Drake - your past has come back to haunt you.

Come in, guys.

The six people you have voted out return now as a third tribe.

Nicole. Skinny Ryan. Lill. Burton. Michelle. and Trish.

You guys have a tribe name?

(Burton replies) "We're The Outcasts."

The Outcasts. Not unlike the pirate days, they got tired of somebody, felt they were no longer worthy, they shipped them out to sea - left them for dead. Typically, they died. But every so often, they didn't, and when they came back they usually had one thing on their mind. I'm guessing it's the same with you. Michelle?

(Michelle replies) "Revenge, baby. All about revenge."

When we come back from the break, Jeff describes how this will work: (why is it that when they show Jon, he's always got that smile on his face that makes me want to smash him in the teeth to get rid of it?) the Outcasts will compete against Morgan and Drake in a Three-Tribe Challenge. If Morgan or Drake lose to the Outcasts, they will have to go to Tribal Council tonight and vote somebody out. The Outcasts will go to Tribal Council and vote somebody in to replace the member you lost. If both tribes lose to the Outcasts, both will go to Tribal Council separately, both will vote somebody out and two Outcasts will come back into the game. If any Outcasts make it back into this game, they are Immune at the next Tribal Council to give them a fair shot at integrating with their new tribe and getting back into this game.

The challenge is a rescue to get out of three different cages. It's a bit convoluted, so I won't go into details. From the start, The Outcasts take the lead, but Drake gets ahead. When it comes down to the end and getting a key ring with a pole, the Outcasts get the keys first and win. Drake and Morgan have to go to Tribal Council and vote people out, while the Outcasts vote two people back into the game for the first time in the history of Survivor. Holy crap, this is going to get interesting...

The tribes go back to camp, and everybody at Morgan feels the same way - the Outcasts must go at the first opportunity, ans everyone is frustrated. Then Osten tells everyone to vote him off. His body isn't functioning as well as he would like, so he can't compete as well, so he wants out. Huh? Have you looked at this guy??? What the hell is wrong with you, Osten? At Drake, a purple crab is crawling around their shelter (Hmmmm... purple? The color of the Outcast Tribe? Coincidence?) Sandra asks for volunteers to go home. To no one's surprise, nobody volunteers. Rupert, Christa and Sandra talk among themselves and Sandra says they should just ask the other two (Jon & Shawn) to make their case on why they should stay (!) and they agree!

Drake goes to Tribal Council first and votes off Shawn Cohen, the 28-year-old advertising sales executive from New York, New York, in a four-to-one decision.

Morgan then goes to Tribal Council. The weather has turned nasty - it's raining with lightning and thunder with heavy winds.

We are now treated to another historic moment in Survivor history - something called "laying down your torch":

Jeff: Well Drake has been here and gone. They were lucky with the weather. Unfortunately, you're not. Been a while since you guys have been here. Had a nice run. Savage - what happened when you guys got back to camp? Suddenly you're faced with an unexpected Tribal Council and you're going to have to vote somebody out.

Andrew: Soon as we get back to camp, Osten steps forward, says that his mind and his body have shut down and that he needs to go. He can't take it another day. Absolutely insists that we put his name on the parchment and vote him out tonight.

Jeff: You had enough, Osten?

Osten: Ah... going into this I was like I want to go as far as my body would allow me go. And right now, my body is done. It's exasperated. (ed. huh?) Every bone in my body hurts. Ahh... I just can't go any further. I'll be more of a liability than an asset to my team, and I refuse to do that.

Jeff: Savage - how much of this experience is about finding out what you are made of?

Andrew: It's all about that, Jeff. It's all mental. Your mind controls your body. If your body is shutting down it's because you... in my opinion... it's because your mind is shutting down.

Jeff: OK. So, Osten, your body, although it appears to smack anybody's body that's still left in this game (shot of Tijuana smiling), I would argue probably that your mind has had enough as well. So, when you hear a guy like Burton come back and say today "You don't know what down is until you've been humiliated by being voted out," and yet he still has a burning desire enough to be back in this game that he'll risk it again, is there any part of you that questions your own will to go on when your body may be saying "I'm tired"?

Osten: Absolutely not. I equate my temple to a car. (yes, Osten refers to his body as a temple) If it has no gas it can not run.

Jeff: T - from what I gathered at the 2nd Tribal Council, it was Osten who was the mysterious person that wanted to quit. So this goes back to Day 5 or 6. What's going on from your point of view right now with Osten?

Tijuana: Um, I can't dictate to Osten or understand where he's coming from. This experience may not be enough of a sacrifice for him versus his health. It is for me. I'm willing to go until probably I'm dead here - either that or I'm voted out. But that's just me.

Jeff: Darrah - I'm watching your body shrink by the day - pulling your top up, nothing staying on. You want out of this game?

Darrah: No, I do not want out of this game. Like T said, you know, I guess you'll have to carry me away, because I'm going to leave this game until I have to.

Jeff: Rhino - What's your take on this happening tonight? Is it "You know what? Fine, Osten, you wanted to quit twice. Go home."

Ryan O: As far as I'm concerned, if was me, I would be clawing and scratching and have to have pneumonia and stuff but, you know, Osten is going to do his thing. That's... that's his wishes. I'm going to grant him his wishes.

Jeff: So, I'm going to go back to you, Osten. I think you know I'm not picking on you.

Osten: That's fine, if you are.

Jeff: So when you hear your four other tribemates, who obviously adore you, when you hear them say "I wouldn't quit. Not for nothn', Jeff", you can't tell me, somewhere in the back of your mind, there's a little part of that says "I am quitting"?

Osten: Take it for whatever you want. mean, if you want to say "quitting", you want to say "stopping". Yeah, I'm "quitting". My health to me is more important to me... ah... than a million dollars I guess right now. Does the means justify the ends? No, it doesn't.

Jeff: Let me ask you something, Osten. Have you wondered what the hell you're doing out here?

Osten: You know what? I'm clearly out of my element. As a situation I would of thought that hey, give it a shot. I can at least say that I went and tried it. I'd like to have been successful. Apparently I'm not going to be. But you know, I won't live my life saying "what if?".

Jeff: Savage - you're shaking your head.

Andrew: If were to do this I would have a "what if?" Flat out. What if what if I went another two days. What if I went one more day. And, then but that's just me. I don't pretend to walk in his shoes, Jeff. I can't... understand what he's going through. It's his decision.

Jeff: Well, Osten - I don't pretend to know what you're thinking either, but I know this: I've been to about a hundred Tribal Councils. Never, ever seen anybody lay down their torch. So, this is a first for me. Seems unanimous. I just want to make sure. Savage - you're going to indulge Osten, sending him home?

Andrew: Yes.

Jeff: Darrah?

Darrah: Yeah.

Jeff: Rhino?

Ryan O.: Yep.

Jeff: T?

Tijuana: Yes.

Jeff: No need to vote and waste any more time. Grab your torch>

(Osten grabs his torch and places it into the ceremonial holder. We then hear Jeff say something he never said before at Tribal Council)

Jeff: Osten - per your wishes - (he snuffs-out the torch) Go home.

(Osten leaves the Tribal Council area. Jeff pulls his torch out of the holder and throws it to the ground)

Jeff: All due respect to Osten, people work too damn hard to get in this game and fight to stay alive. If he wants to lay his torch down so it shall be.

Jeff: Who knows maybe this is the best thing to happen to the Morgan Tribe. All I know is you will head back to camp. Soon after, a new tribe member will arrive and I can promise you this: that person wants to be in this game.

Jeff: Grab your torches, head on back. Good night.

And with that, Osten Taylor, the 27-year-old equity trade manager from Boston, Massachusetts, becomes the first quitter in the history of Survivor.

Remember I had mentioned that Jeff Probst mentioned that there would be a big regret in this game. This was it.

Later, Mark Burnett in a print interview said that he had only made one mistake in casting Survivor over all these years - it was Osten.

Osten, unlike Shawn, was not given the privilege of recording any parting remarks.

Best. Episode. Ever.

Part II is next week.

We start off with Drake re-hashing Tribal Council. Balboa the snake dies, and Rupert buries him (so he won't be used for bait). At Morgan, we see their new mascot - a pelican - that flies in from the water. Ryan takes to it, names him Pelican Pete, and the bird follows him around to the amusement of the tribe. Osten freaks out (like he does at all animals on the island) and starts sharpening his machete, threatening to kill the bird and ruffling the feathers of his tribe (did I really say that?). Drake decides to rebuild the floor of their shelter. Shawn disagrees, and an argument ensues between Shawn and Jon (Shawn may have been wrong, but you know Jon is just an ass...). The Reward Challenge is firing actual canons at targets for a grill, utensils, spices, 3 very large lobsters and 6 steaks. It was interesting to see cannonballs hook and slice! Drake wins and enjoys the food. They send Jon to plunder Morgan. Bad move. Very bad move. He goes over and is welcomed by Morgan. Things go well. He takes a cooking pot while Morgan thought they would have wanted the shower. In a nice diplomatic move, Morgan allows Jon to wash and shampoo his hair. As I said, Jon is an ass. He tells Morgan (after he takes a cooking pot) that Drake threw that immunity challenge. Holy crap. You are an idiot. Morgan is upset. Andrew, in a narration, calls Jon a "little pissant". They're pissed and fired-up now. The tribes show up for the Immunity Challenge. Christa looks like hell - her face is full of bug bites and Jeff mentions this. The challenge is strategy & endurance - Tribe members from each tribe would be forced to hold a pole up on their shoulders behind their neck. Periodically, weight would be added to the pole. Members of each tribe would determine to which of the opposing tribe members' poles the weight would be added. The last tribe standing would win immunity. Andrew, Osten, and Ryan with the strategy of Tijuana and Darrah go up against Rupert, Shawn, and Christa??? Oh, this is so wrong... Jon and Trish doing strategy? Osten is the first one out at 160 pounds in weights (plus 15 pounds for the bar), then Rupert loses his pole, Shawn goes down at 140, Christa finally falls at 160 pounds - giving Morgan the win. Bad, bad, strategy. Back at camp, Trish turns the tribe against Rupert to vote out tonight. Huh? Oh, oh... the title of the show is "Me and My Snake" - if the snake died, will Rupert go as well? Sandra talks to Christa about the situation, and Christa alerts Rupert. Rupert talks to Shawn, forms a little alliance and then set their sights on Trish. Jon talks to Shawn and he plays along with the unsuspecting Jon. at Tribal Council, Trish Dunn, the 42-year-old sales executive from Annapolis, Maryland is voted-out 4-2.

Next week: Holy Crap! The former tribemates come back! And compete! It's "The Twist to end all Twists"!!!

We start with Drake talking about the after-effects of their first Tribal Council. Next it's time to see how Rupert is doing over at Morgan. Morgan decides to move their shelter away from the incoming tides. Rupert, of course, helps out. Osten doesn't want to move the shelter. He's easily outvoted. Rupert just takes it all in. Drake starts talking about their fears that Rupert is giving away secrets. Boy, you people just don't know Rupert. Rupert goes fishing and sort of teaches Ryan how to use the spear. Rupert catches some nice fish for lunch. During the Reward Challenge, we see that: 1) Rupert makes a difference 2) Drake can't work together paddling a canoe and 3) Jon is still a friggin' idiot and must be wiped off the face of the earth. Drake's canoe goes everywhere and actually goes off the course. It's not a contest - Morgan wins the reward. Rupert is given the option to partake in the reward with Morgan and go back to Drake later or to go back to Drake now - and he choses to go home with Drake. He is welcomed back and tells them how bad it is back at Morgan. Andrew comes over from Morgan to plunder Drake's camp for the first time (he brings two coconuts as gifts). Rupert quietly goes up to Andrew and says "You can take whatever the #$&* you want, but I'm going to show you what I want you to take." Rupert makes a great offer - knowing that Morgan only has about two more bowls of rice left for food, Rupert pours some rice into a bag for Andrew. Big kudos for Rupert. Man, this guy knows how to be a pirate and knows how to play the game. Rupert finds a snake floating in the water that's injured - and takes it as a pet and names it "Balboa". (Next week's episode is titled "Me and My Snake".) The Immunity Challenge is this season's gross food challenge - blending up multiple seafood items and drinking them. Everybody does well and it comes down to a tie breaker and Sandra looses to Darrah. Three straight wins for Morgan. At Tribal Council, Drake votes out Michelle Tesauro, the 22-year-old student from Pittstown, NJ by a 6-1 vote.

Oh, my... the Morgan tribe goes 0-6 as they lose the Reward Challenge and almost lose Osten in the process. Osten almost drowns and has to be rescued by Andrew and Ryan O. (or Rhino as they're calling him). Drake wins an old fashion manual sewing machine and fabric to make new clothing (though Rupert makes another skirt for himself). Drake gets the final clue for finding their Treasure Chest and they dig it up, full of odds and ends (candles, blankets, mosquito netting, honey, sugar, and even some chocolate), but some people complain that it's stinks. No, literally, it stinks - it got a little damp and some things were a little moldy. Some people didn't like it all that much (Jon, specifically... when are they going to get rid of him?) Trish plunders the Morgan Tribe and takes their lantern. Andrew and Ryan O. went searching for a good fishing spot and get into a dangerous situation by getting lost without any water. Worse yet, they eventually get back to camp without any fish. Drake is not really a happy crew, and some discuss throwing the immunity challenge just to get rid of other tribemembers. When the tribes arrive for the Immunity Challenge, Jeff announces how the game works and says there's also something else that goes with it that will be revealed later. Sure enough, Drake loses giving Morgan their first win. Then Jeff unrolls the scroll he was holding. "Chose one tribemember from the opposing tribe to come live with you until the next challenge. Here's what that means - you are going to chose a tribemember from Drake right now. They will leave with you right now. They will not go to Tribal Council tomorrow night. They cannot be voted out. They will participate with you in the next Reward Challenge and share in that reward if you win." Morgan picks Rupert. Drake has a bad day with lots of scheming. At their first Tribal Council, as Jeff talks to Jon, he realizes that Jon is drunk. I really thought he was going to tear him apart. In the end, Drake votes out Burton Roberts, the 31-year-old Marketing Executive from San Francisco in a 5-2 vote. This is going to cause lots of problems as there is betrayal involved (by the drunk).

The Morgan tribe has now started Survivor: Pearl Islands 0-5 in the challenges. The are plundered again, this time for the large pot they use to boil water. Losing the tribe's last fish hook seals the fate of Lillian Morris, the 51-year-old scout troop leader from Cincinnati, Ohio, who was voted out of the tribe in a 5-1 vote. In a Survivor first, we see Jeff unable to extinguish Lill's torch on the first try. Symbolic?

More later...

More pirate antics this week and it feels good! We've got a "Pirate's Booty" buried in each camp, with information coming only if you win reward challenges. Oh, and if you win a team reward challenge, you get to plunder the other team's camp for one object! Cool! It's too bad that Drake keeps winning and Morgan has nothing of value to pillage! So, after so many failures, Morgan kicks out Ryan Shoulders, the 23-year-old produce clerk from Clarksville, Tennessee, in a 5-2 vote (even though Osten, the most buff male of the Morgan tribe can't take it after just a few days on the island and wants to quit - or get voted off).

More later...

Here it is, the final episode of the season. The first segment is about Alison and Jun in the house alone, and how they're feeling after the final eviction. Then we see the jury amd Robert joined then while they were at CBS (aw, no Jury House for Robert). There's a lot of discussion on how the finalists played. This past weekend, the Jury asked a question of each finalist. (The girls were upset that they couldn't see the Jury during the Q&A.) The questions were tough and pointed. The girls twisted and squirmed in their chairs. The jusry didn't feel some of the answers were good, or even accurate or pertinent at times. Then we see the actual voting process - putting the keys of the winner into the box. After the votes were cast, the jury was sequestered again and shown the complete season of the show. (Prior to this, they never saw any Diary Room footage or any footage of private conversations talking about other people). Then, everyone (Jury and others) came together and confronted each other on their issues in the house as a "round table discussion". All of them are shown live with Julie Chen in her little studio outside the house. They pack up, walk across the bridge and go into the house to meet Jun & Ali, who look extremely nervous about having everyone back in the house. Each of the houseguests reveal their votes - Jun wins 6-1. Jun's boyfriend Bob is waiting for her outside the house, while Alison's parents are waiting for her. Everyone leaves the house. Julie interviews the girls, and they are not surprised that they were not congratulated by the jury after the votes were over. Alison gets a message from Donnie... but it's hard to say if it's positive. Julie and all the houseguests (minus Scott, of course, as he is an un-person to the show) say goodbye from the front of the house. The last shot is of the mime eating cookies and milk on the couch inside the house watching the show on the plasma screen...

