OK... so... you're a dentist... you're an office prankster... and you're working on your assistant... and she's out cold, under anesthesia...

So... you implant fake boar's tusks in her mouth and take a few pictures... some with her eyes propped open.... before you pull out the fake tusks and do the rest of the real procedure.

The pictures make it around the office, she's devastated, quits, and sues the dentist.

The dentist's insurance company refuses to cover the claim, so the dentist pays her $250,000 out of his pocket, then turns around and sues the insurance company for not covering the claim.

AND WINS.

Not only was the insurance company ordered to pay the original claim, they also have to pay the dentist $750,000.

Dentist Wins Case Over Tusks in Mouth

ummm... I heard about it this morning, and I'm so happy I didn't hear about it yesterday... not to mention being happy to NOT HAVE TO DRIVE THROUGH THIS...

A busy section of highway was closed for seven hours Sunday after a truck tipped over and spilled pig ears, pig feet and grease.

CAN'T

IMAGINE...

Turns out this is old news, but I just heard about this...

Back on the morning of March 1st, around 170 Swiss infantry soldiers - armed with their Swiss Army Knives and rifles (but no ammunition), while on a training exercise, wandered more than a mile across the unmarked border with the tiny principality of Liechtenstein.

OK, that's bad, and they turned around when they figured out what they did.

Here's some quick stats - Liechtenstein is only 62 square miles big. The last estimate of the population - 33,987. The Swiss army is 220,000 strong. Liechtenstein? No military.

I suppose that these guys shouldn't be confused with the Swiss Guard at the Vatican...

So, which is worse - that the Swiss invaded, or that nobody in Liechtenstein had even noticed the soldiers.

OK... what the hell is going on with the world around us?

Here are articles from CNN just posted today:

Police say father told toddler, 'Now you stab Mommy'

Police say a man repeatedly stabbed his teenage wife, then gave the knife to his toddler son and told him: "Now you stab Mommy."

Mom pleads guilty to using baby as a weapon

A woman pleaded guilty Tuesday to swinging her 4-week-old son like a bat to hit her boyfriend during a fight, fracturing the infant's skull in the process.

Pilot told ex-wife she wouldn't get daughter, in-law says

The man whose small plane slammed into his former mother-in-law's house, killing him and his 8-year-old daughter, had told his ex-wife before the crash he had the girl "and you're not going to get her," the mother-in-law said Tuesday.

Eric Johnson, a student pilot who had soloed before, strapped daughter Emily into the passenger seat of a leased, single-engine Cessna on Monday morning. Less than two hours later, officials said, the plane smashed into the home of Vivian Pace, the girl's grandmother.

I love hearing/reading/watching things like this.

I've always been intrigued about flash mobs and that kind of mass demonstrations of oddities.

This is the best I've heard of recently - Slo-Mo Home Depot

Imagine 225 people.. in a Home Depot... that all of a sudden - in unison - start moving in slow motion for 5 minutes, then go back to normal speed for 5 minutes, then freeze in place for 5 minutes, then resume their normal activities... and then disperse.

What if, totally by random chance, When it came time for the "shoppers" to freeze, over the store's PA came Jewel's 2001 hit, "Standing Still" ?

What would yo do if you saw this happening?

... so it's 06/06/06 06:06:06 !

...Then again, it can be interpreted as 6/6/6, or worse - 666...

In fact, there are many parties and "celebrations" schdules for today, like, oh, Satanic High Masses...

Sorry, I just couldn't watch the David Blaine thing last night on ABC ("Drowned Alive").
I like his slight of hand work and other feats of prestidigitation, but these TV specials are just weird-ass events and tests of endurance that seem... not really spectacular, just means of 1) getting his name out in the press, and 2) getting his name into a world record book or something. I mean, what's the point and why should I watch?

I had heard earlier in the day that he wasn't doing well from his week-long stint inside that 8-foot snow globe-like tank of his (actually 177 hours underwater). I just thought it was all part of the stunt itself, so that it would be "even more spectacular" if he held his breath for 9 minutes, live on the air... like he was supposed to.

Instead, he made 7:08 when divers had to yank him out because of convulsions. And it turns out he's got liver and kidney problems, rashes all over his body and his skin was peeling off.

Knock it off, already. Show me illusions, don't show me abuse of your own body.

OK, I couldn't let another year go by without posting something about Peeps.

OK, this is going to require a little explanation (I saw this at Boing Boing)...

You know what a Turducken is? This comes up each year around Thanksgiving. It's de-boned turkey stuffed with a de-boned duck, which itself is stuffed with a small de-boned chicken. (Check out the Wikipedia entry)

OK, now take that concept and "Easter-fy" it with candy, and you come up with an Easter Turducken...

A found a little ditty in Chicago Tribune columnist Eric Zorn's blog. I am always amazed at 1) what items people jump on from the latest current events and 2) how people decide to share their vision.

If you go to this website, you, too, can show up in the middle of a CNN article, right in the middle of a certain event, just like me!

It's 3/14 1:59! You know, 3.14159 ???? Right? C'mon! It's π?

Also, It's Albert Einstein's birthday! Cool!

E to the x, dy, dx,
E to the x, dx.
Secant, tangent, cosine, sine,
3.14159.
Square root, cube root, log base e,
Cheers for math at MIT.

Just went to the restroom here at work and saw something I've never seen before...

So it looked like another faction kidnapped still another American soldier in Iraq.

It looked like it.

But then somebody looked at the released photograph just a little bit more clearly - and realized that it wasn't "American soldier John Adam". It was Special Ops Cody, a toy doll. And if you look really close, you can see that the gun pointing at his head is actually the plastic one that came with his set.

OK, lets forget about the fact that the trees I have on my property SUCK.

Now if I had trees, a lot of really nice, tall, sturdy, "old growth" trees, I would ABSOLUTELY LOVE getting one of these things and put it up in a tree. "It’s a marriage of treehouse and sailboat technology."

Don't know how I'd get up and down, but these look REALLY cool...

