CBS UNVEILS THE IDENTITIES OF THE 10 FAMILIES COMPETING IN "THE AMAZING RACE: FAMILY EDITION"

Eighth Installment of the Emmy Award-Winning Series Begins With A Special Two-Hour Premiere on Tuesday, September 27, 9:00-11:00 PM, ET/PT

The Amazing Race: Family Edition Moves To Its Regular Tuesday, 9:00-10:00 PM Time Period Beginning October 4

CBS today announced the identities of the 10 families set to compete in THE AMAZING RACE: FAMILY EDITION. For the first time ever, the Emmy Award-winning reality adventure series will feature teams of four instead of two, comprised of family members. The 10 teams of families will compete against one another in a race around the world for a $1 million prize. THE AMAZING RACE: FAMILY EDITION will begin with a special two-hour premiere on Tuesday, Sept. 27 (9:00-11:00 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network.

THE AMAZING RACE: FAMILY EDITION will be broadcast regularly on Tuesdays (9:00-10:00 PM, ET/PT) beginning Oct. 4.

THE AMAZING RACE has won two consecutive Emmy Awards for Best Reality Program is currently nominated for a third time.

Following are the 10 families, listed in no particular order:

TEAM: GODLEWSKI SISTERS

Michelle (42)
Sharon (39)
Christine (37)
Tricia (26)

Hometown: Des Plaines, Ill.

TEAM: WEAVER FAMILY (WIDOW AND KIDS)

Linda (46)
Rebecca (19)
Rachel (16)
Rolly (14) - Male

Hometown: Ormond Beach, Fla.

TEAM: GAGHAN FAMILY

Bill (40)
Tammy (42)
Billy (12)
Carissa (9)

Hometown: Glastonbury, Conn.

TEAM: BLACK FAMILY

Reggie (42)
Kim (40)
Kenneth (11)
Austin (8)

Hometown: Woodbridge, Va.

TEAM: LINZ FAMILY (SIBLINGS)

Nick (24) – Currently resides in Buffalo, N.Y.
Alex (22)
Megan (21)
Tommy (19)

Hometown: Cincinnati

TEAM: ROGERS FAMILY

Denny (46)
Renee (42)
Brittney (22)
Brock (19)

Hometown: Shreveport, La.

TEAM: SCHROEDER FAMILY (DAD, STEPMOM AND KIDS)

Mark (40)
Char (39)
Stassi (16)
Hunter (14)

Hometown: New Orleans

TEAM: BRANSEN FAMILY (DAD AND DAUGHTERS)

Walter (51)
Elizabeth (25)
Lauren (22)
Lindsay (20)

Hometown: Park Ridge, Ill.

TEAM: AIELLO FAMILY (FATHER AND SONS-IN-LAW)

Tony (57)
Kevin (31)
Matt ( 31)
David (26) – Currently resides in North Providence, R.I.

Hometown: Mansfield, Mass.

TEAM: PAOLO FAMILY

Tony (52)
Marion (52)
DJ (24) - Male
Brian (16)

Hometown: Carmel, N.Y.

THE AMAZING RACE: FAMILY EDITION features 10 teams -- each comprised of four family members -- on a trek around the world for approximately 30 days. At every destination, each team will have to compete in a series of challenges -- some mental and some physical -- and only when the tasks have been completed will they learn their next destination. Teams who are farthest behind will gradually be eliminated as the contest progresses, with the first team to arrive at the final destination winning $1 million.

Jerry Bruckheimer, Bertram van Munster, Jonathan Littman and Hayma Screech Washington are the executive producers for Bruckheimer Television and Earthview Inc. in association with Touchstone Television and Amazing Race Productions. Amy Chacon and Evan Weinstein are co-executive producers. THE AMAZING RACE was created by Bertram van Munster and Elise Doganieri.

For more information on THE AMAZING RACE: FAMILY EDITION and the new 10 teams of families log on to www.cbs.com.

• Adam Malis, 27, personal trainer, Los Angeles; Rebecca Cardon, 29, personal trainer, Los Angeles (formerly dating)
• Avi Schneier, 32, high school teacher, New York City; Joe Rashbaum, 32, advertising-agency owner, Ventura, California (high school friends)
• Don St. Clare, 69, physician, Portola Valley, California; Mary Jean St. Clare, 66, interior designer, Portola Valley, California (married 20 years)
• Freddy Holliday, 34, pilot-model, Miami; Kendra Bentley, 25, model, Miami (engaged)
• Gus McLeod, 50, former CIA agent, Gaithersburg, Maryland; Hera McLeod, 24, special-education teacher, Los Angeles (father/daughter)
• Hayden Kristianson, 25, model-actor, Los Angeles; Aaron Crumbaugh, 25, model-actor, Los Angeles (dating)
• Jonathan Baker, 42, entrepreneur, Los Angeles; Victoria Fuller, 32, model-artist, Los Angeles (married)
• Kris Perkins, 30, student-waitress, Long Beach, California; Jon Buehler, 29, restaurant partner, Scottsdale, Arizona (long-distance dating)
• Lena Jensen, 23, student, Pleasant Grove, Utah; Kristy Jensen, 26, model, Pleasant Grove, Utah (sisters)
• Lori Harvey, 33, professional wrestler, Molino, Florida; Bolo Dar'Tainian, 38, professional wrestler, Molino, Florida (married)
• Meredith Tufaro, 26, licensing manager, New York; Maria Sampogna, 26, registered sales assistant, New York (best friends)

Big Brother has been our Guilty Pleasure Of Summer since it started in 2000. What we enjoy so much more than the packaged shows that CBS airs is the live Internet feeds. It allows anyone with a Real Networks player to watch up to 4 different feeds live from the house 24/7... or thereabouts. The voyeur aspect of the feeds is unbelievable. Depending on who is up and what is going on, Carol and I could watch the house for hours. This year's crop of people weren't too bad, though they weren't the best we've seen over the years. We so addicted, we have a computer connected to our Sony 27" TV so we can watch with ease - the audio going out through the stereo system.

Anyway, it's over for the year. The winner this year - Drew Daniel of Urbana, Ohio gets over Michael "Cowboy" Ellis of Durant, Oklahoma.

Then, my favorite multiple-award-winning reality show - The Amazing Race - ended tonight as well. Tonight's show seemed like it was the most physical legs at the end of a race since the show started. Anyway, due to fog and luck, Chip & Kim McAllister wound up as the winners on The Amazing Bathmat in Dallas.

Fortunately, Amazing Race 6 will be starting in just a few weeks!

A team that was likely part of The Amazing Race 6, which is taping this month, was spotted in Chicago on Friday. As the show typically concludes in the US, and since it's late in the month, that suggests Chicago is either the final destination or a stopover in on the way to the final city in the US. Mike in Chicago writes:

Looks like TAR 6 may end in Chicago. On Friday Aug 13, I saw them running down Adams St, towards the Sears tower. ... I saw a team of 2 females, with a camera crew of two (one camera, one mic guy). The girls had on their fanny packs with the yellow/red marker/flag on them. It was about a second after they passed me by that I realized they were Amazing Race people.

Based on when TAR 6 airs, this is likely the end of the race, not the start. Unless Chicago is the first stop back in the USA, before they go to the final US city. Either way, looks like Chicago is part of the final TAR 6 episode!

• Alison & Donny - Dating - Yes, it's that Alison & Donny. Alison is 23, unemployed, and lives in Meadville, PA. Donny is 21, a student, and lives in Shenandoah, PA
• Bob Barron & Joyce Nicolo - Internet Dating Couple - Both live in Mount Laurel, N.J. He's 61 and retired, she's 53 and a Medical Practice Admin
• Brandon Davidson & Nicole O'Brian - Dating - Nicole, 21, lives in L.A., was Miss Texas USA 2003 and second runner up at Miss USA 2003, is also an actor. Brandon, 25, is a model and lives in Houston (they met at Bridal Extravaganza)
• Charla Faddoul & Mirna Hindoyan - Cousins - Both 27 and born at the same hospital in Syria one month apart. Charla is s store manager and has a form of dwarfism, lives in Phoenix, MD (I didn't know there was a Phoenix in Maryland). Mirna is a Lawyer and lives in Towson, MD.
• Chip & Kim McAllister - Married Parents - Chip is 46 and is the owner of a web technology company. Kim is 44 and is the owner of an information technology recruiting company. They've been married over 25 years and live in Coto De Caza, CA.
• Colin Guinn & Christie Woods - Dating - Colin is 24 and is the owner of a cell phone store, while Christie, 26, is the managing partner of a "Longevity and Wellness Center". Oh, an she was 1996 Miss Teen USA. They both live in Corpus Christi, TX.
• Dennis Frentsos & Erika Shay - Once Engaged - Oh, boy... that's a good moniker... this should be interesting to watch. Why did they break up? From the CBS website: Dennis broke off the engagement after Erika went skydiving naked. As Dennis describes it, "I thought I was dreaming, but no, here comes my future wife floating through the air with nothing on but socks and sneakers and a naked instructor strapped to her back." He's 27, a mortgage broker and lives in West Nyack, NY. She's 25, a wedding planner, and lives in Piermont, NY.
• Jim & Marsha McCoy - Father/Daughter - She's 26 and a law student at the University of Florida College of Law while living in Gainesville, FL. He's 53, a helicopter pilot, and lives in Jacksonville, FL. Oh, I guess Marsha was a Jacksonville Jaguars cheerleader.
• Kami & Karli French - Identical Twins - 26 and living in Eugene, OR, Kami is the general manager of a restaurant and Karli is a full-time student at the University of Oregon.
• Linda Ruiz & Karen Heins - Best Friends - Living in Palmdale, CA, are bowling doubles partners and mothers. Karen, 41, is a stay at home mom and Linda, 45, teaches tennis
• Marshall & Lance Hudes - Brothers - Marshall, 31, and Lance, 26, are from New York but live in Dallas, TX where they own and operate a pizza shop.

Here we are - the final episode...

We're on Ellis Beach on the North coast of Australia. David & Jeff (known to us as Team Who?) are the first to depart at 1:47am. "Teams must now drive themselves 20 miles to the Tjapukai Aboriginal Cultural Park. Here, they will join in a traditional ceremony in which fire will signal tribesmen to bring them their next clue." Oh oh... Jeff narrates that he thinks that "they've made the least amount of mistakes of the three teams that remains at this point." Then they show that Team Who? doesn't really know how to close the rear doors of their Toyota SUV. All I can say is "oh, oh...". The Chipsters depart at 2:14am. There is only $1 given for this leg of the race. They narrate that people think all gay people are "queenie". Oh, boy. Team Who gets to the park to find out that Hours of Operation are 6am-6pm. Great - time for another "TAR Bunch-up". Jon & Kelly depart at 2:38am. Kelly: "Hours of Operation 6am to 6pm. We can still catch up." Jon: "Awwww... doesn't that stink for the boys.... let's go...".They are just way too nice to each other this morning. The sun comes up, all three teams are at the gate, and as it opens all break into al all-out run to the ceremony site. The watch intently as aborigines try to make a fire. In what has to be the most coolest visual thing of this season, a tribesman puts a long spear into a blazing fire, withdrawing what seems to by a bright sparkler at it's tip. He uses the spear to hurl the sparkling thing off the tip and across about at least 100 feet of water toward a very small wooded island. When the burning thing reaches the island, the whole frickin' island goes up in flames (must have had a huge open gas main out there). Way cool. More tribesmen show up with a container full of "message sticks" which hold their next clue. Teams must now drive themselves 15 miles to the airport in the city of Cairns and search for the General Aviation Terminal, where they'll find their next clue. Oh, oh... "General Aviation Terminal" is not good. It's drizzling/raining as the sun is coming up. There's a white-knuckle SUV race to the airport and Chip sends his SUV hydroplaning off the road after he passed Jon & Kelly. He's lucky the vehicle didn't roll. Kelly tells Jon to keep on going because they're OK (referring to The Chipsters). Team Who is first to the Route Marker, followed right behind by Jon & Kelly and The Chipsters. The clue is a Detour - "Wing It" or "Wander it". In "Wing It" teams must get into a plane, climb to a height of 10,000 feet, and skydive in tandem with an instructor to their next clue. The task is potentially frightening, but teams can finish it fast. In "Wander It", teams drive to a mangrove forest and find a boat, use it to navigate out of the forest and then to the skydiving landing zone to get their next clue. There's nothing frightening about the task, but completing it could take a very long time. Everyone choses "Wing It". (Reichen decides that this is better than being in a car with Chip!)

Everyone makes the jump, (though some (Kelly) were quite more frightened than others) and everybody had a great time. Team Who? is first on the ground and get to the Route Marker. Teams must now travel 4,700 miles to the island of Hawaii, also known as The Big Island. When they land, they'll have to chose a car (Another SUV - looks like a Ford) and drive themselves to Kaulana Bay - the southern-most part of the United States. It's now another trip back to Cairns Airport, but now to the International Terminal. Except for The Chipsters who want the Domestic Terminal. Team Who? (mostly Jeff) discusses that they should go to Sydney since Qantas was hubbed out of there so they'll get a better chance of getting to Hawaii.Turns out the Chipsters knew that even though they're at the domestic terminal Qantas is so good with customer service that they'll help them out. Kelly checks out a flight out of Sydney, but they'll miss the connecting flight. Team Who? books a flight to Sydney, with a flight to Honolulu the next day. They take off to Sydney, hoping to make better connections through there. The Chipsters book a flight from Cairns to Tokyo on Qantas and then a United flight that gets them into Honolulu at 6:55am (which sounds like they'll be in Hawaii before Team Who? leaves Australia). Kelly & Jon wind-up booking the same flights as The Chipsters from the other terminal. Team Who? gets to Sydney and works the phones for better connections. They think JAL can help them through japan, but all flights have left. They worked 3 hours trying to work any route and can't get out of Australia. In Tokyo the two teams try to make the transfer from Qantas to United - which is in a different terminal - within 45 minutes. The Chipsters got the bus and booked. Kelly & Jon get to a different terminal, get a United employee to help, get their own bus, and get to the gate - only to need boarding passes which they don't have. The Chipsters board the plane, the rest of the gate crew won't let them on and Kelly & Jon miss the United flight - as The Chipsters get upgraded to Business Class and drink champagne on the way to Hawaii.

Kelly is devastated that they missed the flight. They find a flight that gets in at 8:05am instead of 6:55am, so they take it. We see The Chipsters arrive at Kona Airport on the big island - but we have no idea how they got there (since they were going to Honolulu). They drive to Kaulana Bay. Team Who? is still in Sydney and is now worried since they didn't see any of the teams come through there. The get on their flight to Honolulu. Kelly & Jon arrive in Kona. Chip is steak behind a slow driver and you know that's just pissing him off. The Chipsters hit the bay and find the Route Marker. The clue is a Roadblock: "Who is a strong swimmer and good with a hammer?" In this Roadblock, the team member has to swim out to a floating tiki head, dive beneath the waves to the rock below and get the rock back to the beach. Once on shore, they'll have to smash the rock open to retrieve the clue from inside. Chip is chosen for the task, and gets the rock back to the beach. It takes a long time with a hammer and chisel to get the rock open. Jon & Kelly are on the road to Kaulana Bay. Chip finally gets te rock open. The clue is in a tube at the core. Teams must drive themselves 60 miles to Hawaii Volcanoes National Park and find a lookout point.Then, they must follow a marked path across a field of hardened lava to a Route Marker. The Chipsters drive to the Park, Jon & Kelly get to Route Marker and Jon decides to do the task. But, he doesn't want to get his underwear wet, so he decides to do the task naked. Oh. Good. God. Who the hell would crouch over a rock with a hammer, chisel, and safety glasses, with pieces of sharp rock flying everywhere totally naked? Looks like Jon gets through the rock with little effort (or a lot of editing). Jon puts on his pants and drive to the volcanoes. The Chipsters arrive, walk the path, and get to the Route Marker. Teams must now travel 2,900 miles to their final destination city - Phoenix Arizona. Once there, they must search for a monument - the anchor from the U.S.S. Arizona, one of the ships sunk during the attack on Pearl Harbor. It's here they will get their next clue. The Chipsters decide to go to Hilo instead of back to Kona for the flight. Kelly & Jon reach the Route Marker and they take off. Kelly has flight info for flights back to Honolulu. They decide that Kona has more flights so they head back there. The Chipsters book a flight from Hilo to Honolulu that gets in at 8:17pm and then a flight leaves at 11:15pm for Phoenix that arrives at 8:15am. They fly to Honolulu. Jon & Kelly get to Kona and fly to Honolulu. The Chipsters, in Honolulu, try to get the best seat assignments at the front of the plane. Jon & Kelly, in Honolulu, book a flight to Phoenix - the same one as The Chipsters, and 4 rows behind them. The Chipsters start asking people in the terminal waiting areas on the exact location of the anchor. Kelly & Jon start doing the same. They enter Gate 33 and fly back to the mainland.

The flight to Phoenix looks stressful to the racers. They land in Phoenix and race through the airport. The Chipsters are first to get a cab. Chip looks like he's bribing the driver as soon as they pull away. Kelly & Jon get a cab right behind them. The Chipsters now say they'll give the guy $50 to get there as fast as they can. Jon gives his driver the "first hundred bucks" as their bribe. The teams talk about emergencies, the race, other cabs trying to overtake you. The Chipsters get to the anchor, while Jon & Kelly may have the right park but their cab driver doesn't know where the anchor is. The Chipsters read their clue: "You've come a long way from Dodger Stadium and you're almost there. So, make your way to the southeast entrance of Sun Devil Stadium." They get back into their waiting cab. Kelly & Jon's driver finds the anchor. They bolt for the Route Marker, read the clue, and head back for the cab. Did I mention that it's been raining in Phoenix? Well, Jon runs toward a low wall to jump over it when his feet slide out from underneath him as he slams into the wall. They get in the cab and take off. Reichen gives the cab driver another $50 "just to keep you motivated". Just then we see Jon tell their cab driver "I've got another $100 bucks if you drive like a madman." The Chipsters hit Sun Devil Stadium and run to the Route Marker. They have the cab driver turn his cab around so it's pointed put ward just to make sure they get a fast getaway. They read the clue: "To find your next clue, solve the following puzzle. Happy Valentine's Day + White + White." To solve the riddle, teams must first translate the date - February 14th - into the number 214. They must then figure out that "White + White" refers to the two players who's name's White are written on the stadium's wall. One White is number 33 (this refers to Wilford White) and the other is 11 (this refers to Danny White). Using all these numbers, teams must figure out that they need to get to Section 214 Row 33 Seat 11 to get their next clue. Chip is on the right track, checking out Section 2 Row 14. Kelly and Jon are still going to the stadium. Chip realizes that he 200's are upstairs, so they climb up the ramps. They get to 214 and Chip slowly walks up the stairs. He looks up, sees the players numbers and names on the facade and heads to row 33. Chip grabs the clues and start their way back down as we see Kelly & Jon's cab pull into the facility. Kelly gets out and bolts to the Route Marker. (Hmmm... I don't see The Chipsters' cab... bad editing... and you know what's weird? There's four clues, not three... a ruse so that the people don't really know who's in the lead?) Still on the ramps down, Reichen reads the clue: "Make your way to the west parking lot of Papago Park. Chose a pair of mountain bikes and ride the marked path until you reach the end of the bike course - the Finish Line." Jon & Kelly figure out the clue as The Chipsters pull away. John & Kelly get the final clue and get back to their cab and leave. Tension is building. It's 8 o'clock at night and the editing makes it into a mad scramble with the taxis. We see a cab pull up. The Chipsters get out and walk to the rack of marked mountain bikes. They take off down the path. We see Phil on the huge final mat, looking out toward the distance. All of the eliminated teams are shown cheering. Kelly and Jon pull up in their cab, get their bikes and take off. Reichen and Chip hit the end of the trail, drop the bikes, and start running up a trail and onto the stage/mat.