And so ends Big Brother 4. Though it appears to be a ratings winner this year, I didn't feel the same about the show. In fact, toward the end, based on how the game was played and who was still left in the house, I was disappointed. Oh well, I guess we'll have Big Brother 5 next July...

Looks like the crew is rehersing the final exits, greetings, and goodbyes outside the Big Brother house. They're using stand-ins for everyone (with cards hanging around their necks with the houseguest name on them). That usually means that there will be one more rehersal with the actual houseguests later today before the live show. Inside the house, Jun & Ali have been going stir crazy that last few days and the tension of finally being able to get out is rising. Also, it sounds like Alison knows that Jun will win tonight. We'll see.

So, after being "shipwrecked" in the Pearl Islands, Nicole Delma, the 24-year-old Massage Therapist from Hermosa Beach, CA was voted-out of the Morgan Tribe.

More later...

We know that Alison won Round One of the HOH competition. We know that Jun won Round Two. We see how the Final 3 are coping with stress during the game (or not). We see how Robert threatens the girls with failure if he is not taken to the Final 2. We are treated to stories from family about how the Final 3 are playing the game The Final Round of the HOH competition is between Jun & Alison and they must guess what their ex's said about them (on tape from the Jury House) on eight questions, and then after a 4-4 tie, on to a tie breaker on how many days did they date their ex's. Alison answers 0, Jun answers 1 Million and Alison wins (Funny! Like they planned it!). We see Erika enter the Jury House (nice place) - in the same clothes she was evicted in. So Alison, in no surprise move, kicked Robert's ass out of the house.

Imagine the last three houseguests alone in the house. With a mime. For three hours. Lets just say that Ali has issues. Anyway, Robert wins a luxury competition to view a movie in the newly renovated media room (the old Desert bedroom) with a guest. Robert chose Ali. The movie is Runaway Jury (with John Cusack, Rachel Weisz, Gene Hackman and Dustin Hoffman) which won't be out until next month! And they will be going to the Premiere at the Kodak theater! But for now, they're watching the movie before the public release tonight. While they were in the Desert Room watching the movie, the mime came back (and scared the hell out of Jun who was in the house "alone") and kept Jun company for an hour, while torturing Ali's stuffed animals. He left before the movie ended.

Now the two interesting quotes are these: "There is one of the greatest lies ever this season. It is a fantastic, horible lie" (referring to a contestant and of course not Jeff). "There is a huge regret that somebody does that has a big impact...". Sounds like maybe somebody thinks someone should get voted-off and doesn't and comes back to bite them?

A clip is shown of the cast on deck of what looks like a 3-masted schooner. Jeff greets them: "Welcome guys to Survivor: Pearl Islands. The game is on. I know everybody here brought their suitcases and I know you got a lot more luggage downstairs, and it's true, in the past, Survivors have been allowed to go through their luggage and pick out a few essential items. You guys won't have that luxury. You're going into this game with the clothes you have on your back."

Well, we see stories about Robert and the women, the first 3 evicted houseguests (Amanda, Michelle, and David), we see Jee arrive at the Jury House (and Dana, even though she's screwing Justin every night (or so we think) STILL looks pissed-off), and we see Alison use the Power of Veto as she takes herself off of nomination for the third time, automatically putting Erika up as a nomination for eviction. As Erika sits down in the orange chair we see a commercial about applications are now being accepted for Big Brother 5. After the break, we see Alison tearfully evict Erika live to her face. DAMN. I didn't want to see that happen. Eventually, it's time for the final Head of Household competition. It's going to be in three parts (The first is tonight, with the winner going to Part 3. Part 2 is probably tomorrow, with the winner going to part 3. The two people in Part 3 battle to win the final HOH). Anyway, just as last year, this will be an endurance challenge where you must hold onto your key. This time, the remaining houseguests are standing on little houses. Not a big deal... for a little while. Then a snow machine kicks-in over the wall, throwing "snow" (or more likely shaved ice) onto the houseguests. Apparently it's coming down in chunks, some larger than your fist and it hurts. The show ends and we are left to find out the results by watching the live feeds on the internet.
Update: Well, this didn't last long - only about an hour and a half. First out was Jun, followed quickly by Robert. Alison wins the first part of the final HOH challenge.

It's Day 61 in the Big Brother House and oh, what a twisted game this has been... We saw an entire segment on how Robert lies. We saw a segment from the Jury House where we got TOO MUCH INFORMATION about Justin & Dana - <shudder>. Then we had a live Veto Ceremony where Alison uses the Veto on herself, so Jun puts up Robert in her place, all of which doesn't matter at Jee gets voted-off 2-0. In his goodbye message to Jee, Robert says "I'll do it for the Dream Team". Ugh. We found out that the last night of the show is now September 24. It got moved-up because CBS ordered a few more shows and so far the houseguests don't know that they will be in the house a little longer than they thought. Late this afternoon while I had the live feeds on, I saw aa little goof. The crew didn't go to the "Front of the House" camera (and play that godforsaken them music over and over) during a rehersal for tonight (yes, they actually reherse the live show). They had the camera on in the empty "Desert Room" and the producer was giving instructions to the houseguests over the house P.A. (I didn't get the good parts, but I did get a short piece here as an MP3). I found out that the housegusests, after the eviction, were put into the old Desert Room so the crew could setup the living room for the HOH challenge. So, they do the HOH challenge tonight, which is guessing the answers of questions that were given to the Jury House guests. Erika and Robert tie. The tie breaker question is a math question, with the winner being closest without going over. The question: from the time the exes entered the house until now, how many hours have you been in the house? Erika answers 1440, Robert answers 800. Correct answer: 1434. Erika is over by 6 hours so Robert gets HOH for the week. Crap.

Would you believe Big Brother 1's runner up Josh Souza!!!

Here's the proof!!!

• Rupert Boneham, a mentor for troubled teens, is 39 and hails from Indianapolis, Ind.
• Tijuana Bradley, 27, is from St. Louis, Mo., and works in pharmaceutical sales.
• Shawn Cohen, who turns 29 on Sept. 20, works in advertising sales and lives in New York, N.Y.
• Jon Dalton, an art consultant, hails from Danville, Va. He is 29.
• Nicole Delma, who turns 26 on Sept. 19, is a massage therapist from Hermosa Beach, Calif.
• Sandra Diaz-Twine, 29, an office assistant, is from Fort Lewis, Wash.
• Trish Dunn, a 42-year-old sales executive, Dunn is from Annapolis, Md.
• Christa Hastie is a 24-year-old computer programmer from Los Angeles.
• Darrah Johnson, a mortician, 22, lives in Liberty, Miss.
• Lillian Morris, 51, is a scout troop leader who lives in Cincinnati, Ohio.
• Ryan Opray, an electrician, is 31 and lives in Los Gatos, Calif.
• Burton Roberts is a 31-year-old marketing executive from San Francisco.
• Andrew Savage, an attorney, is 40 and lives in Chicago.
• Ryan Shoulders, hailing from Clarksville, Tenn., is a 23-year-old produce clerk.
• Osten Taylor, 27, is an equity trade manager from Boston.
• Michelle Tesauro, from Pittstown, N.J., is a 22-year-old student.

Yes, another twist in the show. First, during the live eviction voting, Jack was evicted on a 2-1 vote, against HOH Jee's wishes. Over the course of the past day or two, the crew have been removing items out of the house. The HOH competition was a quiz to identify the items. Jun won it. Julie Chen, after a commercial break, calls Jun to the Diary Room to tell her that there's a limo outside and she's leaving the house. her only question was where? She's going to New York to be a guest at the 2003 MTV Video Music Awards at Radio City! Jun puts on a blindfold and leaves, with her housemates on the couch waiting for her. And waiting... and waiting...

Update: Sure enough, there's Jun on the Red Carpet during the VMA pe-show being interviewed by Gideon. She was also in "the Pit" for the whole show.

So who instructed the Housegusests on what to do with the gnomes? Who else - Marcellas Reynolds from Big Brother 3! Here's an MP3 of his instructions to the Houseguests!

Oh, who won? Same person that won HOH and POV also won this food challenge.

Bastard.

Here we are - the final episode...

We're on Ellis Beach on the North coast of Australia. David & Jeff (known to us as Team Who?) are the first to depart at 1:47am. "Teams must now drive themselves 20 miles to the Tjapukai Aboriginal Cultural Park. Here, they will join in a traditional ceremony in which fire will signal tribesmen to bring them their next clue." Oh oh... Jeff narrates that he thinks that "they've made the least amount of mistakes of the three teams that remains at this point." Then they show that Team Who? doesn't really know how to close the rear doors of their Toyota SUV. All I can say is "oh, oh...". The Chipsters depart at 2:14am. There is only $1 given for this leg of the race. They narrate that people think all gay people are "queenie". Oh, boy. Team Who gets to the park to find out that Hours of Operation are 6am-6pm. Great - time for another "TAR Bunch-up". Jon & Kelly depart at 2:38am. Kelly: "Hours of Operation 6am to 6pm. We can still catch up." Jon: "Awwww... doesn't that stink for the boys.... let's go...".They are just way too nice to each other this morning. The sun comes up, all three teams are at the gate, and as it opens all break into al all-out run to the ceremony site. The watch intently as aborigines try to make a fire. In what has to be the most coolest visual thing of this season, a tribesman puts a long spear into a blazing fire, withdrawing what seems to by a bright sparkler at it's tip. He uses the spear to hurl the sparkling thing off the tip and across about at least 100 feet of water toward a very small wooded island. When the burning thing reaches the island, the whole frickin' island goes up in flames (must have had a huge open gas main out there). Way cool. More tribesmen show up with a container full of "message sticks" which hold their next clue. Teams must now drive themselves 15 miles to the airport in the city of Cairns and search for the General Aviation Terminal, where they'll find their next clue. Oh, oh... "General Aviation Terminal" is not good. It's drizzling/raining as the sun is coming up. There's a white-knuckle SUV race to the airport and Chip sends his SUV hydroplaning off the road after he passed Jon & Kelly. He's lucky the vehicle didn't roll. Kelly tells Jon to keep on going because they're OK (referring to The Chipsters). Team Who is first to the Route Marker, followed right behind by Jon & Kelly and The Chipsters. The clue is a Detour - "Wing It" or "Wander it". In "Wing It" teams must get into a plane, climb to a height of 10,000 feet, and skydive in tandem with an instructor to their next clue. The task is potentially frightening, but teams can finish it fast. In "Wander It", teams drive to a mangrove forest and find a boat, use it to navigate out of the forest and then to the skydiving landing zone to get their next clue. There's nothing frightening about the task, but completing it could take a very long time. Everyone choses "Wing It". (Reichen decides that this is better than being in a car with Chip!)

Everyone makes the jump, (though some (Kelly) were quite more frightened than others) and everybody had a great time. Team Who? is first on the ground and get to the Route Marker. Teams must now travel 4,700 miles to the island of Hawaii, also known as The Big Island. When they land, they'll have to chose a car (Another SUV - looks like a Ford) and drive themselves to Kaulana Bay - the southern-most part of the United States. It's now another trip back to Cairns Airport, but now to the International Terminal. Except for The Chipsters who want the Domestic Terminal. Team Who? (mostly Jeff) discusses that they should go to Sydney since Qantas was hubbed out of there so they'll get a better chance of getting to Hawaii.Turns out the Chipsters knew that even though they're at the domestic terminal Qantas is so good with customer service that they'll help them out. Kelly checks out a flight out of Sydney, but they'll miss the connecting flight. Team Who? books a flight to Sydney, with a flight to Honolulu the next day. They take off to Sydney, hoping to make better connections through there. The Chipsters book a flight from Cairns to Tokyo on Qantas and then a United flight that gets them into Honolulu at 6:55am (which sounds like they'll be in Hawaii before Team Who? leaves Australia). Kelly & Jon wind-up booking the same flights as The Chipsters from the other terminal. Team Who? gets to Sydney and works the phones for better connections. They think JAL can help them through japan, but all flights have left. They worked 3 hours trying to work any route and can't get out of Australia. In Tokyo the two teams try to make the transfer from Qantas to United - which is in a different terminal - within 45 minutes. The Chipsters got the bus and booked. Kelly & Jon get to a different terminal, get a United employee to help, get their own bus, and get to the gate - only to need boarding passes which they don't have. The Chipsters board the plane, the rest of the gate crew won't let them on and Kelly & Jon miss the United flight - as The Chipsters get upgraded to Business Class and drink champagne on the way to Hawaii.

Kelly is devastated that they missed the flight. They find a flight that gets in at 8:05am instead of 6:55am, so they take it. We see The Chipsters arrive at Kona Airport on the big island - but we have no idea how they got there (since they were going to Honolulu). They drive to Kaulana Bay. Team Who? is still in Sydney and is now worried since they didn't see any of the teams come through there. The get on their flight to Honolulu. Kelly & Jon arrive in Kona. Chip is steak behind a slow driver and you know that's just pissing him off. The Chipsters hit the bay and find the Route Marker. The clue is a Roadblock: "Who is a strong swimmer and good with a hammer?" In this Roadblock, the team member has to swim out to a floating tiki head, dive beneath the waves to the rock below and get the rock back to the beach. Once on shore, they'll have to smash the rock open to retrieve the clue from inside. Chip is chosen for the task, and gets the rock back to the beach. It takes a long time with a hammer and chisel to get the rock open. Jon & Kelly are on the road to Kaulana Bay. Chip finally gets te rock open. The clue is in a tube at the core. Teams must drive themselves 60 miles to Hawaii Volcanoes National Park and find a lookout point.Then, they must follow a marked path across a field of hardened lava to a Route Marker. The Chipsters drive to the Park, Jon & Kelly get to Route Marker and Jon decides to do the task. But, he doesn't want to get his underwear wet, so he decides to do the task naked. Oh. Good. God. Who the hell would crouch over a rock with a hammer, chisel, and safety glasses, with pieces of sharp rock flying everywhere totally naked? Looks like Jon gets through the rock with little effort (or a lot of editing). Jon puts on his pants and drive to the volcanoes. The Chipsters arrive, walk the path, and get to the Route Marker. Teams must now travel 2,900 miles to their final destination city - Phoenix Arizona. Once there, they must search for a monument - the anchor from the U.S.S. Arizona, one of the ships sunk during the attack on Pearl Harbor. It's here they will get their next clue. The Chipsters decide to go to Hilo instead of back to Kona for the flight. Kelly & Jon reach the Route Marker and they take off. Kelly has flight info for flights back to Honolulu. They decide that Kona has more flights so they head back there. The Chipsters book a flight from Hilo to Honolulu that gets in at 8:17pm and then a flight leaves at 11:15pm for Phoenix that arrives at 8:15am. They fly to Honolulu. Jon & Kelly get to Kona and fly to Honolulu. The Chipsters, in Honolulu, try to get the best seat assignments at the front of the plane. Jon & Kelly, in Honolulu, book a flight to Phoenix - the same one as The Chipsters, and 4 rows behind them. The Chipsters start asking people in the terminal waiting areas on the exact location of the anchor. Kelly & Jon start doing the same. They enter Gate 33 and fly back to the mainland.