Of course it sounds a bit "New Age"-y...

Did you know that today is the worst day of the year?

No, I'm not saying for me - I'm saying that some scientist at Cardiff University actually came up with a bloody formula to calculate the worst day of the year!

And yes, it's today.

It seems to have some flaws, though... Christmas is a variable (what if you weren't Christian?) and you had to have attempted to quit a bad habit, like someone with a New Year's Resolution (like we ALL, do that, right?), and since weather is involved, it seams this only applies to people living in the Northern Hemisphere.

Oh, and it was coincidence that it fell on a Monday this year.

And I wonder if it has anything to do with being near National Pie Day, which was last Friday?

How can you not love Darth Tater???

As seen in this photo released in New York by Hasbro, Inc., Friday, Jan. 14, 2005, Hasbro, Inc.'s Playskool division is launching a new Mr. Potato Head figure, Darth Tater. Available at stores nationwide in February, kids will be able to have all kinds of mix 'n match,Mr. Potato Head fun with this wacky spud dressed as the infamous Star Wars saga villain, Darth Vader. (AP Photo/ Hasbro, Inc., HO)

Carol hasn't been sleeping well this week because she says her legs are twitchy and it feels like she can't stretch her leg to her satisfaction at night.

She did the soap thing last night.

Yep, it worked. I've been doing it now for over a month. Works for me.

Can't figure out why the hell this works. Gotta be a placebo...

The ongoing saga of soap under the sheet continues...

I realized last night that I was tossing and turning a bit. Why? Because my legs were twitching! This was the specific reason why I tried this soap under the sheet "remedy". Nuts. It seems to have finally failed...

... until I woke up the next morning and found the bar of soap on the floor. It had slipped-out from underneath the bed sheet during the night.

So, so far, this "remedy" seems to be working and have have no idea why. I can't figure out any scientific principle that would make this work - unless it's just a placebo effect.

I still have that bar of soap under my sheet.

It's still working...

... until I woke up this morning and moved around. Then my right leg twitched. Now, does that count because I was waking up or are we countnig just overnight while I'm attempting to sleep?

I still don't understand...

Many of you out there that actually know me, know that I've been battling these weird leg twitches, usually when I'm sitting down or laying down. In rare circumstances, they even twitch when I'm standing or walking. It's not a little twitch either. If I'm standing, they're pretty... um... "violent". I mean, it almost looks like I'm kicking somebody.

So, last week, Carol is reading some health column in a local paper (Daily Herald), that said: If you suffer from Restless Leg Syndrome (Which I don't think I have), try this to stop your twitching at night -

HUH? WHa...?

So, we grabbed a bar of Coast and threw it under my sheet last Friday.

What the hell does a bar of soap have to do with this???????

Was reading a story in this morning's Chicago Tribune - Think you've got a lousy job? Try tick dragging. It's about a study by William Speed Weed, contributing editor at Popular Science magazine about what scientists think are the world's lousiest jobs.

That's when I saw it - #11 is actually something I've done and can attest that it truely is a sucky job - Computer help-desk tech

I think I just found out what I'd do with part of my Lottery winnings... when I hit the big one... someday...

Nieman Marcus (in their wonderful Christmas Book) has something called a Lifetime AAirpass from American Airlines. Imagine being able to book any open seat in any cabin of any flight within American Airlines. Yes, even First Class.

4,200 daily flights to 250 cities in more than 40 countries around the globe. For the rest of your life. Period.

The problem is the price (hence the need to win the Lotto) - $3,000000 (a second card is only $2,000,000 so it'll be $5,000,000 per couple.)

I've seen videotape of this event and and didn't know it was that time of year again.

Imagine a village in Spain that has - every year - a tomato throwing fight on the streets of the town. They go through 132 tons of tomatoes, just loaded into dump trucks. People climb inside, the trucks drive through the streets and the people on the ground and the people in the trucks just wail on each other with tomatoes.

It's exactly 1:03 am. Carol and I were in bed 3 minutes when we heard this muffled "boom" that actually shook the house, like an explosion a couple of suburbs over. We had the police radio on and there were calls all over the northwest suburbs about an explosion and a flash of light, but no one was ever able to find anything. I think I know what it was, but it still shook us up since the house actually shook.
Update: Yep, it's what I thought it was. We're in the middle of the Perseid meteor shower and it was a meteor that landed somewhere near Waukegan. The flash was the entry into the atmosphere and the boom was a sonic boom as it decelerated. Pretty damn cool to experience.

It's that time of year again, when Peeps are flooding store shelves.

Let us not forget the Evil Peeps Bunnies Survival Tests, which always comes up each year, as well as Bunnies Strike Back.

But here's something that I haven't seen until this year (link blatantly ripped from Christine): yes, it's One Peep to Rule Them All - The Lord Of The Peeps!

OK, it's a stretch, but..

Does 3/14 1:59 equal 3.14159 ???? You know, π?

I should have got up during the night to do this at 1:59 AM.

Yes, it's that really odd day - February 29 - that only comes around once in about 4 years (you've got to take into consideration those years ending in 00 unless it's a millennium year...). Have you ever heard of the Honor Society of Leap Day Babies? (It's an online newsletter about Lead Year Day.)

Guess I won't be writing another entry on this date for a while... which feels... weird...

Tonight: The Oscars and our Annual Oscar Party @ B & B's! I'm exhausted and I'm not sure if I'm going to make it tomorrow morning...

Reading the Sports Illustrated Year In Sports issue and found a quote that put me on the floor...

WASN'T THAT A LINE FROM THE KAZ TADANO FILM?
After people wearing hot dog costumes collided during a footrace at Miller Park in Milwaukee, Brewers manager Ned Yost said, "I just looked over and saw our wieners in a wad."

Heard about this at Chelby's party yesterday... took a while to find, but here's the text I found with it:

"Yes in the comfort of your own home, or someone else's, with just a sharp knife, a bottle of tequila, some large limes, a little time on your hands, and a brain-dead cat, you can learn to fashion these authentic lime-skin football helmets. Chin straps not included."

