THEME
"That's Me. That's My Face. Just Hit My face. Hit My Face!"

Well, we're still in Borneo. The teams are at the Sepilok Nature Resort, and it's time to depart: Reichen & Chip at 10:26pm, Jon & Al at 12:56am, David & Jeff at 1:11am, and finally Jon & Kelly at 2:42. Teams must now drive themselves to the Puu Jih Shih Buddhist Temple, the largest Buddhist temple in Malaysian Borneo. Once there, they must search through thousands of tiny Buddha figurines for the one with their names on it. Hidden behind that Buddha is a key to a rattan bag, which holds their next clue. The teams get $400 for this leg of the race, so their must be some pricey things coming up. Chip & Reichen get to the temple first, find their Buddha, get their key and open their clue. Teams must now travel 4,000 miles to Seoul, South Korea. When they land, they'll have to find Namsam Park and make their way to the base of the Seoul Tower (Namsam Tower?), where they'll find their next Route Marker.Vans for the airport arrive every 30 minutes starting at 12:00 midnight, but each van can carry only one team. The Boys decide to chill and wait for the van and have time for a prayer in the temple. Then, they're off to the airport. Jon & Al do their thing at the temple, as well as David & Jeff, who exit the temple while The Clowns were still waiting for their van. Kelly & Jon do their thing. Next thing you know it's daytime and we're back at Kota Kinabalu Airport. All of the teams arrive and wind-up booking the same flights - Singapore, and on to Seoul. In Singapore, David & Jeff start making phone calls to airlines for an earlier connection, and find one through Hong Kong which gets them in at 4:55 - an hour earlier. They get on Stand-by. Or, they think they got on Stand-By. Jon & Al show-up and have the same idea. Quick shots of Chip & Reichen eating hamburgers and french fries at the airport. So, it turns out that David and Jeff bought a ticket but didn't "check into their system" whatever that meant. They're upset that they really don't have Stand By so they have a discussion and they can somehow get on the flight. So do Jon & Al. They leave at 7pm to Hong Kong. Meanwhile, the teams waiting for their flight to Seoul, start to wonder what happened to other teams. They depart on their flight at 10:35pm. Sure enough, it's about 5am and the Hong Kong flight arrives in Seoul. The teams have come most of the way around the globe, and it's here in Korea where they start hitting problems with language. No one seems to speak english. The two teams make it, somehow to Seoul Tower Teams must now travel over 50 miles to the rural Sundam Valley, only minutes away from the North Korean border. Once there, they must locate the Route Marker on the bank of the Han-Tan River. Team Who & The Clowns decide to share a van, since it's a bit pricey ($100 one way). The other teams land in Seoul at 5:40am, with Kelly & Jon taking the lead. Both teams pick up their clues and are on their way. Well, actually Chip & Reichen aren't on their way yet - their driver doesn't understand where they need to go (that language barrier again).

Chip & Reichen decide to get a taxi driver to take them to the Grand Hyatt Seoul and then tried to get the workers there (bellmen, concierges) to get them an English-speaking taxi driver - which they sort of get. Meanwhile the two lead teams are now at a gas station trying to get directions. Chip & Reichen's taxi driver now has his hazard flashers on, which somehow means he has an emergency and can actually run red lights. (?) Team Who & The Clowns all of a sudden realize that they are no longer in the valley, they see army tanks, and they're crossing a bridge they were told at the gas station NOT to cross. They are on their way to the DMZ!!!!!! They get their driver to turn around... and are somehow passed by Kelly & Jon!!! Chip & Reichen arrive at Rafting Korea - the first team to arrive - and they're shocked - SHOCKED! Kelly & Jon arrive 2nd. David & Job take the #3 claim ticket, while Jon & Al take #4. They open their clues to find a Roadblock "Which of you has the colder personality?" One Team member must plunge into the frigid water, fight the current, and swim underneath the frozen river to the exit hole. Once their body temperature rises to a safe level, a doctor will clear them to leave and they'll receive their next clue. There's a great little piece here... the clue says that the person has to "strip to their skivvies" to swim. As Chip and Reichen walk toward the river, you can hear Reichen ask "What are skivvies?" The Korean crew now cuts large square holes in the ice with chainsaws. The ice is about 12-18" thick. Damn, this has gotta be cold. The medical staff asks question of Chip as he gets ready. Things like "Have you had a heart attack before? Hearing problems?" And they lead chip out onto the ice - barefoot, of course. Chip just goes right in and swims under the ice. Kelly is astonished and excited to see this. The distance doesn't look too far. This just looks like hell. Chip warms up enough and they get the next clue. Teams must now travel back to Seoul and find Subway Station 228 - one stop among hundreds in the city's maze of subway lines. Somewhere in the crowded station, they'll find their next Route Marker. Chip & Reichen take off in their taxi. Time for Jon and his turn. Kelly runs along the ice with him and helps in the tent. They leave. Jeff is next and his body takes time to warm up. Al is the last guy. I just noticed that they get their clue in a Ziploc bag at the ladder that comes out of the ice. David & Jeff decide to leave, saying that they really need to split-up from The Clowns (saying that sharing the cab was a huge mistake). Now, wait a minute. Jon and Al are getting ready to leave. If David & Jeff left... there's no cab!