The flight to Phoenix looks stressful to the racers. They land in Phoenix and race through the airport. The Chipsters are first to get a cab. Chip looks like he's bribing the driver as soon as they pull away. Kelly & Jon get a cab right behind them. The Chipsters now say they'll give the guy $50 to get there as fast as they can. Jon gives his driver the "first hundred bucks" as their bribe. The teams talk about emergencies, the race, other cabs trying to overtake you. The Chipsters get to the anchor, while Jon & Kelly may have the right park but their cab driver doesn't know where the anchor is. The Chipsters read their clue: "You've come a long way from Dodger Stadium and you're almost there. So, make your way to the southeast entrance of Sun Devil Stadium." They get back into their waiting cab. Kelly & Jon's driver finds the anchor. They bolt for the Route Marker, read the clue, and head back for the cab. Did I mention that it's been raining in Phoenix? Well, Jon runs toward a low wall to jump over it when his feet slide out from underneath him as he slams into the wall. They get in the cab and take off. Reichen gives the cab driver another $50 "just to keep you motivated". Just then we see Jon tell their cab driver "I've got another $100 bucks if you drive like a madman." The Chipsters hit Sun Devil Stadium and run to the Route Marker. They have the cab driver turn his cab around so it's pointed put ward just to make sure they get a fast getaway. They read the clue: "To find your next clue, solve the following puzzle. Happy Valentine's Day + White + White." To solve the riddle, teams must first translate the date - February 14th - into the number 214. They must then figure out that "White + White" refers to the two players who's name's White are written on the stadium's wall. One White is number 33 (this refers to Wilford White) and the other is 11 (this refers to Danny White). Using all these numbers, teams must figure out that they need to get to Section 214 Row 33 Seat 11 to get their next clue. Chip is on the right track, checking out Section 2 Row 14. Kelly and Jon are still going to the stadium. Chip realizes that he 200's are upstairs, so they climb up the ramps. They get to 214 and Chip slowly walks up the stairs. He looks up, sees the players numbers and names on the facade and heads to row 33. Chip grabs the clues and start their way back down as we see Kelly & Jon's cab pull into the facility. Kelly gets out and bolts to the Route Marker. (Hmmm... I don't see The Chipsters' cab... bad editing... and you know what's weird? There's four clues, not three... a ruse so that the people don't really know who's in the lead?) Still on the ramps down, Reichen reads the clue: "Make your way to the west parking lot of Papago Park. Chose a pair of mountain bikes and ride the marked path until you reach the end of the bike course - the Finish Line." Jon & Kelly figure out the clue as The Chipsters pull away. John & Kelly get the final clue and get back to their cab and leave. Tension is building. It's 8 o'clock at night and the editing makes it into a mad scramble with the taxis. We see a cab pull up. The Chipsters get out and walk to the rack of marked mountain bikes. They take off down the path. We see Phil on the huge final mat, looking out toward the distance. All of the eliminated teams are shown cheering. Kelly and Jon pull up in their cab, get their bikes and take off. Reichen and Chip hit the end of the trail, drop the bikes, and start running up a trail and onto the stage/mat.

"4 continents. 24 cities. 44,000 miles. Reichen & Chip, you are the official winners of The Amazing Race!"

Chip has a tearful speech. Jon & Kelly run up to the stage. "Kelly and Jon, you're the second team to arrive. Congratulations." Kelly breaks down sobbing. They narrate a few things.

And then we see fresh, hot lava pouring over what appears to be an asphalt road in the dark at 5:30am. David & Jeff walk out of their SUV in the rain and darkness to the Route Marker. You hear David say "Are we first? Are we the first team?" dripping in not rain but sarcasm. David reads the final clue: "Route Info. Reichen and Chip have crossed the Finish Line. The Race is over. Kelly and Jon came in second."

And thus ends what might be the last episode ever of the best Reality show on television. As of right now, CBS has not committed to a fifth year. Damn

Hey, you want to look at an overview of The Race? Look at this from Television Without Pity as viewed by Reichen and Chip:

On their journey, we have seen them riding 10 cars, 19 planes, 9 trains, 2 charter vans, 38 taxis, 2 ski-lifts, 1 zipline, 1 snow-raft, 2 buses, 1 gondola, 1 fiacre, 3 boats, 2 bikes, 1 bicycle wagon, 2 subways and 1 horse.

(Each taxi trip is counted separately, spoon-fed cars are counted as separate on different legs.)

SATURDAY 18 JANUARY - Day One
Dodger Stadium, Los Angeles, California, USA
Car to Los Angeles Airport, Los Angeles
Plane to Schiphol Airport, Amsterdam, Netherlands

SUNDAY 19 JANUARY - Day Two
Schiphol Airport, Amsterdam, Netherlands
Plane to Malpensa Airport, Milan, Lombardy, Italy
Subway to Galleria Vittorio Emanuele II, Milan
Walk to Hotel Nuovo, Milan

MONDAY 20 JANUARY - Day Three
Hotel Nuovo, Milan, Lombardy, Italy
Walk to Piazza Fontana, Milan
Charter Van to Piazza Roma, Cortina D'Ampezzo, Veneto, Italy
Taxi to Cinque Torri, Cortina D'Ampezzo
Ski-lift, Zipline and Ski-lift again at Cinque Torri
Taxi to Hotel Lajadira, Cinque Torri

TUESDAY 21 JANUARY - Day Four
Hotel Lajadira, Cortina D'Ampezzo, Veneto, Italy
Taxi to Trampolino Olimpico, Cortina D'Ampezzo
Snow-raft at Trampolino Olimpico
Taxi to Train Station, Calalzo, Veneto
Bus to Train Station, Alpi, Veneto
Train to Stazione Santa Lucia, Venice, Venito
Walk to Ponte Della Guglia, Venice
Gondola to Calle Querini, Venice
Walk to Palazzo da Mosto, Venice
Walk to Citta di Padova, Venice

WEDNESDAY 22 JANUARY - Day Five
Citta di Padova, Venice, Veneto, Italy
Walk to Stazione Santa Lucia, Venice
Train to Verona, Veneto, Italy
Train to Innsbruck, Austria
Train to Westbahnhof Train Station, Vienna, Austria
Walk to Friedrichstrasse/Operngasse, Vienna
Walk to Kaiserhof Hotel, Vienna

THURSDAY 23 JANUARY - Day Six
Kaiserhof Hotel, Vienna, Austria
Walk to Friedrichstrasse/Operngasse, Vienna
Walk to Stadtpark, Vienna
Fiacre to Schonbrunn Palace, Vienna
Walk to Figarohaus, Vienna
Taxi to Donautrum, Vienna
Taxi to Westbahnhof Train Station, Vienna
Train to Attnang Train Station, Gmunden, Austria
Taxi to Seeschloss Orth, Gmunden

FRIDAY 24 JANUARY - Day Seven
Extended Pitstop at Seeschloss Orth, Gmunden, Austria

SATURDAY 25 JANUARY - Day Eight
Seeschloss Orth, Gmunden, Austria
Taxi to Salzburg Airport. Salzburg, Austria
Plane to Frankfurt Airport, Frankfurt, Germany
Plane to CDG Airport, Paris, France
Taxi to Montparnesse Station, Paris
Train to Le Mans Station, Le Mans, Sarthe
Taxi to Circuit Bugatti, Le Mans
Car to Porte 4 Cap Janet, Marseille, Provence, France

SUNDAY 26 JANUARY - Day Nine
Porte 4 Cap Janet, Marseille, Provence, France
Same car to Sainte Marie Lighthouse, Marseille
Same car to Gorges du Blavet, Provence
Same car to Chateau des Alpilles, St-Rémy de Provence, Provence

MONDAY 27 JANUARY - Day Ten
Chateau des Alpilles, St-Rémy de Provence, Provence, France
Car to Marseille Airport, Marseille, Provence
Plane to Schiphol Airport, Amsterdam, Netherlands
Train to Magere Brug, Amsterdam
Boat to Scheepvaart Museum, Amsterdam
Car to Alkmaar, Netherlands
Same car to Smoker Statue, Monnickendam, Netherlands
Same car to Kasteel Muiderslot, Muiden, Netherlands

TUESDAY 28 JANUARY - Day Eleven
Extended Pitstop at Kasteel Muiderslot, Muiden, Netherlands

WEDNESDAY 29 JANUARY - Day Twelve
Kasteel Muiderslot, Muiden, Netherlands
Taxi to Schiphol Airport, Amsterdam, Netherlands
Plane to Malpensa Airport, Milan, Italy
Plane to CST Airport, Mumbai, Maharashtra, India

THURSDAY 30 JANUARY - Day Thirteen
CST Airport, Mumbai, Maharashtra, India
Taxi to Film City, Mumbai
Bicycle to Studio 10, Film City
Bus to Goregaon Train Station, Mumbai
Train to Mahalaxmi Train Station, Mumbai
Walk to Dhobi Ghat, Mumbai
Taxi to Sassoon Docks, Mumbai
Taxi to Gateway of India, Mumbai

FRIDAY 31 JANUARY - Day Fourteen
Gateway of India, Mumbai, Maharashtra, India
Walk to Taj Mahal Hotel, Mumbai
Taxi to Panvel Train Station, Panvel, Maharashtra
Train to Ernakulam Train Station, Ernakulam, Kerala

SATURDAY 1 FEBRUARY - Day Fifteen
Ernakulam Train Station, Ernakulam, Kerala, India
Taxi to Highway 47, Kerala
Taxi to Sports Field, Pallathuuthi, Kerala
Taxi to Beach Road, Alappuzha, Kerala
Bicycle Wagons to Geogi's Chicken Farm, Alappuzha
Taxi to Finishing Point, Alappuzha

SUNDAY 2 FEBRUARY - Day Sixteen
Extended Pitstop at Finishing Point, Alappuzha, Kerala, India

MONDAY 3 FEBRUARY - Day Seventeen
Finishing Point, Alappuzha, Kerala, India
Taxi to Kochi Airport, Kochi, Kerala
Taxi to PL Worldways Limited, Kochi, Kerala
Taxi to Kochi Airport, Kochi, Kerala
Plane to Kuala Lumpur Airport, Kuala Lumpur Federal Territory, Malaysia

TUESDAY 4 FEBRUARY - Day Eighteen
Kuala Lumpur Airport, Kuala Lumpur Federal Territory, Malaysia
Plane to Kota Kinabalu Airport, Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, Malaysia
Taxi to Monosopiad Cultural Village, Kota Kinabalu
Taxi to Kota Kinabalu Jetty, Kota Kinabalu
Boat to fishing boat on South China Sea, Kota Kinabalu
Same boat to fishery on South China Sea, Kota Kinabalu
Same boat to lobster boat on South China Sea, Kota Kinabalu
Same boat to Manukan Jetty, Manuakan Island, Kota Kinabalu
Walk to Manukan Beach, Manukan Island

WEDNESDAY 5 FEBRUARY - Day Nineteen
Manukan Beach, Manukan Island, Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, Malaysia
Walk to Manukan Jetty, Manuakan Island, Kota Kinabalu
Boat to Kota Kinabalu Jetty, Kota Kinabalu
Taxi to Poring Hot Springs, Poring, Sabah
Car to Sepilok Orangutan Sanctuary, Sepilok, Sabah
Same car to Sepilok Nature Resort, Sepilok
Taxi to Puu Jih Shih Temple, Sandakan, Sabah
Charter Van to Kota Kinabalu Airport, Kota Kinabalu, Sabah

THRUSDAY 6 FEBRUARY - Day Twenty
Kota Kinabalu Airport, Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, Malaysia
Plane to Changi Airport, Singapore
Plane to Incheon Airport, Seoul, South Korea

FRIDAY 7 FEBRUARY - Day Twenty-One
Incheon Airport, Seoul, South Korea
Taxi to Seoul Tower, Seoul
Taxi to Sheraton Hotel, Seoul
Taxi to Sundam Valley, Chirwon, Gangwon-Do, South Korea
Taxi to a subway station, Seoul
Subway to Seoul University Station, Seoul
Walk to octopus restaurant, Seoul
Taxi to Gyeongbokgung Palace, Seoul

SATURDAY 8 FEBRUARY - Day Twenty-Two (Thank you Miri!)
Extended Pitstop at Gyeongbokgung Palace, Seoul, South Korea

SUNDAY 9 FEBRUARY - Day Twenty-Three
Gyeongbokgung Palace, Seoul, South Korea
Taxi to Yeoido Island, Seoul
Taxi to Incheon Airport, Seoul
Plane to Brisbane Airport, Brisbane, Queensland, Australia

MONDAY 10 FEBRUARY - Day Twenty-Four
Brisbane Airport, Brisbane, Queensland, Australia
Taxi to Holiday Inn Hotel, Brisbane
Car to UnderWater World, Mooloolaba, Queensland
Same car to Mooloolaba Yacht Club, Mooloolaba

TUESDAY 11 FEBRUARY - Day Twenty-Five
Mooloolaba Yacht Club, Mooloolaba, Queensland, Australia
Car to Australian Woolshed, Ferny Hills, Queensland

WEDNESDAY 12 FEBRUARY - Day Twenty-Six
Australian Woolshed, Ferny Hills, Queensland, Australia
Same car to Brisbane Airport, Brisbane, Queensland
Plane to Cairns Airport, Cairns, Queensland
Car to Wild World Tropical Zoo, Queensland
Same car to Wangetti Beach, Queensland
Horse at Wangetti Beach
Same car to Off Road Rush, Julatten, Queensland
Car to Ellis Beach, Queensland

THRUSDAY 13 FEBRUARY - Day Twenty-Seven (Thank you EmeraldFire!)
Ellis Beach, Queensland, Australia
Car to Tjapukai Aboriginal Cultural Park, Queensland
Same car to General Aviation Centre, Cairns Airport, Cairns, Queensland
Plane to field, Cairns
Taxi to Cairns Airport, Cairns
Plane to Tokyo-Narita Airport, Tokyo, Japan
Plane to Honolulu Airport, Honolulu, Hawaii, USA

THRUSDAY 13 FEBRUARY - Day Twenty-Eight (Thank you TheSchnauzers!)
Honolulu Airport, Honolulu, Hawaii, USA
Plane to Kona Airport, Kona, Hawaii
Car to Kaulana Bay, Hawaii
Same car to Chain of Craters Rd, Hawaii Volcanoes Ntl Park, Hawaii
Same car to Hilo Airport, Hilo, Hawaii
Plane to Honolulu Airport, Honolulu, Hawaii
Plane to Sky Harbor Airport, Phoenix, Arizona, USA

FRIDAY 14 FEBRUARY - Day Twenty-Nine
Sky Harbor Airport, Phoenix, Arizona, USA
Taxi to USS Arizona Anchor, W Washington Street, Phoenix
Taxi to Sun Devils Stadium, Phoenix
Taxi to Papago Park, Phoenix
Bicycle at Papago Park, Phoenix, Arizona, USA

In a not too startling event, Justin is voted out of the house. In what was more startling to me was watching a segment on the Jury House where Dana has been staying. Holy crap this is a gorgeous place! It's not on the CBS lot as we had originally heard. Jee won the HOH competition tonight, which was a bocce ball/skee-ball event, and just about sealed the fate of either Jack or Erika.

At the end of the show, Julie Chen made this announcement to the houseguests and left them hanging:

"Well everyone, we told you from the very beginning you should never get too comfortable in the Big Brother house. Remember that our motto is 'Expect The Unexpected'. And everyone should know that the unexpected begins tomorrow. Goodnight houseguests."

What is it? How about isolating each houseguest to a room? How about "selling" Power of Veto to a houseguest? The stakes? How about PB&J for everyone else for a week? Two weeks? A month? How about geting POV before the nominations are made? How about an HOH taking the deal?

First, I'm sure you already have these feeds, but in case you don't, here are 5 broadband feeds that wont time-out after 30 minutes (because they're not feeds from CBS!)...

• Feed 1
• Feed 2
• Feed 3
• Feed 4
• Quad

Wakeup calls

• Good Morning Houseguests - it's time to get up for the day - 1
• Good Morning Houseguests - it's time to get up for the day - 2
• Robert - I SAID, IT'S TIME TO GET UP FOR THE DAY!

Diary Room

• Alison - please go to the Diary Room
• Erika - please go to the Diary Room - 1
• Erika - please go to the Diary Room - 2
• Jack - please go to the Diary Room - 1
• Jack - please go to the Diary Room -2
• Jun - please go to the Diary Room

Miscellaneous

• Thank you - 1
• Thank you - 2
• ...guests - Eviction Voting will begin in one hour (for some reason, the word "Houseguests got clipped when played)
• Houseguests - The lockdown is over. Please lift the solid outside shades.
• Jun - Please remove the protective window covers. (Those are screens that cover the windows by the basketball court to protect the glass from errant shots)

Well, we're still at the Mooloolaba Yacht Club in Australia, site of last week's Clown Carnage and The Chipsters Penalty.

David and Jeff depart at 10:41pm. Teams must now more than 80 miles to the town of Ferny Hills, find the Australian Woolshed and search through one of these giant piles of wool for their next clue. The teams get $1 for this leg of the race. Guess there's no cabs, no hotels - no international travel this leg. Jon and Kelly depart at 10:59pm. Reichen and Chip depart at 11:33pm. (wow, Jon & Al must have finished around noon then). Ferny Hills must be small because teams are having trouble finding it - in the case of Kelly & Jon, even with a map. Team Who? arrives at the Woolshed first, and find that the Hours of Operation are 6am to 4pm, Team Mean (Kelly & Jon) arrive 2nd, the Chipsters arrive last. All decide to sleep in their SUV's until the morning (they have about 4 hours). I have to call them Team Mean only because they're mean to each other and what they say behind the backs of the other teams (and, at times, to their faces) is just mean. So, the teams are all bunched-up again when the gates open at 6am and the teams take off. OK, there are sheep and Wallabies here? What kind of place is this? They take off sprinting trough the facility and find a shed with three huge piles of wool. The teams rip through the piles. For once, the producers really took their time and really camouflaged and buried the clues. This wasn't easy. Jon find the clue, and he and Kelly quietly run away and open it away from the others. Teams must now drive themselves to Brisbane Airport and fly more than 1,000 miles to the city of Cairns. When they land, they'll chose one of these cars (looks like Toyota Land Cruisers) and drive to Wild World Tropical Zoo , where they'll find their next Route Marker. Team Mean takes-off. The boys keep looking. Team Who winds up going back through their piles because they missed the clue. Reichen finds their clue, whispers that he has it, and The Chipsters leave. Team Who still searches.