OK, I know that Vodka is the official drink of the former Soviet Union, but according to a Reuters article, people died drinking mass quantities in a contest. The prize? 10 liters of vodka.

Tonight is a Full Moon, which, since it's the fool moon closest to the start of Fall, make it the Harvest Moon.

I can get Carol on just about any attraction at any of the Disney parks. She's deathly afraid of some of the more, um, "exciting" rides, but she'll go on them anyway. Why? Her answer: "Walt Disney will not hurt me." She truly believes this. She firmly believes in the design, construction, operation and maintenance of the Disney organization.

Having said that, Disneyland's Big Thunder Mountain Railroad jumped the tracks today and killing a man and injuring 10 other people. The accident took place inside a tunnel section of the ride.

This has to be a case of road rage by somebody just not familiar with the area...

Every year, around Labor Day, Amish kids hide in cornfields and toss tomatoes at passing cars as a prank. Well, this time, about 10 people, ages ages 15 to 23 were tossing tomatoes, when one motorist got out of his car and fired three to five rounds into the 7-foot-high corn, killing a 23-year-old. Does tossing tomatoes warrant murder???

Holy effin'™ cripes... Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne just "sang" The Seventh Inning Stretch at Wrigley Field...

Oh. My. God.

Update: If you must, here's an MP3 for you. (1.71 Mb). You have to hear "Lets go out out to the ballgame" and you have to listen closely to hear the lyric: "I don't remember what I have to do..."

OK, there's an article in today's Chicago Tribune by Jon Kass about. Chihuahuas. In LA. Wild, feral, but demonically aggressive and deformed chihuahuas.

A pack of them, that once numbered 269 dogs (They're down to 175). A reporter in Pasadena that's from Australia said the chihuahuas would probably kill large dingos. Dingos.

And Kimi Peck wants to save them. That's Peck, as in daughter-in-law of Gregory Peck.

Weird.

At Milwaukee Brewers games, there's a weird little piece of Americana that happens between the 6th and 7th innings - the Brewers/Klement's Racing Sausages. Basically, it's 4 people dressed-up in sausage costumes the run a race. Hokey, yes, but somehow this just seems all-American, and All-Midwestern (if there was such a term), and is just part of the legacy of baseball that we see all over the minor league systems, brought forward to the major leagues.

Last night, however, turned... weird.

Pittsburgh first baseman Randall Simon was booked for misdemeanor battery for hitting the Italian Sausage as she went by the Pirates' third-base dugout. As the Italian Sausage went down, she took down the Hot Dog as well.

That's just not right.

(They both were treated at the scene for scraped knees.)

Oh, and the Bratwurst won.

Update: The sausages didn't want to file criminal charges, so the sheriff cited Simon with Disorderly Conduct and fined him $432.

I just saw this from a post at Mike's site. It has got to be the coolest Rube Goldberg contraption built to show off a car. It's a commercial that's running in the UK for a Honda Accord. If you go watch this commercial, remember these facts: 1) There are absolutely no special effects in this commercial. 2) It took 606 takes to shoot it. 3) There have been only 6 hand-made Accords in the world. All of the parts you see in this ad are from two of those cars that were disassembled (well, this excludes walls, floor, ramp, and the complete Honda Accord at the end)

Anybody catch the two George Bush's on their Segways in Kennebunkport? the elder George (George the 41st) handled his quite well. George the 43rd... well, he fell off. Wonder if this will effect sales?

OK, you Harry Potter fans out there... you know that at Midnight, June 20th the new book Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix gets released. If you happen to be around Oak Park at 9pm that evening, go to that great little "mall" area of stores at Oak Park and Lake, and you'll see them transformed into Diagon Alley.

[T]he Magic Tree children's bookstore will become Flourish & Blott's bookstore, Café Winberie morphs into the Leaky Cauldron, and C. Foster Toys will take on the appearance of Quality Quidditch Supplies.

Even US Bank will become Gringott's Wizarding Bank, with goblin-led tours to its basement vault.

I head this on the radio on the way home, and I had to see if this is really true.

People reported seeing flying cows.

At George Lucas's Skywalker Ranch.

Well, they really weren't flying... unless you call jumping off a cliff "flying"... apparently the cows were grazing and got "spooked" and started running... right off a cliff, onto "Lucas Valley Road". Unfortunately, 2 cows had to be put down.

I've gone through the STS-107 Press Kit, but I haven't been able to find out any detail of this experiment, but...

Technicians going over the Columbia wreckage finally opened-up a middeck locker of an experiment and found hundreds of live worms in it. The worms only have a life span of about 10 days, so these worms were 4 or 5 generations away from the original worms on the flight and were part of an experiment testing a new synthetic nutrient solution. They were supposed to have been examined and unloaded from Columbia within hours of landing, so there's probably no scientific value to these worms, just more of a curiosity.

I guess I'm not really surprised by this. I mean, if you watched the show, you had a feeling that it could go this way... Jack Osbourne in rehab

Just a quick word of warning: If you happen to be driving past O'Hare, either on Higgins or the Northwest Tollway, and you happen to see clouds of thick, black smoke, DO NOT PANIC. An airplane probably did not crash at O'hare, and there's no accidental fuel spill that caught fire. It's just, as stated in info on the airport, PERIODIC FIRE DEPT TRNG AT N SECTOR OF THE ARPT. There are two airframe carcasses (for lack of a better term) that the fire department sets on fire every once in a while for training exercises. So, in other words, don't panic.

Did the Nigerian scam change countries?

Just because I have DirecTV and TiVo and not cable TV, the feds can find out what I'm watching and I don't like it. Damn that Ashcroft...

Under the USA Patriot Act, passed a month after the 9/11 terrorist attack, the feds can force a noncable TV operator to disclose every show you have watched. The government just has to say that the request is related to a terrorism investigation, said Jay Stanley, a technology expert for the American Civil Liberties Union.

Under Section 215 of the Act, you don't even have to be the target of the investigation. Plus, your TV provider is prohibited from informing you that the feds have requested your personal information.