"4 continents. 24 cities. 44,000 miles. Reichen & Chip, you are the official winners of The Amazing Race!"

Chip has a tearful speech. Jon & Kelly run up to the stage. "Kelly and Jon, you're the second team to arrive. Congratulations." Kelly breaks down sobbing. They narrate a few things.

And then we see fresh, hot lava pouring over what appears to be an asphalt road in the dark at 5:30am. David & Jeff walk out of their SUV in the rain and darkness to the Route Marker. You hear David say "Are we first? Are we the first team?" dripping in not rain but sarcasm. David reads the final clue: "Route Info. Reichen and Chip have crossed the Finish Line. The Race is over. Kelly and Jon came in second."

And thus ends what might be the last episode ever of the best Reality show on television. As of right now, CBS has not committed to a fifth year. Damn

Hey, you want to look at an overview of The Race? Look at this from Television Without Pity as viewed by Reichen and Chip:

On their journey, we have seen them riding 10 cars, 19 planes, 9 trains, 2 charter vans, 38 taxis, 2 ski-lifts, 1 zipline, 1 snow-raft, 2 buses, 1 gondola, 1 fiacre, 3 boats, 2 bikes, 1 bicycle wagon, 2 subways and 1 horse.

(Each taxi trip is counted separately, spoon-fed cars are counted as separate on different legs.)

SATURDAY 18 JANUARY - Day One
Dodger Stadium, Los Angeles, California, USA
Car to Los Angeles Airport, Los Angeles
Plane to Schiphol Airport, Amsterdam, Netherlands

SUNDAY 19 JANUARY - Day Two
Schiphol Airport, Amsterdam, Netherlands
Plane to Malpensa Airport, Milan, Lombardy, Italy
Subway to Galleria Vittorio Emanuele II, Milan
Walk to Hotel Nuovo, Milan

MONDAY 20 JANUARY - Day Three
Hotel Nuovo, Milan, Lombardy, Italy
Walk to Piazza Fontana, Milan
Charter Van to Piazza Roma, Cortina D'Ampezzo, Veneto, Italy
Taxi to Cinque Torri, Cortina D'Ampezzo
Ski-lift, Zipline and Ski-lift again at Cinque Torri
Taxi to Hotel Lajadira, Cinque Torri

TUESDAY 21 JANUARY - Day Four
Hotel Lajadira, Cortina D'Ampezzo, Veneto, Italy
Taxi to Trampolino Olimpico, Cortina D'Ampezzo
Snow-raft at Trampolino Olimpico
Taxi to Train Station, Calalzo, Veneto
Bus to Train Station, Alpi, Veneto
Train to Stazione Santa Lucia, Venice, Venito
Walk to Ponte Della Guglia, Venice
Gondola to Calle Querini, Venice
Walk to Palazzo da Mosto, Venice
Walk to Citta di Padova, Venice

WEDNESDAY 22 JANUARY - Day Five
Citta di Padova, Venice, Veneto, Italy
Walk to Stazione Santa Lucia, Venice
Train to Verona, Veneto, Italy
Train to Innsbruck, Austria
Train to Westbahnhof Train Station, Vienna, Austria
Walk to Friedrichstrasse/Operngasse, Vienna
Walk to Kaiserhof Hotel, Vienna

THURSDAY 23 JANUARY - Day Six
Kaiserhof Hotel, Vienna, Austria
Walk to Friedrichstrasse/Operngasse, Vienna
Walk to Stadtpark, Vienna
Fiacre to Schonbrunn Palace, Vienna
Walk to Figarohaus, Vienna
Taxi to Donautrum, Vienna
Taxi to Westbahnhof Train Station, Vienna
Train to Attnang Train Station, Gmunden, Austria
Taxi to Seeschloss Orth, Gmunden

FRIDAY 24 JANUARY - Day Seven
Extended Pitstop at Seeschloss Orth, Gmunden, Austria

SATURDAY 25 JANUARY - Day Eight
Seeschloss Orth, Gmunden, Austria
Taxi to Salzburg Airport. Salzburg, Austria
Plane to Frankfurt Airport, Frankfurt, Germany
Plane to CDG Airport, Paris, France
Taxi to Montparnesse Station, Paris
Train to Le Mans Station, Le Mans, Sarthe
Taxi to Circuit Bugatti, Le Mans
Car to Porte 4 Cap Janet, Marseille, Provence, France

SUNDAY 26 JANUARY - Day Nine
Porte 4 Cap Janet, Marseille, Provence, France
Same car to Sainte Marie Lighthouse, Marseille
Same car to Gorges du Blavet, Provence
Same car to Chateau des Alpilles, St-Rémy de Provence, Provence

MONDAY 27 JANUARY - Day Ten
Chateau des Alpilles, St-Rémy de Provence, Provence, France
Car to Marseille Airport, Marseille, Provence
Plane to Schiphol Airport, Amsterdam, Netherlands
Train to Magere Brug, Amsterdam
Boat to Scheepvaart Museum, Amsterdam
Car to Alkmaar, Netherlands
Same car to Smoker Statue, Monnickendam, Netherlands
Same car to Kasteel Muiderslot, Muiden, Netherlands

TUESDAY 28 JANUARY - Day Eleven
Extended Pitstop at Kasteel Muiderslot, Muiden, Netherlands

WEDNESDAY 29 JANUARY - Day Twelve
Kasteel Muiderslot, Muiden, Netherlands
Taxi to Schiphol Airport, Amsterdam, Netherlands
Plane to Malpensa Airport, Milan, Italy
Plane to CST Airport, Mumbai, Maharashtra, India

THURSDAY 30 JANUARY - Day Thirteen
CST Airport, Mumbai, Maharashtra, India
Taxi to Film City, Mumbai
Bicycle to Studio 10, Film City
Bus to Goregaon Train Station, Mumbai
Train to Mahalaxmi Train Station, Mumbai
Walk to Dhobi Ghat, Mumbai
Taxi to Sassoon Docks, Mumbai
Taxi to Gateway of India, Mumbai

FRIDAY 31 JANUARY - Day Fourteen
Gateway of India, Mumbai, Maharashtra, India
Walk to Taj Mahal Hotel, Mumbai
Taxi to Panvel Train Station, Panvel, Maharashtra
Train to Ernakulam Train Station, Ernakulam, Kerala

SATURDAY 1 FEBRUARY - Day Fifteen
Ernakulam Train Station, Ernakulam, Kerala, India
Taxi to Highway 47, Kerala
Taxi to Sports Field, Pallathuuthi, Kerala
Taxi to Beach Road, Alappuzha, Kerala
Bicycle Wagons to Geogi's Chicken Farm, Alappuzha
Taxi to Finishing Point, Alappuzha

SUNDAY 2 FEBRUARY - Day Sixteen
Extended Pitstop at Finishing Point, Alappuzha, Kerala, India

MONDAY 3 FEBRUARY - Day Seventeen
Finishing Point, Alappuzha, Kerala, India
Taxi to Kochi Airport, Kochi, Kerala
Taxi to PL Worldways Limited, Kochi, Kerala
Taxi to Kochi Airport, Kochi, Kerala
Plane to Kuala Lumpur Airport, Kuala Lumpur Federal Territory, Malaysia

TUESDAY 4 FEBRUARY - Day Eighteen
Kuala Lumpur Airport, Kuala Lumpur Federal Territory, Malaysia
Plane to Kota Kinabalu Airport, Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, Malaysia
Taxi to Monosopiad Cultural Village, Kota Kinabalu
Taxi to Kota Kinabalu Jetty, Kota Kinabalu
Boat to fishing boat on South China Sea, Kota Kinabalu
Same boat to fishery on South China Sea, Kota Kinabalu
Same boat to lobster boat on South China Sea, Kota Kinabalu
Same boat to Manukan Jetty, Manuakan Island, Kota Kinabalu
Walk to Manukan Beach, Manukan Island

WEDNESDAY 5 FEBRUARY - Day Nineteen
Manukan Beach, Manukan Island, Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, Malaysia
Walk to Manukan Jetty, Manuakan Island, Kota Kinabalu
Boat to Kota Kinabalu Jetty, Kota Kinabalu
Taxi to Poring Hot Springs, Poring, Sabah
Car to Sepilok Orangutan Sanctuary, Sepilok, Sabah
Same car to Sepilok Nature Resort, Sepilok
Taxi to Puu Jih Shih Temple, Sandakan, Sabah
Charter Van to Kota Kinabalu Airport, Kota Kinabalu, Sabah

THRUSDAY 6 FEBRUARY - Day Twenty
Kota Kinabalu Airport, Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, Malaysia
Plane to Changi Airport, Singapore
Plane to Incheon Airport, Seoul, South Korea

FRIDAY 7 FEBRUARY - Day Twenty-One
Incheon Airport, Seoul, South Korea
Taxi to Seoul Tower, Seoul
Taxi to Sheraton Hotel, Seoul
Taxi to Sundam Valley, Chirwon, Gangwon-Do, South Korea
Taxi to a subway station, Seoul
Subway to Seoul University Station, Seoul
Walk to octopus restaurant, Seoul
Taxi to Gyeongbokgung Palace, Seoul

SATURDAY 8 FEBRUARY - Day Twenty-Two (Thank you Miri!)
Extended Pitstop at Gyeongbokgung Palace, Seoul, South Korea

SUNDAY 9 FEBRUARY - Day Twenty-Three
Gyeongbokgung Palace, Seoul, South Korea
Taxi to Yeoido Island, Seoul
Taxi to Incheon Airport, Seoul
Plane to Brisbane Airport, Brisbane, Queensland, Australia

MONDAY 10 FEBRUARY - Day Twenty-Four
Brisbane Airport, Brisbane, Queensland, Australia
Taxi to Holiday Inn Hotel, Brisbane
Car to UnderWater World, Mooloolaba, Queensland
Same car to Mooloolaba Yacht Club, Mooloolaba

TUESDAY 11 FEBRUARY - Day Twenty-Five
Mooloolaba Yacht Club, Mooloolaba, Queensland, Australia
Car to Australian Woolshed, Ferny Hills, Queensland

WEDNESDAY 12 FEBRUARY - Day Twenty-Six
Australian Woolshed, Ferny Hills, Queensland, Australia
Same car to Brisbane Airport, Brisbane, Queensland
Plane to Cairns Airport, Cairns, Queensland
Car to Wild World Tropical Zoo, Queensland
Same car to Wangetti Beach, Queensland
Horse at Wangetti Beach
Same car to Off Road Rush, Julatten, Queensland
Car to Ellis Beach, Queensland

THRUSDAY 13 FEBRUARY - Day Twenty-Seven (Thank you EmeraldFire!)
Ellis Beach, Queensland, Australia
Car to Tjapukai Aboriginal Cultural Park, Queensland
Same car to General Aviation Centre, Cairns Airport, Cairns, Queensland
Plane to field, Cairns
Taxi to Cairns Airport, Cairns
Plane to Tokyo-Narita Airport, Tokyo, Japan
Plane to Honolulu Airport, Honolulu, Hawaii, USA

THRUSDAY 13 FEBRUARY - Day Twenty-Eight (Thank you TheSchnauzers!)
Honolulu Airport, Honolulu, Hawaii, USA
Plane to Kona Airport, Kona, Hawaii
Car to Kaulana Bay, Hawaii
Same car to Chain of Craters Rd, Hawaii Volcanoes Ntl Park, Hawaii
Same car to Hilo Airport, Hilo, Hawaii
Plane to Honolulu Airport, Honolulu, Hawaii
Plane to Sky Harbor Airport, Phoenix, Arizona, USA

FRIDAY 14 FEBRUARY - Day Twenty-Nine
Sky Harbor Airport, Phoenix, Arizona, USA
Taxi to USS Arizona Anchor, W Washington Street, Phoenix
Taxi to Sun Devils Stadium, Phoenix
Taxi to Papago Park, Phoenix
Bicycle at Papago Park, Phoenix, Arizona, USA

Well, we're still at the Mooloolaba Yacht Club in Australia, site of last week's Clown Carnage and The Chipsters Penalty.

David and Jeff depart at 10:41pm. Teams must now more than 80 miles to the town of Ferny Hills, find the Australian Woolshed and search through one of these giant piles of wool for their next clue. The teams get $1 for this leg of the race. Guess there's no cabs, no hotels - no international travel this leg. Jon and Kelly depart at 10:59pm. Reichen and Chip depart at 11:33pm. (wow, Jon & Al must have finished around noon then). Ferny Hills must be small because teams are having trouble finding it - in the case of Kelly & Jon, even with a map. Team Who? arrives at the Woolshed first, and find that the Hours of Operation are 6am to 4pm, Team Mean (Kelly & Jon) arrive 2nd, the Chipsters arrive last. All decide to sleep in their SUV's until the morning (they have about 4 hours). I have to call them Team Mean only because they're mean to each other and what they say behind the backs of the other teams (and, at times, to their faces) is just mean. So, the teams are all bunched-up again when the gates open at 6am and the teams take off. OK, there are sheep and Wallabies here? What kind of place is this? They take off sprinting trough the facility and find a shed with three huge piles of wool. The teams rip through the piles. For once, the producers really took their time and really camouflaged and buried the clues. This wasn't easy. Jon find the clue, and he and Kelly quietly run away and open it away from the others. Teams must now drive themselves to Brisbane Airport and fly more than 1,000 miles to the city of Cairns. When they land, they'll chose one of these cars (looks like Toyota Land Cruisers) and drive to Wild World Tropical Zoo , where they'll find their next Route Marker. Team Mean takes-off. The boys keep looking. Team Who winds up going back through their piles because they missed the clue. Reichen finds their clue, whispers that he has it, and The Chipsters leave. Team Who still searches.

Team Who? finally find the clue and leave. Kelly & Jon pull into the Thrifty Car Rental parking lot at the airport (Thrifty has Mercedes SUV's?) at about 6:55am. They go inside to Qantas Ticketing and get on the 7:45 flight to Cairns. The other teams show-up and they all get tickets for the same 7:45am flight. At the Cairns Airport (which looks like it had just rained) the teams jump into their SUV's and take off. They tailgate each other down the highway. Kelly & Jon, in the lead, use a woman in a silver car to help box-in the other teams from passing. Jon narrates that this is getting to Chip (who is driving and trying to get around him) and the says the title of the show in reference to Chip. They find Wild World and park by the marker. There are 3 numbered tags on the Route Marker box (obviously to claim who does a task first, second, third). The clue is this year's product placement task: Teams must now follow the marked path to the crocodile pen. One team member will chose a feeding stick and feed a fish to the 15-foot crocodile named Sultan while the other teammate takes a picture with a Kodak Easyshare Digital Camera. Only one Team may perform this task at a time. Once Sultan has been fed and the picture had been taken, teams must find the souvenir shop, where they'll develop their picture at a Kodak printer dock and receive their next clue. (OK, we'll ignore the reference to "develop" a digital camera image. They're just printing them.) Kelly & Jon, the ones that pulled #1, leave with a curator. But now we see a table next to the Route Marker box that has 3 digital cameras on it. We see the other two teams. Then we see one camera on the table. David says to Jeff, as they're walking down the path "don't let them see this" and they hide the camera. Jeff realizes, as they walk behind Kelly & Jon that they don't have a camera! Team Mean get to the croc pen and we hear Kelly say "Where's the camera? Jon. Jon! Don't have the camera." They take the humbling walk back to the Route Marker. In an argument on the way Kelly asks Jon why he's blaming her. Oh, I don't know, maybe because she's taking the picture and she would need a camera for that. I don't know. Maybe it's just me. So, David feeds Sultan while Jeff takes the picture and they run to the souvenir shop. Chip feeds Sultan, Reichen takes the picture, and they're on their way to the souvenir shop. David & Jeff have docked their camera and are reading the instructions on how to print. Team Mean is back at the croc pen with the camera. Jon feeds Sultan, Kelly takes the picture and they leave. (I don't understand why the curator throws something like a small rock at the croc first - probably to get his attention.) Reichen at the souvenir stand docks his camera in the printing station. Jon gets there and docks his camera. Reichen looks puzzled, and he re-docks the camera. Team Who? gets their picture printed. The back of the paper says Make your way to Wangetti Beach for your next clue. Phil explains it anyway: Teams must now drive themselves 15 miles to secluded Wangetti Beach where they'll find their next Route Marker. Thanks, Phil. David & Jeff leave, followed by Kelly & Jon. Reichen finally figures out how to print an image and The Chipsters leave. (Here's a map for you - the zoo was in Palm Cove and they have to go to Wangetti Beach). Team Who? hits the beach, get the clue and find that it's a Detour - "Saddle" or "Paddle". Phil, over to you: In "Saddle", teams must explore this one-and-a-half mile stretch of beach on horseback and find one of four Race flags. They'll then search within a 25-yard radius for a cluster of clue envelopes. However, only one of the clusters contains the actual clue; the other three instruct teams to try again. The task won't be physically demanding, but searching the beach for the right cluster could take a long time. In "Paddle" teams have to inflate their own kayak and then paddle to an orange buoy to get their next clue. The task requires a good deal of energy, but the clue will be easy to find. Team Who? choses "Saddle". Kelly thinks they just past the turn-off for the beach. Guess what? The Chipsters pull into the beach parking area, get the clue and chose "Saddle". Jon pulls up to a road construction flagman and find out they've gone too far and have to turn around. Surprised? I didn't think so.