Team Who? finally find the clue and leave. Kelly & Jon pull into the Thrifty Car Rental parking lot at the airport (Thrifty has Mercedes SUV's?) at about 6:55am. They go inside to Qantas Ticketing and get on the 7:45 flight to Cairns. The other teams show-up and they all get tickets for the same 7:45am flight. At the Cairns Airport (which looks like it had just rained) the teams jump into their SUV's and take off. They tailgate each other down the highway. Kelly & Jon, in the lead, use a woman in a silver car to help box-in the other teams from passing. Jon narrates that this is getting to Chip (who is driving and trying to get around him) and the says the title of the show in reference to Chip. They find Wild World and park by the marker. There are 3 numbered tags on the Route Marker box (obviously to claim who does a task first, second, third). The clue is this year's product placement task: Teams must now follow the marked path to the crocodile pen. One team member will chose a feeding stick and feed a fish to the 15-foot crocodile named Sultan while the other teammate takes a picture with a Kodak Easyshare Digital Camera. Only one Team may perform this task at a time. Once Sultan has been fed and the picture had been taken, teams must find the souvenir shop, where they'll develop their picture at a Kodak printer dock and receive their next clue. (OK, we'll ignore the reference to "develop" a digital camera image. They're just printing them.) Kelly & Jon, the ones that pulled #1, leave with a curator. But now we see a table next to the Route Marker box that has 3 digital cameras on it. We see the other two teams. Then we see one camera on the table. David says to Jeff, as they're walking down the path "don't let them see this" and they hide the camera. Jeff realizes, as they walk behind Kelly & Jon that they don't have a camera! Team Mean get to the croc pen and we hear Kelly say "Where's the camera? Jon. Jon! Don't have the camera." They take the humbling walk back to the Route Marker. In an argument on the way Kelly asks Jon why he's blaming her. Oh, I don't know, maybe because she's taking the picture and she would need a camera for that. I don't know. Maybe it's just me. So, David feeds Sultan while Jeff takes the picture and they run to the souvenir shop. Chip feeds Sultan, Reichen takes the picture, and they're on their way to the souvenir shop. David & Jeff have docked their camera and are reading the instructions on how to print. Team Mean is back at the croc pen with the camera. Jon feeds Sultan, Kelly takes the picture and they leave. (I don't understand why the curator throws something like a small rock at the croc first - probably to get his attention.) Reichen at the souvenir stand docks his camera in the printing station. Jon gets there and docks his camera. Reichen looks puzzled, and he re-docks the camera. Team Who? gets their picture printed. The back of the paper says Make your way to Wangetti Beach for your next clue. Phil explains it anyway: Teams must now drive themselves 15 miles to secluded Wangetti Beach where they'll find their next Route Marker. Thanks, Phil. David & Jeff leave, followed by Kelly & Jon. Reichen finally figures out how to print an image and The Chipsters leave. (Here's a map for you - the zoo was in Palm Cove and they have to go to Wangetti Beach). Team Who? hits the beach, get the clue and find that it's a Detour - "Saddle" or "Paddle". Phil, over to you: In "Saddle", teams must explore this one-and-a-half mile stretch of beach on horseback and find one of four Race flags. They'll then search within a 25-yard radius for a cluster of clue envelopes. However, only one of the clusters contains the actual clue; the other three instruct teams to try again. The task won't be physically demanding, but searching the beach for the right cluster could take a long time. In "Paddle" teams have to inflate their own kayak and then paddle to an orange buoy to get their next clue. The task requires a good deal of energy, but the clue will be easy to find. Team Who? choses "Saddle". Kelly thinks they just past the turn-off for the beach. Guess what? The Chipsters pull into the beach parking area, get the clue and chose "Saddle". Jon pulls up to a road construction flagman and find out they've gone too far and have to turn around. Surprised? I didn't think so.

David & Jeff go to the right (south?) and Chip and Reichen go to the left (north?) down the beach. The Chipsters find a cluster, but it's not the real ones. The go further down the beach to another marker. It's another "Sorry. Try Again.". Team Who? finds a flag, find the cluster of clues, and actually find the correct cluster! Teams must now drive themselves 35 miles to the town of Julatten and look for Off Road Rush, an adventure sports company where they'll find their next Route Marker. Kelly & Jon pull into the beach parking area. They also choose "Saddle". They also notice that The Chipsters are coming from left, passing them, and going to the right. Team Mean actually see this and deduce that the clue has to be to the right since The Chipsters must not have found it to the left. Team Who? and The Chipsters pass each other on the beach. It seams that Team Who? isn't the greatest riding horses, but they're te first ones that leave the beach. The Chipsters get their clue and leave. Well, they try to leave, but Chip drives the SUV over Reichen's foot while they're still in the parking area (Chip started the car while in gear and without having the clutch engaged. Nice going. Drive a manual much?) We then see the first name-calling argument between the boys. Twelve legs of the race and this is their first argument. Team Mean can't get through 12 minutes. Speaking of them, Team Mean gets their clue and leaves. The Chipsters don't know where they're going, so Chip goes up to someone's house to ask for directions. Kelly & Jon try to do the same other other drivers. Team Who? finds the little sign for Off Road Rush and make the turnoff. At the Route Marker, they find that it's a Roadblock. In this Roadblock, one team member has to choose a race buggy and, along with a racing instructor, drive as fast as they can along a muddy and bumpy 7-mile course. As soon as they make it back to their partner, they'll be given their next clue. David gets suited-up and drives off. He did a really good job at a good rate of speed. Jon is still looking for directions to Julatten. The Chipsters find the turn-off. Chip decides to do the Roadblock. David hits the finish line in great shape, and gets the next clue from his instructor before he leaves the vehicle. Teams must now drive 50 miles to Ellis Beach. This picturesque beach at the edge of the Coral Sea is the Pit Stop for this leg of the race. They drive off, but David has to readjust to driving the SUV instead of the buggy! Chip suits-up, gets in his buggy and takes off. It's like he doesn't know how to drive - he's all over the track. He barely keeps it on the marked dirt. He plows into a line of small trees along the right-side of a stretch of track and totally busts-up the steering. Team Who? is still driving back to the highway. The company sends a new buggy out to Chip so that he can complete the task, which he somehow does. Team Mean passes The Chipsters on the way in to Off Road Rush. Team Mean pulls the Roadblock clue at the Route Marker.Even tough Kelly really really really really really wants to do it (after all, it's her turn), Jon does it. The last thing Kelly says is "Be careful, Jon" as he spits out of the starting area. Yes, spits. He popped the clutch and stalled the buggy. More than once. He finally leaves. and he's a maniac. He's more like David than Chip, tough - it looks like he's in control at least. Jon screams into a tight left-hand turn and... the buggy rolls over!!! Kelly is screaming "Oh my God!!! Oh my God!!!" in a pitch that only dogs could hear. Crew people start running with walkie talkies into the dust cloud. There's a quick shot of a helmeted Jon trapped in the vehicle and then... commercial.

When we're back, we have an overhead shot from the helicopter camera and you can see how many people are running to to the crash site. People help Jon crawl out of the buggy and he's laughing his ass off! He's unscathed. Kelly is screaming "Jon! Why did you do that!" and she runs over and hits him! "What's wrong with you!" The crew rights the buggy and Jon climbs right back in. Of course, we don't see the instructor do that right away. He's probably trying to figure out if he wants to do this again. As they scream off, Kelly yells "Babe! Please be careful! I need you to win the million bucks!" Team Who? pulls into Ellis Beach and the run across the sand to The Amazing Bathmat. Phil proclaims that they're "Team Number 1" and they win a vacation to Europe compliments of American Airlines' website "which you can enjoy after the race". Phis now does post arrival interviews for the teams. We see Jon finish his task. He's still laughing and giggling like a schoolgirl. Kelly takes the clue and reads it. Kelly narrates that Jon is doing all of the things he wanted to do before he got married and "all this race did was help me out!" Chip asks Reichen "Am I that bad of a driver?" to which Reichen replies "I'm not answering." The Chipsters pull into te parking area and "look for Phil". More interviews. Kelly and Jon pull in and jog up the sand to Phil who tells them that they're the last team and this is not an elimination leg (big surprise). Kelly then tells Phil: "We came to one very sad conclusion today, that we cannot have children because we do not want them to inherit our stupidity." Another big surprise.

Next week: so here we are - the final leg (of what may be the FINAL BROADCAST OF THE AMAZING RACE if CBS doesn't get it's act together!!!)

Well, I was at a baseball game tonight, but I had purchased a new Sony Walkman that has a TV band, so I listened to the show from my seat (trust me - it was more entertaining than watching the ball game). The twist for tonight is that the Eviction Voting (which is usually done in the house sometime on Tuesday) was done live on the show (with houseguests going into the Diary Room and casting their votes). Nathan was voted out 5-0. Then came the Head of Household competition - the "Steel Cage Match". It's a little convoluted, but basically it's an endurance challenge - stand in a cage with your housemates and be the last one standing. No food, no drink, no sleep. This started around 10 minutes before the hour (that would be about 6:50 BBT - Big Brother Time, which would be Pacific Time). The show ends, so to follow the competition, you had to go online and watch the live feeds.
Update: What did you miss? Well, around 10:17 BBT Jun finally can't take it anymore and asks Jack for his shirt which she wraps around her waist to cover her butt as she pulls down her pants to pee. Yes, she peed live on the web. At around 11:17 BBT Alison borrows Jacks shirt and pees as well. Ew. Just a few minutes later, Robert leaves the cage, says he has a migraine, goes inside and starts swearing about Jack being ready to fall and in general being his normal pissy self (if you ever watched the live feeds, you know what I'm talking about). At 11:35 BBT Jun leaves the cage. Not sure why. Now comes a lot of negotiating and strategizing with those people left in the cage. At 1:19AM BBT Jack leaves the cage, followed just 4 minutes later by Jee, and one minute later Alison leaves. Erika is the last in the cage and wins HOH.

Oh, well, it's the beginning of a sad episode for certain fans...

Teams are still at the Pit Stop at Gyeongbokgung Palace. Kelly & Jon depart at 3:46am. Teams must now make their way across Seoul to Hangang People's Park on Yeouido Island were locals go to fly traditional Korean kites. Once there, they must pull on the string that is attached to a marked pedestal. This will release the clue that's attached to the kites flying overhead. Jon & Kelly try to find a cab driver that speaks English. Reichen & Chip depart the Pit Stop at 3:55am. They, too, try to find and English-speaking driver. Kelly decides they should go to a hotel for help. The Chipsters settle for a cab driver they think knows were Yeouido Island is. Jon & Al leave the Pit Stop at 4:04am. They get a cab driver right away that speaks "perfect English". Kelly & Jon go to the Koreana Hotel and ask for directions at Registration. They get directions on a map and go outside to the doorman, who's standing next to 2 Korean drunks that are mock-fighting each other, and get a cab. Jon & Al see the kites illuminated in the night sky. Chip & Reichen see the kites as well, and Chip is flipping out, trying to get his driver to turn and get over to the beach that the kites are flying from. He's slamming his hand against the window and yelling "Hurry!!! I'm not going to pay you!!!" Jon & Al run onto the beach and start to tug on the line. The Chipsters arrive as Chip exasperatedly say "Just let me out! You speak no English - I shouldn't give you any money! Speak English!" What the hell??? You are in Korea, you idiot! Nice reinforcement of the ugly American stereotype! Jon & Al's clue floats to the ground in the night. Teams must now travel nearly 7,000 miles to Brisbane, Australia. When they land, they'll have to make their way to the Brisbane Holiday Inn, check-in with the concierge and be escorted to a penthouse suite. The Chipsters are on the beach and pull down their clue. Kelly and Jon see the kites from their cab. The Chipsters read their clue. The Clowns get a cab. The Chipsters get a cab and Chip tells the driver "Go-go-go-go-go!!!" before they even get inside, and "Quick-quick-quick-quick-quick!!!" as the sit down. Kelly & Jon hit the island. John starts pulling on a rope. In the background, you can hear someone say "ooooh no..." and that's when you realize Jon is pulling down the kites! What's worse? The string breaks!!!!! Kelly says "That sucks." Jon laughs as you can see the other kites rise further in the air. David & Jeff leave the Pit Stop at 5:15am. Jon realizes he was pulling on the wrong string and finds the marked one and they get their clue and leave. Jon & Al arrive at the airport. Team Who? arrives and pulls down their clue. Jeff hand David the Fast Forward as they read the clue and leave. Back in Kelly * Jon's taxi, you realize that some really bad fog has rolled in and you can barely see the road in front of you. Back at the airport, Jon is making phone calls to a 24-hour travelers network to get the best flight to Brisbane, which is a Korean Airlines flight to Singapore and then on to Brisbane. The Chipsters hit the airport and realize there are two flights - the Korean Air and a Singapore Air flight. Chip goes up to Korean Air ticket counter and requests booking on the flights. The counter books fro both Korean and Singapore Airlines and they find out the Singapore Airlines flight gets in earlier. Kelly & Jon show up as The Chipsters are at the counter. Jon comes up and tells the agent "Could I have exactly what they have?" Kelly laughs an evil laugh. Jon says he wants their ticket pointing to The Chipsters. Jon then says to Reichen to title of the show. The teams wonder where The Clowns are. In the meantime, The Clowns are at the Korean Air terminal, watching it getting brighter outside in the dense fog, wondering where the other teams are. Team Who? arrives and gets the Singapore flight. Lots of shots of the fog outside and teams worried about the fog. The fog starts to lift, and the Singapore flight starts to board. Jon calls Al over to the window to show that what he thinks is their plane is in a holding box on the tarmac, behind the plane that is currently at the gate. They have only 2 hours to make the connecting flight and they find out from a pilot of their flight that the departure is delayed by at least two hours. The Singapore Air flight leaves at 2pm and it's already boarding (as we know). We see the other teams sit down in their seats on the plane. The clowns negotiate tickets and get to the gate, but find out that because they are late - they are being denied access to the plane for security reasons. The door closes, the plane pushes back and The Clowns are left in Korea.

The Clowns are now really stressed. They negotiate a flight that is a direct flight to Brisbane. The Clowns start, well, clowning to lighten the mood. (Now, based on other detective work from other websites, this direct flight actually gets The Clowns to Brisbane one 30 minutes behind the rest of the teams.) The teams are shown queuing-up to leave their plane in Brisbane and are talking about not knowing where The Clowns are. The door opens and there's a mad sprint outside - except for Kelly because Jon is still on the plane somewhere. Team Who? grabs a van and they're off to the Fast Forward. In this Fast Forward, teams must drive an hour away to a beach (in Caloundra City) and pass a local lifeguard test. After paddling surfboards through the heavy surf, they must pull a swimmer out of the water and return her safely to the beach before they can claim the Fast Forward award. Reichen & Chip get a taxi at the airport (at least they shouldn't have a language problem here...) Jon finally meets up with Kelly, who finds out that taking a train is faster than a taxi to get into the city. The hotel happens to be at the transit center. Jon gloats over the traffic that their train is passing over. The Chipsters hit the hotel first, followed by Kelly & Jon. The elevator opens on the 17th floor, and a quick walk through the Penthouse Suite door puts then - out on a patio outside, overlooking the city. The Route Marker is here. The clue is a Detour - "Face First" or "Foot First". "In "face First", teams put on safety gear, step out onto the ledge of the building, and do an Australian, or Face First, rappel right off the ledge of the building 200 feet down, one team member at a time. It's a terrifying task, but if they muster the guts, they can finish it fast. In "Foot First" teams must spot the building with the race flag on top. (it's the Sheraton Brisbane) Then, they must travel on foot down the stairs, walk all the way to the building and climb up 30 stories to the roof where the Route Marker is waiting. There's nothing scary about the task, but traveling all the way on foot could tire them out and take a really long time. The Chipsters and Kelly & Jon decide "Face First". Kelly worries about her hand, which is still a mess since the board breaking last week.(she can't make a fist). The Clowns arrive in Brisbane. Team Who is still on their way to the beach. Chip & Jon go over the side and rappel down. Kelly gets nervous. Team Who? hits the beach, grabs two lifeguard long-boards and paddle into the surf with 2-4 foot waves out about 150 feet to the victim. They absolutely struggle trying to get the female victim on the board. On the roof, a worker comes up to Kelly, says "Welcome to Australia" and shakes her hand which now becomes more painful. Reichen & Kelly go over the edge. Reichen just walks down the side of the building. Kelly thinks she's not heavy enough to do this. Kelly comes to a planter at the side of the building, gets stuck, and freaks out and just about loses it.