"The language is very broad," Mr. Stanley said. "It allows the FBI to force a company to turn over the records of their customers. They don't even need a reasonable suspicion of criminal behavior."

David Sobel, general counsel for the Electronic Privacy Information Center, a Washington think tank, said the Cable Act of 1984 gives cable operators greater protection against the Patriot Act. Cable companies do not have to release an individual's records unless the feds show that the person is the target of a criminal investigation. Even then, the individual must be notified of the request, which he can then challenge in court.

"The Patriot Act does not override the Cable Act," Mr. Sobel said.

You couldn't blame the satellite TV industry for feeling a little vulnerable these days. DirecTV, for instance, collects a large amount of individual data, such as program package orders, pay-per-view orders and even online purchases via the DirecTV-Wink interactive shopping service. The Justice Department could ask DirecTV to disclose whether you subscribe to Playboy or purchased Viagra if it would help an investigation.

So I guess the flash of light I saw was from a meteorite "the size of a Volkswagen bug". OK, it was that big when it started to enter the atmosphere. The largest piece they've seen was about 7½ pounds, mostly gravel-sized to softball-sized. One 5-pounder crashed into a house. There were a handful of homes hit by pieces - no one hurt. It is rare - very rare - for a meteorite to hit a populated area.

Lets get away from the damn war for a while, and let's take a stroll over to Grover is Bitter - Yes, that lovable monster from Sesame Street has actually had a hard life. Born in Queens as Grovski Carbunkle back in the mid 50's, he was the star of Sesame Street for quite a while. Then he wasn't picked to be on The Muppet Show, and he started to drink, hang with hookers, and do drugs. He had a short recording career, but he doesn't remember it. Things changed - Mr. Hooper died, Snuffleupagus and Maria had broken up with David and taken up with Luis, and then he came by: Elmo.

I forgot about this... I love the comic Non Sequitur, and saw this back on March 1st - here's Wiley Miller's take on WMD. And here's his take on the French and Inspection Teams.

A very odd, hysterically funny and sad at the same time website that captured naming questions and suggestions posted on two different baby naming bulletin boards going back as far as early 2001. Oh, my - what are these parents and parents-to-be thinking?

Yep, I heard this on the radio last night while driving home. Hooters Air has officially taken to the skies (it was the old Pace Airlines). It's based out of Atlanta, and so far only serves Myrtle Beach, S.C. with service to Newark, N.J. starting March 20. Each flight has 3 Flight Attendants and "Hooters Girls" who are there to "just be friendly." (They're serving the drinks.)

Ever have a song stuck in your head? You know, rattling around in there, playing over and over and over and you can't get rid of it? There was a study that was released at the Society for Consumer Psychology Winter Conference in New Orleans. The phenomenon is called an "earworm" in Germany, which actually sort of makes sense. The item that I found most disturbing is that "Episodes of earworms also tend to strike people with neurotic tendencies more often." That sort-of doesn't make me feel any better about this stupid Kylie Minogue song that's rattling around inside of my head right now...

This is really cool. There are certain words that are pronounced differently across the country. For example, how do you pronounce aunt? been? coupon? handkerchief? mayonnaise? pajamas? quarter? (anybody that knows me knows that I butcher that one) Take a look at this: Dialect Survey Maps and Results. Pronunciations and graphical maps of the distribution. Cool.

The AHL's Syracuse Crunch is auctioning-off their Zamboni on eBay. It's not the current one (I guess they retired this one last year), but it's fully operational. The last bid I saw was $3,050.00, and it met it's reserve. How cool is it to get a fully functional Zamboni for just over 3 grand? It does need work, however ("The washer tank is rusted, but could be replaced"). Still that's cheaper than the jersey I saw auctioned at a Wolves game a few weeks ago (coincidentally, a game against the Syracuse Crunch). (Auction ends February 4)
Update: It went for the $3,050.00 bid.

Did anybody catch Lara Flynn Boyle on the Golden Globe Awards tonight? What was she thinking? Ditto for the much too giggly Sharon Stone.

So, after reading Christine talk about Picture Yourself, I got inspired and took two pictures of me - one driving to work, the other driving home. What was that? Why, yes, I took these while actually driving. Why? I don't know - something to do while I'm driving, in traffic, doing about 45 mph. I just submitted them, so I guess they'll be posted next week some time. Why not snap yourself and send them in over there?!
Update: They're up: Driving to work and driving home.

Back in November, the San Francisco Zoo got 6 new Magellanic penguins, from Sea World in Aurora, Ohio (now Six Flags Worlds of Adventure), a normal occurrence for the zoo. (Man I love those penguins... I always wanted one of them as a pet...) Somehow, these 6 penguins, "communicated and changed the minds of the other 46" penguins, and now all 52 penguins are swimming laps around their enclosure all day long "until they stagger out of the pool at dusk". The zookeepers are perplexed, but then again, so am I...

I've only played this game a few times in real-life and thought it was an absolute hoot. Now, we've got the online version of Pass the Pigs!

Psychologists have actually found a formula for happiness! They also admitted that the equation was not easy for most people to understand, but it's all derived for a series of questions.

The Third to Fifth largest industry in Nigeria, this "419 Fraud" is still going strong. I received another Nigerian Spam msg this morning. There is info about this at the U.S. Secret Service Financial Crimes Division website, and at the 419 Coalition Website.

(Snagged from Quinn) This piece from The Onion just somehow feels right and just about fits every convenience store clerk I can remember doing business with - Twelve Customers Gunned Down in Convenience-Store Clerk's Imagination

It's Elvis' birthday today. Well, if he were alive that is. Somehow, I never knew his birthday was only 4 days after mine. Oh, well. I never really followed him at all, though I'm starting to dig some of his music (mostly just his hits - probably because of some irrational sense of nostalgia). "Viva Las Vegas" has also become our official vacation theme music - we play it in the rental car when leaving McCarran Airport when we get to town.