David & Jeff go to the right (south?) and Chip and Reichen go to the left (north?) down the beach. The Chipsters find a cluster, but it's not the real ones. The go further down the beach to another marker. It's another "Sorry. Try Again.". Team Who? finds a flag, find the cluster of clues, and actually find the correct cluster! Teams must now drive themselves 35 miles to the town of Julatten and look for Off Road Rush, an adventure sports company where they'll find their next Route Marker. Kelly & Jon pull into the beach parking area. They also choose "Saddle". They also notice that The Chipsters are coming from left, passing them, and going to the right. Team Mean actually see this and deduce that the clue has to be to the right since The Chipsters must not have found it to the left. Team Who? and The Chipsters pass each other on the beach. It seams that Team Who? isn't the greatest riding horses, but they're te first ones that leave the beach. The Chipsters get their clue and leave. Well, they try to leave, but Chip drives the SUV over Reichen's foot while they're still in the parking area (Chip started the car while in gear and without having the clutch engaged. Nice going. Drive a manual much?) We then see the first name-calling argument between the boys. Twelve legs of the race and this is their first argument. Team Mean can't get through 12 minutes. Speaking of them, Team Mean gets their clue and leaves. The Chipsters don't know where they're going, so Chip goes up to someone's house to ask for directions. Kelly & Jon try to do the same other other drivers. Team Who? finds the little sign for Off Road Rush and make the turnoff. At the Route Marker, they find that it's a Roadblock. In this Roadblock, one team member has to choose a race buggy and, along with a racing instructor, drive as fast as they can along a muddy and bumpy 7-mile course. As soon as they make it back to their partner, they'll be given their next clue. David gets suited-up and drives off. He did a really good job at a good rate of speed. Jon is still looking for directions to Julatten. The Chipsters find the turn-off. Chip decides to do the Roadblock. David hits the finish line in great shape, and gets the next clue from his instructor before he leaves the vehicle. Teams must now drive 50 miles to Ellis Beach. This picturesque beach at the edge of the Coral Sea is the Pit Stop for this leg of the race. They drive off, but David has to readjust to driving the SUV instead of the buggy! Chip suits-up, gets in his buggy and takes off. It's like he doesn't know how to drive - he's all over the track. He barely keeps it on the marked dirt. He plows into a line of small trees along the right-side of a stretch of track and totally busts-up the steering. Team Who? is still driving back to the highway. The company sends a new buggy out to Chip so that he can complete the task, which he somehow does. Team Mean passes The Chipsters on the way in to Off Road Rush. Team Mean pulls the Roadblock clue at the Route Marker.Even tough Kelly really really really really really wants to do it (after all, it's her turn), Jon does it. The last thing Kelly says is "Be careful, Jon" as he spits out of the starting area. Yes, spits. He popped the clutch and stalled the buggy. More than once. He finally leaves. and he's a maniac. He's more like David than Chip, tough - it looks like he's in control at least. Jon screams into a tight left-hand turn and... the buggy rolls over!!! Kelly is screaming "Oh my God!!! Oh my God!!!" in a pitch that only dogs could hear. Crew people start running with walkie talkies into the dust cloud. There's a quick shot of a helmeted Jon trapped in the vehicle and then... commercial.

When we're back, we have an overhead shot from the helicopter camera and you can see how many people are running to to the crash site. People help Jon crawl out of the buggy and he's laughing his ass off! He's unscathed. Kelly is screaming "Jon! Why did you do that!" and she runs over and hits him! "What's wrong with you!" The crew rights the buggy and Jon climbs right back in. Of course, we don't see the instructor do that right away. He's probably trying to figure out if he wants to do this again. As they scream off, Kelly yells "Babe! Please be careful! I need you to win the million bucks!" Team Who? pulls into Ellis Beach and the run across the sand to The Amazing Bathmat. Phil proclaims that they're "Team Number 1" and they win a vacation to Europe compliments of American Airlines' website "which you can enjoy after the race". Phis now does post arrival interviews for the teams. We see Jon finish his task. He's still laughing and giggling like a schoolgirl. Kelly takes the clue and reads it. Kelly narrates that Jon is doing all of the things he wanted to do before he got married and "all this race did was help me out!" Chip asks Reichen "Am I that bad of a driver?" to which Reichen replies "I'm not answering." The Chipsters pull into te parking area and "look for Phil". More interviews. Kelly and Jon pull in and jog up the sand to Phil who tells them that they're the last team and this is not an elimination leg (big surprise). Kelly then tells Phil: "We came to one very sad conclusion today, that we cannot have children because we do not want them to inherit our stupidity." Another big surprise.

Next week: so here we are - the final leg (of what may be the FINAL BROADCAST OF THE AMAZING RACE if CBS doesn't get it's act together!!!)

Oh, well, it's the beginning of a sad episode for certain fans...

Teams are still at the Pit Stop at Gyeongbokgung Palace. Kelly & Jon depart at 3:46am. Teams must now make their way across Seoul to Hangang People's Park on Yeouido Island were locals go to fly traditional Korean kites. Once there, they must pull on the string that is attached to a marked pedestal. This will release the clue that's attached to the kites flying overhead. Jon & Kelly try to find a cab driver that speaks English. Reichen & Chip depart the Pit Stop at 3:55am. They, too, try to find and English-speaking driver. Kelly decides they should go to a hotel for help. The Chipsters settle for a cab driver they think knows were Yeouido Island is. Jon & Al leave the Pit Stop at 4:04am. They get a cab driver right away that speaks "perfect English". Kelly & Jon go to the Koreana Hotel and ask for directions at Registration. They get directions on a map and go outside to the doorman, who's standing next to 2 Korean drunks that are mock-fighting each other, and get a cab. Jon & Al see the kites illuminated in the night sky. Chip & Reichen see the kites as well, and Chip is flipping out, trying to get his driver to turn and get over to the beach that the kites are flying from. He's slamming his hand against the window and yelling "Hurry!!! I'm not going to pay you!!!" Jon & Al run onto the beach and start to tug on the line. The Chipsters arrive as Chip exasperatedly say "Just let me out! You speak no English - I shouldn't give you any money! Speak English!" What the hell??? You are in Korea, you idiot! Nice reinforcement of the ugly American stereotype! Jon & Al's clue floats to the ground in the night. Teams must now travel nearly 7,000 miles to Brisbane, Australia. When they land, they'll have to make their way to the Brisbane Holiday Inn, check-in with the concierge and be escorted to a penthouse suite. The Chipsters are on the beach and pull down their clue. Kelly and Jon see the kites from their cab. The Chipsters read their clue. The Clowns get a cab. The Chipsters get a cab and Chip tells the driver "Go-go-go-go-go!!!" before they even get inside, and "Quick-quick-quick-quick-quick!!!" as the sit down. Kelly & Jon hit the island. John starts pulling on a rope. In the background, you can hear someone say "ooooh no..." and that's when you realize Jon is pulling down the kites! What's worse? The string breaks!!!!! Kelly says "That sucks." Jon laughs as you can see the other kites rise further in the air. David & Jeff leave the Pit Stop at 5:15am. Jon realizes he was pulling on the wrong string and finds the marked one and they get their clue and leave. Jon & Al arrive at the airport. Team Who? arrives and pulls down their clue. Jeff hand David the Fast Forward as they read the clue and leave. Back in Kelly * Jon's taxi, you realize that some really bad fog has rolled in and you can barely see the road in front of you. Back at the airport, Jon is making phone calls to a 24-hour travelers network to get the best flight to Brisbane, which is a Korean Airlines flight to Singapore and then on to Brisbane. The Chipsters hit the airport and realize there are two flights - the Korean Air and a Singapore Air flight. Chip goes up to Korean Air ticket counter and requests booking on the flights. The counter books fro both Korean and Singapore Airlines and they find out the Singapore Airlines flight gets in earlier. Kelly & Jon show up as The Chipsters are at the counter. Jon comes up and tells the agent "Could I have exactly what they have?" Kelly laughs an evil laugh. Jon says he wants their ticket pointing to The Chipsters. Jon then says to Reichen to title of the show. The teams wonder where The Clowns are. In the meantime, The Clowns are at the Korean Air terminal, watching it getting brighter outside in the dense fog, wondering where the other teams are. Team Who? arrives and gets the Singapore flight. Lots of shots of the fog outside and teams worried about the fog. The fog starts to lift, and the Singapore flight starts to board. Jon calls Al over to the window to show that what he thinks is their plane is in a holding box on the tarmac, behind the plane that is currently at the gate. They have only 2 hours to make the connecting flight and they find out from a pilot of their flight that the departure is delayed by at least two hours. The Singapore Air flight leaves at 2pm and it's already boarding (as we know). We see the other teams sit down in their seats on the plane. The clowns negotiate tickets and get to the gate, but find out that because they are late - they are being denied access to the plane for security reasons. The door closes, the plane pushes back and The Clowns are left in Korea.

The Clowns are now really stressed. They negotiate a flight that is a direct flight to Brisbane. The Clowns start, well, clowning to lighten the mood. (Now, based on other detective work from other websites, this direct flight actually gets The Clowns to Brisbane one 30 minutes behind the rest of the teams.) The teams are shown queuing-up to leave their plane in Brisbane and are talking about not knowing where The Clowns are. The door opens and there's a mad sprint outside - except for Kelly because Jon is still on the plane somewhere. Team Who? grabs a van and they're off to the Fast Forward. In this Fast Forward, teams must drive an hour away to a beach (in Caloundra City) and pass a local lifeguard test. After paddling surfboards through the heavy surf, they must pull a swimmer out of the water and return her safely to the beach before they can claim the Fast Forward award. Reichen & Chip get a taxi at the airport (at least they shouldn't have a language problem here...) Jon finally meets up with Kelly, who finds out that taking a train is faster than a taxi to get into the city. The hotel happens to be at the transit center. Jon gloats over the traffic that their train is passing over. The Chipsters hit the hotel first, followed by Kelly & Jon. The elevator opens on the 17th floor, and a quick walk through the Penthouse Suite door puts then - out on a patio outside, overlooking the city. The Route Marker is here. The clue is a Detour - "Face First" or "Foot First". "In "face First", teams put on safety gear, step out onto the ledge of the building, and do an Australian, or Face First, rappel right off the ledge of the building 200 feet down, one team member at a time. It's a terrifying task, but if they muster the guts, they can finish it fast. In "Foot First" teams must spot the building with the race flag on top. (it's the Sheraton Brisbane) Then, they must travel on foot down the stairs, walk all the way to the building and climb up 30 stories to the roof where the Route Marker is waiting. There's nothing scary about the task, but traveling all the way on foot could tire them out and take a really long time. The Chipsters and Kelly & Jon decide "Face First". Kelly worries about her hand, which is still a mess since the board breaking last week.(she can't make a fist). The Clowns arrive in Brisbane. Team Who is still on their way to the beach. Chip & Jon go over the side and rappel down. Kelly gets nervous. Team Who? hits the beach, grabs two lifeguard long-boards and paddle into the surf with 2-4 foot waves out about 150 feet to the victim. They absolutely struggle trying to get the female victim on the board. On the roof, a worker comes up to Kelly, says "Welcome to Australia" and shakes her hand which now becomes more painful. Reichen & Kelly go over the edge. Reichen just walks down the side of the building. Kelly thinks she's not heavy enough to do this. Kelly comes to a planter at the side of the building, gets stuck, and freaks out and just about loses it.

Reichen gets down, Kelly is spinning. She's afraid. She's eventually down. In tears, she says "I didn't like that!". Teams must now chose one of these cars (more Mercedes SUV's. Sponsor?) drive themselves 43 miles to the town of Mooloolaba and find UnderWater World. Once they arrive, they'll follow the marked path to their next Route Marker. The Chipsters leave, but Reichen can't find the town on a map. Back at the beach, Team Who is still struggling to get the victim onto a surfboard. They seem to be continually dumping her off the side or rolling the board over. They finally get the "solid girl" onto the board and paddle in. They win the Fast Forward and must now drive themselves to the Pit Stop - the Mooloolaba Yacht Club, "a legendary haven for Australia's famed yachtsmen". The Clowns arrive at the hotel. Jon goes over the edge first and makes it - Al looks a bit worried. Turns out, The Chipsters didn't get a map and are trying to find UnderWater World by themselves. The next shot is Kelly reading a map as they approach the exit on the freeway for UnderWater World. Al is struggling to come to grips with going over the edge, but he finally does it and makes it. The Chipsters catch up and both teams find parking spaces at the same time and run into the facility. The Route Marker is a Roadblock - "Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water". In this Roadblock one team member has to put on scuba gear and cross a tank and grab a clue in a treasure chest. While this task might seem easy, consider this: the tank is home to rogue's gallery of sea creatures including 100 sharks. Man, these sharks are huge! Then again, this is Australia. Reichen & Jon decide to go. One piece of information is overheard as they get their instructions from a handler off-camera: And you're not allowed to stand on the sharks underwater. Otherwise, they'll bite you. Great. Another one: Put your arms together. You must stay like that because you can't trust the animals' behavior. Whoo boy. Jon is first in. OK, they're not swimming. They're weighted-down, so the walk across the bottom, holding their hands clasped together to their chests. Reichen, still above water, says "I asked him if the sharks bite and he said "let's just go'". Jon gets buzzed by a stingray and gets to the treasure chest and grabs the clue. Kelly, outside the tank, has been watching and trying to wave to him. Reichen is moving slower than Jon, and the cross paths just a a huge shark swims by. Reichen is more tentative and definitely more scared than Jon. Reichen slips a little, and instinctively throws his arms out to tread water to stabilize himself - just as another huge shark is swimming up!!!! Could this be it???? The first shark mauling on network television????? His arms are flailing as the shark comes up behind him - Kelly & Chip are yelling at him to put his arms back! And then... commercial!!! Damn.

Ok, so Reichen rights himself, clasps his hand together and the shark swims on by. Damn. Jon gets out of the tank. Reichen gets to the Treasure Chest and gets the clue. Jon & Kelly are together as Jon gets dressed. Kelly reads the clue. Teams must now race on foot to a nearby marina and find the Mooloolaba Yacht Club, the Pit Stop of this leg of the race. The last team to check-in here will be eliminated. Kelly emphasizes to Jon the words "on foot", and they start jogging. David & Jeff have found the yacht club, as they're parking their SUV in the parking lot. To run onto The Amazing Bathmat and are greeted by a blonde with a white sash, so she looks like a "Miss something". Phil proclaims Team Who? as Team Number One, and that they're one of the three teams racing for the $1 million prize. Oh, they also win a vacation to "exotic Mexico" compliments of American Airlines' website "which you can enjoy after the race". Reichen finally comes up out of the water and they're off. Kelly & Jon find someone who knows where the yacht club is (straight down the road they're on). Reichen & Chip leave the building, with Kelly and Jon already passed them. They start to run after them. Jon asks Kelly if there's any additional info. She says they have to go on foot. Notice how they're emphasizing something here. Chip insists that they should drive. Reaching the SUV Chip is just saying "c'mon - let's go - I've made a decision." Yep, they're going to violate the rules of the clue. Chip pulls out of the parking place. Jon & Kelly are running. Reichen says to Chip they may pass them on foot. Jon & Al reach UnderWater Room. Al will do the Roadblock. The next shot is of Al, hands clasped together, in the tank, waiting for a shark to cross right in front of him. Jon is trying to tell Al to "duck under him, just duck under!" Al nods back a definite "No". Kelly and Jon are now walking and Jon says "I can see the Pit Stop". They start to jog. The Chipsters pass Kelly & Jon as Kelly says "Chip & Reichen! They didn't walk! Jon they got here before us - they didn't walk!" Chip pulls the SUV into the parking lot. The two of them bail out and run around the place, up the stairs and onto the mat. Now, Phil has a few words for them: "Reichen & Chip - you're the second team to arrive. (they celebrate) However, (they stop and turn to Phil with that look of "Huh?) you chose to drive to the Pit Stop and the clue clearly states that you need to walk, (now the audio goes into a post production voice-over by Phil) so you've been assessed a penalty of 5 minutes for the time you've gained by driving the short distance, and an additional penalty of 30 minutes for the mistake. (back live). Your penalty is 35 minutes. You'll have to wait and see if the two remaining teams arrive here within 35 minutes.If they do, you'll be eliminated." YEAH!!! WOOO HOOO!!! The Chipsters are penalized. Come on Clowns! Kelly & Jon run in an Phil has news for them: "Kelly & Jon - You're the third team to arrive. However, (voice over again... I wonder how they handled it live way back when?) due to a penalty given to Reichen & Chip, you're Team Number 2." Al gets the clue out of the treasure chest. Al & Jon meet up again topside and read their clue. They run in, up the stairs, and walk onto the mat. here it is - the big news: "Jon & Al (Phil Keoghan patented long pause here) you're the last team to arrive.Now you do need to know that one of the other teams made a mistake and received a penalty (Jon & Al look at each other, and painfully giggle. Al wipes his eyes) However, the penalty was not enough to put them behind. So I'm sorry to tell you that you both have been eliminated from the race."

NNNOOOOOOOooooooooo!!!!!!! Not The Clowns!!!! Damn you Chipsters! Damn You All To Hell!!!!! These guys enjoyed the journey so much and played the game so hard, they deserve to be in the final three.

Next week: It's the final three - no more eliminations, it's the final run to the finish (OK, the start of the run to the finish since that's in two weeks) Kangaroos! Horses! Dune buggies flipping over!!! (Oh, and Chip runs over Reichen's foot with their car.)