Reichen gets down, Kelly is spinning. She's afraid. She's eventually down. In tears, she says "I didn't like that!". Teams must now chose one of these cars (more Mercedes SUV's. Sponsor?) drive themselves 43 miles to the town of Mooloolaba and find UnderWater World. Once they arrive, they'll follow the marked path to their next Route Marker. The Chipsters leave, but Reichen can't find the town on a map. Back at the beach, Team Who is still struggling to get the victim onto a surfboard. They seem to be continually dumping her off the side or rolling the board over. They finally get the "solid girl" onto the board and paddle in. They win the Fast Forward and must now drive themselves to the Pit Stop - the Mooloolaba Yacht Club, "a legendary haven for Australia's famed yachtsmen". The Clowns arrive at the hotel. Jon goes over the edge first and makes it - Al looks a bit worried. Turns out, The Chipsters didn't get a map and are trying to find UnderWater World by themselves. The next shot is Kelly reading a map as they approach the exit on the freeway for UnderWater World. Al is struggling to come to grips with going over the edge, but he finally does it and makes it. The Chipsters catch up and both teams find parking spaces at the same time and run into the facility. The Route Marker is a Roadblock - "Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water". In this Roadblock one team member has to put on scuba gear and cross a tank and grab a clue in a treasure chest. While this task might seem easy, consider this: the tank is home to rogue's gallery of sea creatures including 100 sharks. Man, these sharks are huge! Then again, this is Australia. Reichen & Jon decide to go. One piece of information is overheard as they get their instructions from a handler off-camera: And you're not allowed to stand on the sharks underwater. Otherwise, they'll bite you. Great. Another one: Put your arms together. You must stay like that because you can't trust the animals' behavior. Whoo boy. Jon is first in. OK, they're not swimming. They're weighted-down, so the walk across the bottom, holding their hands clasped together to their chests. Reichen, still above water, says "I asked him if the sharks bite and he said "let's just go'". Jon gets buzzed by a stingray and gets to the treasure chest and grabs the clue. Kelly, outside the tank, has been watching and trying to wave to him. Reichen is moving slower than Jon, and the cross paths just a a huge shark swims by. Reichen is more tentative and definitely more scared than Jon. Reichen slips a little, and instinctively throws his arms out to tread water to stabilize himself - just as another huge shark is swimming up!!!! Could this be it???? The first shark mauling on network television????? His arms are flailing as the shark comes up behind him - Kelly & Chip are yelling at him to put his arms back! And then... commercial!!! Damn.

Ok, so Reichen rights himself, clasps his hand together and the shark swims on by. Damn. Jon gets out of the tank. Reichen gets to the Treasure Chest and gets the clue. Jon & Kelly are together as Jon gets dressed. Kelly reads the clue. Teams must now race on foot to a nearby marina and find the Mooloolaba Yacht Club, the Pit Stop of this leg of the race. The last team to check-in here will be eliminated. Kelly emphasizes to Jon the words "on foot", and they start jogging. David & Jeff have found the yacht club, as they're parking their SUV in the parking lot. To run onto The Amazing Bathmat and are greeted by a blonde with a white sash, so she looks like a "Miss something". Phil proclaims Team Who? as Team Number One, and that they're one of the three teams racing for the $1 million prize. Oh, they also win a vacation to "exotic Mexico" compliments of American Airlines' website "which you can enjoy after the race". Reichen finally comes up out of the water and they're off. Kelly & Jon find someone who knows where the yacht club is (straight down the road they're on). Reichen & Chip leave the building, with Kelly and Jon already passed them. They start to run after them. Jon asks Kelly if there's any additional info. She says they have to go on foot. Notice how they're emphasizing something here. Chip insists that they should drive. Reaching the SUV Chip is just saying "c'mon - let's go - I've made a decision." Yep, they're going to violate the rules of the clue. Chip pulls out of the parking place. Jon & Kelly are running. Reichen says to Chip they may pass them on foot. Jon & Al reach UnderWater Room. Al will do the Roadblock. The next shot is of Al, hands clasped together, in the tank, waiting for a shark to cross right in front of him. Jon is trying to tell Al to "duck under him, just duck under!" Al nods back a definite "No". Kelly and Jon are now walking and Jon says "I can see the Pit Stop". They start to jog. The Chipsters pass Kelly & Jon as Kelly says "Chip & Reichen! They didn't walk! Jon they got here before us - they didn't walk!" Chip pulls the SUV into the parking lot. The two of them bail out and run around the place, up the stairs and onto the mat. Now, Phil has a few words for them: "Reichen & Chip - you're the second team to arrive. (they celebrate) However, (they stop and turn to Phil with that look of "Huh?) you chose to drive to the Pit Stop and the clue clearly states that you need to walk, (now the audio goes into a post production voice-over by Phil) so you've been assessed a penalty of 5 minutes for the time you've gained by driving the short distance, and an additional penalty of 30 minutes for the mistake. (back live). Your penalty is 35 minutes. You'll have to wait and see if the two remaining teams arrive here within 35 minutes.If they do, you'll be eliminated." YEAH!!! WOOO HOOO!!! The Chipsters are penalized. Come on Clowns! Kelly & Jon run in an Phil has news for them: "Kelly & Jon - You're the third team to arrive. However, (voice over again... I wonder how they handled it live way back when?) due to a penalty given to Reichen & Chip, you're Team Number 2." Al gets the clue out of the treasure chest. Al & Jon meet up again topside and read their clue. They run in, up the stairs, and walk onto the mat. here it is - the big news: "Jon & Al (Phil Keoghan patented long pause here) you're the last team to arrive.Now you do need to know that one of the other teams made a mistake and received a penalty (Jon & Al look at each other, and painfully giggle. Al wipes his eyes) However, the penalty was not enough to put them behind. So I'm sorry to tell you that you both have been eliminated from the race."

NNNOOOOOOOooooooooo!!!!!!! Not The Clowns!!!! Damn you Chipsters! Damn You All To Hell!!!!! These guys enjoyed the journey so much and played the game so hard, they deserve to be in the final three.

Next week: It's the final three - no more eliminations, it's the final run to the finish (OK, the start of the run to the finish since that's in two weeks) Kangaroos! Horses! Dune buggies flipping over!!! (Oh, and Chip runs over Reichen's foot with their car.)

This week was pretty bad for the houseguests. First, half of them are on a PB&J diet. Then Dana gets nominated for eviction, becomes the ice queen psycho bitch of the house who seems to be re-writing history. I think everyone knew she needed to go. Then the "3 Stooges" (Jee, Robert and Justin) are feeling pretty good after Justin wins the Head Of Household for the week.

Well, we're still in Borneo. The teams are at the Sepilok Nature Resort, and it's time to depart: Reichen & Chip at 10:26pm, Jon & Al at 12:56am, David & Jeff at 1:11am, and finally Jon & Kelly at 2:42. Teams must now drive themselves to the Puu Jih Shih Buddhist Temple, the largest Buddhist temple in Malaysian Borneo. Once there, they must search through thousands of tiny Buddha figurines for the one with their names on it. Hidden behind that Buddha is a key to a rattan bag, which holds their next clue. The teams get $400 for this leg of the race, so their must be some pricey things coming up. Chip & Reichen get to the temple first, find their Buddha, get their key and open their clue. Teams must now travel 4,000 miles to Seoul, South Korea. When they land, they'll have to find Namsam Park and make their way to the base of the Seoul Tower (Namsam Tower?), where they'll find their next Route Marker.Vans for the airport arrive every 30 minutes starting at 12:00 midnight, but each van can carry only one team. The Boys decide to chill and wait for the van and have time for a prayer in the temple. Then, they're off to the airport. Jon & Al do their thing at the temple, as well as David & Jeff, who exit the temple while The Clowns were still waiting for their van. Kelly & Jon do their thing. Next thing you know it's daytime and we're back at Kota Kinabalu Airport. All of the teams arrive and wind-up booking the same flights - Singapore, and on to Seoul. In Singapore, David & Jeff start making phone calls to airlines for an earlier connection, and find one through Hong Kong which gets them in at 4:55 - an hour earlier. They get on Stand-by. Or, they think they got on Stand-By. Jon & Al show-up and have the same idea. Quick shots of Chip & Reichen eating hamburgers and french fries at the airport. So, it turns out that David and Jeff bought a ticket but didn't "check into their system" whatever that meant. They're upset that they really don't have Stand By so they have a discussion and they can somehow get on the flight. So do Jon & Al. They leave at 7pm to Hong Kong. Meanwhile, the teams waiting for their flight to Seoul, start to wonder what happened to other teams. They depart on their flight at 10:35pm. Sure enough, it's about 5am and the Hong Kong flight arrives in Seoul. The teams have come most of the way around the globe, and it's here in Korea where they start hitting problems with language. No one seems to speak english. The two teams make it, somehow to Seoul Tower Teams must now travel over 50 miles to the rural Sundam Valley, only minutes away from the North Korean border. Once there, they must locate the Route Marker on the bank of the Han-Tan River. Team Who & The Clowns decide to share a van, since it's a bit pricey ($100 one way). The other teams land in Seoul at 5:40am, with Kelly & Jon taking the lead. Both teams pick up their clues and are on their way. Well, actually Chip & Reichen aren't on their way yet - their driver doesn't understand where they need to go (that language barrier again).

Chip & Reichen decide to get a taxi driver to take them to the Grand Hyatt Seoul and then tried to get the workers there (bellmen, concierges) to get them an English-speaking taxi driver - which they sort of get. Meanwhile the two lead teams are now at a gas station trying to get directions. Chip & Reichen's taxi driver now has his hazard flashers on, which somehow means he has an emergency and can actually run red lights. (?) Team Who & The Clowns all of a sudden realize that they are no longer in the valley, they see army tanks, and they're crossing a bridge they were told at the gas station NOT to cross. They are on their way to the DMZ!!!!!! They get their driver to turn around... and are somehow passed by Kelly & Jon!!! Chip & Reichen arrive at Rafting Korea - the first team to arrive - and they're shocked - SHOCKED! Kelly & Jon arrive 2nd. David & Job take the #3 claim ticket, while Jon & Al take #4. They open their clues to find a Roadblock "Which of you has the colder personality?" One Team member must plunge into the frigid water, fight the current, and swim underneath the frozen river to the exit hole. Once their body temperature rises to a safe level, a doctor will clear them to leave and they'll receive their next clue. There's a great little piece here... the clue says that the person has to "strip to their skivvies" to swim. As Chip and Reichen walk toward the river, you can hear Reichen ask "What are skivvies?" The Korean crew now cuts large square holes in the ice with chainsaws. The ice is about 12-18" thick. Damn, this has gotta be cold. The medical staff asks question of Chip as he gets ready. Things like "Have you had a heart attack before? Hearing problems?" And they lead chip out onto the ice - barefoot, of course. Chip just goes right in and swims under the ice. Kelly is astonished and excited to see this. The distance doesn't look too far. This just looks like hell. Chip warms up enough and they get the next clue. Teams must now travel back to Seoul and find Subway Station 228 - one stop among hundreds in the city's maze of subway lines. Somewhere in the crowded station, they'll find their next Route Marker. Chip & Reichen take off in their taxi. Time for Jon and his turn. Kelly runs along the ice with him and helps in the tent. They leave. Jeff is next and his body takes time to warm up. Al is the last guy. I just noticed that they get their clue in a Ziploc bag at the ladder that comes out of the ice. David & Jeff decide to leave, saying that they really need to split-up from The Clowns (saying that sharing the cab was a huge mistake). Now, wait a minute. Jon and Al are getting ready to leave. If David & Jeff left... there's no cab!

Turns out, Team Who? (aka "The Goats") moved the cab, and they decide that they will find another cab, and then they'll split up. Chip & Reichen tell their cab driver that they need to go to Subway Station 228 and somehow the cab driver knows that it's the stop for Seoul University! He obviously knows where he's going. The two Sharing Teams arrive at an intersection that looks IDENTICAL to when they caught up to Kelly & Jon. I need to look at this again on my TiVo... DAMN!!! It's the same scene!!! Not exactly the same scene, this one is actually a piece they cut out between two scenes of the trip there!!! Damn you Jerry Bruckheimmer!!! Anyway, Team Who? gets out of the shared van into a cab. The Clowns take off. The Chipsters run into really bad traffic. They all run into bad traffic. Everyone has the idea just to get to the nearest subway station and they all travel by subway to 228. Kelly & Jon have a little argument about having to get across the river to get to the subway station - as if Jon doesn't believe subways run under rivers. Team Who hits the subway and they're off. Off getting lost again, that is. They get out of the subway, and take a cab to the National University. In the meantime, Kelly & Jon arrive by taxi at Subway Station 228, just as The Chipsters get off the subway train inside Subway Station 228. The Chipsters scour the platform for the Route Marker, which we see through Kelly & Jon is upstairs. They get the clue first and we see that it's a Detour - "Strong Hands' or "Strong Stomach". In "Strong Hands" teams follow a map to a martial arts center. Then, using the ancient art of tae kwon do, each team member must break three sets of wooden planks. Breaking the planks may seem daunting, but if they master the skills they're shown by the instructor, they could finish quickly. In "Strong Stomach" teams follow a map to a restaurant, where team member will have to eat a Korean delicacy. What they'll find out when they get there is that the Korean delicacy is a live octopus. There's no skill required for this task, but teams will finish only as fast as their stomachs allowed. Kelly decides they should "break a board". (I'm ignoring the fact that Jon said that if they went to the restaurant they'd probably be eating "butt lickers".) The Chipsters decide to go to the restaurant. They enter, sit, down, hear chopping in the back room and notice the bowl of live octopus sitting in the middle of the table. Kelly & Jon enter the martial arts center. David & Jeff are having problems with their cab driver, who seems to be doing tai chi in the front seat. Back at the restaurant, the Chipsters get their plates of octopus. The plate is in constant motion - yes, even though it's chopped up, everything still works and still moves!!! Reichen talks about how he tried to chew and swallow it, but its tentacles attached themselves to his teeth!!!! He yanks it out of his mouth, flings it onto his plate and IT CRAWLS OFF!!!! HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!!! Chip starts retching. Jon goes through all three boards, while still fully dresses, including this stupid hat that he wears. Kelly steps up and her first punch doesn't do a thing. You can look into her eyes and see the tears well up. She's hurting. Back at the restaurant, Reichen looks sick and he's slowing down. Chip decides that the best way to handle this is to do this like oyster shooters "like at their wedding". Who has oyster shooters at their wedding? Anyway, they take small bits of octopus and slug it down with cold water. Back at the martial arts center, Kelly breaks a board. She needs to break 5, unfortunately. She goes again and gets through her first stack. She hits the second stack - and cracked the first board. That looked worse than before. She goes again and breaks the stack. A close-up of her hand shows that it's red and raw. The last stack is 7 boards. Jon, trying to motivate her, says the quote that's the title of the show, and miraculously, she drives her hand through the entire stack. They get their clue - "make your way to the next Pit Stop..." Teams must drive across town to Gyeongbokgung Palace, the largest royal residence in all of Seoul. The pavilion on the palace grounds is the Pit Stop for this leg of the race. Waiting for a taxi, you see that Kelly's hand is red, and she's bleeding at the first knuckle on her thumb and index finger. The Clowns arrive via subway at Subway Station 228 and get the clue- The choose "Strong Hands". Back at the restaurant, Reichen finally gets the last pieces of octopus down and they're off to the Pit Stop. David & Jeff arrive via taxi at Subway Station 228 and choose "Strong Stomach". They have no idea. Jon blasts through his first stack of boards, and it actually startles him a bit. He easily gets through the other two stacks. Team Who? arrives at the restaurant for some san-nak-gee They freaked a bit that it was still alive. Jeff says "The tentacles still work, bro." David says "One's, like, climbing off my plate." David: "They suction on your teeth while you're trying to chew 'em." Jeff: "That's a big plate of it, too." David: "Dude, there's like eyeballs and stuff. This is disgusting." Oh, yeah. Panic sets in. They bail and decide to do "Strong Hands". Al takes his first strike at his first stack and blows it. His second try nails it. He sails through the rest, they get the clue, and they're on their way to the Pit Stop. Team Who? makes it to the center, and Jeff goes through his three stacks of boards. David blows his first punch and nails the next three. They're off to the Pit Stop. Chip & Reichen don't like their passive taxi driver. Kelly is bitching at Jon as they get out of their taxi that this isn't it and it's back where they were, and they should have listened to their first instincts. They are running around the palace grounds. The Chipsters arrive and they're off to find The Amazing Bathmat. There comes Jon followed by Kelly on to the mat as Phil tells them "You're Team Number 1". They also win a "vacation to the sunny Caribbean" compliments of American Airline's website "which you can enjoy after the race." The Chipsters find Phil and they're "Team Number 2". It's an edited cab race now. Here come The Clowns as "Team Number 3", as Team Who? walks onto the mat. Phil says: "David & Jeff - you're the last team to arrive. I'm... happy to tell you, however, this is the second of three predetermined non-elimination legs, and you're both still in the race." What, another one????

