THEME
"We're Going Down the Wrong Side of the Freeway... and the Lights Are Off!"

The teams are still in Mumbai, India. Team Who? (David & Jeff) are the first to depart the Pit Stop at 12:51am. Teams must now travel 43 miles to the town of Panvel, find the train station, and ride 860 miles by train to a place called Ernakulam Junction. They have $70 for the leg. Team Who? arranged for a taxi the night before. Chip & Reichen go to a hotel's concierge to arrange their cab. Kelly and Jon talk to a local who says you can get to Panvel Station from Victoria Station. Millie & Chuck go to Panvel. Jon & Al also talk to a local about Panvel, and find out about Victoria. They opt for a hotel stay, since the ticket windows won't open until 4am. Tian & Jaree are in a cab going the wrong direction on a freeway! (hence, the title of this week's episode). Team Who? is out of their cab at a building... that used to be Panvel Station (they think it's someone's house!) and they have to go to the new Panvel Station.The get to the new place and opt for going to a hotel and wait. Tian & Jaree spend the night with Chip & Reichen on the floor of the train station. It's the next morning, and we see Kelly & Jon board the train from Victoria Terminal to Panvel Station at 6:38am. Team Clown (Jon & Al) catch the next train at 7:10am. You get the distinct feeling that these groups are falling behind since they're not even in Panvel. Kelly & Jon get to Panvel and meet-up with the others. Team Clowns arrive, followed by Team Who? (weren't they first to Panvel?). All of the teams are together, taking the same train, which apparently reeks. Jon & All decide they can't take the heat and smell after train is underway, so they opt to upgrade to a first class air-conditioned car. Everyone else then decided to upgrade - except Team Virgins (Millie & Chuck).

The train rolls-on for 26 hours. Kelly & Jon start talking about their mean-spirited nicknames for Millie ("Millie-Mole") and Chuck ("Werewolf") with Chip & Reichen. Jon thinks Millie's mole is growing during the course of the race due to stress.

The train pulls into Ernakulam and everyone tries to find a cab. Teams must travel along National Highway 47 and search among thousands of billboards for the route marker... David & Jeff get a cab driver who's name is Money??? Chip argues with drivers making sure that their gas tank is full. Team Who? finds the Route Marker first. Teams must now travel an additional 25 miles by taxi to the town of Alleppey and find [a] locally known sports field, where they'll get their next clue.

Lots of typical cab race jockeying. Millie & Chuck have to stop for gas. Chip & Reichen are the last team to find the billboard. Millie & Chuck's cab starts beeping and it's now overheating. Reichen & Chip's taxi has to stop for gas.

Team Who gets to this "field" which is actually underwater. The Route Marker is a Roadblock. In this Roadblock, that person has to take part in a sport invented over a hundred years ago by local farmers - Bull Racing. In this sport, they'll have to hang onto a team of bulls while they race at top speed along this mud track, approximately the length of a football field. If they can hang on until the end, they will get their next clue. But only one team may bull-race at a time, so if they fail to hang on, they'll have to go to the end of any line that may have formed and wait until they can try again.

OK, this sucks. this is mud (and probably bull feces and God knows what). David goes first and succeeds, but... he's wearing his clothes - his shirt pants and shoes. Ew.

Teams must now travel through the town of Alleppey to Beach Road (there's a beach here?) and find [this] Route Marker where they'll find their next clue.

Clown Al goes next and succeeds. (These people look like hell, and I don't know how the taxi drivers are letting these people in their cabs).

Tian is next and quickly fails (this is her sixth consecutive Roadblock for her Team). Jon goes next and succeeds. (At least he doesn't have his shoes on). Tian tries and fails again. Tian tries again and actually makes it. (Back in the cab, a bubbly Jaree tells Tian "You look sexy as shit, right now with all that mud on you, I swear to God. That's hot, dude. That totally hot.")

Chuck succeeds at the race. Reichen succeeds.

Team Who? gets to the Route Marker - a Detour. In this Detour, the choice is "Baskets" or Trunks". In "Baskets", teams must load 10 live chickens into the baskets on one of these traditional bicycle-powered wagons. Then, navigating for themselves, they must deliver the chickens to the farm circled on [this] map. Riding the bikes in the boiling hot sun could be exhausting, but teams can go as fast as their legs allow. In "trunks", teams must load two bales of traditional Indian fabric known as coir onto an elephant. Then, they must deliver the fabric to the coir shop circled on [this] map. Riding the elephant should not be tiring at all, but teams will only travel as fast as the elephant wants to go. Either either task, teams must deliver their cargo before they'll receive their next clue.

Everyone starts to take "Trunks" (not a surprise for Team Clowns). David: "Riding an elephant is painful. That spine of that elephant is very close to the skin, so you feel it right up the old... uh... you know... 'friendly family' there."

Tian & Jaree do trunks because Jaree wanted to do elephants if they went to India - it looked like Tian was thinking about "Baskets" but was definitely overridden. Then they start to leave without their two bundles of coirs. As they pull out, last place Chip & Reichen get to the Detour and choose "Baskets" instead, to try to make up time.

Best line of the show that should have been made the title:

Jon: "I'm in so much pain!:
Kelly: "You are??? I have a chain up my cookie!"
MP3

Team Who? gets to the market first. The Route Marker clue tells them to go to The Finishing Point, which usually is the finishing line for the town's boat races (I guess there is a lake).

David & Jeff are the first team to arrive, a seven-night cruise vacation to the Western Caribbean on Royal Caribbean's Voyager of the Seas. Phil also says to David "And you... really need a shower".

Team Clowns (John and Al) are the second team to arrive (Hey, Phil's wording this week is odd. They're not "Team Number Two", they're "The second team to arrive", almost like this could have been a non-elimination leg. At the top of the show, Phil said in the tease "Who will be eliminated ... next" instead of the usual "Who will be eliminated... tonight".)

It's now a Race for last between Tian & Jaree on the elephant and Reichen (pedaling) and Chip. Editing shows both of them getting the clue at the same time.

Kelly and Jon are the third team to arrive, Millie & Chuck are the fourth.

Reichen and Chip run down a path and are the fifth team to arrive.

A muddy, dirty, smelly Tian and sweaty Jaree hit the Amazing Bathmat last, and are eliminated from the race.

Next week: Millie drowns. Well, not really. At least I don't think so...