Well, we're still in Borneo. The teams are at the Sepilok Nature Resort, and it's time to depart: Reichen & Chip at 10:26pm, Jon & Al at 12:56am, David & Jeff at 1:11am, and finally Jon & Kelly at 2:42. Teams must now drive themselves to the Puu Jih Shih Buddhist Temple, the largest Buddhist temple in Malaysian Borneo. Once there, they must search through thousands of tiny Buddha figurines for the one with their names on it. Hidden behind that Buddha is a key to a rattan bag, which holds their next clue. The teams get $400 for this leg of the race, so their must be some pricey things coming up. Chip & Reichen get to the temple first, find their Buddha, get their key and open their clue. Teams must now travel 4,000 miles to Seoul, South Korea. When they land, they'll have to find Namsam Park and make their way to the base of the Seoul Tower (Namsam Tower?), where they'll find their next Route Marker.Vans for the airport arrive every 30 minutes starting at 12:00 midnight, but each van can carry only one team. The Boys decide to chill and wait for the van and have time for a prayer in the temple. Then, they're off to the airport. Jon & Al do their thing at the temple, as well as David & Jeff, who exit the temple while The Clowns were still waiting for their van. Kelly & Jon do their thing. Next thing you know it's daytime and we're back at Kota Kinabalu Airport. All of the teams arrive and wind-up booking the same flights - Singapore, and on to Seoul. In Singapore, David & Jeff start making phone calls to airlines for an earlier connection, and find one through Hong Kong which gets them in at 4:55 - an hour earlier. They get on Stand-by. Or, they think they got on Stand-By. Jon & Al show-up and have the same idea. Quick shots of Chip & Reichen eating hamburgers and french fries at the airport. So, it turns out that David and Jeff bought a ticket but didn't "check into their system" whatever that meant. They're upset that they really don't have Stand By so they have a discussion and they can somehow get on the flight. So do Jon & Al. They leave at 7pm to Hong Kong. Meanwhile, the teams waiting for their flight to Seoul, start to wonder what happened to other teams. They depart on their flight at 10:35pm. Sure enough, it's about 5am and the Hong Kong flight arrives in Seoul. The teams have come most of the way around the globe, and it's here in Korea where they start hitting problems with language. No one seems to speak english. The two teams make it, somehow to Seoul Tower Teams must now travel over 50 miles to the rural Sundam Valley, only minutes away from the North Korean border. Once there, they must locate the Route Marker on the bank of the Han-Tan River. Team Who & The Clowns decide to share a van, since it's a bit pricey ($100 one way). The other teams land in Seoul at 5:40am, with Kelly & Jon taking the lead. Both teams pick up their clues and are on their way. Well, actually Chip & Reichen aren't on their way yet - their driver doesn't understand where they need to go (that language barrier again).

Chip & Reichen decide to get a taxi driver to take them to the Grand Hyatt Seoul and then tried to get the workers there (bellmen, concierges) to get them an English-speaking taxi driver - which they sort of get. Meanwhile the two lead teams are now at a gas station trying to get directions. Chip & Reichen's taxi driver now has his hazard flashers on, which somehow means he has an emergency and can actually run red lights. (?) Team Who & The Clowns all of a sudden realize that they are no longer in the valley, they see army tanks, and they're crossing a bridge they were told at the gas station NOT to cross. They are on their way to the DMZ!!!!!! They get their driver to turn around... and are somehow passed by Kelly & Jon!!! Chip & Reichen arrive at Rafting Korea - the first team to arrive - and they're shocked - SHOCKED! Kelly & Jon arrive 2nd. David & Job take the #3 claim ticket, while Jon & Al take #4. They open their clues to find a Roadblock "Which of you has the colder personality?" One Team member must plunge into the frigid water, fight the current, and swim underneath the frozen river to the exit hole. Once their body temperature rises to a safe level, a doctor will clear them to leave and they'll receive their next clue. There's a great little piece here... the clue says that the person has to "strip to their skivvies" to swim. As Chip and Reichen walk toward the river, you can hear Reichen ask "What are skivvies?" The Korean crew now cuts large square holes in the ice with chainsaws. The ice is about 12-18" thick. Damn, this has gotta be cold. The medical staff asks question of Chip as he gets ready. Things like "Have you had a heart attack before? Hearing problems?" And they lead chip out onto the ice - barefoot, of course. Chip just goes right in and swims under the ice. Kelly is astonished and excited to see this. The distance doesn't look too far. This just looks like hell. Chip warms up enough and they get the next clue. Teams must now travel back to Seoul and find Subway Station 228 - one stop among hundreds in the city's maze of subway lines. Somewhere in the crowded station, they'll find their next Route Marker. Chip & Reichen take off in their taxi. Time for Jon and his turn. Kelly runs along the ice with him and helps in the tent. They leave. Jeff is next and his body takes time to warm up. Al is the last guy. I just noticed that they get their clue in a Ziploc bag at the ladder that comes out of the ice. David & Jeff decide to leave, saying that they really need to split-up from The Clowns (saying that sharing the cab was a huge mistake). Now, wait a minute. Jon and Al are getting ready to leave. If David & Jeff left... there's no cab!

Turns out, Team Who? (aka "The Goats") moved the cab, and they decide that they will find another cab, and then they'll split up. Chip & Reichen tell their cab driver that they need to go to Subway Station 228 and somehow the cab driver knows that it's the stop for Seoul University! He obviously knows where he's going. The two Sharing Teams arrive at an intersection that looks IDENTICAL to when they caught up to Kelly & Jon. I need to look at this again on my TiVo... DAMN!!! It's the same scene!!! Not exactly the same scene, this one is actually a piece they cut out between two scenes of the trip there!!! Damn you Jerry Bruckheimmer!!! Anyway, Team Who? gets out of the shared van into a cab. The Clowns take off. The Chipsters run into really bad traffic. They all run into bad traffic. Everyone has the idea just to get to the nearest subway station and they all travel by subway to 228. Kelly & Jon have a little argument about having to get across the river to get to the subway station - as if Jon doesn't believe subways run under rivers. Team Who hits the subway and they're off. Off getting lost again, that is. They get out of the subway, and take a cab to the National University. In the meantime, Kelly & Jon arrive by taxi at Subway Station 228, just as The Chipsters get off the subway train inside Subway Station 228. The Chipsters scour the platform for the Route Marker, which we see through Kelly & Jon is upstairs. They get the clue first and we see that it's a Detour - "Strong Hands' or "Strong Stomach". In "Strong Hands" teams follow a map to a martial arts center. Then, using the ancient art of tae kwon do, each team member must break three sets of wooden planks. Breaking the planks may seem daunting, but if they master the skills they're shown by the instructor, they could finish quickly. In "Strong Stomach" teams follow a map to a restaurant, where team member will have to eat a Korean delicacy. What they'll find out when they get there is that the Korean delicacy is a live octopus. There's no skill required for this task, but teams will finish only as fast as their stomachs allowed. Kelly decides they should "break a board". (I'm ignoring the fact that Jon said that if they went to the restaurant they'd probably be eating "butt lickers".) The Chipsters decide to go to the restaurant. They enter, sit, down, hear chopping in the back room and notice the bowl of live octopus sitting in the middle of the table. Kelly & Jon enter the martial arts center. David & Jeff are having problems with their cab driver, who seems to be doing tai chi in the front seat. Back at the restaurant, the Chipsters get their plates of octopus. The plate is in constant motion - yes, even though it's chopped up, everything still works and still moves!!! Reichen talks about how he tried to chew and swallow it, but its tentacles attached themselves to his teeth!!!! He yanks it out of his mouth, flings it onto his plate and IT CRAWLS OFF!!!! HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!!! Chip starts retching. Jon goes through all three boards, while still fully dresses, including this stupid hat that he wears. Kelly steps up and her first punch doesn't do a thing. You can look into her eyes and see the tears well up. She's hurting. Back at the restaurant, Reichen looks sick and he's slowing down. Chip decides that the best way to handle this is to do this like oyster shooters "like at their wedding". Who has oyster shooters at their wedding? Anyway, they take small bits of octopus and slug it down with cold water. Back at the martial arts center, Kelly breaks a board. She needs to break 5, unfortunately. She goes again and gets through her first stack. She hits the second stack - and cracked the first board. That looked worse than before. She goes again and breaks the stack. A close-up of her hand shows that it's red and raw. The last stack is 7 boards. Jon, trying to motivate her, says the quote that's the title of the show, and miraculously, she drives her hand through the entire stack. They get their clue - "make your way to the next Pit Stop..." Teams must drive across town to Gyeongbokgung Palace, the largest royal residence in all of Seoul. The pavilion on the palace grounds is the Pit Stop for this leg of the race. Waiting for a taxi, you see that Kelly's hand is red, and she's bleeding at the first knuckle on her thumb and index finger. The Clowns arrive via subway at Subway Station 228 and get the clue- The choose "Strong Hands". Back at the restaurant, Reichen finally gets the last pieces of octopus down and they're off to the Pit Stop. David & Jeff arrive via taxi at Subway Station 228 and choose "Strong Stomach". They have no idea. Jon blasts through his first stack of boards, and it actually startles him a bit. He easily gets through the other two stacks. Team Who? arrives at the restaurant for some san-nak-gee They freaked a bit that it was still alive. Jeff says "The tentacles still work, bro." David says "One's, like, climbing off my plate." David: "They suction on your teeth while you're trying to chew 'em." Jeff: "That's a big plate of it, too." David: "Dude, there's like eyeballs and stuff. This is disgusting." Oh, yeah. Panic sets in. They bail and decide to do "Strong Hands". Al takes his first strike at his first stack and blows it. His second try nails it. He sails through the rest, they get the clue, and they're on their way to the Pit Stop. Team Who? makes it to the center, and Jeff goes through his three stacks of boards. David blows his first punch and nails the next three. They're off to the Pit Stop. Chip & Reichen don't like their passive taxi driver. Kelly is bitching at Jon as they get out of their taxi that this isn't it and it's back where they were, and they should have listened to their first instincts. They are running around the palace grounds. The Chipsters arrive and they're off to find The Amazing Bathmat. There comes Jon followed by Kelly on to the mat as Phil tells them "You're Team Number 1". They also win a "vacation to the sunny Caribbean" compliments of American Airline's website "which you can enjoy after the race." The Chipsters find Phil and they're "Team Number 2". It's an edited cab race now. Here come The Clowns as "Team Number 3", as Team Who? walks onto the mat. Phil says: "David & Jeff - you're the last team to arrive. I'm... happy to tell you, however, this is the second of three predetermined non-elimination legs, and you're both still in the race." What, another one????

Next week: Kelly repels face first down a building and Reichen may sleep with the fishes... actually he may be eaten by sharks!

The teams leave from Manukan Island in Malaysia. At 2:05am, Jon & Al and Chip & Reichen depart by taking one of those boast they used on the last show to go back to the Boat Jetty in Kota Kinabalu, then grab a taxi to go to Poring Hot Springs 78 miles away and follow the flags to the next route marker by walking a series of rope bridges over 100 feet above the ground.(Oh, and they have $130 for this leg of the race). Millie & Chuck depart at 2:19am. The cab rides are a tad bit treacherous, as cattle have a tendency to sleep in the middle of the roads at night.David & Jeff depart at 2:50am, and Kelly & Jon depart at 3:36am.

Chip & Reichen are the first to arrive at Poring Hot Spring at 5:02am, but the place doesn't open until 6:30am. Jon & Al show up. Millie & Chuck show up. Kelly & Jon... aren't there yet. (There's a shot of Millie, yawning like a rooster, when you can hear the sound of a rooster crowing in the background. Weird.) The gates open at 6:30am and the teams rush in, with Millie & chuck stripping their backpacks and running toward the rope bridges, Chip & Reichen were right behind, followed by The Clowns. THe Road Marker tells then to chose a marked car (another SUV) and drive 145 miles to the Trushidup Palm Oil Plantation. Everyone starts to leave the rope bridges as Kelly & Jon arrive (but wait as Jon has to, um, relieve himself in the bushes before they go in! The groups pass Kelly & Jon on the way out, so they try to backtrack where the people were coming from, but without a lot of luck and get lost. The teams have a lot of problems with fogged-up windshields in the early morning sun. (In fact, the cameraman with David & Jeff had his lens all fogged-up as well). Chip turned on the defroster as soon as they got into the SUV so they were able to pull around the pack that had pulled over trying to clear their windshields. In the meantime, Kelly & Jon are still trying to find flags to follow at the Hot Springs. Millie & Chuck haven't slept well in days, and both of them are falling asleep while driving! Kelly & Jon still can't find flags. Jon runs ahead and yells back to Kelly who's off camera in the jungle "Let's, go Kelly, this is it I can see it." "Shut up!" you can here her yell back. "I see it!" "You do not!" she yells again from the underbrush. Then Jon stops and says slowly "Kelly? Move your ass. Now." Kelly comes running up and they run the rope bridge, get the clue and Kelly tells Jon to "Just open the Fast Forward, don't even bother opening the other thing." We sort of have to wait for Phil to tell us what the Fast Forward says because Jon mangles the words so badly you don't have a clue. Phil starts to tell us what's going on with the Fast Forward when you notice that he's in the middle of the jungle... and there are orangutans on a platform behind him in the distance. To use the Fast Forward, the teams have to drive over 140 miles to the town of Sepilok and find the world famous Sepilok Orangutan Rehabilitation Center, home to last last wild orangutans in northern Borneo. Then they will have to hike deep into the forest to a feeding station, a each has to feed two pieces of fruit to the orangutans to claim the Fast Forward. (hey, you know what? This place looks familiar... I think Julia Roberts was here doing a documentary for PBS a few years ago...) As Kelly runs to the SUV, she says "if somebody claims this, we're screwed. This is it. It's do or die now." Meanwhile, Chip & Reichen realize that they just may have been on the wrong road, and realize that, by accident, they're heading to the Fast Forward, and decide to do it.

In the meantime, Jon & Al have reached the plantation and have found a Detour - "Chop" or "Haul". In "Chop", teams must must use local tools to chop down palm nut bunches with clue envelopes attached. However, for every one envelope with a clue, there are three that are empty. In "Haul", teams must use a wheelbarrow to carry 25 palm nut bunches to a corresponding truck. The nut bunches are sharp and cumbersome, so getting it done could take some time. When their truck is fully loaded, it will drive away revealing their clue. Jon & Al choose "Haul". This looks like hell. The bunches were heavy and had sharp points. Trying to heave these nut bunches into the back of the dump trucks was hard and almost looked dangerous when they would roll back out and fall to the ground.

Millie & Chuck are driving around trying to find the plantation. They stop at any plantation they see, looking for directions. She can't read maps well (and she isn't driving) so they're just not sure where they're going, even after they get directions. David & Jeff pull into the plantation, and didn't see a route marker box. Well, there's a good reason for that as Jon & Al found out - the clues are in a wheelbarrow in the middle of the road. David & Jeff drove right on by and had to turn around. They stop by THe Clowns and ask "Hey, Dudes, where's the clue?" Al points straight ahead and says "Right up there, off to the right". The drive right buy - again They yell out "Al! Where?" Where?" "On the wheelbarrow" which is now behind them. "The first wheelbarrow?" "The green one!" I think they finally saw it behind the SUV. They get out "Oh, this one!" and mention that Jon & Al were really cool in helping them. They also choose "Haul". Jon & Al get their 25 bunches loaded and get a clue - using their map they have to drive 35 miles to Gomantong Caves for the next Route Marker.Kelly & Jon are still driving to the Fast Forward. Chip & Reichen arrive at the Sanctuary and hike 20 minutes into the forest.

Millie & Chuck arrive at the plantation. Millie wants to do "Haul", and they start to do it. After getting one bunch loaded in the dump truck, Chuck doesn't think they could do this. And go to see what "Chop" is all about. After a quick try at chopping palm branches (a very quick try), Chuck decides they should do "Haul".

Chip & Reichen arrive at the orangutan feeding station, and were able to feed the orangutans. They get their Fast Forward pass and now have to go to the Sepilok Nature Resort. Hmmm... that sounds like it's right there. Millie & Chuck ar trying to work together. Millie wants to help by tossing nut bunches to Chuck, but they're pretty damn sharp and spiny, so Chuck doesn't want her doing that.Millie wants to do everything fast. Chuck heaves a nut bunch onto the dump truck which rolls off and almost kills their cameraman. They finally get their 25 bunches loaded and get their clue and leave.

Kelly and Jon arrive at Sepilok as Kelly is trying to teach Jon how to pronounce "orangutan". They pull up, go to the baskets of fruit... and find a red tag that says "SORRY Fast Forward Taken - Pick Up the Race where you left off". Whoo boy. They climb back into the SUV and drive off as Kelly says "You're always right, I'm always wrong. We're done. *sigh*" To which, Jon, who's had enough of this, lashes back with "Kelly, go f*** yourself!" Kelly is all "What did you just say to me? What did you just say to me? I'll tell you what, Jon, you're walking a thin line. This was a chance that we decided to take, but YOU will not talk to me like that." She throws the map and gets out of the car. Wait - where are they that she could just walk off on him??? After a commercial break, she's back in the car and they're driving through the Malaysian jungle. They're still fighting, though. Jon is the person that says the title of the show.

Somehow, Millie & Chuck go down the road in the opposite direction of the sign for the Gomantong Caves. Since the only see the backside of the sign, they continue down the road in the wrong direction. Jon & Al pull into the cave parking lot and run inside. They get to the Route Marker and find a Roadblock - "It's time for the ladder part of the race." In this Roadblock, [that] person has to climb one of [these] two traditional rattan ladders to a point where they will be dangling 50 feet above the stone floor of the cave. Locals do this to collect birds' nests to make Birds Nest Soup. The teams will be doing it to get [this] basket and retrieve a clue from inside. Al says Jon will do it. Jon goes up the ladder, but the rungs ar far apart and he says in a voice-over that there's so many birds in the cave, that the rungs are slippery from the bird poop. Great.
David & Jeff arrive at the road to the caves, making sure there wasn't a Route Marker box that they missed. Jon gets the clue and gets down the ladder. The clue says to drive to the Pit Stop, the Sepilok Nature Resort. Phil shows the place, and there's even the obligatory zoom-in to The Amazing Bathmat. Jon & Al pass David & Jeff ("The Goats") on their way in. Chip & Reichen find their way to the Pit Stop. Phil tells them they're "Team Number 1" and they've won a vacation to "festive Latin America" (and where exactly is that?) from American Airline's website that they can enjoy after the race. David & Jeff hit the Roadblock, with David doing the climbing.

Millie & Chuck cross a bridge over a river and Chuck asks Millie if she sees water on the map, and they have to stop and try to get more directions. Kelly & Jon make it to the plantation. Kelly wants to do "Haul" and forces Jon to do it. David gets out onto the ladder and get their next clue. Kelly & Jon have a discussion about putting the nut bunches "in the appropriate truck". Their wheelbarrow says "5" and Kelly says that the truck says "C". Well, yes, it says "C" all right - right next to the hand printed "5". They look for another truck. They leave the wheelbarrow and go cut some palm branches. The first nut bunch they drop has a "Try Again" inside the clue envelope. Millie & Chuck are still lost, still asking locals for help. Jon drops the second nut bunch and they get a real clue. They start driving to the caves. Millie and Chuck ar now driving in the correct direction and see the sign that they passed hours ago. Chuck even asks "Isn't this where we came out?" They realize just how much time they've killed by going the wrong way. All of a sudden, Millie & Chuck and Kelly & Jon arrive at the caves at the same time and the adrenaline kicked-in. Everyone ran to the Roadblock. Jon & Chuck head up the ladders at the same time. In the meantime, Jon and Al arrive at the Pit Stop as "Team Number 2". Jon gets down the ladder first and the two teams run their asses off to their SUV's. Kelly & Jon are pumped.