Next week: Kelly repels face first down a building and Reichen may sleep with the fishes... actually he may be eaten by sharks!

The house is in chaos. They don't like what Nathan did this week. Dana nominated Alison and Jack for eviction. Nathan, who has become very close to Alison, won the Power of Veto and removed her from nomination, forcing Dana (who Jack says in tonight's show has "her brains in her panties" and "has as much sex appeal as a buzzard's crotch" (!)) to put up David. Alison and Nathan realize that they have become the target of the house, and practice non-stop to try to win the Head of Household competition. It's obvious that everyone likes David, but he's a really strong player. By a vote of 5-2, David is evicted from the house. Then, in Dana's own nightmare realized, Alison wins Head of Household. The only thing I feel is good about that is I think she'll get rid of people I don't like. God, these people are young.

The teams leave from Manukan Island in Malaysia. At 2:05am, Jon & Al and Chip & Reichen depart by taking one of those boast they used on the last show to go back to the Boat Jetty in Kota Kinabalu, then grab a taxi to go to Poring Hot Springs 78 miles away and follow the flags to the next route marker by walking a series of rope bridges over 100 feet above the ground.(Oh, and they have $130 for this leg of the race). Millie & Chuck depart at 2:19am. The cab rides are a tad bit treacherous, as cattle have a tendency to sleep in the middle of the roads at night.David & Jeff depart at 2:50am, and Kelly & Jon depart at 3:36am.

Chip & Reichen are the first to arrive at Poring Hot Spring at 5:02am, but the place doesn't open until 6:30am. Jon & Al show up. Millie & Chuck show up. Kelly & Jon... aren't there yet. (There's a shot of Millie, yawning like a rooster, when you can hear the sound of a rooster crowing in the background. Weird.) The gates open at 6:30am and the teams rush in, with Millie & chuck stripping their backpacks and running toward the rope bridges, Chip & Reichen were right behind, followed by The Clowns. THe Road Marker tells then to chose a marked car (another SUV) and drive 145 miles to the Trushidup Palm Oil Plantation. Everyone starts to leave the rope bridges as Kelly & Jon arrive (but wait as Jon has to, um, relieve himself in the bushes before they go in! The groups pass Kelly & Jon on the way out, so they try to backtrack where the people were coming from, but without a lot of luck and get lost. The teams have a lot of problems with fogged-up windshields in the early morning sun. (In fact, the cameraman with David & Jeff had his lens all fogged-up as well). Chip turned on the defroster as soon as they got into the SUV so they were able to pull around the pack that had pulled over trying to clear their windshields. In the meantime, Kelly & Jon are still trying to find flags to follow at the Hot Springs. Millie & Chuck haven't slept well in days, and both of them are falling asleep while driving! Kelly & Jon still can't find flags. Jon runs ahead and yells back to Kelly who's off camera in the jungle "Let's, go Kelly, this is it I can see it." "Shut up!" you can here her yell back. "I see it!" "You do not!" she yells again from the underbrush. Then Jon stops and says slowly "Kelly? Move your ass. Now." Kelly comes running up and they run the rope bridge, get the clue and Kelly tells Jon to "Just open the Fast Forward, don't even bother opening the other thing." We sort of have to wait for Phil to tell us what the Fast Forward says because Jon mangles the words so badly you don't have a clue. Phil starts to tell us what's going on with the Fast Forward when you notice that he's in the middle of the jungle... and there are orangutans on a platform behind him in the distance. To use the Fast Forward, the teams have to drive over 140 miles to the town of Sepilok and find the world famous Sepilok Orangutan Rehabilitation Center, home to last last wild orangutans in northern Borneo. Then they will have to hike deep into the forest to a feeding station, a each has to feed two pieces of fruit to the orangutans to claim the Fast Forward. (hey, you know what? This place looks familiar... I think Julia Roberts was here doing a documentary for PBS a few years ago...) As Kelly runs to the SUV, she says "if somebody claims this, we're screwed. This is it. It's do or die now." Meanwhile, Chip & Reichen realize that they just may have been on the wrong road, and realize that, by accident, they're heading to the Fast Forward, and decide to do it.

In the meantime, Jon & Al have reached the plantation and have found a Detour - "Chop" or "Haul". In "Chop", teams must must use local tools to chop down palm nut bunches with clue envelopes attached. However, for every one envelope with a clue, there are three that are empty. In "Haul", teams must use a wheelbarrow to carry 25 palm nut bunches to a corresponding truck. The nut bunches are sharp and cumbersome, so getting it done could take some time. When their truck is fully loaded, it will drive away revealing their clue. Jon & Al choose "Haul". This looks like hell. The bunches were heavy and had sharp points. Trying to heave these nut bunches into the back of the dump trucks was hard and almost looked dangerous when they would roll back out and fall to the ground.

Millie & Chuck are driving around trying to find the plantation. They stop at any plantation they see, looking for directions. She can't read maps well (and she isn't driving) so they're just not sure where they're going, even after they get directions. David & Jeff pull into the plantation, and didn't see a route marker box. Well, there's a good reason for that as Jon & Al found out - the clues are in a wheelbarrow in the middle of the road. David & Jeff drove right on by and had to turn around. They stop by THe Clowns and ask "Hey, Dudes, where's the clue?" Al points straight ahead and says "Right up there, off to the right". The drive right buy - again They yell out "Al! Where?" Where?" "On the wheelbarrow" which is now behind them. "The first wheelbarrow?" "The green one!" I think they finally saw it behind the SUV. They get out "Oh, this one!" and mention that Jon & Al were really cool in helping them. They also choose "Haul". Jon & Al get their 25 bunches loaded and get a clue - using their map they have to drive 35 miles to Gomantong Caves for the next Route Marker.Kelly & Jon are still driving to the Fast Forward. Chip & Reichen arrive at the Sanctuary and hike 20 minutes into the forest.

Millie & Chuck arrive at the plantation. Millie wants to do "Haul", and they start to do it. After getting one bunch loaded in the dump truck, Chuck doesn't think they could do this. And go to see what "Chop" is all about. After a quick try at chopping palm branches (a very quick try), Chuck decides they should do "Haul".

Chip & Reichen arrive at the orangutan feeding station, and were able to feed the orangutans. They get their Fast Forward pass and now have to go to the Sepilok Nature Resort. Hmmm... that sounds like it's right there. Millie & Chuck ar trying to work together. Millie wants to help by tossing nut bunches to Chuck, but they're pretty damn sharp and spiny, so Chuck doesn't want her doing that.Millie wants to do everything fast. Chuck heaves a nut bunch onto the dump truck which rolls off and almost kills their cameraman. They finally get their 25 bunches loaded and get their clue and leave.

Kelly and Jon arrive at Sepilok as Kelly is trying to teach Jon how to pronounce "orangutan". They pull up, go to the baskets of fruit... and find a red tag that says "SORRY Fast Forward Taken - Pick Up the Race where you left off". Whoo boy. They climb back into the SUV and drive off as Kelly says "You're always right, I'm always wrong. We're done. *sigh*" To which, Jon, who's had enough of this, lashes back with "Kelly, go f*** yourself!" Kelly is all "What did you just say to me? What did you just say to me? I'll tell you what, Jon, you're walking a thin line. This was a chance that we decided to take, but YOU will not talk to me like that." She throws the map and gets out of the car. Wait - where are they that she could just walk off on him??? After a commercial break, she's back in the car and they're driving through the Malaysian jungle. They're still fighting, though. Jon is the person that says the title of the show.

Somehow, Millie & Chuck go down the road in the opposite direction of the sign for the Gomantong Caves. Since the only see the backside of the sign, they continue down the road in the wrong direction. Jon & Al pull into the cave parking lot and run inside. They get to the Route Marker and find a Roadblock - "It's time for the ladder part of the race." In this Roadblock, [that] person has to climb one of [these] two traditional rattan ladders to a point where they will be dangling 50 feet above the stone floor of the cave. Locals do this to collect birds' nests to make Birds Nest Soup. The teams will be doing it to get [this] basket and retrieve a clue from inside. Al says Jon will do it. Jon goes up the ladder, but the rungs ar far apart and he says in a voice-over that there's so many birds in the cave, that the rungs are slippery from the bird poop. Great.
David & Jeff arrive at the road to the caves, making sure there wasn't a Route Marker box that they missed. Jon gets the clue and gets down the ladder. The clue says to drive to the Pit Stop, the Sepilok Nature Resort. Phil shows the place, and there's even the obligatory zoom-in to The Amazing Bathmat. Jon & Al pass David & Jeff ("The Goats") on their way in. Chip & Reichen find their way to the Pit Stop. Phil tells them they're "Team Number 1" and they've won a vacation to "festive Latin America" (and where exactly is that?) from American Airline's website that they can enjoy after the race. David & Jeff hit the Roadblock, with David doing the climbing.

Millie & Chuck cross a bridge over a river and Chuck asks Millie if she sees water on the map, and they have to stop and try to get more directions. Kelly & Jon make it to the plantation. Kelly wants to do "Haul" and forces Jon to do it. David gets out onto the ladder and get their next clue. Kelly & Jon have a discussion about putting the nut bunches "in the appropriate truck". Their wheelbarrow says "5" and Kelly says that the truck says "C". Well, yes, it says "C" all right - right next to the hand printed "5". They look for another truck. They leave the wheelbarrow and go cut some palm branches. The first nut bunch they drop has a "Try Again" inside the clue envelope. Millie & Chuck are still lost, still asking locals for help. Jon drops the second nut bunch and they get a real clue. They start driving to the caves. Millie and Chuck ar now driving in the correct direction and see the sign that they passed hours ago. Chuck even asks "Isn't this where we came out?" They realize just how much time they've killed by going the wrong way. All of a sudden, Millie & Chuck and Kelly & Jon arrive at the caves at the same time and the adrenaline kicked-in. Everyone ran to the Roadblock. Jon & Chuck head up the ladders at the same time. In the meantime, Jon and Al arrive at the Pit Stop as "Team Number 2". Jon gets down the ladder first and the two teams run their asses off to their SUV's. Kelly & Jon are pumped.

Millie & Chuck don't know where they're going. They follow Kelly and Jon. Millie is almost crying as she pleads with Chuck to read the map because she can't do it. David & Jeff arrive as "Team Number 3" at the Pit Stop. Kelly & Jon try to shake Millie & Chuck by passing other traffic, and Chuck has trouble shifting. Millie gets her inhaler out and they get ready for a final sprint. THey hit the resort and there's a sprint.

The music swells, and here comes Kelly & Jon as "Team Number 4".

The mind starts reeling... At the beginning of the show, you realize Phil did it again - "Who will be eliminated... next." Every time some one reads the clue to get themselves to the Pit Stop, not one of them says "last team checking in will be eliminated". Phil doesn't say that that the last team arriving at the pit stop will be eliminated.

But then you realize that Phil has been saying the teams are "Team Number 1" and not "you're the first to arrive" like last week. Huh? What? Wait! And then Millie and Chuck arrive last and Phil tells them that they've been eliminated from the race!!!!

Next week: Swimming under ice in Korea, Reichen eats live baby octopus and Jon & Al take a wrong turn and pass a line of tanks on the way to the North Korean border!!!! AAAAUUUUURRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

Note to Big Brother 4 houseguests: You idiots - a pawn is never safe. You've got a big friggin' chess set on the basketball court outside and you all should know this by now. Tonight, by a vote of 6-2. Michelle Maradie, the pretty 19 year old college student from Boca Raton, Florida is evicted from the house. *sigh* She was great eye candy and everyone told her she was "safe", but a pawn is never safe. Forget setting your sights on Dana, who won HOH tonight and is safe for a week. How about getting rid of Robert and Jee? Maybe Justin as well. All three need to go.

There it was in the open... Phil's words: "Who will be eliminated... next." Ah HA! Is there an elimination tonight? If there was, Phil's words are usually: "Who will be eliminated... tonight."

The teams are still in Alleppey enjoying their pit stop when... WBBM butts-in to tell us about Tornado Warnings and Severe Thunderstorm Warnings! I have no idea what's happening in the show, since the local weatherman is trying to tell us to duck and cover. This also means that my DirecTV reception is going to degrade during the show and who knows what I'll miss.

The show comes back and the teams are sitting around yakking about themselves. Jon (of Kelly & Jon) thinks it's great that he's sitting next to 29-year-old virgins! Sounds like there was talking about Chip & Reichen's relationship.

Team Who? (David & Jeff) depart at 4:02am with $120 to fly over 5,000 miles to Kota Kinabalu in Malaysia and make their way to the Monsopiad Cultural Village for their next clue. Teams Clowns (Jon & Al) depart at 4:06am, in the middle of a thunderstorm. Kelly & Jon depart at 4:16am, Millie & Chick depart at 4:16am (the same minute?) and Reichen & Chip depart at 4:17am.David and Jeff hit the International Terminal at the airport (Cochin Airport?) and talk to a local who tells them to take Jet Airways back to Mumbai and surely you can get a flight to Malaysia from there, so they go to the domestic terminal. When Kelly & Jon get to the International Terminal, Kelly says: "Look - there's the goats!" (referring to David & Jeff) and follow them. David & Jeff at the Domestic Terminal find out that ticketing (which is a window outside of the terminal) opens at 6:30. Team Clowns show up at the domestic terminal. Chip & Reichen go to a back office of Air India to book their flights. Millie & Chuck arrive and hang outside of the office and try to eavesdrop on the booking arrangements being made inside. Millie gets pushed-out of the office by Reichen who's trying to shove the door shut.

Back at domestics, there's a short argument with locals trying to butt-in in line. Chip & Reichen have to go to the domestic terminal to book their arrangements. Millie & Chuck follow. The three teams at the Domestic terminal are all on the 8:30am flight to Mumbai. Millie & Chuck duck into the Domestic Terminal, see Team Clowns, and yell to Al "What flight are you taking?" and Al actually tells them.

Chip is at that Domestic ticket window asking if they can book a flight from Madras to Kuala Lumpur on Malaysian Airlines, and find out they can't (they're not helpful if the flights aren't with Jet Airways or Air India). Chip asks for a Travel Agent. They meet, he'll call his office and have the tickets issued. His office is an hour away in Cochin. If this whole ting works, they could get in before all the other teams.

The 8:30 flight leaves. Chip and Reichen and the Travel Agent arrive at his office - which is closed. They're waiting for someone to show up. When they finally look at the 12:20 flight that they were counting on - it was fully booked.

Meanwhile, everybody arrives in Mumbai and split-up. Kelly & Jon book a flight to Singapore. Millie & Chuck wind up doing the same. Jon & Al go to Kuala Lumpur. David and Jeff go to Singapore.

Back in Cochin, Chip & Reichen book a flight from Cochin to Kuala Lumpur and then everyone is in the air.

Kelly & Jon hit singapore at about 12:30am and they had to wait for their flight at 10:05am. The slept a full 8 hours on the carpet. Millie and Chuck are also in Singapore but they think there has to be an earlier flight. Millie starts calling around and gets a better flight at 8:40am

David and Jeff arrive in Singapore in the morning. Millie & Chuck arrive in Kuala Lumpur and then they see Chip & Reichen. Jon & Al are there as well, and they're on the same flight. They arrive in Malaysia and make their way to the cultural center, where they will receive a traditional good luck blessing and their next clue. Though Jon & Al's taxi pulled up first, Millie & Chuck are the first out of their cab. Chip & Reichen's driver misses the turn and can't turn around because it's a one way road and has to go kilometers out of the way to get back.