I love Penn & Teller. I've seen them in Vegas, caught their TV specials. Penn Jillette had a problem when going through security at McCarran Airport in Las vegas back in November. As Penn says - "You have to ask me before you touch me or it's assault." And you just know that Penn knows his rights... Oh, and check out a new product that Penn talks about - "The Bill of Rights, Security Edition," which are "playing card size copies of the Bill of Rights printed on metal. With the 4th Amendment in red." Fun for airport security checkpoints.

Really cool QuickTime VR photo of New Year's in Time Square by Jook Leung from a great site full of panoramas at www.panoramas.dk. Be sure to checkout his panaorama of The Tribute In Light memorial as well.

A mathematical model of predator-prey population dynamics in Buffy's Sunnydale by a PhD candidate in ecology at Stanford University: Vampire Population Ecology

The building that I work in is not very big. Each floor is a series of office suites connected by a main corridor. On my particular floor, a few suites are empty due to companies going out of business. So, in general, it's quiet ot there. There's a guy that walks the main corridor, from end to end, reading a book. Just walking back and forth. He's got walking/running shoes on, and he's walking and reading from one of the floor to the other. I guess it's one way of taking a break and getting some exercise.

This showed up in this morning's EMail:

LAKE FOREST,IL. (AP) - Chicago Bears football practice was delayed nearly two hours today after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the practice field. Head coach Dick Jauron immediately suspended practice while police and federal investigators were called to investigate.

After a complete analysis, FBI forensic experts determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line. Practice was resumed after special agents decided that the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again.

I have to admit, I laughed out loud at this. Harry Chapin must be spinning in his grave. (Snagged from Quinn).

Imagine recreating Chariot Racing from 500 B.C. in 2002. TLC is running a short documentary series Chariot Race 2002 where they actually do this - setting up a Circus, building chariots and training drivers and horses. Way cool.

Imagine the ramifications - scientists think that totally unrelated seismic disturbances (not associated with an earthquake) might indicate passage of strange quark matter (also known as nuclearites) through the Earth at speeds of 250 miles per second.

Oh. My. God. When I had an IBM ThinkPad on my lap on the way home from work for an hour on the train, I have to admit - my lap got pretty warm. But this - this is is just frightening. I mean, toasting one's private parts?

Just a few hours after coming home from the AMC South Barrington 30, I was watching the Channel 5 news and saw a story that said a federal court in Los Angeles ruled that AMC "violated the Americans With Disabilities Act by offering patrons who use wheelchairs and their companions only inferior seating in the front rows of its new stadium-style movie theaters." The wheelchair accessible seats were in use during the movie, and though they were on the main floor, they're still almost a dozen rows from the screen, but this was one of the larger theaters. I can't imagine how they're going to redesign the theaters to comply.

Watched ABC World News Tonight and saw this story: From Peter Jenning's Journal on ABCNews.com:

"We are going to take a closer look tonight at Jesus and the SUV. Executives from the nation's leading carmakers are meeting today with a group of evangelical Christians who are trying to make the fuel economy of cars a religious as well as environmental issue. The group plans to roll out a TV campaign arguing that gas-guzzling SUVs are antithetical to Christian moral teachings, which encourage human beings to protect each other and the earth. The tagline for the ads reads: "What Would Jesus Drive?" "

My name (along with Carol's) is going to included on a DVD that's being flown to Mars next year on one of the Rover Missions! Each rover will photograph and return to Earth a picture of each DVD disk of names as they rest on the Martian surface. Cool!

Well, this explains a lot: Feeling lethargic? Blame the PC

Have you seen Apple's "Switch" television commercial campaign? Here's a quick Flash animation of Anikin Skywalker's version of "Switch".

Mike wrote about something that I find absolutely disgusting - spitting. I don't understand the action. Never did. I don't spit. I just don't get why people do this with regularity, like this is just some normal function. It's not. It's never been part of the day-to-day American culture. You may think so because you spit. It's gross. It's vile. It's uncivilized. And... it just pisses me off. Like Mike says: "Is swallowing your own saliva so vile to you that you need to purge your mouth onto the street in front of me?" He's right. Knock it off. All of you.

There's an interesting article at The Slate - The Nigerian Nightmare - on the subject of an EMail I received this morning: Fraud. In fact, this Nigerian Scam is, according to published reports, the Third to Fifth largest industry in Nigeria. There is info about this at the U.S. Secret Service Financial Crimes Division website, and at the 419 Coalition Website.

This sunday, the Pacific Princess - the original "Love Boat" - after 27 years of service, sails for the final time. It was introduced in 1975 and carried 640 passengers - "intimate" by today's standard of about 2,500. While in duty, she carried about 600,000 passengers on crusies for Princess Cruises. The Love Boat was only on the air at ABC for 9 years.

A new Pacific Princess is set to sail next year throughout French Polynesia and the wider Pacific region.

Happy Mole Day, everyone! Oh, wait... it doesn't have to do with the ABC Reality TV show... it's about moles... Avogadro's Number, not the animals. It's about chemistry... see, one mole is a mass (in grams) whose number is equal to the atomic mass of the molecule... umm... nevermind...

All of the TV stations in Chicago have been teasing this story all day - Study says duct tape removes warts.

I'm looking around and this is just a weird day in stories around the web...

The U.S. Army is using a Blog as a recruiting tool...

There's a homeless man that is using public library computers to write his own "The Homeless Guy" blog (USA Today article)...

A Montana Libertarian candidate for Senate has turned blue (it's called "argyria") from drinking colloidal silver to fend off disease. No really. He's BLUE...

A Dutch astrophysicist with the European Space Agency says the sun will explode In under six years... (of course, this is from Weekly World News, so take it with a grain of salt)

Iraqi Vice President Taha Yassin Ramadan said that President Bush and Saddam Hussein should resolve their differences in a duel...

Reporting of the new Bugbear virus, also known as Tanatos, is exceeding that of the Klez virus, so this should be a lot of fun dealing with this over the next few months...