Millie & Chuck don't know where they're going. They follow Kelly and Jon. Millie is almost crying as she pleads with Chuck to read the map because she can't do it. David & Jeff arrive as "Team Number 3" at the Pit Stop. Kelly & Jon try to shake Millie & Chuck by passing other traffic, and Chuck has trouble shifting. Millie gets her inhaler out and they get ready for a final sprint. THey hit the resort and there's a sprint.

The music swells, and here comes Kelly & Jon as "Team Number 4".

The mind starts reeling... At the beginning of the show, you realize Phil did it again - "Who will be eliminated... next." Every time some one reads the clue to get themselves to the Pit Stop, not one of them says "last team checking in will be eliminated". Phil doesn't say that that the last team arriving at the pit stop will be eliminated.

But then you realize that Phil has been saying the teams are "Team Number 1" and not "you're the first to arrive" like last week. Huh? What? Wait! And then Millie and Chuck arrive last and Phil tells them that they've been eliminated from the race!!!!

Next week: Swimming under ice in Korea, Reichen eats live baby octopus and Jon & Al take a wrong turn and pass a line of tanks on the way to the North Korean border!!!! AAAAUUUUURRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

There it was in the open... Phil's words: "Who will be eliminated... next." Ah HA! Is there an elimination tonight? If there was, Phil's words are usually: "Who will be eliminated... tonight."

The teams are still in Alleppey enjoying their pit stop when... WBBM butts-in to tell us about Tornado Warnings and Severe Thunderstorm Warnings! I have no idea what's happening in the show, since the local weatherman is trying to tell us to duck and cover. This also means that my DirecTV reception is going to degrade during the show and who knows what I'll miss.

The show comes back and the teams are sitting around yakking about themselves. Jon (of Kelly & Jon) thinks it's great that he's sitting next to 29-year-old virgins! Sounds like there was talking about Chip & Reichen's relationship.

Team Who? (David & Jeff) depart at 4:02am with $120 to fly over 5,000 miles to Kota Kinabalu in Malaysia and make their way to the Monsopiad Cultural Village for their next clue. Teams Clowns (Jon & Al) depart at 4:06am, in the middle of a thunderstorm. Kelly & Jon depart at 4:16am, Millie & Chick depart at 4:16am (the same minute?) and Reichen & Chip depart at 4:17am.David and Jeff hit the International Terminal at the airport (Cochin Airport?) and talk to a local who tells them to take Jet Airways back to Mumbai and surely you can get a flight to Malaysia from there, so they go to the domestic terminal. When Kelly & Jon get to the International Terminal, Kelly says: "Look - there's the goats!" (referring to David & Jeff) and follow them. David & Jeff at the Domestic Terminal find out that ticketing (which is a window outside of the terminal) opens at 6:30. Team Clowns show up at the domestic terminal. Chip & Reichen go to a back office of Air India to book their flights. Millie & Chuck arrive and hang outside of the office and try to eavesdrop on the booking arrangements being made inside. Millie gets pushed-out of the office by Reichen who's trying to shove the door shut.

Back at domestics, there's a short argument with locals trying to butt-in in line. Chip & Reichen have to go to the domestic terminal to book their arrangements. Millie & Chuck follow. The three teams at the Domestic terminal are all on the 8:30am flight to Mumbai. Millie & Chuck duck into the Domestic Terminal, see Team Clowns, and yell to Al "What flight are you taking?" and Al actually tells them.

Chip is at that Domestic ticket window asking if they can book a flight from Madras to Kuala Lumpur on Malaysian Airlines, and find out they can't (they're not helpful if the flights aren't with Jet Airways or Air India). Chip asks for a Travel Agent. They meet, he'll call his office and have the tickets issued. His office is an hour away in Cochin. If this whole ting works, they could get in before all the other teams.

The 8:30 flight leaves. Chip and Reichen and the Travel Agent arrive at his office - which is closed. They're waiting for someone to show up. When they finally look at the 12:20 flight that they were counting on - it was fully booked.

Meanwhile, everybody arrives in Mumbai and split-up. Kelly & Jon book a flight to Singapore. Millie & Chuck wind up doing the same. Jon & Al go to Kuala Lumpur. David and Jeff go to Singapore.

Back in Cochin, Chip & Reichen book a flight from Cochin to Kuala Lumpur and then everyone is in the air.

Kelly & Jon hit singapore at about 12:30am and they had to wait for their flight at 10:05am. The slept a full 8 hours on the carpet. Millie and Chuck are also in Singapore but they think there has to be an earlier flight. Millie starts calling around and gets a better flight at 8:40am

David and Jeff arrive in Singapore in the morning. Millie & Chuck arrive in Kuala Lumpur and then they see Chip & Reichen. Jon & Al are there as well, and they're on the same flight. They arrive in Malaysia and make their way to the cultural center, where they will receive a traditional good luck blessing and their next clue. Though Jon & Al's taxi pulled up first, Millie & Chuck are the first out of their cab. Chip & Reichen's driver misses the turn and can't turn around because it's a one way road and has to go kilometers out of the way to get back.

An elderly princess comes out to bless Millie & Chuck and Millie is scared and is freaking out, obviously because this just doesn't go along with their Christian beliefs (like "they could be putting a voodoo chant on us"). They receive the clue to make their way to the Kota Kinabalu Boat Jetty, where they will have to take a marked boat out to a fishing trawler to find their next clue.

Team Clowns take in the ceremony and look at it as a time to pause and reflect on their surroundings and what's going on - a pretty damn healthy way to approach the game!

The other teams finally arrive in Malaysia.

Chip & Reichen enjoy the ceremony, like they were getting married all over again.

Millie and Chuck grab a boat and go out to the fishing trawler. David and Jeff get their blessing and clue. Jon & Al hit the boat terminal. Millie and Chuck get to the trawler and find that it's a Detour - "Net" and "Trap" In "Net", teams have to take their boat to [this] fishing platform and use a net to catch 15 fish out of [these] marked pens in order to receive their next clue. The task doesn't require strength, but catching fish with a pole net requires a lot skill. In "Trap", teams must take their boat to [this] group of lobster boats. Then, they'll have to pull one of these weighted lobster traps up to get the clue inside. There's not much skill involved in lugging the traps out of the water, but raising the traps will require a good deal of brute force.

Millie & Chuck chose "Trap". Jon & Al chose "Trap" Kelly & Jon get blessed.

Millie & Chuck arrive at... the fishing platform? Huh? The boat driver drove them to the wrong place. So, they decided to do "Net" instead. Jon & Al get to a lobster trawler and start pulling. Chip & Reichen decide to do "Trap". Millie and Chuck decide to go into the fishing pens to help get more fish! Great scene where Millie is trying to put a fish into her basket and the graphic on the screen says MILLIE & CHUCK 4 Fish Caught and then you see this fish just jump right out of their basket , Millie yells "Shoot!" and the graphic changes to MILLIE & CHUCK 3 Fish Caught! Jon & Al are still hauling up the trap and get the next clue - "Have your boat driver take you to Manukan Island..." to the next Route Marker.

Chip & Reichen show up at... the fishing platform? Huh? Yes, their boat driver got mixed-up as well. They get back in their boat to go to a lobster trawler, and start hauling up a lobster trap..

Millie is working with the basket now. It's full of fish and water. The fish are splashing around. The graphic says MILLIE & CHUCK 8 Fish Caught. She says "I'm going to drain this water, Chuck..." and to the cry of "Millie!" from chuck, the graphic on the screen changes to MILLIE & CHUCK 7 Fish Caught as she dumps a fish with the water.

Chip & Reichen get their clue.

The graphic now says MILLIE & CHUCK 10 Fish Caught as she's walking around with the basket. Chuck says "Don't drop 'em baby, PLEASE!" and the next thing you know, Millie has fallen into the pen with the basket!

After a commercial break, we see Millie and Chuck get their next clue after (somehow) getting their 15 fish.

Team Clowns get to Manukan Island to find a Roadblock: "Who's skills are the most on target?" The person has to hit three different targets using three traditional Malaysian weapons: a bow and arrow, a blowpipe and a spear. Once they've hit all three targets successfully, they and their partner could race down the beach and check in here - the Pit Stop for this leg of the race.

Whoa! There's the proof! They're "checking in" - there's no mention of the last team being eliminated!

Jon is hooting arrows unsuccessfully. Chip * Reichen arrive and Chip starts to shoot. Millie and Chuck arrive and Chuck starts to shoot. Jon hits and advances. Chip hits and advances. Jon uses the blowpipe and hits and advances. Chuck is still shooting.

David and Jeff hist the fishing Trawler and decide to do "Net". Kelly and Jon arrive and decide to do Trap. Are they nuts? They have no idea how heavy that thing is..

Jon is now throwing spears, Chip is starting the blowpipe and Chuck is still shooting arrows, as Millie says very quietly "Oh, come on Charles...".

David & Jeff arrive at the fishing platform, Kelly & Jon arrive on a lobster trawler. Jon starts to pull on the rope while Kelly tries to get her gloves on. David & Jeff start scooping up fish... the problem is the fish are the size of a dime. They didn't go to the Official Amazing Race Fishing Pens - these were the wrong fish.

(At this point, my DirecTV reception goes to hell in a handbasket for the rest of the show, and I only get bits and pieces of what's actually going on)

Chuck is still shooting arrows. Jon & Kelly are trying to haul-up the lobster trap. Chip hits his target and moves on. Both Jon & Chip are throwing Spears. Chuck finally sinks an arrow. Chip hits his target with a spear and he and Reichen walk off looking around looking for the Pit Stop, which was down the beach. Jon hits his target, grabs his pack, and he and All haul ass down the beach. Chip & Reichen see The Clowns running down the beach and are upset like they were cheating. Both teams hit The Amazing Bathmat at the same time, but Phil decides that Jon & Al were the real First Place finishers and they receive a Vacation to Mexico courtesy of American Airlines website, "which you can enjoy after the race.". Chip and Reichen are then actually Team #2. Chuck hits his blowpipe target and starts throwing spears. David and Jeff are still catching fish, but Jon & Kelly just can't hold onto the lobster trap. David and Jeff get their 15 fish. Jon eventually lets go of the lobster trap. It's just too heavy for Kelly to help out. They get their boat to go the fishing platform. Chuck is still throwing spears. We now have a close-up of a basket on the deck of the fishing platform that has a graphic that reads KELLY & JON 8 Fish Caught, You see the water just churning inside the basket and then a fish jumps out and, yes, the graphic changes: KELLY & JON 7 Fish Caught. Kelly is yelling "He jumped out! That's not fair!" and goes over to the basket and proceeds to what looks like sit on the basket when Jon says "I need you to help, Kel. I mean, farting on the fish... I mean is not helping too much!" David and Jeff hit Manukan Island. Chuck is still throwing spears. Kelly & Jon get their 15 fish and their clue. Chuck finally hits his target and they sprint down the beach and arrive as Team #3. Jeff starting shooting his arrows and hits. Jon is betting on this is not an elimination leg. Jeff hits his blowpipe target. Jeff starts throwing spears. Jon & Kelly arrive on the beach. Jeff barely hits the top of his target and they sprint down the beach and arrive as Team #4. Kelly starts to shoot arrows while Jon is behind her "Be the arrow!" She's pissed. She hits the target. She hits her blowpipe target. She hits her spear target.

They half-heartedly trot down the beach.

"Kelly and Jon, you're the last team to arrive... The good news is this is not an elimination. This is the first of three pre-determined non-elimination legs, and you're still in the race."

Next week: Does Jon actually tell Kelly to go screw herself?

The teams are still in Mumbai, India. Team Who? (David & Jeff) are the first to depart the Pit Stop at 12:51am. Teams must now travel 43 miles to the town of Panvel, find the train station, and ride 860 miles by train to a place called Ernakulam Junction. They have $70 for the leg. Team Who? arranged for a taxi the night before. Chip & Reichen go to a hotel's concierge to arrange their cab. Kelly and Jon talk to a local who says you can get to Panvel Station from Victoria Station. Millie & Chuck go to Panvel. Jon & Al also talk to a local about Panvel, and find out about Victoria. They opt for a hotel stay, since the ticket windows won't open until 4am. Tian & Jaree are in a cab going the wrong direction on a freeway! (hence, the title of this week's episode). Team Who? is out of their cab at a building... that used to be Panvel Station (they think it's someone's house!) and they have to go to the new Panvel Station.The get to the new place and opt for going to a hotel and wait. Tian & Jaree spend the night with Chip & Reichen on the floor of the train station. It's the next morning, and we see Kelly & Jon board the train from Victoria Terminal to Panvel Station at 6:38am. Team Clown (Jon & Al) catch the next train at 7:10am. You get the distinct feeling that these groups are falling behind since they're not even in Panvel. Kelly & Jon get to Panvel and meet-up with the others. Team Clowns arrive, followed by Team Who? (weren't they first to Panvel?). All of the teams are together, taking the same train, which apparently reeks. Jon & All decide they can't take the heat and smell after train is underway, so they opt to upgrade to a first class air-conditioned car. Everyone else then decided to upgrade - except Team Virgins (Millie & Chuck).

The train rolls-on for 26 hours. Kelly & Jon start talking about their mean-spirited nicknames for Millie ("Millie-Mole") and Chuck ("Werewolf") with Chip & Reichen. Jon thinks Millie's mole is growing during the course of the race due to stress.

The train pulls into Ernakulam and everyone tries to find a cab. Teams must travel along National Highway 47 and search among thousands of billboards for the route marker... David & Jeff get a cab driver who's name is Money??? Chip argues with drivers making sure that their gas tank is full. Team Who? finds the Route Marker first. Teams must now travel an additional 25 miles by taxi to the town of Alleppey and find [a] locally known sports field, where they'll get their next clue.

Lots of typical cab race jockeying. Millie & Chuck have to stop for gas. Chip & Reichen are the last team to find the billboard. Millie & Chuck's cab starts beeping and it's now overheating. Reichen & Chip's taxi has to stop for gas.

Team Who gets to this "field" which is actually underwater. The Route Marker is a Roadblock. In this Roadblock, that person has to take part in a sport invented over a hundred years ago by local farmers - Bull Racing. In this sport, they'll have to hang onto a team of bulls while they race at top speed along this mud track, approximately the length of a football field. If they can hang on until the end, they will get their next clue. But only one team may bull-race at a time, so if they fail to hang on, they'll have to go to the end of any line that may have formed and wait until they can try again.

OK, this sucks. this is mud (and probably bull feces and God knows what). David goes first and succeeds, but... he's wearing his clothes - his shirt pants and shoes. Ew.

Teams must now travel through the town of Alleppey to Beach Road (there's a beach here?) and find [this] Route Marker where they'll find their next clue.

Clown Al goes next and succeeds. (These people look like hell, and I don't know how the taxi drivers are letting these people in their cabs).

Tian is next and quickly fails (this is her sixth consecutive Roadblock for her Team). Jon goes next and succeeds. (At least he doesn't have his shoes on). Tian tries and fails again. Tian tries again and actually makes it. (Back in the cab, a bubbly Jaree tells Tian "You look sexy as shit, right now with all that mud on you, I swear to God. That's hot, dude. That totally hot.")

Chuck succeeds at the race. Reichen succeeds.

Team Who? gets to the Route Marker - a Detour. In this Detour, the choice is "Baskets" or Trunks". In "Baskets", teams must load 10 live chickens into the baskets on one of these traditional bicycle-powered wagons. Then, navigating for themselves, they must deliver the chickens to the farm circled on [this] map. Riding the bikes in the boiling hot sun could be exhausting, but teams can go as fast as their legs allow. In "trunks", teams must load two bales of traditional Indian fabric known as coir onto an elephant. Then, they must deliver the fabric to the coir shop circled on [this] map. Riding the elephant should not be tiring at all, but teams will only travel as fast as the elephant wants to go. Either either task, teams must deliver their cargo before they'll receive their next clue.

Everyone starts to take "Trunks" (not a surprise for Team Clowns). David: "Riding an elephant is painful. That spine of that elephant is very close to the skin, so you feel it right up the old... uh... you know... 'friendly family' there."

Tian & Jaree do trunks because Jaree wanted to do elephants if they went to India - it looked like Tian was thinking about "Baskets" but was definitely overridden. Then they start to leave without their two bundles of coirs. As they pull out, last place Chip & Reichen get to the Detour and choose "Baskets" instead, to try to make up time.

Best line of the show that should have been made the title:

Jon: "I'm in so much pain!:
Kelly: "You are??? I have a chain up my cookie!"
MP3

Team Who? gets to the market first. The Route Marker clue tells them to go to The Finishing Point, which usually is the finishing line for the town's boat races (I guess there is a lake).

David & Jeff are the first team to arrive, a seven-night cruise vacation to the Western Caribbean on Royal Caribbean's Voyager of the Seas. Phil also says to David "And you... really need a shower".

Team Clowns (John and Al) are the second team to arrive (Hey, Phil's wording this week is odd. They're not "Team Number Two", they're "The second team to arrive", almost like this could have been a non-elimination leg. At the top of the show, Phil said in the tease "Who will be eliminated ... next" instead of the usual "Who will be eliminated... tonight".)

It's now a Race for last between Tian & Jaree on the elephant and Reichen (pedaling) and Chip. Editing shows both of them getting the clue at the same time.

Kelly and Jon are the third team to arrive, Millie & Chuck are the fourth.

Reichen and Chip run down a path and are the fifth team to arrive.

A muddy, dirty, smelly Tian and sweaty Jaree hit the Amazing Bathmat last, and are eliminated from the race.

Next week: Millie drowns. Well, not really. At least I don't think so...

From Amsterdam to India, from cheese and eels to poverty, Bollywood, crowded trains, groping, washing, and carrying fish, you knew this wasn't going to be good. In the end, Team NFL, a.k.a. "The Supremes", Monica (or as Phil says, "Monicker") and Sheree are eliminated from the race.

More later.

Well, here I am on vacation in Orlando, enjoying a wonderful meal at Emeril's, and overall I think I'd rather be doing this than watching tonight's episode. Unfortunately, my hometown boys - Air Traffic Controllers Steve and Dave are eliminated from the race.

OK, I'm way behind here and I'm running out of time... response time on my server is WAY TOO LONG to try and blog anything... I'll have to get to my synopsis some other day (I don't really know when)... needless to say Steve & Josh have been eliminated from the race...

Well, here we go again, another episode where the teams don't finish in the order that you think...

We're still in Venice as Team ATC (Steve & Dave) leaves the Pit Stop at 2:45am to take a train 300 miles to Vienna, Austria with $480 for the leg. After talking to a local at the train station, they decide to get out of Venice now and go to Padua and get a train from there. Team Rainbow (Reichen & Chip... I want to call these guys something different... maybe Team Arrogant... yeah, that's it...) leave the Pit Stop at 5:20am.