Turns out, Team Who? (aka "The Goats") moved the cab, and they decide that they will find another cab, and then they'll split up. Chip & Reichen tell their cab driver that they need to go to Subway Station 228 and somehow the cab driver knows that it's the stop for Seoul University! He obviously knows where he's going. The two Sharing Teams arrive at an intersection that looks IDENTICAL to when they caught up to Kelly & Jon. I need to look at this again on my TiVo... DAMN!!! It's the same scene!!! Not exactly the same scene, this one is actually a piece they cut out between two scenes of the trip there!!! Damn you Jerry Bruckheimmer!!! Anyway, Team Who? gets out of the shared van into a cab. The Clowns take off. The Chipsters run into really bad traffic. They all run into bad traffic. Everyone has the idea just to get to the nearest subway station and they all travel by subway to 228. Kelly & Jon have a little argument about having to get across the river to get to the subway station - as if Jon doesn't believe subways run under rivers. Team Who hits the subway and they're off. Off getting lost again, that is. They get out of the subway, and take a cab to the National University. In the meantime, Kelly & Jon arrive by taxi at Subway Station 228, just as The Chipsters get off the subway train inside Subway Station 228. The Chipsters scour the platform for the Route Marker, which we see through Kelly & Jon is upstairs. They get the clue first and we see that it's a Detour - "Strong Hands' or "Strong Stomach". In "Strong Hands" teams follow a map to a martial arts center. Then, using the ancient art of tae kwon do, each team member must break three sets of wooden planks. Breaking the planks may seem daunting, but if they master the skills they're shown by the instructor, they could finish quickly. In "Strong Stomach" teams follow a map to a restaurant, where team member will have to eat a Korean delicacy. What they'll find out when they get there is that the Korean delicacy is a live octopus. There's no skill required for this task, but teams will finish only as fast as their stomachs allowed. Kelly decides they should "break a board". (I'm ignoring the fact that Jon said that if they went to the restaurant they'd probably be eating "butt lickers".) The Chipsters decide to go to the restaurant. They enter, sit, down, hear chopping in the back room and notice the bowl of live octopus sitting in the middle of the table. Kelly & Jon enter the martial arts center. David & Jeff are having problems with their cab driver, who seems to be doing tai chi in the front seat. Back at the restaurant, the Chipsters get their plates of octopus. The plate is in constant motion - yes, even though it's chopped up, everything still works and still moves!!! Reichen talks about how he tried to chew and swallow it, but its tentacles attached themselves to his teeth!!!! He yanks it out of his mouth, flings it onto his plate and IT CRAWLS OFF!!!! HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!!! Chip starts retching. Jon goes through all three boards, while still fully dresses, including this stupid hat that he wears. Kelly steps up and her first punch doesn't do a thing. You can look into her eyes and see the tears well up. She's hurting. Back at the restaurant, Reichen looks sick and he's slowing down. Chip decides that the best way to handle this is to do this like oyster shooters "like at their wedding". Who has oyster shooters at their wedding? Anyway, they take small bits of octopus and slug it down with cold water. Back at the martial arts center, Kelly breaks a board. She needs to break 5, unfortunately. She goes again and gets through her first stack. She hits the second stack - and cracked the first board. That looked worse than before. She goes again and breaks the stack. A close-up of her hand shows that it's red and raw. The last stack is 7 boards. Jon, trying to motivate her, says the quote that's the title of the show, and miraculously, she drives her hand through the entire stack. They get their clue - "make your way to the next Pit Stop..." Teams must drive across town to Gyeongbokgung Palace, the largest royal residence in all of Seoul. The pavilion on the palace grounds is the Pit Stop for this leg of the race. Waiting for a taxi, you see that Kelly's hand is red, and she's bleeding at the first knuckle on her thumb and index finger. The Clowns arrive via subway at Subway Station 228 and get the clue- The choose "Strong Hands". Back at the restaurant, Reichen finally gets the last pieces of octopus down and they're off to the Pit Stop. David & Jeff arrive via taxi at Subway Station 228 and choose "Strong Stomach". They have no idea. Jon blasts through his first stack of boards, and it actually startles him a bit. He easily gets through the other two stacks. Team Who? arrives at the restaurant for some san-nak-gee They freaked a bit that it was still alive. Jeff says "The tentacles still work, bro." David says "One's, like, climbing off my plate." David: "They suction on your teeth while you're trying to chew 'em." Jeff: "That's a big plate of it, too." David: "Dude, there's like eyeballs and stuff. This is disgusting." Oh, yeah. Panic sets in. They bail and decide to do "Strong Hands". Al takes his first strike at his first stack and blows it. His second try nails it. He sails through the rest, they get the clue, and they're on their way to the Pit Stop. Team Who? makes it to the center, and Jeff goes through his three stacks of boards. David blows his first punch and nails the next three. They're off to the Pit Stop. Chip & Reichen don't like their passive taxi driver. Kelly is bitching at Jon as they get out of their taxi that this isn't it and it's back where they were, and they should have listened to their first instincts. They are running around the palace grounds. The Chipsters arrive and they're off to find The Amazing Bathmat. There comes Jon followed by Kelly on to the mat as Phil tells them "You're Team Number 1". They also win a "vacation to the sunny Caribbean" compliments of American Airline's website "which you can enjoy after the race." The Chipsters find Phil and they're "Team Number 2". It's an edited cab race now. Here come The Clowns as "Team Number 3", as Team Who? walks onto the mat. Phil says: "David & Jeff - you're the last team to arrive. I'm... happy to tell you, however, this is the second of three predetermined non-elimination legs, and you're both still in the race." What, another one????

Next week: Kelly repels face first down a building and Reichen may sleep with the fishes... actually he may be eaten by sharks!