I seem to remember this from at least a year ago, but scientists have officially proclaimed The World's Funniest Joke... and some of the other runner up jokes...

Amazon.com has apparently discontinued the Harry Potter Nimbus 2000 Broom that I talked about earlier this month. Now it's listed as "This item is not stocked or has been discontinued". Was the demand too high or were they a little disturbed at the reviews they were getting? Mike pointed out an OpEd piece in the NIU Northern Star that has even more "unusual" reviews from other buyers. The solution? Just take the damn batteries out, and all you've got is a Harry Potter Nimbus 2000 Broom. Without the vibrations.

OK, let me start by saying this - this is Chicago. If you go to a sporting event here, don't even think about starting a wave. We don't like it. It shows disrespect for the players on the field (or ice or court). It shows that you aren't paying attention to the damn game. Having said that, the University of Hungary has actually done a study of the wave.

I'm hearing the theme music from The Twilight Zone and the hair on the back of my neck is standing up... Today's Evening Numbers drawing of The New York Lottery for Wednesday, September 11, 2002: 9 - 1 - 1.

The first story on The View this morning was about the Harry Potter Nimbus 2000 Broom by Mattel, using the same quote from Amazon.com!

Greece has outlawed all electronic games - consoles, software, even embedded games in cell phones! No, It's true! I'm not kidding! They've already fined people! They're going to close internet cafes if they see any gaming going on!

Oh, man... I've never heard of "dead peasant" or "dead janitor" life insurance policies... They're called COLI's - Corporate-Owned Life Insurance policies. In Texas, Wal-Mart took out a COLI on one of their employees - and collected about $64,000 when he died - without the family knowing about it. Does anybody else feel weird about this???

OK, I saw that Cory posted this over at Boing Boing, and I had to see if this was really true. Amazon is selling a Harry Potter Nimbus 2000 Broom by Mattel. It's a vibrating Harry Potter Nimbus 2000 Broom. Now, remember that as you read one of the Customer Reviews (by poola13 from Ohio): "When my 12 year old daughter asked for this for her birthday, I kind of wondered if she was too old for it, but she seems to LOVE it. Her friends love it too! They play for hours in her bedroom with this great toy. They really seem to like the special effects it offers (the sound effects and vibrating). My oldest daughter (17) really likes it too! I reccomend (sp) this for all children."

Carol and I don't have kids. I've kind of regretted that during the last few years, but with the way the world as turned ugly over the same years, perhaps it's a good thing. Danielle van Dam. Jennifer Short. Elizabeth Smart. Ashley Pond and Miranda Gaddis. Too many abductions - not enough recovered alive. Is this going too far or is it something that will be the norm in the future?

Wooo Hooo!!! Another one of those great pieces of spam that we have all received. I think I'll include it here so we can all share...

Union Bank of Nigerian PLC,
Zonal Branch Office,
Ikeja,
Lagos.

Dear Friend,
I am Jeffery Dede,Assistant General Manager(A.G.M)
Foreign Operations,Union Bank Of Nigeria PLC.I am
moved to write you this mail due to it's importance,
urgency and profit.And i am sorry if this mail is
coming to you as an intruision in to your private
life.
A foreigner, late Dr. Roland Greens, an Oil
Magnate,until his death
three years ago, made a huge deposit with us, here
at
Union Bank PLC, Lagos, and with a closing balance of
USD$18.5M (Eighteen Million, Five Hundred Thousand
United States Dollars).The Bank will unquestionably
release this funds to as claims by any of his
available next of kin(Wife Mrs Escadar Greens or son
Kenneth Greens) OR alternatively be donated to a
discredited Trust Fund For Arms and
Ammunition(T.F.F.A.A) at the military war college
here
in Nigeria, according to the document before us.

Fervent efforts have been made by the Management of
the Bank to get in
touch with any of Dr.Greens'next of kins or families> but to no avail. It is due to the perceived
impossibility of locating any of late Dr. Roland
Greens' next of kin ( wife and child) that the
management met to declare this funds"UNCLAIMED
DEPOSIT". It has resolved at releasing this funds to

The Trust Fund For Arms and Ammunition.
In order to to make use of this golden
opportunity,my
Boss, colleagues and I agreed to seek the assistance
of a foreigner who will be willing to assume and
pose> as the beneficiary next of kin of Dr.Greens.Now,we
seek your cooperation to have you stand as late Dr.
Roland Green`s next of kin to enable us transfer the
money without stress into your personal
Account($18.5m).
All documents and proves to enable you get this
fund
have been carefully worked out and we are assuring
you
a 100% risk free .We have agreed to offer 30% of the
money to you,10% has been set aside to cover all
expenses incured by both Parties(you and I) while
the
rest,60% would be for myself and my colleagues.
If this proposal is OK. by you and you do not wish
to
take advantage
of the trust, we hope to do more business with you.
Send us your response as soon as possible through my
Boss'(THE GENERAL MANAGER FOREIGN OPERATIONS
DEPT)'email address ememgold009@yahoo.co.uk Her
name
is Mrs.Kehinde Okoro.
God bless you.
Regards,
Jeffery Dede.

OK, the apocalypse is on its way... it has to be... Hooters of America Inc. is considering buying bankrupt Vanguard Airlines.

Hmmm... a web-enabled lawn mower...

The King died 25 years ago today. Long Live Elvis! (What am I saying... he is alive! At least in cyberspace...). Next Friday night is Elvis Night at Comiskey, always an "odd" night for fun!

Last weekend they started selling Pepsi Blue at Comiskey. Had my first one and loved it, though I think it's best to drink it as cold as possible. Carol bought me a couple to have at home. Cold berry cola fusion. Thinking about having one now. Did you know it's caffeinated, the same as Pepsi? (37 milligrams per 12 ounces). Hey - someone has a blog about everything Pepsi Blue...

A couple of suburbs over, in the town of Itasca, they have a problem - squirrel attacks. Seems the squirrels are getting a bit demanding over there... there's been 5 attacks over the past 2 weeks... makes you wonder what they're thinkin' when you see them bounding down the street, stop, turn and look at you...