Now, to show you how everyone bunched up at the Masquerade Party last week, remember that the doors to the party didn't open until 5pm. The first team out from that party was Team Arrogant at 5:20, only 20 minutes after the Road Block started. The last team to leave the Pit Stop on tonight's episode (Team NFL) leave at 5:31. That's tight.

A discussion at the train station with Chip and a local produce another route - go to Verona, then Innsbruck and a very fast train to Vienna. Team Arrogant and Team NFL join up and take this route, along with Team Bimbo (Tian & Jaree), Team Buff (Kelly & Jon), Team Who? (David and Jeff - hey, TWoP came up with the name and it's just appropriate right now). The train leaves at 6:54am. Then, all of a sudden you hear Millie yelling "Chuck!! Chuck!!" Millie is in trouble - she's having a asthma attack in the train station. Team Clowns stay with them and give support to Millie. Team Bimbo are now having an actual argument on the train. They're not doing well as a team at all.

Meanwhile, Team ATC finds out that Padua doesn't work out - the only way to Vienna is through the Venice train station. They have now lost a substantial piece of time.

It sounds like Team Clowns (Jon & Al), Team Virgins (Millie & Chuck), Team Weezer & Geezer (Steve & Josh) and Team Friendly (Russell & Cindy - look it says Friends/Dating and I think each of them has a different view of their relationship. You can tell by the way they're talking to - or at - each other) take the same route as the leaders, but a later train one hour behind. Team ATC (Steve & Dave) are now back in Venice waiting for another train which leaves 2 hours after the first.

The first train arrives in Vienna at 6:37pm and the teams find the Route Marker in town. But alas, the great equalizer has come into play - the Route Marker has Hours Of Operation of 8am to 4pm. The teams now decide to get some sleep at the Hotel Kaiserhof.

The next morning, the teams start lining up at the Route Marker - it's an entrance to the Vienna Sewer System, where the teams will have to follow a marked route to get to the next Route Marker. As the teams go underground, the comments from the members are priceless. I believe it was Josh who said "Stinks like ass!". Wonder why Jerry Bruckheimer didn't use that for the title of this episode? Then another one, a woman's voice: "Is this potty water?" Finally, it's back into the winter cloudy daylight. The Route Marker says "chose a flagged Fiacre and find your way to Schonbrunn Palace". Phil explains that a Fiacre is a horse drawn carriage and you claim it by grabbing the ticket that's hanging on the outside of the carriage. They then have to direct their driver approximately 6 miles to Schonbrunn Palace for their next clue. the Fiacres will depart in groups of 3 or 4 every 30 minutes.

So this is how it goes down: Team Arrogant gets to the Fiacre Stand and climb in one of them. Team NFL and Team Buff do the same. Team NFL leans outside the carriage, pulls their pass of the door handle and gives it to their driver. The other teams are arriving and are standing in the line to wait for the other Fiacres to show up. There's a discussion between Team Clowns that the clue says to grab the pass to be able to go. Team Arrogant is just sitting in their carriage trying to figure out why they're not going anywhere. Next thing you know, Jon pulls the pass off the carriage and kick out Team Arrogant. Jaree pulls the same thing on Team Buff's carriage, kicking them off, only after Kelly hits Jon in disgust!

Reichen narrates that the clue says "as soon as you see the horses approaching you may go and claim a tag..." so this is going to look ugly. The horses approach and everyone goes tearing toward the carriages. There's asthma-plagued Millie running like a "bat out of hell". All of a sudden, the camera goes into slo-mo as Chip and Millie fight for a tag as a carriage passes. Chip gets it, Millie gets another and it looks like Jon has the third. Chip starts calling out "I only got one". What the...? They were in a little alliance with Team Who? to get a tag for them. Guess that didn't work out. Millie climbs into her carriage with a "God, he's a jerk! He is.. such a jerk. Oh my gosh." A little later we see Chip coming up to Millie's carriage and Millie saying "Did I do that?" to which Chip replies "It's not your fault". It turns out that somehow, Millie cut Chip's lip during the scramble for the tag. And then Millie says the title of tonight's episode: "You know, I wasn't even going to touch you until you slammed my head backwards because you started the manhandling crap". Hmmm... OK, that's it - Reichen and Chip are in my Black List. They need to be taken down.

The first team to Schonbrunn Palace is Team Bimbo. They find the Route Marker is a Detour. Phil explains tonight's choices of "Mozart" or "Beethoven": In "Mozart", teams must carry a string bass 6 miles to a house where Mozart wrote The Marriage of Figaro. The house is well-known and finding it should be simple, but lugging a bass fiddle across town could be exhausting. In "Beethoven", teams must carry a portfolio of sheet music 11 miles where Beethoven wrote a famous letter known as The Heiligenstadt Testament . It's not a physically demanding task, but in a city where Beethoven occupied at least 5 different homes during his lifetime, finding this little-known house could take a while.

Everybody takes "Mozart" - except Team Buff. They're going to the Beethoven Memorial, but Kelly complains that Jon is doubting everything. Team Weezer & Geezer decide in their carriage to take the Fast Forward. Phil: In this Fast Forward, teams must search the Palace grounds for [this] ballroom and put on formal attire. Then each team member will have to successfully cary a tray of champagne-filled glasses across a dance floor full of waltzing couples. The first team to cross the dance floor with all their glasses standing upright can claim the Fast Forward. Well it took a few tries, but they do it. They can now go to the Pit Stop via train - the Seeschloss Orth in Gmunden.

Team Buff is on a subway or train car asking people where Beethoven memorial is when someone on the train says "which memorial?" Confusion ensues. Team ATC is in their carriage, knowing they're in last place. They give a nervous giggle when the read the Detour that says that "each house is between 5 and 15 miles from here."

At what appears to be a bookstore, Kelly finds out that Jon was right - they're not going to the correct place. Team Bimbo & Team NFL trick Team Clowns into thinking that they didn't know where the house was - they waited until The Clowns left and ducked right into the house, earning them the next clue: "Make your way to the Route Marker at the base of the Donauturm..." - an 1,150-foot "spire" overlooking the Danube River.

Team Buff finds a "cute little old lady" that showed them where to go and they get the next clue.

The teams start arrive at Donauturm, or The Danube Tower and find that the Route Marker is a Road Block. In this Road Block [that] team member will take a 460-foot bungee jump off this immense tower. This gigantic leap is the tallest tower jump in all of Europe. Nothing really unusual happens - everyone readily accepts the challenge (though Millie starts to have another asthma attack at the top of the tower, and Dave does the Road Block to save Steve's knee).

It turns out, that getting to Gmunden isn't all that easy, as Steve & Dave find out as they take a train to the Vienna North station, and Team friendly gets tickets to Gmund instead of Gmunden. Team ATC now has to go to the Vienna West station instead, and Team Friendly just happen to find out they're going to the wrong town and have to go to a different train station, loosing 45 minutes in the mix-up.

Team Weezer & Geezer is Team #1, Team NFL #2. Team Arrogant #3, Team Bimbo #4, Team Virgins #5, Team Clowns #6, Team Who? #7, Team Buff #8.

There are a lot of cutaway shots to Team ATC and Team Friendly on trains, discussing being last and what their chances are.

It's dark. Figures emerge and walk on the mat. Team ATC arrive as Team #9 and can't believe they're still in the race. Team Friendly - Russell & Cindy, arrive last and are eliminated from the race. (Or, as TWoP says - Philiminated!)

Next week - race cars! Chuck has a panic attack! Team Bimbo causes a "showdown in Marseilles"! And we see the title of next week from ATC Steve: "Just check you're tires when you pull out because.. Oh, God, you'll never know what will happen." And it's said as a threat to Tian! The Chicago way!

Here we are again, starting at the last Pit Stop - the Hotel Lajadira, with 3 teams departing at 11:52pm. "Make your way to the bottom of the Trampolino Olimpico... then take the raft van to the top of the hill... and snow raft to your next clue." Well, this is actually the hill underneath a ski jump that was built for the 1956 Winter Olympics, and it's only a mile and a half away in Cortina. They walk the distance, and the rules state only one team per raft van. This looked like a blast! The clue at the end: "Make your way to the Pone Della Guglia Bridge in Venice." The teams have to go to Venice and use one of two train stations (the clue also said "Note: you may not fly"). The Calalzo train station which is closer (only a 30-minute drive) or Alpi which is further away but has an earlier train. (They show the Route Marker on the bridge - and it's the first time I can remember seeing one that had "Hours Of Operation" posted on it.) The first oddity happens when Team Buff (Kelly & Jon) take a cab to the rafting site - but get let off at the top of the hill. They must take the raft van from the bottom to the top. What does Jon do? Why, he slides down the hill on his ass. Kelly follows. They get in the van, go to the top, and then do it correctly in the raft.

Everyone heads to the Calalzo train station, basically when they ask about a train to Venice, everyone tells the teams to goto Calalzo. Everybody is now bunching up... but something weird happens. Team Rainbow (Reichen & Chip) are now after Team Weezer & Geezer (Steve and Josh) and muscle themselves to the front of the line and physically hold onto the door handles and block the entrance (of course, it's pretty damn early in the morning and there's no one around but them TAR'ers). There's even a slight verbal altercation between Team Rainbow and Steve. Odd. A bus pulls into the parking lot and someone asks if the bus goes to Venice. The driver says no, this is the bus to the Alpi train station. The group then finds out about the earlier train to Venice and everyone gets on the bus to go to Alpi to catch the train. Except, everyone isn't there yet. Team Bimbo (Tian and Jaree) and Team Buff (Kelly & Jon) get to the train at Calalzo at don't have a clue where the other 9 teams are. They find out later when talking to a conductor about the earlier train. Cindy & Russell have a little spat. The Route Marker on the bridge is a Detour "Waterway" or "Pathway". In "Waterway", teams travel by gondola using a map to guide their gondolier along the canals to a small plaza... The teams must navigate using only the map and without asking for directions from anyone. In "Pathway", teams must travel by foot to the same small plaza... these teams can ask for directions from the locals and if they use the information correctly, they can complete the task quickly." What they don't know is that it's really not going to matter. Why? Well, Millie and Chuck are the first to find out that the Route Marker in that little plaza has a clue that says: "Make your way to the Route Marker outside the Pallazzo da Mosto..." where they will attend a party which doesn't start until 5pm. Here we go again - everyone bunches up again since this appears to be hours away. Well, eventually after Kelly & Jon find their way.

Team ATC, since they're all busted up, decide to use the time for the Fast Forward - by joining the Commedia dell'Arte street performers. They get the Fast Forward and proceed to the Pit Stop - the Citti di Padova boat docked in front of the Pallazzo du Calle on the Venice lagoon.

Meanwhile, the party eventually begins. The Route Marker is a Road Block And as Phil explains that "A Road Block is a task that only one person may perform", we find out that in this Road Block "that person has to take one photograph from a doorman who is holding pictures of 4 different masks into the Pallazo and search among rooms full of masked revelers and match the masks shown in their picture. If they find the right person, they'll receive their next clue. If they hand the picture to the wrong person, the masked reveler will take the picture and silently walk away. The team member must go back outside and go to the back of the line. Since the doorman will only allow 4 people into the party at one time, getting back in could take a long while." OK, people - this party is CREEPY. Like something out of Eyes Wide Shut, but without the sex and nudity. Think 1600's Masquerade Ball. On top of this, there are a lot of those "revelers". Russell is first Inside, followed by Monica (or as Phil has been saying, "Monicker"), Chip, and then Josh. It is shot twisted, and distorted with odd sound effects and music. CREEPY, I tell ya. Josh gets his photo rejected - back to the back of the line. Jeff is 5th inside. Chip is first out. Tian is 6th in. Russell is next to get his clue. Tian gets her clue. Jon (as TWoP calls him BuffJon) is next inside. Chris in next in. Jeff gets his clue. Jon gets his clue. Millie is the 9th inside. Chris gets his photo rejected. Clown Al is last inside. Josh gets his clue. Notice something by now? Monica is still inside! Team Rainbow (Reichen & Chip) hit the Pit Stop in 2nd Place. Team Buff (Kelly & Jon) are Team Number 3. Monica is still inside. Chris is back inside. Chris is rejected again. Chris goes back inside. Team Bimbo (Tian & Jaree) finishes as Team Number 4. Dave & Jeff are Team Number 5 (I need a team name...). Monica is still inside looking. Al gets his clue. Millie gets her clue. Team Clown (Jon & Al) are Team Number 6. Monica is still looking. Team Friendly (Russell & Cindy) are Team Number 7. Monica is still looking. Team Virgins (Millie & Chuck) are Team Number 8. Team Weezer & Geezer (Steve and Josh) are Team Number 9. Monica finally makes the offer of her picture and she gets her clue. Chris is still looking around and finally gets his clue. Everybody is out and now it's another final race to the Pit Stop with the last two teams. Team NFL (Monica & Sheree) get there earlier and are Team Number Ten. That could only mean one thing - Team Date (Amanda & Chris) are the last team and are eliminated from the race.

Next week: Millie has an asthma attack and puts them way behind, but I think she slugs Chip! We see possible bloody nose! Bungee jumping from a 1200' tower!

And another season of one of the best Reality TV shows begins... After the obligatory introduction of the 12 teams, host Phil Keoghan goes over the rules (13 legs, 9 Pit Stops...) with the teams at their starting point - Center Field at Dodger Stadium in Los Angeles. The teams race for their bags near the warning track, grab the first Route Info on top of their bags, and proceed through the Center Field fence to waiting Mercedes SUV's in the parking lot. The clue" "Get yourselves to Milan, Italy. Once you're there, find the Route Marker inside the Galleria Vittorio Emanuele II ...". There's $200 for the leg, and there's only 3 specific flights to take. OK, if the parking lot is any indication of what's ahead, we're in trouble. Some teams can't even get out of the parking lot. The Models (Tiann & Jaree) have to get a new car - the back hatch won't stay shut, and somehow don't seem to be too rushed to get to the airport. No one seems to know how to get to LAX (Team ATC - Air Traffic Controllers Steve & Dave - from Chicago figure it out by looking up in the air and watching the planes on final!), not to mention what appears to be some pretty poor driving. The Flights are Swissair at 2:55 that can carry 4 teams arrives at 1:15pm, Lufthansa at 2:55 that can carry 3 teams, but arrives 40 minutes later at 1:50pm, and KLM at 3:50 carrying 5 teams. At LAX, Josh (of Steve and Josh) realized that these other other gentlemen (Team ATC) were Air Traffic Controllers, so he wanted a little alliance with them and got them their tickets (the last ones for the Swissair flight) ahead of Team NFL (Monica & Sheree) who were right behind Josh in line, forcing the ladies to go elsewhere, and prompting tonights quote that is the title of the episode. Everyone leaves the country.

The Swissair flight arrives at 1:40pm, while the Lufthansa flight arrives at 1:50pm. It's a dash to the Galleria. One things for sure - The Forum Shops at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas is definitely modeled after this place. The Route Info at the Route Marker says to search the Galleria for tickets for a charter bus, that leaves at 2am, 4am or 6am, and they only need to search the common area (which is over a mile of shops). Once they find a ticket and take it, it's theirs and they cannot exchange it. Well, these things were not easy to find, with two locations being in small crevices between a wall, and another underneath a railing around some al fresco seating at a café. At 3:20, the KLM flight arrives and now everyone is eventually looking for tickets. (Oh, BTW, one highlight of this episode is the repeated falling on their face of many different team members. I don't remember seeing this so much throughout the other 3 seasons!) The teams gravitate to the Hotel Nuovo to try to get a room for the night. Team Media (Debra & Steve) don't like the room rates, so they leave to "think about it". When they return later, the rest of the teams are there as take up the last rooms. Reichen & Chip decide that they would share the room with Debra & Steve. In an unusual event, later in the room, Steve breaks down and cries for not taking the room when he did. An awful sense of foreboding envelopes the scene. Meanwhile, Russel & Cindy "negotiate" a park bench in a plaza. Sniping ensues.

At 1:55am, teams start arriving to board their busses. Hay, wait a minute... where are thy going? They don't know. They are going into the Dolomite Mountains to the town of Cortina D'Ampezzo. The Route Info there says to goto Cinque Torri and go to the top via chairlift and find the Route Marker. The Route Marker is a Detour - "Search" or "Rescue". In "Search", teams get a locater beacon to search 160 acres of snow to find a signal under the snow, which is a set of keys for a snowmobile which they can drive to their next clue. In "Rescue", teams make their way to the huge rock "towers", crossing a 4-steel-cable alpine rescue bridge and using a zip line to get across a 250-foot ravine. No one choses "Search". Team ATC has problems after the crossing, when going down the hill to a route marker,

Team NFL goes for the Fast Forward and gets it by snowshoeing to a Route Marker on a hill in "nearby" Passo Giau. They now go directly to the Pit Stop - the Hotel Lajadira.

Now the moment of the night is when Team Date (Amanda & Chris) are coming down from "Rescue". Amanda is lagging behind and perhaps even whining just a little when Chris turns around and yells at her: "C'mon, Flo!" Whining and swearing ensues...

Team ATC, coming down from "Rescue" has a critical moment - Dave's knee buckles, significantly stalling and slowing their progress.

At the pit stop, three teams jump on the mat together - Team Virgin (Millie & Chuck), Team Date (Amanda & Chris), and Steve & Josh ( I haven't come up with a name for them yet). Phil looks a little confused, as if he's not sure he should say this, but tell them anyway that they've won a Trip to Hawaii from American Airline's website "which you can enjoy after the race". Team NFL shows up in 4th (remember - 3-way tie for first, no 2nd, no 3rd). Team ATC hobbles in in 5th.

The Models don't look like they're holding together very well. There's tension between Tiann, who seems a bit motivated and intense and Jaree who really acts like "Race? We're in a race???" This is evidenced as Jaree flirts with a shop owner and gets some free coffee - which she winds up not drinking because Tiann has been outside trying to get a cab and is finally successful.

Oh - another moment Team Clowns (Jon & Al) show up on the mat with red clown noses! (they finished 7th).

The "race" at the back of the back is actually "tight" between Team Media (Debra & Steve) and The Models (Tiann & Jaree). Debra is "freaking" on the Alpine bridge - her face is almost as white as the snow. It's a little tense as The Models go onto the bridge with her and pretty damn near push her out of the way at the end. Lots of careful editing follows the last two teams to the Pit Stop. Alas, Team Media slowly walks onto the mat, as Phil tells Debra & Steve that they are the last team to arrive. He's sorry to tell them that they've both been eliminated from the race.

Next week: snow rafting, Venice, and a Road Block that looks like it's from Eyes Wide Shut...

