"They're Slithering to the Finish Line Like the Rest of Us!"

Damn it, I just can't do it... I wanted to do a whole recap like I've done in the past for tonight's 2-hour finale. I just can't. I wanted to tell you about the teams leaving Ho Chi Minh City to take a four-hundred-mile train trip to Hue and find the Imperial Palace. But, you see, this is just the beginning of the madness that is Flo. By the end of the first hour of tonight's finale, Flo will have actually declared defeat and/or intent to quit no less than nine times. The teams go from Ho Chi Minh City, to Hue, to Nam O Da Nang for the first Detour - "Basket Boats" or "Basket Bikes" (where Flo - honest to God - looks like she has, in reality, "lost it" and has - at a minimum - a "meltdown"). The teams to the town of Hoi An, find the Boat Guay, choose a sampan, and travel to the middle of river for their next clue which is a Road Block (to choose a traditional Vietnamese fishing platform and use the wooden winch to raise a net out of the water, where either they or their partner could grab the clue dangling from the net). Flo & Zach have done parts of their Detour at least once. It's painful. I am compelled to throw objects at the TV. Carol and I are screaming at the TV to make the whining end, but Flo, though she says she will, never quits the race... or quits whining, for that matter. The teams travel travel 15 miles to China Beach. Teri & Ian are first (and get a a seven-night Royal Caribbean cruise to Alaska), Oh Brother is second, and Flo & Zach are - of course last... Flo is almost smiling... BUT - Phil chimes in "The good news is that this is not an elimination...". Oh crap, I've got to endure another hour of Flo... So the next leg of the race begins with the teams having to make their way across the city of Danang to a buddha at the Guange Mihn Temple, where their next clue tells them to fly 6500 miles to Honolulu, Hawaii to receive a blessing from the Big Kahuna. A small problem first - Noi Bai Airport in Hanoi requires that all persons entering the airport must have a ticket, so they have to stop at a travel agency to handle the ticketing. This is where Ian shows his true colors again, and becomes the prick that we know. (I mean, he goes behind the ticket counter to help the agents!) So it's flights from Hanoi to Narita Airport in Tokyo, Japan. From there, the teams have two different flights to Hawaii, but because of rain, the flights depart within 15 minutes of each other. When in Hawaii, teams drive Mustang convertibles twenty miles along the Oahu North Shore to the secluded Kaiwana Point, get their blessing, and find out they have to fly 100 miles to the island of Kauai, drive a car 25 miles to a ranch gate and follow markers to the next clue - a Detour: "Quick Drop" and "Slow Walk", where everyone including - Shock! Horrors! - Flo opt for "Quick Drop", a 160-foot tandem drop to the Wailua Falls below. The next stop: Kerry Park in Seattle. After the flight and finding the park, they have to use their feet to get to the International Fountain, which sent them to the west side of Seattle and Lincoln Park - the location of the final Roadblock: it's a totem pole with animal faces. The person needed to spin the faces in the same chronological order they appeared in the race (which was "donkey, dolphin, horse, goat and manatee"). When they were lined-up, a little door opened up and spit out the final clue - get to Gas Works Park. Lots of editing. Lots of cabs (including cabs running red lights and cutting through corner gas stations).

And then comes the shot of the park. All the eliminated teams are there. And in the distance, you can see the trees at the edge of the park... and then they appear...

The winners are Flo & Zach. Now the objects are being hurled at the television. Now comes the swearing and yelling at the TV.

Crap.

Flo and Zach are the winners of The Amazing Race 3. In second, Teri & Ian, and in third, Oh Brother - Ken & Gerard.

Crap.