I know this happened a few days ago, but how freaked out would you be if you went to an aquarium to see the sharks and wind up falling into the water in the shark tank! I can't imagine...

If there was one thing I've learned during the last 14 months is that I know I have a lot of free time. That's what happens when the dot-com era tanks, the economy goes down the drain with it and you wind up unemployed.. But I don't think I had as much time as this guy.

I'm sure that my sister knew this, but there's a report that says dogs are smarter than people think.

Whew! That asteroid that I mentioned last week looks like will miss the Earth after all - but they're not sure about February 1, 2060 yet.

I was talking with Barry over lunch about the possible End Of The World in 2019. It sounds like it's higher odds to win the Mega-Millions lottery (1 in 135,145,920) than to get hit by this asteroid in 17 years (1 in 60,000). I'm not feeling too good about this - hopefully the scientific community will be able to take more observations and get better data to make sure that this isn't going to happen. What is interesting, though, is that the National Safety Council (those Green Cross people) have a table - Odds of Death Due to Injury, United States, 1998 - to show the odds of dying by certain events. Did you know that for any given year, there is a 1 in 390,532 chance of dying in an Air or space transport accident?

I wish I was still employed so that I can reap the benefits of System Administrator Appreciation Day (this Friday)...

I knew this had to happen eventually - somebody wrote a virus specific to the WebTV platform that, when infected, calls 911.

"Warning! Warning! Danger Will Robinson!" We have less than 17 years to live! Huh? There's an asteroid that may hit earth on February 1, 2019. It's 2km wide and can obliterate a continent. Party!

If you saw a helicopter landing in your neighborhood, would you panic and do this?

Ummm... look, I really don't write well. I don't have the gift of gab. I don't really know how to turn a catchy phrase. I mean, look at my blog entries here! But even I know when to use certain euphamisms and when not to. I think this is one situation that you don't use them - especially in a headline of a news article that makes the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill produce a press release.

Update: Oops... I broke protocol... I got the article via a link from Mike at aka Cooties. Sorry, Mike - my bad.

OK, maybe a "knee-jerk" reaction, but this is something that makes me sick to my stomach and angry at the same time. What has happened to our society? Why is it that we hear more items like this instead of less? Why are we becoming twisted? Why the indifference to life? the guy is 24 years old - how was he brought up? What makes a man do this? Peer pressure? And what about the 10 to 12 other people that were there with him???

Man arrested for burning kitten on grill

Why do I feel that Odd Todd knows my life?

So apparently, last summer's "Summer of the Shark" was just a media frenzy. Here's a great stat for you: In a typical year, 10 people are killed by sharks worldwide. During the same year, 150 people are killed by falling coconuts. I don't seem to recall seeing the "Summer of the Coconut" media coverage...

For those of you who me (or actually, know us), you know that I've been married since 1979. That's right - over 22 years. You have no freaking idea how funny this page is when you look at it with 22 years of married life under your belt!

From the "Just Because You Can, Doesn't Mean You Should" Department - ABC does it again: "ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT PRESENTS: LAVERNE & SHIRLEY TOGETHER AGAIN" May 7 - 8:00 p.m., ET/PT and "THAT'S INCREDIBLE: THE REUNION" TUESDAY, May 21 8:00 p.m., ET

Damn... yesterday's Chicago Tribune had only 3 columns of Computer Jobs, and my web agents are finding little... time to fire up the Evil Plan Generator...

The world seems upside-down.

It's the 7th anniversary of the 1995 Oklahoma City bombing - the first terror attack on the US from within. Tomorrow is the 3rd anniversary of the Columbine High School shooting. We wind up accidentally bombing Canadians in Afghanistan. Thank you, Illinois Air National Guard. A single-engine private plane crashed into Pireli Tower in Milan, Italy. An Amtrak train derails in Florida.

The Seattle Times is reporting that the White House has said they are considering the use of "The Evil Empire's" (Microsoft's) Passport technology to identify citizens online - Sort of a Virtual National ID Card. Somebody is actually recording George the 43rd's (aka George W.) misspeaks at DubyaSpeak.com, where they do their best "to keep up with the gravy train of strained English."

Then in something that did not surprise me at all, Robert Blake arrested for murdering his wife.

OK, this is a bit too political, but DAMN, THIS PISSES ME OFF.... Look at the photo. Look at where this is occuring. And remember, holding up two fingers doesn't always means "peace" - it also means "Victory". And who do you think she is trying to be - a "suicide bomber" or a "homicide bomber"?

Wow, cool stuff... Googlematic searches Google via an Instant Messaging product (AOL or MSN). And someone actually rode one of those Segway things for a few hours and wrote about it.

Oooooo... techno-geek alert - an interesting application of technology, if only someone can figure out how to implement it in a cost effective manner so that your local bar or club can use it - a drinking glass that can signal when it's almost empty. I guess it's called iGlassware.

Wait... I'm in Blogistan? Or am I in Lower Blogovia? I think Alex Beam in his Boston Globe article is a little bit off-base on blogging. "Welcome to Blogistan, the Internet-based journalistic medium where no thought goes unpublished, no long-out-of-print book goes unhawked, and no fellow ''blogger,'' no matter how outre, goes unpraised." Fortunately, others have replied. Of course, it happens to be a blog. And John Dvorak has decided he's going to blog, so he's written his Eight Rules for the Perfect Blog in his article Deconstructing the Blog.

In a way, I'm glad our bunny Indy never learned how to grab on to things, not like this rabbit...

Oh, man, this is just so damn cool... I saw this link at Erin's site, and I had to mention it. It's a great implementation of technology to stop your cat from bringing "gifts" into the house...

Linked via KateSpot (I'm not sure if this makes me feel younger, or just adds to me feeling older than I am):

Boy the Bear's Age Gauge

Oooo... I've always wanted a Sony Aibo robot, and now they've come up with a real cool one...