• Amanda Adams and Chris Garry, dating couple, from Sioux Falls, SD. Amanda, 25, is a medical technician; Chris, 28, is a freelance graphics designer.
• David Dean and Jeff Strand, best friends, from Los Angeles. David, 32, owns a marketing agency; Jeff, 37, is a real estate broker.
• Debra and Steve Carmody, the married parents, from Louisville, Kentucky. Debra, 49, is director of an artists' colony; Steve, 40, is news director for a radio station.
• Jon Weiss and Al Rios, best friends and clowns, from Long Island. Jon, 40, works as a "human cannonball" for the circus; Al, 34, is an ex-circus clown who now works as a substitute teacher with occasional cruise-ship clowning on the side.
• Kelly Parks and Jon Corso, the engaged couple, from Miami. Kelly, 30, is a model; Jon, 28, is a real estate agent.
• Millie Smith and Chuck Shankles, dating couple (for 12 years) and self-professed virgins, from Chattanooga, Tennessee. Millie, 29, works as an instructor for the Tennessee Aquarium; Chuck, 28, has worked in a series of short-term physical occupations.
• Monica Ambrose and Sheree Buchanan, NFL wives and moms, from Duluth, Georgia. (Wives of Atlanta Falcon Ray Buchanan and former Atlanta Falcon Ashley Ambrose, who was cut from Atlanta in February and was signed by the New Orleans Saints.) Monica, 29 and a mother of two, was an Indianapolis Colts cheerleader; Sheree, 31, has three children.
• Reichen Lehmkuhl and Chip Arndt, married couple, from Los Angeles. Reichen, 28, is a pilot and an instructor at a flight school; Chip, 36, has started his own media-related company. We do not know if this is a civil union or a legal marriage, but we'll probably find out before the race is over.
• Russell Brown and Cindy Duck, friends who are dating, from the greater Los Angeles area. Russell, 32, is a model and entrepreneur; Cindy, 39, is a former model and inventor.
• Steve Meitz and Dave Cottingham, air traffic controllers, from Chicago. Steve is 46; Dave 43.
• Steve and Josh Cottingham, (oh, oh... is there a screw-up in the names here?) father and son, from Santa Barbara and Los Angeles, respectively. Steve, 47, is a supervisor at a juvenile detention facility; Josh, 21, is a computer technician.
• "Tian" Kitchen and Jaree Poteet, models, from Miami Beach. Tian is 30; Jaree 33.

Damn it, I just can't do it... I wanted to do a whole recap like I've done in the past for tonight's 2-hour finale. I just can't. I wanted to tell you about the teams leaving Ho Chi Minh City to take a four-hundred-mile train trip to Hue and find the Imperial Palace. But, you see, this is just the beginning of the madness that is Flo. By the end of the first hour of tonight's finale, Flo will have actually declared defeat and/or intent to quit no less than nine times. The teams go from Ho Chi Minh City, to Hue, to Nam O Da Nang for the first Detour - "Basket Boats" or "Basket Bikes" (where Flo - honest to God - looks like she has, in reality, "lost it" and has - at a minimum - a "meltdown"). The teams to the town of Hoi An, find the Boat Guay, choose a sampan, and travel to the middle of river for their next clue which is a Road Block (to choose a traditional Vietnamese fishing platform and use the wooden winch to raise a net out of the water, where either they or their partner could grab the clue dangling from the net). Flo & Zach have done parts of their Detour at least once. It's painful. I am compelled to throw objects at the TV. Carol and I are screaming at the TV to make the whining end, but Flo, though she says she will, never quits the race... or quits whining, for that matter. The teams travel travel 15 miles to China Beach. Teri & Ian are first (and get a a seven-night Royal Caribbean cruise to Alaska), Oh Brother is second, and Flo & Zach are - of course last... Flo is almost smiling... BUT - Phil chimes in "The good news is that this is not an elimination...". Oh crap, I've got to endure another hour of Flo... So the next leg of the race begins with the teams having to make their way across the city of Danang to a buddha at the Guange Mihn Temple, where their next clue tells them to fly 6500 miles to Honolulu, Hawaii to receive a blessing from the Big Kahuna. A small problem first - Noi Bai Airport in Hanoi requires that all persons entering the airport must have a ticket, so they have to stop at a travel agency to handle the ticketing. This is where Ian shows his true colors again, and becomes the prick that we know. (I mean, he goes behind the ticket counter to help the agents!) So it's flights from Hanoi to Narita Airport in Tokyo, Japan. From there, the teams have two different flights to Hawaii, but because of rain, the flights depart within 15 minutes of each other. When in Hawaii, teams drive Mustang convertibles twenty miles along the Oahu North Shore to the secluded Kaiwana Point, get their blessing, and find out they have to fly 100 miles to the island of Kauai, drive a car 25 miles to a ranch gate and follow markers to the next clue - a Detour: "Quick Drop" and "Slow Walk", where everyone including - Shock! Horrors! - Flo opt for "Quick Drop", a 160-foot tandem drop to the Wailua Falls below. The next stop: Kerry Park in Seattle. After the flight and finding the park, they have to use their feet to get to the International Fountain, which sent them to the west side of Seattle and Lincoln Park - the location of the final Roadblock: it's a totem pole with animal faces. The person needed to spin the faces in the same chronological order they appeared in the race (which was "donkey, dolphin, horse, goat and manatee"). When they were lined-up, a little door opened up and spit out the final clue - get to Gas Works Park. Lots of editing. Lots of cabs (including cabs running red lights and cutting through corner gas stations).

And then comes the shot of the park. All the eliminated teams are there. And in the distance, you can see the trees at the edge of the park... and then they appear...

The winners are Flo & Zach. Now the objects are being hurled at the television. Now comes the swearing and yelling at the TV.

Crap.

Flo and Zach are the winners of The Amazing Race 3. In second, Teri & Ian, and in third, Oh Brother - Ken & Gerard.

Crap.

The teams leave the 10th Pit Stop at Mount Faber overlooking Singapore. Teams have to fly 700 miles to Ho Chi Minh City in Vietnam and make their way to Rex Square and find the statue of Bac Ho (we know him as Ho Chi Minh, the military leader). The crew had to change the flags from Yellow & Red to just Yellow so there would be no confusion with the official colors of Vietnam's flag. There's a little mix-up with a cab that lands Oh Brother at the airport ahead of The Twins. The Twins try to go to Ho Chi Minh City, but can't find a flight, while Oh Brother flies back to Kuala Lumpur. The other teams get to the airport, to find out that Flo & Zach made reservations for The Twins! The teams take different flights, but everyone now goes to Kuala Lumpur, and winds up on the same flight to Ho Chi Minh City, leveling the playing field still again. Flo & Zach's relationship looks like it's unraveling. The Twins get to the square first. The teams must travel 70 miles into the Mekong Delta and find the town of Cai Be and a route marker at the edge of its famous floating market. Teri & Ian pass The Twins in their cab, and literally they start a little race between the cabs. Flo is crying to Zach about the way they're playing the game. Ken & Gerard arrive in a very windy Cai Be first, and find that the next clue is a Detour - "Easy Buy" and "Hard Sell." Teams choosing "Easy Buy" had to choose a sampan, enter the floating market, find the one stall that sold water coconuts and buy one for any price they could. Between the boat travel and the rareness of the fruit, finding the stall could have taken a long time, but once they found it, buying one water coconut would be easy. Teams choosing "Hard Sell" had to choose a shoulder basket filled with fruit, enter the land market, and attempt to sell enough fruit to earn 40,000 dong, or two and a half dollars. With a small area to cover, getting around the market would be easy, but selling $2.50 worth of fruit to the locals when the going rate for one piece is 6 cents could be difficult. When they finished selling, they had to take their earnings to a woman who verified the amount and gave them their next clue. The rain starts to come down. Hard. The three lead teams hit the water looking for the water coconuts, but it becoming impossible to find - the rain is coming down so hard, that the vendor are covering the fruits with blankets. Ken & Gerard head back to do the "Hard Sell". Flo & Zach arrive and decide to do "Hard Sell" as well. Teri & Ian finally find the vendor and purchase their water coconut - that has a clue attached to it. They have to go back to Ho Chi Minh City and find the Route Marker at 2A Ton Duc Thang District 1 at the edge of the Saigon River. The Twins buy their water coconut. Oh Brother still tries to sell their fruit, as well as Flo & Zach. Teri & Ian and The Twins get taxis and head back. Oh Brother finally sells 40,000 dong worth of fruit and gets their clue. Flo & Zach check in with the lady and find out they're 500 dong short and have to go back out to sell, which Zach does. Teri & Ian find the Route Marker from their cab as they pass by it. They get out and find that it's a Roadblock. In this Roadblock, one Team member had to hop on a bicycle taxi, called a cyclo, and transport their Teammate along a course marked by yellow flags, to a ferry, across the river, to an end point. From there, Teams had to run a short distance to the Pit Stop at the Café Thu Thiem. Teri rides as Ian drives. Ian this whole time has been reminiscing about being in Vietnam during the war, and really seems pumped from the whole experience. The Twins see the flags and get out of their cab, but can't find the box. Ditto with Oh Brother. Flo & Zach actually see the box, and get out of their cab to get the Roadblock clue, jumping into 2nd Place. Flo rides as Zach pedals. The Twins and Oh Brother are totally lost and can't find the box. Teri & Ian wind-up at the Pit Stop and step on the mat in First Place. They also get a 7 night cruise vacation in Europe on Royal Caribbean's Splendor of the Seas (which they can enjoy after the race). Ian is different - he's actually really mellow from his Vietnam experience. Flo & Zach get on the ferry. Oh Brother gets to the ferry and Flo & Zach tell them to follow the flags back. The Twins see Flo & Zach on the boat, and then stumble on Oh Brother running away from the ferry. Oh Brother lies to The Twins saying they don't know where the clue is and they go in opposite directions. Oh Brother finds the clue box. Gerard pedals as Ken rides. Unfortunately, Gerard cuts a corner too sharp and dumps the cyclo, but they get up and keep going. The Twins, however, thing the clue is across the river, so they hop on the next ferry. Oh Brother makes their way onto the ferry. Flo & Zach get to the Pit Stop as Team #2. The Twins make it to the parking area of the cyclos and wind up on the mat with Phil who tells them that they have not completed the Roadblock and that they need... The Twins are off the mat before Phil can even finish a sentence and they try to find out what's going on. Flo & Zach had seen The Twins go to the mat and Flo yells to them to go back to the other side. As they get to the ferry, Oh Brother is coming off. Gerard tells them to go back all the way to the end. The Twins realize that they are in last and that "everybody is over there (at the Pit Stop)". The Twins worry and hope that it's a non elimination leg of the race. Ken & Gerard hit the mat as Team #3. The Twins get their cyclo, Drew drives the course, they get to the Pit Stop as the last team, and are eliminated from the race. Next week: The Finale!

TWO HOUR EPISODE! Actually, it's two episodes in one package, so strap yourselves in - it's going to be a long entry....

The teams start at the last pit stop - the Chalet Arnika in Grindelwald Switzerland. The Twins start first - the teams must go to the gletscherschlucht - a 260' deep glacier gorge. They have to figure out how to find a key at the bottom of the gorge to open a mercedes to get the next clue. The Twins pair up with Flo & Zach and decide to back to the chalet to rest during the 4 hours they have until the gorge opens. John Vito & Jill get to the lodge at the gorge first and are surprised that they beat everyone. At 9am, all of the teams take off down the gorge. The keys are on a pole next to a river that everyone passes up. Zach realizes they just past them and they go back, grab the keys, run back to the lodge's parking lot and open the car. The clue is on the windshield - drive 36 miles through the swiss countryside (absolutely gorgeous) to the town of Kandersteg, load the cars onto a car train, and train across the alps to a place called the Sports & Adventure Park in Niouc (Val d'anniviers) in the Valais next to this little tiny red bridge over a huge gorge for the next clue. John Vito & Jill - the only team that hasn't used a Fast Forward - decide to go for it. They have to drive themselves to a traditional cheese making cabin in the Swiss countryside. They'll find a large wheel of cheese that has been slices into cubes with toothpicks in the cubes. They'll have to eat as many cubes as it takes to completely uncover the Fast Forward reward hidden underneath. Jill worries that the cheese may smell bad - like feet! John Vito worries that the cheese is too big and that he can't eat it all. The teams reach the car train, and after asking around, they find out the red bridge is bungy jumping. Ian is in a nasty mood and decides to go over to Flo to make sure she knows that the red bridge is bungy jumping (so that she can worry about it!) Back at the farm, John Vito & Jill finally eat the first piece of cheese that uncovers part of the Fast Forward. They eventually eat the cheese and uncover it, and made their way to this leg's Pit Stop - drive 54 miles to Montreux, find a pedal boat and paddle it to the steamship Savoie floating on Lake Geneva, the largest lake in western Europe. The other teams load their cars onto the train. Flo hopped-in The Twins' car to flirt during the ride, leaving Zach alone. (I had no idea that you ride in your car on the car train). The train pulls in, and the teams try to find the bridge. Teri & Ian look like they get lost. The teams find the clue box and find out it's a Detour - "Extreme Swiss" or "Very Swiss". in "Extreme Swiss", the team must go out onto that little red bridge and take the longest bungy jump in Europe - 620 feet, but it's a quick drive to the next destination. In "Very Swiss", teams drive another 8 miles into the Alps to a farm, to search for a key hidden in a traditional Swiss bell around the necks of 75 goats to open a box to get the next clue. The Twins decide to do the bungy jump, everyone else decides to do goats. The goats are definitely harder - it's not like they're going to cooperate when you run after them to see if their bell has a key in it. Ken gets a key first and runs to the boxes. Each team has their own specific box, and when they open it, they find a clue and a cell phone. Zach is next with a key. The clue says to drive to the banks of Lake Geneva and find the route marker at the Château de Chillon and "as you walk to your car use this T-Mobile phone to call your loved ones at home." They must complete the call before getting into the car and driving to their next destination - the longer on the phone, the later they leave. Gerard calls his wife Jennifer - Ken & Gerard's parents are there, too. Zach calls his sister Ariel, and Flo's best friend Lindsey is there. The Twins do their jump, though Drew was a little skittish about it (oh, lot's of bumper stickers for www.bungy.ch around). They get a phone, too, and call Rebecca, Derek's wife (he's a newlywed of just a couple of months) and their mom. Teri & Ian are still going after the goats, and Teri finally gets a key. They call Teri's sister Phyllis and their sons Brandon and Seth. John Vito & Jill get to the peddle boats on Lake Geneva and paddle out to the steamship, and arrive as Team Number 1. They win a 7 night Caribbean vacation on Royal Caribbean's Explorer of the Seas. ("and you can enjoy that after the race.") Hey, did John Vito & Jill get to make a phone call? Oh Brother (Ken & Gerard) get to the Château de Chillon to find that the clue is a Roadblock. The task is to assemble a Swiss Army bicycle from a pile of parts. There's an identical bike to use as reference. An expert has to inspect it and make sure it's assembled correctly, then teams will ride their bikes to the next destination. The Twins are second at the Roadblock, With Drew assembling. The inspector is strict, making sure things are safe. The teams then ride the two bikes 3 miles to the Bassett Marina, where they pickup the peddle boats to go out to the steamship. Ken & Gerard take off, Flo & Zack just get there with Zach doing the assembly. Teri & Ian finally get there, and Ian assembles (though he seems put out by having to do it). The Twins take off. Ken & Gerard make it to the marina. Flo looks very upset. Oh Brother is hysterical with Phil, chiding him to finally tell them they're Team Number 2. Ian gets his bike completed and he and Teri leave, leaving Zach to build his bike. The Twins make it to the steamboat as team #3. Finally Zach is done, they get the clue, but Zach decides to take time to unzip his pants legs to make them into shorts. Flo is furious as they are now not going to catch Teri & Ian. However, Teri falls off her bike. Teri says the bike is broken, Ian chides her with "oh, Teri", to which she says "I fell off on purpose". Ian fixes it and they continue on. Flo, realizing they are last, doesn't want to exert much energy. She's crying. Teri & Ian are peddling out to the boat, and Flo just wants to walk to the boast since they're losing anyway. She doesn't want to get exhausted and she's humiliated being beat "by two retired people". Teri & Ian make it in as Team Number 4. Flo is mad at Zach for taking his pants off (the title of the show), and they get to the mat. Phil tells them that they are the last team to arrive - "The good news is that this is not an elimination. this is the second of three predetermined non-elimination points and you're still in the race". Apparently, no one is paying attention to the clues to see if they say that the last team is eliminated. So now the teams rest at the Pit Stop until we get to the second part of the episode.