An elderly princess comes out to bless Millie & Chuck and Millie is scared and is freaking out, obviously because this just doesn't go along with their Christian beliefs (like "they could be putting a voodoo chant on us"). They receive the clue to make their way to the Kota Kinabalu Boat Jetty, where they will have to take a marked boat out to a fishing trawler to find their next clue.

Team Clowns take in the ceremony and look at it as a time to pause and reflect on their surroundings and what's going on - a pretty damn healthy way to approach the game!

The other teams finally arrive in Malaysia.

Chip & Reichen enjoy the ceremony, like they were getting married all over again.

Millie and Chuck grab a boat and go out to the fishing trawler. David and Jeff get their blessing and clue. Jon & Al hit the boat terminal. Millie and Chuck get to the trawler and find that it's a Detour - "Net" and "Trap" In "Net", teams have to take their boat to [this] fishing platform and use a net to catch 15 fish out of [these] marked pens in order to receive their next clue. The task doesn't require strength, but catching fish with a pole net requires a lot skill. In "Trap", teams must take their boat to [this] group of lobster boats. Then, they'll have to pull one of these weighted lobster traps up to get the clue inside. There's not much skill involved in lugging the traps out of the water, but raising the traps will require a good deal of brute force.

Millie & Chuck chose "Trap". Jon & Al chose "Trap" Kelly & Jon get blessed.

Millie & Chuck arrive at... the fishing platform? Huh? The boat driver drove them to the wrong place. So, they decided to do "Net" instead. Jon & Al get to a lobster trawler and start pulling. Chip & Reichen decide to do "Trap". Millie and Chuck decide to go into the fishing pens to help get more fish! Great scene where Millie is trying to put a fish into her basket and the graphic on the screen says MILLIE & CHUCK 4 Fish Caught and then you see this fish just jump right out of their basket , Millie yells "Shoot!" and the graphic changes to MILLIE & CHUCK 3 Fish Caught! Jon & Al are still hauling up the trap and get the next clue - "Have your boat driver take you to Manukan Island..." to the next Route Marker.

Chip & Reichen show up at... the fishing platform? Huh? Yes, their boat driver got mixed-up as well. They get back in their boat to go to a lobster trawler, and start hauling up a lobster trap..

Millie is working with the basket now. It's full of fish and water. The fish are splashing around. The graphic says MILLIE & CHUCK 8 Fish Caught. She says "I'm going to drain this water, Chuck..." and to the cry of "Millie!" from chuck, the graphic on the screen changes to MILLIE & CHUCK 7 Fish Caught as she dumps a fish with the water.

Chip & Reichen get their clue.

The graphic now says MILLIE & CHUCK 10 Fish Caught as she's walking around with the basket. Chuck says "Don't drop 'em baby, PLEASE!" and the next thing you know, Millie has fallen into the pen with the basket!

After a commercial break, we see Millie and Chuck get their next clue after (somehow) getting their 15 fish.

Team Clowns get to Manukan Island to find a Roadblock: "Who's skills are the most on target?" The person has to hit three different targets using three traditional Malaysian weapons: a bow and arrow, a blowpipe and a spear. Once they've hit all three targets successfully, they and their partner could race down the beach and check in here - the Pit Stop for this leg of the race.

Whoa! There's the proof! They're "checking in" - there's no mention of the last team being eliminated!

Jon is hooting arrows unsuccessfully. Chip * Reichen arrive and Chip starts to shoot. Millie and Chuck arrive and Chuck starts to shoot. Jon hits and advances. Chip hits and advances. Jon uses the blowpipe and hits and advances. Chuck is still shooting.

David and Jeff hist the fishing Trawler and decide to do "Net". Kelly and Jon arrive and decide to do Trap. Are they nuts? They have no idea how heavy that thing is..

Jon is now throwing spears, Chip is starting the blowpipe and Chuck is still shooting arrows, as Millie says very quietly "Oh, come on Charles...".

David & Jeff arrive at the fishing platform, Kelly & Jon arrive on a lobster trawler. Jon starts to pull on the rope while Kelly tries to get her gloves on. David & Jeff start scooping up fish... the problem is the fish are the size of a dime. They didn't go to the Official Amazing Race Fishing Pens - these were the wrong fish.

(At this point, my DirecTV reception goes to hell in a handbasket for the rest of the show, and I only get bits and pieces of what's actually going on)

Chuck is still shooting arrows. Jon & Kelly are trying to haul-up the lobster trap. Chip hits his target and moves on. Both Jon & Chip are throwing Spears. Chuck finally sinks an arrow. Chip hits his target with a spear and he and Reichen walk off looking around looking for the Pit Stop, which was down the beach. Jon hits his target, grabs his pack, and he and All haul ass down the beach. Chip & Reichen see The Clowns running down the beach and are upset like they were cheating. Both teams hit The Amazing Bathmat at the same time, but Phil decides that Jon & Al were the real First Place finishers and they receive a Vacation to Mexico courtesy of American Airlines website, "which you can enjoy after the race.". Chip and Reichen are then actually Team #2. Chuck hits his blowpipe target and starts throwing spears. David and Jeff are still catching fish, but Jon & Kelly just can't hold onto the lobster trap. David and Jeff get their 15 fish. Jon eventually lets go of the lobster trap. It's just too heavy for Kelly to help out. They get their boat to go the fishing platform. Chuck is still throwing spears. We now have a close-up of a basket on the deck of the fishing platform that has a graphic that reads KELLY & JON 8 Fish Caught, You see the water just churning inside the basket and then a fish jumps out and, yes, the graphic changes: KELLY & JON 7 Fish Caught. Kelly is yelling "He jumped out! That's not fair!" and goes over to the basket and proceeds to what looks like sit on the basket when Jon says "I need you to help, Kel. I mean, farting on the fish... I mean is not helping too much!" David and Jeff hit Manukan Island. Chuck is still throwing spears. Kelly & Jon get their 15 fish and their clue. Chuck finally hits his target and they sprint down the beach and arrive as Team #3. Jeff starting shooting his arrows and hits. Jon is betting on this is not an elimination leg. Jeff hits his blowpipe target. Jeff starts throwing spears. Jon & Kelly arrive on the beach. Jeff barely hits the top of his target and they sprint down the beach and arrive as Team #4. Kelly starts to shoot arrows while Jon is behind her "Be the arrow!" She's pissed. She hits the target. She hits her blowpipe target. She hits her spear target.

They half-heartedly trot down the beach.

"Kelly and Jon, you're the last team to arrive... The good news is this is not an elimination. This is the first of three pre-determined non-elimination legs, and you're still in the race."

Next week: Does Jon actually tell Kelly to go screw herself?

What a strange show... the first oddity shows up in the tease before the show when they show an extremely short clip of Scott getting up off the couch in the Diary Room and there are two security guards in there with him.

Going for still another first for Big Brother (in the United States, at least) we are treated to a little sex in the HOH room between David and Amanda, which happened around 4am this morning and was available on the live internet feeds, at least during most of the action. It turns out that David got, um, sick and vomited after their lovemaking session. Apprently there was a bit too much alcohol involved.

In a 9-0 vote, Amanda Craig, the 25-year-old bar manager from Chicago, Illinois and former "ex" of expelled Scott, is the first houseguest evicted from Big Brother 4. We learn that the rumor I had heard earlier is true - there is a jury of 7 houseguests that will vote for the final winner, and those 7 will be sequestered before voting. Amanda is not one of the seven.

Finally, after multiple sudden-death tie breakers, Jee wins Head of Household.

He had some kind of hissy-fit and was throwing chairs around. He just flipped, I guess. He's swearing up a storm, telling the producers: "you don't f---ing own me!!!" Well, duh, yes they do as long as the show is in production (and I think for some time after as well). He's called to go into the Diary Room and yells that he isn't going, you can f---ing come and get me" and then the live internet feeds drop. Some time later he comes back apologizing to the houseguests about having problems with dealing with genital warts (HPV?) and his STD, which freaks out the houseguests (who have been upset about him for days, even without the throwing of chairs and his genital warts, and have been talking specifically about "fear" and "safety" concerns), but freaks out Ali enough that later she starts bawling and gets sick in the bathroom (thinking that she can catch the STD and something about "signing away her rights" (to what, sue?)). I think Michelle doesn't handle it well either (some of the houseguests think "she'll be scarred for life"). I think they were affraid of contracting something because of the hot tub and other close confinement issues. Again - some of these people are a little "young" and may not handle the STD issue well.
Anyway, Scott gets called into the Diary Room one last time at around 10:30pm there time last night... and is never seen again.

Tonight, an awful lot of talk about how hot Nathan is, and then how hot Michelle is.

Then a Food Challenge: teams of two must put enough potatoes into a drum to be within 25 pounds of the partner's weight to win a food category. So, for the week, they won Snacks/Desserts(Scott/Amanda) - 18lbs off, Breads/Pastas/Cereals(Jee/Dana) - 23lbs off, and Beer/Wine/Soft Drinks/Juices(Justin/Alison) - 24lbs off. They're not going to have any Dairy (Jack/Jun) - 31lbs off, Meats/Poultry/Seafood(David/Michelle) - 38lbs off or Fruits/Vegetables(Robert/Erika) - 40lbs off.

I'm not happy with a LOT of people in this house - most of them are coming across as too "young". Anyway, Nathan nominates Amanda and Jee.

The teams are still in Mumbai, India. Team Who? (David & Jeff) are the first to depart the Pit Stop at 12:51am. Teams must now travel 43 miles to the town of Panvel, find the train station, and ride 860 miles by train to a place called Ernakulam Junction. They have $70 for the leg. Team Who? arranged for a taxi the night before. Chip & Reichen go to a hotel's concierge to arrange their cab. Kelly and Jon talk to a local who says you can get to Panvel Station from Victoria Station. Millie & Chuck go to Panvel. Jon & Al also talk to a local about Panvel, and find out about Victoria. They opt for a hotel stay, since the ticket windows won't open until 4am. Tian & Jaree are in a cab going the wrong direction on a freeway! (hence, the title of this week's episode). Team Who? is out of their cab at a building... that used to be Panvel Station (they think it's someone's house!) and they have to go to the new Panvel Station.The get to the new place and opt for going to a hotel and wait. Tian & Jaree spend the night with Chip & Reichen on the floor of the train station. It's the next morning, and we see Kelly & Jon board the train from Victoria Terminal to Panvel Station at 6:38am. Team Clown (Jon & Al) catch the next train at 7:10am. You get the distinct feeling that these groups are falling behind since they're not even in Panvel. Kelly & Jon get to Panvel and meet-up with the others. Team Clowns arrive, followed by Team Who? (weren't they first to Panvel?). All of the teams are together, taking the same train, which apparently reeks. Jon & All decide they can't take the heat and smell after train is underway, so they opt to upgrade to a first class air-conditioned car. Everyone else then decided to upgrade - except Team Virgins (Millie & Chuck).

The train rolls-on for 26 hours. Kelly & Jon start talking about their mean-spirited nicknames for Millie ("Millie-Mole") and Chuck ("Werewolf") with Chip & Reichen. Jon thinks Millie's mole is growing during the course of the race due to stress.

The train pulls into Ernakulam and everyone tries to find a cab. Teams must travel along National Highway 47 and search among thousands of billboards for the route marker... David & Jeff get a cab driver who's name is Money??? Chip argues with drivers making sure that their gas tank is full. Team Who? finds the Route Marker first. Teams must now travel an additional 25 miles by taxi to the town of Alleppey and find [a] locally known sports field, where they'll get their next clue.

Lots of typical cab race jockeying. Millie & Chuck have to stop for gas. Chip & Reichen are the last team to find the billboard. Millie & Chuck's cab starts beeping and it's now overheating. Reichen & Chip's taxi has to stop for gas.

Team Who gets to this "field" which is actually underwater. The Route Marker is a Roadblock. In this Roadblock, that person has to take part in a sport invented over a hundred years ago by local farmers - Bull Racing. In this sport, they'll have to hang onto a team of bulls while they race at top speed along this mud track, approximately the length of a football field. If they can hang on until the end, they will get their next clue. But only one team may bull-race at a time, so if they fail to hang on, they'll have to go to the end of any line that may have formed and wait until they can try again.

OK, this sucks. this is mud (and probably bull feces and God knows what). David goes first and succeeds, but... he's wearing his clothes - his shirt pants and shoes. Ew.

Teams must now travel through the town of Alleppey to Beach Road (there's a beach here?) and find [this] Route Marker where they'll find their next clue.

Clown Al goes next and succeeds. (These people look like hell, and I don't know how the taxi drivers are letting these people in their cabs).

Tian is next and quickly fails (this is her sixth consecutive Roadblock for her Team). Jon goes next and succeeds. (At least he doesn't have his shoes on). Tian tries and fails again. Tian tries again and actually makes it. (Back in the cab, a bubbly Jaree tells Tian "You look sexy as shit, right now with all that mud on you, I swear to God. That's hot, dude. That totally hot.")

Chuck succeeds at the race. Reichen succeeds.

Team Who? gets to the Route Marker - a Detour. In this Detour, the choice is "Baskets" or Trunks". In "Baskets", teams must load 10 live chickens into the baskets on one of these traditional bicycle-powered wagons. Then, navigating for themselves, they must deliver the chickens to the farm circled on [this] map. Riding the bikes in the boiling hot sun could be exhausting, but teams can go as fast as their legs allow. In "trunks", teams must load two bales of traditional Indian fabric known as coir onto an elephant. Then, they must deliver the fabric to the coir shop circled on [this] map. Riding the elephant should not be tiring at all, but teams will only travel as fast as the elephant wants to go. Either either task, teams must deliver their cargo before they'll receive their next clue.

Everyone starts to take "Trunks" (not a surprise for Team Clowns). David: "Riding an elephant is painful. That spine of that elephant is very close to the skin, so you feel it right up the old... uh... you know... 'friendly family' there."

Tian & Jaree do trunks because Jaree wanted to do elephants if they went to India - it looked like Tian was thinking about "Baskets" but was definitely overridden. Then they start to leave without their two bundles of coirs. As they pull out, last place Chip & Reichen get to the Detour and choose "Baskets" instead, to try to make up time.

Best line of the show that should have been made the title:

Jon: "I'm in so much pain!:
Kelly: "You are??? I have a chain up my cookie!"
MP3

Team Who? gets to the market first. The Route Marker clue tells them to go to The Finishing Point, which usually is the finishing line for the town's boat races (I guess there is a lake).

David & Jeff are the first team to arrive, a seven-night cruise vacation to the Western Caribbean on Royal Caribbean's Voyager of the Seas. Phil also says to David "And you... really need a shower".

Team Clowns (John and Al) are the second team to arrive (Hey, Phil's wording this week is odd. They're not "Team Number Two", they're "The second team to arrive", almost like this could have been a non-elimination leg. At the top of the show, Phil said in the tease "Who will be eliminated ... next" instead of the usual "Who will be eliminated... tonight".)

It's now a Race for last between Tian & Jaree on the elephant and Reichen (pedaling) and Chip. Editing shows both of them getting the clue at the same time.

Kelly and Jon are the third team to arrive, Millie & Chuck are the fourth.

Reichen and Chip run down a path and are the fifth team to arrive.

A muddy, dirty, smelly Tian and sweaty Jaree hit the Amazing Bathmat last, and are eliminated from the race.

Next week: Millie drowns. Well, not really. At least I don't think so...

You know, Carol & I were talking after the show last night and we realized there weren't enough beds. Big Brother invented the Bed Pass. The "exes" were given a Bed Pass that would allow them to claim any bed they chose, kicking someone out of their bed,m forcing them to sleep... elsewhere. Think "bed sharing". The first Luxury Challenge to open-up the locked Hot Tub involved bathing suits, slime, and having someone else removing the slime off your body and putting it in a container that's on a cantelever that will raise a box revealing the key to the lock. Another convoluted challenge with a lot of touching of bodies. Still a lot of scheming among the original houseguests to get rid of the exes. On Day 3, it's time for the Head Of Household (HOH) competition. Iy has to do with "kneelers" and "sitters", where the kneeler is in an odd position, kneeling on a trigger that will dump fish chum on their sitter if they move off.

Well, the next edition of Big Brother has started. The house is still the same house, but redecorated. Much more colorful. No real feelings for the houseguests. They won their first food challenge. CBS got the reaction they had hoped when the 5 exes entered the house. An awful lot of people freaked over the situation. Should be interesting, but I'm not sure it's something I want to watch. We'll see.

Oh, here are the exes...