The War On Terrorism has had me worried since the beginning. Why? Because I don't trust the people that need to do some specific things to bring this phase to an end. I don't trust the new Afghani forces to actually bring the remaining Taliban and al Qaeda to justice, let alone kill or just even capture them, when wide spread corruption has existed in the war lords world for way too long. I don't trust the Pakistani's to do the same with any escaped Taliban or al Qaeda. And now, I'm not feeling too good about our own Government when the INS on MONDAY MARCH 11, 2002, just two days ago, Huffman Aviation of Florida received from the INS M-1 Student Visas for hijackers Mohamed Atta and Marwan Al-Shehhi six months to the day they flew planes into the World Trade Center. Couldn't anyone in the government catch this before they were mailed???

I don't know if you know about this - it seems to be a local story - but there was a guy that was arrested saturday on the UIC campus on suspicion of burglary. Big deal, eh? Well, now the guy is in federal custody, charged with possession of a chemical weapon!!!! He's 25 years old, and has been living in the subway since jumping bail in Wisconsin. He had a pound of Cyanide stashed away in a CTA vault that was on the Blue Line subway downtown. Scary enough for you? Could you imagine what could have happened??? He's got a nickname - "Dr. Chaos". Sgt. Teri Vogel of the Door County sheriff's police said Konopka "definitely has the propensity to commit mass destruction." Gee, I feel safe... not!

Direct from the Shawano County Wisconsin Sherrif's Office Most Wanted List:

Joseph D. Konopka (06.24.1976) AKA Tim Whiting, Doctor Chaos, Doc Chaos, Doc Chaz.  Konopka is wanted for Felony Failure to Appear on multiple Burglary, Theft and Criminal Damage charges (Door County); Felony Bail Jumping and Felony Criminal Damage/Solicitation of a Child to Commit a Felony/Arson (Shawano County); Felony Burglary and Criminal Damage charges (FBI); Felony Failure to Appear for Pretrial Conference (Kewaunee County); and, Felony Criminal Damage to Property - Business (Marquette County).  If you have any information concerning this person, please contact your local law enforcement agency or call the Shawano County Sheriff's Office at 715.526.3111. 
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO APPREHEND ANY OF THE LISTED PERSONS.

OK, another day, still unemployed. I wonder what it whould be like to get a job at McDonald's. Hmmmm... Let me simulate that...

OK, this is bad - when the thunderstorms came through, it also brought high winds. The house is creaking and occasionally we hear a bang or bump something from somewhere. This is the worst we have heard. The furnace is doing something weird, too - sometimes it won't turn on. We're hoping it's related to the wind. The highest wind gust recorded was 58mph at Meigs Field (52mph out here at O'Hare). There was a bad accident downtown. Some scaffolding that blew off the Hancock building (what the hell was scaffolding doing on the Hancock with these kind of winds????) crashing into a three cars on Chestnut Street, killing three people. The rest of the scaffolding just swung around crashing into windows of the floors around it. This looked bad. I saw on a news broadcast a car with no roof (probably cut off), that had two people in the back seat in cervical collars - the people in the front seat had been killed. There's going to be lawsuits coming out of this...

Damn, I know all I'm doing right now is posting links to other things, but here's a great little interractive game - it's a web based Rubik's Cube! (I don't think I've ever posted as many links like today...)

Some of these almost sound familiar - The Euphamism Generator

Hmmm... the marriage of Blogging and Knowledge Management (which I'm interested in, since I'm a Lotus Notes guy) - What is a k-log?

Well, it's getting to be Easter Time again... time to see how those marshmallow bunnies make it through Bunny Survival Tests. Of course, The Bunnies Strike Back so it's time to test those Evil Peeps.

On my way home from my parent's house, I was listening to NPR. There was a story that kind of upset me. Every year, monarch butterflies migrate to Mexico to spend the winter, basically November to March. Last month (January 12-13), there was this cold front that moved over the Michoacan region (filled with hills and pine trees). Well, it was a weird little weather front and it killed (according to the World Wildlife Fund) up to 250 million monarch butterflies. Here's a quote: "This is not about the extinction of the species, although we cannot know for sure what is going to happen."

What is self titled as "The Best Picture Ever". Retro flashback!

The geese are back... now I'm starting to think they're inviting friends...

Got the mail and saw a letter from Unemployment... lots of things run through your head when you see a letter like this, all of which have to do with losing your benefits. Turns out, it's just a letter saying that the calculation changed for calendar year 2002. Unfortunately, I made too much money during my 6 months of work last year for that new calculation to make any difference - I'm still at the max allowable.

OK trust me, the next two things aren't related (I don't think...)

We have to sit through another State of the Union speech tonight by George the 43rd. Look, I'm behind the guy absolutely 100% when it come to the War On Terror, but I never liked his domestic policies. I hope we start turning up the heat in the Philippines, and, after seeing Black Hawk Down over the weekend, I hope that Somalia gets "cleaned-up" as well, but the rest of the policies? Fahgetaboutit.

Now - not related (I don't think), the Mayor of Inglis, Florida (Carolyn Risher) issued a proclamation that declared the Prince of Darkness persona non grata. "Satan, ruler of darkness, giver of evil, destroyer of what is good and just, is not now, nor ever again will be, a part of this town of Inglis." Think the ACLU is happy?

The National Anthem Of Bloggers!!! The whacky Canadian Mike at aka Cooties came up with this... UltraSuperHyperMegaUberBlogerrific!

When you do something illegal, what makes you tell the police? From the December 20, 2001 Schaumburg Pioneer Press Police Blotter:

A man reported that a prostitute had stolen $4,500 from him between 6:30 and 11:30am Dec. 9 in the 1700 block of Nature Court. According to a police report, the man had earlier that night been at Heavenly Bodies in Elk Grove and then had gone to the Grand Victoria casino in Elgin where he had received a $10,000 cash advance on his credit card. He then went to Chicago where he picked up a prostitute, who bought drugs on the street. They went back to his Nature Court home where they drank and snorted heroin. He passed out and when he woke up, discovered the money, his credit card, some jewelry and the prostitute gone.