Teams now travel over 50 miles to geneva to the base of the Jet d'Eau the largest fountain in Europe at 450 feet. The clue box is on a stone pathway in the fountain. The clue tell the teams to to go to the Petronas Towers, "in the country of represented by the enclosed flag - which means a 7000 mile flight the tallest buildings in Asia located in Kuala Lumpur in Malaysia. On the way to the fountain, The Twins remember that it's their birthday! The airport appears closed. Flo & Zach are the only team that knows where the Petronas Towers are - everyone else has to ask anybody standing around. In any case, the airport finally starts to open up - but there's not a lot of flights to Kuala Lumpur. Teri & Ian leave at 7:50am on a Swissair flight that goes Geneva-Zurich-Vienna-Kuala Lumpur. The Twins get 4 seats (including Flo & Zach of course) because they don't want to see Flo cry. So all four of the other teams fly Air France at 9;00am Geneva-Paris-Kuala Lumpur. Teri & Ian are in front of the towers at 7:30am. The clue there is to get a local to take their picture using, yes, a Kodak EasyShare digital camera in front of the buildings. They then have to walk a mile to the Ampang Park Shopping Center to develop their pictures (huh?) at a Kodak Picture Maker kiosk to get their next clue. There's no timestamp so there's no way to tell when the rest of the horde gets to the towers from the airport (via train, BTW). Teri & Ian, though in the lead, can't find the shopping center and get side tracked to a train station. They can't find too many people to help them. Somehow, the stumble into the shopping center and the Quick Photo shop. They read the instructions to get a print from their digital card. When they print the photo , the back of the print has the clue printed on it. They have to take a train 200 miles to the Singapore National Orchid Garden and find Margaret Thatcher (an orchid). John Vito & Jill get to the Quick Photo second, followed by Flo & Zach, and then The Twins. They're all in the store and find out that Teri & Ian are actually ahead of them. Flo can't believe it - the entire group was making fun of Teri & Ian on the train trip from the airport. Teri & Ian get to the train station and get tickets for the 11:15 train. The rest of the teams catch up and they are all on the same train. When they get to Singapore, they find out that the Orchid Gardens doesn't open until 8:39 the next day, so the teams have to crash for the night. Teri & Ian get a recommendation from a European couple. Though Zach wants to stay at the YMCA, Flo doesn't want to stay there. They and The Twins find a hotel to split a single room for the four of them. John Vito & Jill find a boarding house. The next morning everyone hits the gardens. Though they are all waiting outside, no one is talking to one another. The Gardens open, and teams are running everywhere, since the Margaret Thatcher orchid isn't on any maps of the facility. Zach finds the clue box first, only to find out that its a Detour. The choices "Dry" or "Wet". In "Dry", teams choose a car to drive to an apartment complex known as Choa Chu Kang Central to find Block 229 at the housing development and apartment 10-137, where Singapore television's biggest star, Phua Chu Kang, would hand them their next clue. There's a hitch, though: all of the roads in this zone of the city are named Choa Chu Kang (they're looking for Choa Chu Kang Way). Once the teams find the correct building, they'll find out that the elevators don't stop on consecutive floors, and apartment numbers flop around from wing to wing. In "Wet" teams still chose a car but go to the Singapore Zoological Gardens to search for mermaids - which are actually manatees. They'll have to don wetsuits and goggles to swim across the manatee enclosure to get the next clue. Flo & Zach are following Ken & Gerard to the apartment complex. The Twins are going to the zoo, along with Teri & Ian. Oh Brother and Flo & Zach find building 229, take the elevator to the 10th floor, but it stops on 11. The Twins make it to the manatees ahead of Teri & Ian. Back at the apartments, the teams are still trying to figure them out, John Vito & Jill are lost and haven't found the complex yet. The teams stumble onto the apartment (gee - the door is decorated and sort of stands out) they get their clue from the very odd looking gentleman. The clue says to "get one step closer to great wealth by finding a clue at the Fountain of Wealth" - driving to Suntec City in downtown Singapore and find the fountain whose waters - locals believe - bring good luck and fortune. The clues are actually inside the fountain. Meanwhile, The Twins are starting to swim across the manatees while Teri is still struggling to get her wetsuit on. There's a flight over a map as Zach doesn't want to give up a map to Ken so they can get to the fountain together. Flo, of course, won't stand for this, grabs the map, and Flo & Zach follow Oh Brother to the fountain. The Twins get directions as they drip all over the people helping them. Flo & Zach are in a big argument as it's obvious that the team is fracturing. John Vito & Jill finally get to the apartment (they don't show them struggling to find the apartment). The Twins hit the fountain first to grab a clue - a route info: "perhaps this ritual will bring you wealth at the end of the race. Now drive yourselves to the next pit stop on top of Mount Faber" - a peak overlooks the city. Flo & Zach hit the fountain next followed by Oh Brother. John Vito & Jill are having problems with directions. Teri & Ian get to the fountain, followed by John Vito & Jill. The Twins hit the Pit Stop as Team Number 1 - they win a a 7 night cruise in Europe (haven't they seen enough of it?) on Royal Caribbean Splendor of the Seas "which you can enjoy after the race". Ken & Gerard are team 2 and Flo & Zach are team 3. Teri & Ian are team 4, John Vito & Jill are team 5 - the last team and are eliminated from the race.

Next week - Vietnam, rain, and Zach may want to quit.

The teams start from Neuschwanstein Castle in Füssen, Germany, the last pit stop. There seems to be a little "something" happening between Drew and Flo. The first clue sends them to Augustinerhof Farm (which doesn't seem far away) and search for their next clue buried in a giant haystack in a barn and, believe it or not, seemed easy to find considering how tall the haystack was. From there, the teams Freidrichshafen where a ferry would take them across Lake Constance to Switzerland. There's a bit of deception happening with The Twins as well as John Vito & Jill and who each pass Ian & Teri and tell them that they don't know where the farm is. At the Ferry Terminal, all of the teams come together and ride the same ferry. On the other side, in Romanshorn, Switzerland, they take a train to Schauffhausen. (It looks like they left their cars - either on the ferry or at the terminal and walk to the train). At Schauffhausen, the teams see a route marker perched on the Rheinfall Rocks in the middle of the Rheinfall, Europe's largest waterfall, and figure out that they have to take a boat to the island. Everyone except John Vito & Jill make the first boat. As the teams get to the other side, they leave their backpacks on the boat and run up stairways up the the rocks on the island. While they're running, the boat leaves to pick up more passengers. John Vito & Jill are on a second boat, going to the island. It turns out that there can only be one boat at the island at a time and they are both in motion, so as the second boat gets to the island, Jill stays on the boat and holds it there while John Vito gets the clue and comes back. They leave as the first boat starts to come back to the island, giving John Vito & Jill a big break. The teams now need to take train 32 miles to the city of Zürich, find the historic town square called the Lindenhof and an officer who would point them to their next clue in an underground vault. Unfortunately, though they all don't know it, all of the teams are on the same train. Everyone is teasing Flo and asking her questions about Zack & Drew. It turns out that the vault, when they find it, is a Detour. Teams had to choose between two ways of obtaining a six-digit code that will open a safe, "Count the Money" or "Run the Numbers." "Count the Money" had to count the Swiss currency in a bowl next to the safe (lots of coins). The total amount of money corresponded to the code to open the safe. Teams choosing "Run the Numbers" had to search the streets of Zürich to find three sets of two-digit numbers to open the safe. (a number on a metal statue on a street corner (12), the sum total of the numbers on the north face of the clock on St. Peter's Church(really - how hard is it to add up 1+2+3+4+5... = 78 - no one got it right!), and the number of trees in the Lindenhof that had red ribbons on them (50). So the code would be 127850, to open the safe.) Well, between adding 1 to 12, and counting trees, everyone was failing and no one tried to just change a few digits when entering the code, so let's just say it took a long time. John Vito & Jill are first to figure it out and open the safe, revealing the next clue - make their way (train) to Grindelwald and find a route marker in a field east of the station. Unfortunately, they miss their train by seconds. There are two trains to Lucerne that the teams split up over, and then they transfer to another train to Grindelwald. Once there, all of the teams run to the field at basically the same time. The field is a Roadblock - well, it's Switzerland, home of the famous folk hero William Tell. A team member will use a crossbow to shoot and apple off of the head of a child (nuts, only a mannequin). An instructor will reload the crossbow for each shot. Zach hits the target first and gets the next clue - find the Chalet Arnika in Grindelwald - the Pit Stop. John Vito can't see well through one eye, so he has to shoot left-handed and is just struggling. Ken is the next one to hit the target, Ian tells Teri to "go get the bags" and then proceeds to hit the target. Derek hits the target and you can see the life just drain from John Vito and Jill as they see all of the other teams running through the field and through town. The teams are now running though the mountainous town, having trouble handling the altitude, especially Flo. (The Twins, however, who run regularly, seem to be fine.) Everyone seems to bunch up. Flo has Zach carry her backpack. A few times. John Vito finally hits the target and now everyone is on the roads. Teri's pants are falling down (it looks like the backpack is pushing them down), and Ian is just a prick and chides her on (the title of this show is what Ian tells Teri). Oh Brother (Ken & Gerrard) take a shortcut around a church to get there quicker - but actually get a little lost in the hilly terrain. Derek & Drew get to the Pit Stop first (and get their Kodak EasyShare digital camera "that can be enjoyed after the race"). Flo & Zach arrive second, Teri and Ian third. Then, from two different directions, come Oh Brother and John Vito and Jill. Ken & Gerard hit the mat first, coming in fourth, making John Vito and Jill coming in last for the leg of the race - BUT it's not an elimination leg! It's the first of three predetermined non-elimination points. Next week: Two Hours! and a a 620-foot bungee jump! (When the hell are they going to leave Europe?)

Teams start from the Riad Catalina in Marrakesh. The teams must fly to Munich, Germany (this sounds like they're going backwards?) and make their way to a statue called Friedensengel and find a puppet (Kasperle) at a puppet show for the next clue. (They only get $1 for this leg of the race!) The teams have trouble getting flights from Marrakesh to Munich and try a few alternate routes (like Marrakesh-Casablanca-Paris-Munich). Turns out that Kasperle is from Austria. The teams must take a train 60 miles to Innsbruck and locate Annensäule - the Pillar of St. Anna near the Olympic Village. Once there, it's a Detour: "Sled" or "Skate". It's a choice of two Olympic events: In "Sled", teams go to an Olympic bobsled track and ride along with a team of bobsledders That would be my personal pick). In "Skate", teams go to an Olympic ice rink and run a relay with a team of Olympic skaters. Flo & Zach feel that they are far behind and decide to go after the Fast Forward - find a surfer surfing a standing wave in the Eisbach River. The get the Fast Forward and now go to Fussen, Germany, the seventh Pit Stop of the race - a meadow below the Neuschwanstein Castle. The rest of the teams, after the Detour, now have to go across town to ride the Gondola Nordkette to the Seegrube Station. The teams wait a LONG time for taxis to show up to take them to the gondola. Andre and Damon are a DAY behind. At the Seegrube Station teams get a Roadblock: The person chosen "should welcome a chance to dangle for a while" They go further up on a cable car (gondola), don safety gear, and descend 250 feet to the ground on a rescue cable to get the next clue. The teams take the gondola back down and drive themselves to Fussen. Flo and Zach get to the Pit Stop first and win a Kodak EasyShare digital camera "that can be enjoyed after the race". Derek accidentally leaves the clue at the ticket counter and Teri tells him where he left it. Later, Teri expected the twins to try to help them because they helped them find their missing clue. Meanwhile, in Innsbruck, the train carrying Andre & Damon pulls into the station... and pulls out again with them as they fell asleep and missed their stop! The teams struggle to figure out how to drive to Fussen. Arguments ensue between team members. Andre & Damon wake up and find out that they have to go to Salzburg to get a train back. Ken & Gerrard drive for quite a while with a flat tire. Derek & Drew are Team #2 to get to the Pit Stop, John Vito and Jill are Team #3. Ken & Gerrard get their tire changed. Teri & Ian are Team #4. Ken & Gerrard are shocked to find out they're Team #5. Andre and Damon get to the Annensäule, and don't get a Detour - instead, they are instructed to go to Fussen. Andre and Damon are eliminated from the race. Their last act - give the $1 back to Phil (they didn't need it!) Next week: Deception, Zürich and falling pants.

The teams leave the Borj Nord Fortress in the city of Fez. The teams must drive themselves 150 miles to the Hassan II Mosque, the second largest religious monument in the world, located in Casablanca. The radiator in John Vito & Jill's SUV blows, sending up steam as they pull to the side of the road. Phil then tells us: "If a car breaks down through no fault of the team or becomes completely inoperable, the rule is that a replacement car may be given to the team at their request, However, no time credit will be given for this unlucky situation." The delay is only an hour, and they are on their way. At the Mosque, there's an argument over a taxi between Teri & Ian (mostly Ian) and Flo & Zach (mostly Flo). Once at the Mosque, the teams must take a train 150 miles to Marrakesh, then a taxi to the outskirts of the city to an oasis called the Palmerie. It looks like Teri & Ian try for the Fast Forward, but then maybe so will John Vito & Jill and Flo & Zach and maybe Aaron & Arianne. To get the Fast Forward, teams have to go to a rug store in the Jamaa El-Fna Market in Marrakesh to search through hundreds of rugs to find one that has the Fast Forward symbol woven into it. Ken & Gerrard hit the Palmerie first, and find a Detour - "Now You See It" or "Now You Don't". In "Now You See It", teams have to ride a horse to a route marker that the can see, get off, and dig for clues painted on pottery hidden in the sand. In "Now You Don't", teams ride a sand bike along a marked route to a route marker that the cannot see, where they will take a rubbing of a clue engraved on a stone. The clue is in Arabic, so the teams need to find a translator. They find out that they have to find transportation back to the center of Marrakesh, and make their way to the roof (the Grand Balcon) of Café Glacier, which opens for dinner at 4:45pm. Teri & Ian get to the rug store first, followed by John Vito & Jill. Teri & Ian find the rug and now go to the Pit Stop at rooftop of the Riad Catalina in Marrakesh. They arrive first and win a Kodak EasyShare digital camera "that can be enjoyed after the race". Meanwhile, at Café Glacier, everyone is waiting for the place to open. Everyone except Aaron & Arianne who just got to town, went for the Fast Forward that was taken, and then had to go out to the Palmerie. When the Café opens, teams find out that there's a Roadblock. The team member must help a local food vendor set up his stand and then sell 5 bowls of escargot. The first team to sell the escargot is Andre & Damon, but the second team to the Pit Stop is Flo & Zach, followed by Ken & Gerrard. Andre & Damon get a cab ride from hell, get dropped off in the middle of nowhere, and wide up being detained. Meanwhile, Derek & Drew are Team Number 4 and John Vito & Jill are Team Number 5. The TAR Security Staff (!!!) had to negotiate the release of Andre & Damon and they arrive as Team Number 6. That means that Aaron & Arianne finish last and are eliminated from the race. Next week (one hour earlier): flat tires!

Teams leave the Torre de Belem, looking for "the western most point of continental Europe" - Cabo da Roca, just 22 miles away. The Detour at Cabo - Ropes or Slopes. In Ropes, teams take a shuttle bus to the top of the Ursa Cliffs and repel 300 feet down to the shoreline below. Slopes is hiking down, a longer and more demanding walk than the quick repelling. Aaron & Arianne get there first. When Flo & Zach get there, Flo starts to seriously freak out over the repelling, crying hysterically as she goes over the edge. She gives up, and they go on their hike. After successfully completing the task, the next segment is to drive 250 miles to Algeciras, Spain, to take a ferry to Tangier, Morocco. The big screwup actually come on the drive to Algeciras, when teams had to fuel-up at a gas station. The problem was that the trucks they were driving were diesel trucks. Aaron & Arianne (who are in the lead), Teri & Ian, Michael & Kathy, and Flo & Zach all fill-up with unleaded gasoline. All break down on the side of the road, everybody handles the situation differently (F&Z get a tow truck and get it fixed quickly, T&I pull the fuel line and drain the tank, A&A get help by the police.) Michael & Kathy, however, check into a 4-star hotel and spend the night, have the car towed to a Mitsubishi dealer, and just wait for the verdict. When finally in Tangier, the teams have to find the Viajes Flandria Travel Agency and book a ride on charter buses to Fez, to the Old City. Next: Roadblock. A team member runs through a marketplace known for its leather. Find a tannery that has 25 vats of "foul smelling dye". The clues are hidden in only three vats. The clues (when finally found), have to take a marked vehicle and drive across town to this leg's Pit Stop - Borj Nord Fortress. Team #1 was The Brothers Ken & Gerard. They also each won a Kodak EasyShare digital camera "that can be enjoyed after the race". They were followed by Andre & Damon and Derek & Drew, and then John Vito & Jill and Flo & Zach step on the mat together (something we haven't seen this year). Because of their delays, Michael & Kathy arrive last and are eliminated from the race. Next show: Road to Marrakesh. (Country Music Awards next week.)

The teams leave Dunnottar Castle to walk a mile and a half to Stonehaven harbor to find a message in a bottle - a bottle of Port. So, now it's from Aberdeen to London. The Twins Derek & Drew and brothers Ken & Gerard are off to Cologne (and then had trouble with a Lufthansa flight out of Cologne, yet were able to get the flight held for them). Everyone now heads to Porto in Portugal, to the Cálem Port Lodge. The lodge has a Detour - Old School or New School - Old school is delivering one barrel (weighing 90 lbs.) of port on boat that needs to be paddled (oared) to one restaurant in town. New school loads crates of bottles onto trucks to deliver 3 crates to 3 restaurants in town (ouch - dropped crates and broken bottles, not to mention the Legal Eagles Heather & Eve hitting a pole with their truck). The next leg is to take a train to Lisbon and get to Gate F at the Estadio do Restelo Soccer Stadium. At the train station in Porto, all of the teams bunch-up and take the same train. There's a mad dash to the stadium via cabs. The Brothers get there first for the leg's Roadblock. A team member has to go into a goal and block a penalty kick from a teenage Portuguese soccer player. Upon blocking the shot, the team must walk one and a half miles to the Torre de Belem, the Pit Stop of the leg. Between the cab rides and the soccer stadium, the teams get really juggled around. The Legal Eagles, however, take a cab and get there first. The Brothers get there second, The Twins get there fourth. (Did you notice Phil didn't say "you are Team Number n" but instead said "you are the n'th team to arrive" to each team?) Somehow, Teri & Ian get there 6th. The last team to arrive on the mat is Aaron & Arianne... wait! It's fading to black! Oh, Oh... Heather & Eve are walking through a dorway and they look sick. They're followed by Aaron & Arianne. It's a sit-down meeting with Phil Keoghan. Phill tells Heather & Eve that they didn't follow the directions for the last clue (walk, not cab to the Torre de Belem) thus saving at least 7 minutes of time. They are penalized the 7 minutes, as well as the mandatory 30 minute penalty for not performing the task correctly. Normally, this wouldn't be a big deal... but all of the teams made it to Torre de Belem within 31 minutes of each other, so the 37 penalty minutes means that Heather & Eve are ELIMINATED!!! Next week: a bawling Flo on the cliffs of Portugal, gasoline in a diesel truck's tank, and no brakes!

Father and Son Dennis & Andrew drop from Ninth Place to elimination tonight. The teams start from the Diamante K Cabanas in Tulúm, fly 5,500 miles to London, England, and then make their way to Scudamore's Punting Company on the River Cam in Cambridge. Many teams take flights from Cancun to Mexico City, hoping for better connections to England. The Twins, and Michael & Kathy and Aaron & Arianne go via Miami, others go via Paris. At Cambridge is the Detour - Punt 1 mile on the river or Bike on tandem bikes 6 miles through Cambridge. Afterward, the teams take charter buses 350 miles to Aberdeen, Scotland. From Aberdeen, the teams have to take taxis to the Stonehaven to find a route marker in a field. Here's the Roadblock for this leg. Here, a member of the team must compete in 3 events from the Highland Games - Caber Toss, Hammer Throw, and Shot Put. After that, the teams race on foot to the chapel at Dunnottar Castle, the Pit Stop for the leg. In the meantime, Dennis & Andrew get to England a day later than everybody else, so they go for the Fast Forward. They still go to Cambridge, but they go to the Duxford Imperial War Museum and drive a war tank through a battlefield obstacle course. They then go to Dunnottar Castle in a chauffeured Rolls Royce limousine. The Twins arrive at the castle first. Somehow, the limousine didn't help and Dennis & Andrew are the last to arrive. Next week: Portugal.

Brother and sister team of Tramel and Talicia follow Soccer Moms Gina and Sylvia from last week and get eliminated at the Diamante K Cabanas in Tulúm. Identical twin brothers Derek and Drew jump form 11th place to 1st by using a Fast Forward (a good move, considering they were last starting the leg).