• Amanda Craig - Scott's Ex - 25, Bar Manager, Chicago, IL
• Jee Choe - Jun's Ex - 23, Bookkeeper, Elmhurst, NY
• Justin Giovinco - Alison's Ex - 22, Headhunter, Pittsburgh, PA
• Michelle Maradie - David's Ex - 19, College Student, Boca Raton, FL
• Robert Roman - Erika's Ex - 33, Restaurant Manager, Los Angeles, CA

From Amsterdam to India, from cheese and eels to poverty, Bollywood, crowded trains, groping, washing, and carrying fish, you knew this wasn't going to be good. In the end, Team NFL, a.k.a. "The Supremes", Monica (or as Phil says, "Monicker") and Sheree are eliminated from the race.

More later.

Lets see what kind of crop we have...

• Alison Irwin - 22, Retail Manager from pittsburgh, PA. Her personal hero is Britney Spears, her favorite actress is Cameron Diaz, and she has a cat named "Meow Meow". Oh boy...
• Brandon Showalter - 28, Computer Engineer from Newport Beach, CA. His personal hero is The Rock, and his favorite TV shows are Jackass and Punk'd.
• Dana Varela - 28, Karate School Manager from Queens, NY.
• David Lane - 21, a former Army Ranger from Deerfield Beach, FL. His personal hero is Fred Flintstone.
• Erika Landin - 33, Pilates Instructor from Los Angeles, CA. Must be a transplant since her favorite sports teams are the Cubs, Bears, and Bulls.
• Jack Owens Jr. - 58, retired FBI Agent from Birmingham, AL, divorced.
• Jun Song - 27, Investment Manager from new York, NY. Her favorite outdoor activity is Laying out in Central Park.
• Nathan Marlow - 23, Personal Trainer from Edmond, OK. He's going to miss The O'Reilly Factor.
• Scott Weintraub - 33, a Waiter from Chicago, IL (oh, oh...). He's from Chicago but his favorite team is the Knicks? His favorite magazines are Slam, Playboy, and Penthouse, his favorite movie is Old School and he likes rap.

On this next edition of Big Brother, there will be 13 houseguests instead of 12. Of the 13, only 9 are "total strangers".

Huh?

Well, there is going to be 4 houseguests that are "exes" - former spouses, ex-boyfriends or ex-girlfriends of other houseguests. They may have parted on good terms or not. The exes were recruited after the 9 houseguests were cast. The houseguests all enter the house on July 4th, though the first airing of the show isn't until July 8 (this is pretty typical for the show - gives them time to edit things together before the scheduled air date), and they were sequestered on June 29. The house is - allegedly - newly constructed on the same lot as the old house.

Another possible twist - according to a rumor, only seven houseguests would vote for the winner and they would be sequestered after being evicted from the house. In fact, according to reports, they will be put into a second house where they will still be taped, and some of that footage will be added to the show. However, they will only be allowed to see selected portions of the show, and nothing from the Diary Room, so they cannot change their minds based on what they see there. (Sounds like that big Danielle backlash from last year got to the producers).

In another case of backlash, no one will be brought back after getting booted out (like Amy last year).

There are no houseguests that are married this time around, and they have the youngest and oldest houseguests to date (19 and 59).

Other rumors - The U.S. version will be seen in the U.K. (Why? Their ratings are down this year, why broadcast another version, unless their's is so boring? The U.K. version is also in the middle of something very cool - they're swapping one of their houseguests with one from Big Brother Africa, which is a huge ratings winner on that continent, as well as igniting a new understanding of the people of its many countries.)

Oh, and Real.com picked-up the live internet feeds again for this season.

Let's see how much of this is true next week...

Well, here I am on vacation in Orlando, enjoying a wonderful meal at Emeril's, and overall I think I'd rather be doing this than watching tonight's episode. Unfortunately, my hometown boys - Air Traffic Controllers Steve and Dave are eliminated from the race.

OK, I'm way behind here and I'm running out of time... response time on my server is WAY TOO LONG to try and blog anything... I'll have to get to my synopsis some other day (I don't really know when)... needless to say Steve & Josh have been eliminated from the race...

Well, here we go again, another episode where the teams don't finish in the order that you think...

We're still in Venice as Team ATC (Steve & Dave) leaves the Pit Stop at 2:45am to take a train 300 miles to Vienna, Austria with $480 for the leg. After talking to a local at the train station, they decide to get out of Venice now and go to Padua and get a train from there. Team Rainbow (Reichen & Chip... I want to call these guys something different... maybe Team Arrogant... yeah, that's it...) leave the Pit Stop at 5:20am.

Now, to show you how everyone bunched up at the Masquerade Party last week, remember that the doors to the party didn't open until 5pm. The first team out from that party was Team Arrogant at 5:20, only 20 minutes after the Road Block started. The last team to leave the Pit Stop on tonight's episode (Team NFL) leave at 5:31. That's tight.

A discussion at the train station with Chip and a local produce another route - go to Verona, then Innsbruck and a very fast train to Vienna. Team Arrogant and Team NFL join up and take this route, along with Team Bimbo (Tian & Jaree), Team Buff (Kelly & Jon), Team Who? (David and Jeff - hey, TWoP came up with the name and it's just appropriate right now). The train leaves at 6:54am. Then, all of a sudden you hear Millie yelling "Chuck!! Chuck!!" Millie is in trouble - she's having a asthma attack in the train station. Team Clowns stay with them and give support to Millie. Team Bimbo are now having an actual argument on the train. They're not doing well as a team at all.

Meanwhile, Team ATC finds out that Padua doesn't work out - the only way to Vienna is through the Venice train station. They have now lost a substantial piece of time.

It sounds like Team Clowns (Jon & Al), Team Virgins (Millie & Chuck), Team Weezer & Geezer (Steve & Josh) and Team Friendly (Russell & Cindy - look it says Friends/Dating and I think each of them has a different view of their relationship. You can tell by the way they're talking to - or at - each other) take the same route as the leaders, but a later train one hour behind. Team ATC (Steve & Dave) are now back in Venice waiting for another train which leaves 2 hours after the first.

The first train arrives in Vienna at 6:37pm and the teams find the Route Marker in town. But alas, the great equalizer has come into play - the Route Marker has Hours Of Operation of 8am to 4pm. The teams now decide to get some sleep at the Hotel Kaiserhof.

The next morning, the teams start lining up at the Route Marker - it's an entrance to the Vienna Sewer System, where the teams will have to follow a marked route to get to the next Route Marker. As the teams go underground, the comments from the members are priceless. I believe it was Josh who said "Stinks like ass!". Wonder why Jerry Bruckheimer didn't use that for the title of this episode? Then another one, a woman's voice: "Is this potty water?" Finally, it's back into the winter cloudy daylight. The Route Marker says "chose a flagged Fiacre and find your way to Schonbrunn Palace". Phil explains that a Fiacre is a horse drawn carriage and you claim it by grabbing the ticket that's hanging on the outside of the carriage. They then have to direct their driver approximately 6 miles to Schonbrunn Palace for their next clue. the Fiacres will depart in groups of 3 or 4 every 30 minutes.

So this is how it goes down: Team Arrogant gets to the Fiacre Stand and climb in one of them. Team NFL and Team Buff do the same. Team NFL leans outside the carriage, pulls their pass of the door handle and gives it to their driver. The other teams are arriving and are standing in the line to wait for the other Fiacres to show up. There's a discussion between Team Clowns that the clue says to grab the pass to be able to go. Team Arrogant is just sitting in their carriage trying to figure out why they're not going anywhere. Next thing you know, Jon pulls the pass off the carriage and kick out Team Arrogant. Jaree pulls the same thing on Team Buff's carriage, kicking them off, only after Kelly hits Jon in disgust!

Reichen narrates that the clue says "as soon as you see the horses approaching you may go and claim a tag..." so this is going to look ugly. The horses approach and everyone goes tearing toward the carriages. There's asthma-plagued Millie running like a "bat out of hell". All of a sudden, the camera goes into slo-mo as Chip and Millie fight for a tag as a carriage passes. Chip gets it, Millie gets another and it looks like Jon has the third. Chip starts calling out "I only got one". What the...? They were in a little alliance with Team Who? to get a tag for them. Guess that didn't work out. Millie climbs into her carriage with a "God, he's a jerk! He is.. such a jerk. Oh my gosh." A little later we see Chip coming up to Millie's carriage and Millie saying "Did I do that?" to which Chip replies "It's not your fault". It turns out that somehow, Millie cut Chip's lip during the scramble for the tag. And then Millie says the title of tonight's episode: "You know, I wasn't even going to touch you until you slammed my head backwards because you started the manhandling crap". Hmmm... OK, that's it - Reichen and Chip are in my Black List. They need to be taken down.

The first team to Schonbrunn Palace is Team Bimbo. They find the Route Marker is a Detour. Phil explains tonight's choices of "Mozart" or "Beethoven": In "Mozart", teams must carry a string bass 6 miles to a house where Mozart wrote The Marriage of Figaro. The house is well-known and finding it should be simple, but lugging a bass fiddle across town could be exhausting. In "Beethoven", teams must carry a portfolio of sheet music 11 miles where Beethoven wrote a famous letter known as The Heiligenstadt Testament . It's not a physically demanding task, but in a city where Beethoven occupied at least 5 different homes during his lifetime, finding this little-known house could take a while.

Everybody takes "Mozart" - except Team Buff. They're going to the Beethoven Memorial, but Kelly complains that Jon is doubting everything. Team Weezer & Geezer decide in their carriage to take the Fast Forward. Phil: In this Fast Forward, teams must search the Palace grounds for [this] ballroom and put on formal attire. Then each team member will have to successfully cary a tray of champagne-filled glasses across a dance floor full of waltzing couples. The first team to cross the dance floor with all their glasses standing upright can claim the Fast Forward. Well it took a few tries, but they do it. They can now go to the Pit Stop via train - the Seeschloss Orth in Gmunden.

Team Buff is on a subway or train car asking people where Beethoven memorial is when someone on the train says "which memorial?" Confusion ensues. Team ATC is in their carriage, knowing they're in last place. They give a nervous giggle when the read the Detour that says that "each house is between 5 and 15 miles from here."

At what appears to be a bookstore, Kelly finds out that Jon was right - they're not going to the correct place. Team Bimbo & Team NFL trick Team Clowns into thinking that they didn't know where the house was - they waited until The Clowns left and ducked right into the house, earning them the next clue: "Make your way to the Route Marker at the base of the Donauturm..." - an 1,150-foot "spire" overlooking the Danube River.

Team Buff finds a "cute little old lady" that showed them where to go and they get the next clue.

The teams start arrive at Donauturm, or The Danube Tower and find that the Route Marker is a Road Block. In this Road Block [that] team member will take a 460-foot bungee jump off this immense tower. This gigantic leap is the tallest tower jump in all of Europe. Nothing really unusual happens - everyone readily accepts the challenge (though Millie starts to have another asthma attack at the top of the tower, and Dave does the Road Block to save Steve's knee).

It turns out, that getting to Gmunden isn't all that easy, as Steve & Dave find out as they take a train to the Vienna North station, and Team friendly gets tickets to Gmund instead of Gmunden. Team ATC now has to go to the Vienna West station instead, and Team Friendly just happen to find out they're going to the wrong town and have to go to a different train station, loosing 45 minutes in the mix-up.

Team Weezer & Geezer is Team #1, Team NFL #2. Team Arrogant #3, Team Bimbo #4, Team Virgins #5, Team Clowns #6, Team Who? #7, Team Buff #8.

There are a lot of cutaway shots to Team ATC and Team Friendly on trains, discussing being last and what their chances are.

It's dark. Figures emerge and walk on the mat. Team ATC arrive as Team #9 and can't believe they're still in the race. Team Friendly - Russell & Cindy, arrive last and are eliminated from the race. (Or, as TWoP says - Philiminated!)

Next week - race cars! Chuck has a panic attack! Team Bimbo causes a "showdown in Marseilles"! And we see the title of next week from ATC Steve: "Just check you're tires when you pull out because.. Oh, God, you'll never know what will happen." And it's said as a threat to Tian! The Chicago way!

Here we are again, starting at the last Pit Stop - the Hotel Lajadira, with 3 teams departing at 11:52pm. "Make your way to the bottom of the Trampolino Olimpico... then take the raft van to the top of the hill... and snow raft to your next clue." Well, this is actually the hill underneath a ski jump that was built for the 1956 Winter Olympics, and it's only a mile and a half away in Cortina. They walk the distance, and the rules state only one team per raft van. This looked like a blast! The clue at the end: "Make your way to the Pone Della Guglia Bridge in Venice." The teams have to go to Venice and use one of two train stations (the clue also said "Note: you may not fly"). The Calalzo train station which is closer (only a 30-minute drive) or Alpi which is further away but has an earlier train. (They show the Route Marker on the bridge - and it's the first time I can remember seeing one that had "Hours Of Operation" posted on it.) The first oddity happens when Team Buff (Kelly & Jon) take a cab to the rafting site - but get let off at the top of the hill. They must take the raft van from the bottom to the top. What does Jon do? Why, he slides down the hill on his ass. Kelly follows. They get in the van, go to the top, and then do it correctly in the raft.

Everyone heads to the Calalzo train station, basically when they ask about a train to Venice, everyone tells the teams to goto Calalzo. Everybody is now bunching up... but something weird happens. Team Rainbow (Reichen & Chip) are now after Team Weezer & Geezer (Steve and Josh) and muscle themselves to the front of the line and physically hold onto the door handles and block the entrance (of course, it's pretty damn early in the morning and there's no one around but them TAR'ers). There's even a slight verbal altercation between Team Rainbow and Steve. Odd. A bus pulls into the parking lot and someone asks if the bus goes to Venice. The driver says no, this is the bus to the Alpi train station. The group then finds out about the earlier train to Venice and everyone gets on the bus to go to Alpi to catch the train. Except, everyone isn't there yet. Team Bimbo (Tian and Jaree) and Team Buff (Kelly & Jon) get to the train at Calalzo at don't have a clue where the other 9 teams are. They find out later when talking to a conductor about the earlier train. Cindy & Russell have a little spat. The Route Marker on the bridge is a Detour "Waterway" or "Pathway". In "Waterway", teams travel by gondola using a map to guide their gondolier along the canals to a small plaza... The teams must navigate using only the map and without asking for directions from anyone. In "Pathway", teams must travel by foot to the same small plaza... these teams can ask for directions from the locals and if they use the information correctly, they can complete the task quickly." What they don't know is that it's really not going to matter. Why? Well, Millie and Chuck are the first to find out that the Route Marker in that little plaza has a clue that says: "Make your way to the Route Marker outside the Pallazzo da Mosto..." where they will attend a party which doesn't start until 5pm. Here we go again - everyone bunches up again since this appears to be hours away. Well, eventually after Kelly & Jon find their way.

Team ATC, since they're all busted up, decide to use the time for the Fast Forward - by joining the Commedia dell'Arte street performers. They get the Fast Forward and proceed to the Pit Stop - the Citti di Padova boat docked in front of the Pallazzo du Calle on the Venice lagoon.

Meanwhile, the party eventually begins. The Route Marker is a Road Block And as Phil explains that "A Road Block is a task that only one person may perform", we find out that in this Road Block "that person has to take one photograph from a doorman who is holding pictures of 4 different masks into the Pallazo and search among rooms full of masked revelers and match the masks shown in their picture. If they find the right person, they'll receive their next clue. If they hand the picture to the wrong person, the masked reveler will take the picture and silently walk away. The team member must go back outside and go to the back of the line. Since the doorman will only allow 4 people into the party at one time, getting back in could take a long while." OK, people - this party is CREEPY. Like something out of Eyes Wide Shut, but without the sex and nudity. Think 1600's Masquerade Ball. On top of this, there are a lot of those "revelers". Russell is first Inside, followed by Monica (or as Phil has been saying, "Monicker"), Chip, and then Josh. It is shot twisted, and distorted with odd sound effects and music. CREEPY, I tell ya. Josh gets his photo rejected - back to the back of the line. Jeff is 5th inside. Chip is first out. Tian is 6th in. Russell is next to get his clue. Tian gets her clue. Jon (as TWoP calls him BuffJon) is next inside. Chris in next in. Jeff gets his clue. Jon gets his clue. Millie is the 9th inside. Chris gets his photo rejected. Clown Al is last inside. Josh gets his clue. Notice something by now? Monica is still inside! Team Rainbow (Reichen & Chip) hit the Pit Stop in 2nd Place. Team Buff (Kelly & Jon) are Team Number 3. Monica is still inside. Chris is back inside. Chris is rejected again. Chris goes back inside. Team Bimbo (Tian & Jaree) finishes as Team Number 4.